Music, Playlist

Summer Palooza 2k17

Summer solstice has occurred and you KNOW what time it is. Three cheers for the return of SUMMAH PALOOOOOOOZA. And in great news, this year’s version didn’t start a fight between my sister and I. We are hashtag blessed that making this mix didn’t create a family divide for once* and the best season of the year may begin now. (*We’ll be sick of this mix in roughly 10 days)

I’m the One-Dj Khaled ft. Justin Bieber, Chance the Rapper, Lil Wayne. As much as it pains me to kick off arguably the most awaited mix of the year with this buffoon DJ Khaled…it’s a bangpiece of a song and that beat just screams summer and drinking. I’m willing to overlook the girl riding a horse with her tits bouncing all over town in the music video, the fact that Lil Wayne rhymed record with record three times and DJ Khaled calling himself a rapper when all he does is shout WE THE BEST and ANOTHA ONE. All for a good summer jam.

djkhaled

PS Sick purple outfit, bruh. NAHT.

Craving You – Thomas Rhett ft. Maren Morris. We will politely ignore the fact that Maren is on this song in any capacity and just groove to TR like nobody’s biz. Hey Maren, why don’t you writhe all over Keith Urban again in your hot pants and bralette onstage? PEOPLE DON’T FORGET.

Cut To The Feeling – Carly Rae Jepsen. Didn’t give our girl Carly a second thought since Call Me Maybe because to be honest, when you start out the gate with the most epic song on this planet, there’s no way you can ever top yourself. But I guess she’s back and she’s feeling the 80’s real hard so here’s this Breakfast Club beat that will never be as good as her first single.

Body Like A Back Road – Sam Hunt. This song is kind of old and a little overplayed but bonus points for it not having Sam’s weird talk/rapping in it and also triple bonus points because he’s gonna take it real slow on my curves. I mean, whoever’s curves he’s singing about. #sexstuff

Galway Girl – Ed Sheeran. SHE PLAYED THE FIDDLE IN AN IRISH BAND! It’s quite literally impossible not to feel happy when you hear this song. It immediately makes me want to do a car bomb and break into a joyous jig. It’s the song of forever, not just the summer.

Another Love Song – Ne-Yo. Hey what happened to Ne-Yo? Jason Derulo pretty much jacked his schtick but guess what…Jason disappointed us this year with some pretty garbage music lately so Ne-Yo is swooping back in to claim his R&Bizzle throne.

No Such Thing as a Broken Heart – Old Dominion. How many songs reference Jack and Diane as if they’re real human beings? I wonder if John Mellencamp gets resids every time they do. That’d be clutch. Either way, here’s some more country because it’s finally warm enough to listen to country and not be depressed AF. Also it’s a song with a nice message and it’s not just about drinking beer and fishing.

Despacito – Luis Fonsi, Daddy Yankee ft. Justin Bieber. I fought real hard for this number to make the cut because even though it’s 90% not in my language, it just makes me want to move my hips and I’m not sorry bout it. Shouts to JBiebz for getting two songs on Summer Palooza and also making this acceptable for American radio play with his spanglish ramblings.

Sleep Without You – Brett Young. Technically this came out a billion years ago but Brett is a real babe soda and he just wants to snuggle with a lady after she goes clubbin with her lady friends. Can’t knock a guy who lets you do your own thing and just waits for you to come home and spoon him. Actually now that I’ve typed that out he kinda sounds like a loser. But whatevs, the intentions are adorbs.

brettyoung

Remember I Told You – Nick Jonas feat. Anne-Marie & Mike Posner. We were trying to be like the youths by adding this song. I was thinking it appealed to the college aged kids but when I listened to it for a little inspiration for this description my sister’s newborn baby started cooing along to the beat. No joke. So I guess hotter Jonas appeals to ALL ages.

No Promises – Cheat Codes ft. Demi Lovato. This song is caaatchyyyyy AF. Also it created quite a stir in the news because Demi decided to rock some dreads in the video. Hey Demi, act like you’ve been famous before–everyone knows that whites with dreads offends the world. Run a brush through ya hair.

dreads

Hopin’ You Were Lookin’ – Rascal Flatts. Rascal Flatts continues to prove that three middle aged guys who can’t sing for shit can work some real magic in the studio and release bangerz every year. I wish I could snake it that hard to be rich. I put out a banging summer playlist every year and what do I get? NOTHIN I TELL YA.

There’s Nothing Holdin’ Me Back – Shawn Mendes. Teen dream Shawn made it on b2b summer palooza’s so you know he’s legit. Honestly he could sing about farting and I would listen to it all day erreday. I just laughed out loud at the word farting. Because I’m about as mature as his preteen fans, so really it all adds up.

Give Love – Andy Grammer feat. LunchMoney Lewis. Shouts to Andy for tossing a little work at LunchMoney. We haven’t heard from him since he sang about the bills he had to pay while sitting on the can, and it looks like he got himself into shape. Just kidding. He’s still 1000 pounds. Andy still kills it at pop-tastic singles. Three cheers for consistency.

lunchmoney

She’s With Me – High Valley. This is the part of searching for new songs for three weeks where my sister and I pull songs out of our asses and decide that they’re summer palooza worthy just because we’re desp. Either way, it’s SUPRISINGLY UPBEAT!

Strip That Down – Liam Payne Ft. Quavo. Truth bomb: Liam’s single is the worst one from all the 1D solo breakouts plus he shits all over the group and said he hates Harry’s music. (The disrespect is REAL.) Regardless, can’t deny that this beat makes you wanna wiggle. So ignore the “I’m so much cooler than 1D” lyrics and drop it low.

Love Someone – Brett Eldredge. Can’t have summer without a new Brett jam. He’s been crushing it lately with fresh music and I’m all in on watching him serenade his pup on Snapchat every damn day until the end of time.

White Houses – Vanessa Carlton. The season cannot begin nor end without ‘Ness singing about sweaty *consensual* first times in the back of a car. (I copied and pasted this from Summer Palooza 2k16…because this song never changes. Sue me. I dare you.)

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JUice

Weekly JUice

Week of 11/14/16

1-3. People continues to disappoint. 

What once was a joyous occasion, the unveiling of People’s Sexiest Man Alive, has quickly turned into an annual disappointment. In my early blog days I wrote a thinkpiece (whiny bitch blog) about how Ryan Gosling has never won and Chris Hemsworth didn’t deserve the title. I shit pretty hard on People. Then last year they listened and gave the honor to David Beckham, which was the most deserved. This year, I’m out again. Sure, The Rock is funny and looks gr8 in a turtleneck and mom jeans but that doesn’t make a sexiest man alive. Before I get on a rant…here’s  a quick list of five hot guys who are killing it this year, and deserve the cover just as much.

Scott-Eastwood-photo

Scott Eastwood is getting more movies after his Nicholas Sparks debut, he was a T Swift love interest and he looks like that. So yeah, he’s a contender.

Brett makes bangarang country music and DELIVERS on snapchat with a segment he calls “Bedhead Jams” where he serenades me (and ME ONLY) right before he goes to bed. It’s what dreams are made of, literally. Honorable mention to Edgar his new puppy who he cuddles sometimes for bedhead jams and it literally causes my heart to explode. Doesn’t get more classic than hot guys and puppies.

joebiden

Young Joe Biden. Nuff said.

milogif

2016 is straight up the year of Milo. This Is Us is snagging up those ratings with his hot sensitive dad thing and also Team Jess forever, he’s about to rock out a Gilmore Girls comeback as well. Welcome back, Milo. We’ve missed you.

Kris Bryant - Portrait

Shoutout to Kris Bryant, my #1 sexiest man alive of the moment, and the reason I became a Cubs fan during the World Series. I’m so glad I hopped aboard the Cubbies wagon when I did because they won the damn thing, Kris’s smile and ocean eyes mesmerized me on the winning play and also I got to learn the words to Go Cubs Go, which is a real hit song. I’m sure everyone appreciated me singing it drunk at the bar the following weekend. Anyway, Kris just won MVP and it would’ve been pretty sweet if he could’ve won that and a title for being sexy all in the same week. Whatever, People. Kris you’ll always have my heart as my first MLB boyfriend. Props to my dad who pointed him out to me then told me I definitely had a chance.

And as a bonus add:

jT

Because until he wins I’ll petition every single year. An all around entertainer and hunky slab of meat, JT has deserved to take home this W the most.

4. Meh on the Weekend. I’m very outspoken in the fact that Continuum is on my top ten CD’s of all time and I could listen to it forever and ever. Those were the days…back when JayMay was a little bit racist in Rolling Stone but crushed the soulful music. Then he disappeared and came back soft and put out shitty music. When he announced new music last week I was rubbing my hands together in anticipation and I gotta be honest I feel a little let down. I’ll give it a chance because JT’s big comeback was Suit & Tie (barf forever) and then he crushed it with the 20/20 experience but still…not impressed big J.

5a. Lucas Scott, the novelist. Chad Michael Murray wrote a romance novel and it’s not called The Comet. Psh. Sounds lame AF. No seriously though, I got excited for a Lucas Scott original IRL until I saw that it was an adventure novel with dabbles of romance. Count me OUT.

lucas

5b. In related news, the OTH gang reunited for the 100th convention last weekend in Chicago (where Sophia Bush films her TV show) and they still could only get about 4 characters to show up. We did get a little Scott brothers action though and for that I am thankful.

Bonus points for Taylor James making an appearance. CAUSE WHAT IS A OTH CONVENTION WITHOUT HER?!

I realize I kind of mailed in the JUice this week and for that I apologize and leave you with this picture of a FLAWLESS* Blake Lively hitting the red carpet for the first time since baby numero dos was born.

blake

 

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JUice

Weekly JUice

Week of 6/20/16

1. She got an LA face with dat Oakland Booty. That movie where Blake Lively gets attacked by a shark has finally premiered, which means Blake is back in the spotlight showing off her bangin wardrobe/bod/life and making me drool uncontrollably. Enjoy her top looks from this week while I scheme ways to recreate all of them. PS she addressed her “controversial” insta caption of a rap lyric and was like all hail curves, na’sayin? Thank you Blake, for being a voice for all of those Oakland booties all over the world (me.)

 

2. Solo Styles. I mean I guess this isn’t really news but Harry has signed a recording contract and will be the next to go SoLo. Hopefully he takes some notes from Zayn’s  sexual lyrics and amps it up a trillion billion. Although I’m not sure when he’ll find the time to lay down some tracks…maybe in between starring in Christopher Nolan films?

YAAASSS WWII HARRY. GIVE IT TO ME. Too much? Too little? Just enough?

3. Boring People Rewarded with Reality Show.

Exsqueeze me? The most vanilla and boring couple of the Bachelor franchise is snagging a reality show…on ABC FAMILY?! I’m not going to lie to you when I say that I was irrationally heated about this when I heard the news. These two had a shelf life that was about to expire in the fall and instead they parlayed it into a year long contract with a network for tweens. So whateva, go ahead and cash in on your five minutes before you eventually break up but know that everyone in the world wished it was Shawn and Kaitlyn who got a reality show because they’re actually hilarious entertainers who should be paid just for their snap stories alone. Here’s a quick tip for the “future” Mr & Mrs Higgi, from a true TV addict, couples who move in together and instantly let cameras follow them around TEND NOT TO LAST. Also, Ben told JoJo he loved her too. PEOPLE DON’T FORGET.

4. PSA: Don’t mix xanies with cocktails mid-air.

bridesmaids plane

This is salacious gossip, which I don’t typically include on the JUice especially if it has to do with the well-being of someone but since Selma already apologized and it was just a quick mixup, I decided to use it as a PSA for anyone who is a nervous flyer like myself. Know how your Xanax cocktail will make you react before you drop it down your throat mid-flight. Cause everything could go swell and you take a 2 hour nap, or you could end up like Selma here, shouting about getting your vagina burned off and exiting the plane on a stretcher. Jus sayin. The more you know. Also don’t try to email your doc for a quick scrip of anxiety meds just for one vacation because it doesn’t work. My sister already tried. (The same sister who went to her Pediatrician until they promptly kicked her out at age 22.) Tough stuff, lesson learned. Click here for Selma’s apology.

5. I Wanna Be That Song, Brett.

Brett’s newest music video where he’s a sexy retro baseball player is all of the swoons. ENJOY YOUR WEEKEND.

 

BONUS: PLEASE tell me Missy will come back with more than a feature in a Ghostbusters theme song by FallOut Boy. Seriously. I need the misdemeanor back in my life pronto.

 

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JUice

Weekly JUice

Week of 1/11/16

1. Brett’s drunk and sexy. 

The song is obviously a banger and the video gives the ladies what they want: double the Brett. ALSO a pure bonus is the fact that Brett’s brother makes a cameo and is equally as sexy as Brett. Two thumbs up and fine holiday fun to the Eldredge brothers. I wouldn’t mind being the meat in that sandwich. Too much? Too little? Just enough?

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2. Adele’s Got Flow

What did we learn on the latest edition of Carpool Karaoke? Adele misses her mouth just as much as I do when drinking. *Stars, they’re just like us* She’s a closet rapper. She kind of talks like Eliza Doolittle. I want to be her friend…especially if she gets drunk and hands people money. Also James has got some pipes apparently? Even Adele was impressed. PS OF COURSE IT WAS RAINING IN ENGLAND. Double PS, Posh & Nicki approve:

 

3. Oscar Noms are Accidentally(?) Racist.

Click here to see full list.

The nominations for the most boring and lengthy awards show ever have been announced and apparently it was a little heavy on the whites. I can’t comment to any of the nominations specifically because I watch movies like The Duff and have not seen one single flick in the running. However, if Leo doesn’t take home the W, we strike. (JK I’ll never strike. I’m much too obsessed with myself to ever starve the world of my opinions during awards season.) Anyway, back on topic, the lack of diversity among nominees just guarantees us some edgier and “funny because it’s true” material from host Chris Rock. Don’t let us down, Chris. Also pls try to tell inapprops jokes without swear words or else we’ll be forced to listen to the bleep button all night again like a bunch of preschoolers.

4. Chelsea Does Drugs.

Watch trailer here.

Chelsea Handler ended her talk show on E a couple years ago so that she could sign a deal with Netflix for standup and an original series, where she apparently just tries different things each episode. Unfortunately, the first one is where she literally just does drugs. I think it’s time to call it a wrap on my girl Chels. I’ve read all her books and used to religiously watch her show but like c’mon, I don’t need to see her do hallucinogens. Plus, that little nugget Chuy is nowhere to be found creepily calling her Miss Chelsea. No thanks.

5. Friends Reunion-NAHT.

Friends

It’s a REAL slow news week, and therefore I’m going to rant so hard. Hey everyone on Facebook, this is not a real Friends reunion. Some of the actors from Friends (and Will & Grace) are gathering to talk about a director and that’s that. If I see one more Buzzfeed or status about how everyone’s peeing their pants in excitement for a Friends comeback I’m going to lose my shit. Friends isn’t coming back. I want you to think long and hard about what you’ve done to not make this happen.

unagi

RIP 1D (for real this time…probably.) Remember them fondly through this music video, handpicked by the biggest directioner I know.

 

Also since I feel so bad about this week’s JUice being mud, please accept this adorable vid of dog BFF’s hugging as a consolation prize:

 

 

 

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Red Carpet, Television

CMA Awards Red Carpet 2015

I particularly love doing Country red carpets because they’re the only awards shows where the men have equally as sassy outfits, if not more eye-grabbing than their lady counterparts. Don’t eva try to hold a country man down with their loud print suits and staple headwear. So even though most of you look like you scrapped together suits from the leftovers at a seamstress, I applaud you for keeping things spicy and going there instead of sticking to a boring black tux.

WORST:

NASHVILLE, TN - NOVEMBER 04: Singer-songwriter Chase Bryant attends the 49th annual CMA Awards at the Bridgestone Arena on November 4, 2015 in Nashville, Tennessee. (Photo by John Shearer/WireImage)

Exhibit A of above rant. Shiny teal patterned jacket, chesties, and Jimmy Neutron hair. Thanks for being you, men of country.

NASHVILLE, TN - NOVEMBER 04: Karen Fairchild of Little Big Town attends the 49th annual CMA Awards at the Bridgestone Arena on November 4, 2015 in Nashville, Tennessee. (Photo by John Shearer/WireImage)

I want to like this but it looks like she’s wearing a dress with spiderwebs all over it. And I really hate spiders.

Kimberly Schlapman, of Little Big Town, arrives at the 49th annual CMA Awards at the Bridgestone Arena on Wednesday, Nov. 4, 2015, in Nashville, Tenn. (Photo by Evan Agostini/Invision/AP)

Sweet black armpit flaps.

NASHVILLE, TN - NOVEMBER 04: (L-R) Jay DeMarcus, Gary LeVox, and Joe Don Rooney of Rascal Flatts attend the 49th annual CMA Awards at the Bridgestone Arena on November 4, 2015 in Nashville, Tennessee. (Photo by Michael Loccisano/Getty Images)

Thank God one of them wore black or this would’ve been a real eye sore sitch for Rascal. Oh wait…

04 Nov 2015, Nashville, Tennessee, USA --- 04 November 2015 - Nashville, Tennessee - Kimberly Williams-Paisley. 49th CMA Awards, Country Music's Biggest Night, held at Bridgestone Arena. Photo Credit: Laura Farr/AdMedia --- Image by © Laura Farr/AdMedia/AdMedia/Corbis

Seems like maybe Kimberly bought this dress off Etsy.

NASHVILLE, TN - NOVEMBER 04: Musician Ashley Monroe attends the 49th annual CMA Awards at the Bridgestone Arena on November 4, 2015 in Nashville, Tennessee. (Photo by Jon Kopaloff/FilmMagic)

I think wrapping a hot pink twin bedsheet around my body for a toga party in college was more flattering than this.

NASHVILLE, TN - NOVEMBER 04: Musician Jason Aldean attends the 49th annual CMA Awards at the Bridgestone Arena on November 4, 2015 in Nashville, Tennessee. (Photo by John Shearer/WireImage)

Jason will probably never make my best dressed list, so I hope he’s kewl with that.

NASHVILLE, TN - NOVEMBER 04: Actress Erika Christensen attends the 49th annual CMA Awards at the Bridgestone Arena on November 4, 2015 in Nashville, Tennessee. (Photo by John Shearer/WireImage)

This is the epitome of a horrendous bridesmaids dress from 1993. Also why is Erika Christensen at the CMAs?

NASHVILLE, TN - NOVEMBER 04: Musician Steven Tyler attends the 49th annual CMA Awards at the Bridgestone Arena on November 4, 2015 in Nashville, Tennessee. (Photo by John Shearer/WireImage)

You know what would be really wild? If Steven showed up in a slick tuxedo. That would turn some heads.

NASHVILLE, TN - NOVEMBER 04: Preston Brust (L) and Chris Lucas of LoCash Cowboys attend the 49th annual CMA Awards at the Bridgestone Arena on November 4, 2015 in Nashville, Tennessee. (Photo by Michael Loccisano/Getty Images)

We have a TRUCKER HAT. I REPEAT, A TRUCKER HAT. And once you get past the shock of 2003 Ashton Kutcher, a white fedora, matching jacket combo deal.

NASHVILLE, TN - NOVEMBER 04: Singer Danielle Bradbery attends the 49th annual CMA Awards at the Bridgestone Arena on November 4, 2015 in Nashville, Tennessee. (Photo by John Shearer/WireImage)

Not really understanding this idea of sheer paneled legs. Just wear a short dress and call it a day.

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No thank you, Jennifer Nettles.

NASHVILLE, TN - NOVEMBER 04: Musician Scotty McCreery attends the 49th annual CMA Awards at the Bridgestone Arena on November 4, 2015 in Nashville, Tennessee. (Photo by Jon Kopaloff/FilmMagic)

He’s already pretty creeps and then throws on an embroidered jacket so that didn’t really help things.

NASHVILLE, TN - NOVEMBER 04: Dan Smyers and Shay Mooney of Dan + Shay attend the 49th annual CMA Awards at the Bridgestone Arena on November 4, 2015 in Nashville, Tennessee. (Photo by John Shearer/WireImage)

The hair ruins everything for me here. Gelled pompadours AREN’T cool.

NASHVILLE, TN - NOVEMBER 04: Singer Cam attends the 49th annual CMA Awards at the Bridgestone Arena on November 4, 2015 in Nashville, Tennessee. (Photo by John Shearer/WireImage)

This dress reminds me of a mix between banana peels and leaves, either way it’s too weird

BEST:

NASHVILLE, TN - NOVEMBER 04: Songwriter Kyle Jacobs and musical artist Kellie Pickler attend the 49th annual CMA Awards at the Bridgestone Arena on November 4, 2015 in Nashville, Tennessee. (Photo by Michael Loccisano/Getty Images)

This is really classy and elegant, especially for 1 out of 100 country awards. You go, grl.

NASHVILLE, TN - NOVEMBER 04: Musical duo Lennon & Maisy attend the 49th annual CMA Awards at the Bridgestone Arena on November 4, 2015 in Nashville, Tennessee. (Photo by Michael Loccisano/Getty Images)

Why couldn’t the Conrad sisters perform? THAT would be must-see TV.

NASHVILLE, TN - NOVEMBER 04: Singer-songwriter Kacey Musgraves attends the 49th annual CMA Awards at the Bridgestone Arena on November 4, 2015 in Nashville, Tennessee. (Photo by Michael Loccisano/Getty Images)

Kacey threw me a curveball tonight. No arts and crafts accessories, no beehive hairstyle, she just looks pretty.

NASHVILLE, TN - NOVEMBER 04: John Osborne and T.J. Osborne of Brothers Osborne attend the 49th annual CMA Awards at the Bridgestone Arena on November 4, 2015 in Nashville, Tennessee. (Photo by Michael Loccisano/Getty Images)

Beard’s got a weird jacket vibe going on but leather jacket Osborne is doing all sorts of things for me.

NASHVILLE, TN - NOVEMBER 04: Singer-songwriter Lee Ann Womack attends the 49th annual CMA Awards at the Bridgestone Arena on November 4, 2015 in Nashville, Tennessee. (Photo by Michael Loccisano/Getty Images)

LeAnn with a sassy little frock. Showing Carrie she’s not the only country singer with stems!

04 November 2015 - Nashville, Tennessee - Thomas Rhett, Lauren Gregory. 49th CMA Awards, Country Music's Biggest Night, held at Bridgestone Arena. Photo Credit: Laura Farr/AdMedia

Thomas Rhett was out shined by his smokeshow wife and her dress that I’m obsessed with.

NASHVILLE, TN - NOVEMBER 04: Singer Miranda Lambert attends the 49th annual CMA Awards at the Bridgestone Arena on November 4, 2015 in Nashville, Tennessee. (Photo by Michael Loccisano/Getty Images)

What do you do when you’re about to see your ex-husband in front of the cameras for the first time? Dye your hair pink, duh.

NASHVILLE, TN - NOVEMBER 04: Singer-songwriter Sam Hunt attends the 49th annual CMA Awards at the Bridgestone Arena on November 4, 2015 in Nashville, Tennessee. (Photo by John Shearer/WireImage)

A fall-influenced suit. Hell yeah.

NASHVILLE, TN - NOVEMBER 04: Singer-songwriter Cole Swindell attends the 49th annual CMA Awards at the Bridgestone Arena on November 4, 2015 in Nashville, Tennessee. (Photo by John Shearer/WireImage)

I’m willing to overlook the baseball cap for this spicy burgundy suit on Cole.

NASHVILLE, TN - NOVEMBER 04: Model Hannah Davis attends the 49th annual CMA Awards at the Bridgestone Arena on November 4, 2015 in Nashville, Tennessee. (Photo by John Shearer/WireImage)

Slow whistle for the future Mrs. Jeter. Hot diggity damn.

Justin Timberlake arrives at the 49th annual CMA Awards at the Bridgestone Arena on Wednesday, Nov. 4, 2015, in Nashville, Tenn. (Photo by Evan Agostini/Invision/AP)

Everyone knows all JT needs to do is show up and he makes my best dressed list. Shameless.

NASHVILLE, TN - NOVEMBER 04: Recording artist Luke Bryan attends the 49th annual CMA Awards at the Bridgestone Arena on November 4, 2015 in Nashville, Tennessee. (Photo by John Shearer/WireImage)

Luke never fails to dazzle me but all I need from his is a white tee and baseball cap.

NASHVILLE, TN - NOVEMBER 04: Recording artist Brett Eldredge attends the 49th annual CMA Awards at the Bridgestone Arena on November 4, 2015 in Nashville, Tennessee. (Photo by Michael Loccisano/Getty Images)

My boo.

NASHVILLE, TN - NOVEMBER 04: Actor Riley Smith attends the 49th annual CMA Awards at the Bridgestone Arena on November 4, 2015 in Nashville, Tennessee. (Photo by Michael Loccisano/Getty Images)

Latest installment of “if you guest star on Nashville you get an invite to the CMA’s.” I don’t hate it. More Riley Smith for me!

NASHVILLE, TN - NOVEMBER 04: Recording artist Darius Rucker attends the 49th annual CMA Awards at the Bridgestone Arena on November 4, 2015 in Nashville, Tennessee. (Photo by John Shearer/WireImage)

I may hate Hootie gone country but I can respect tha hell outta this bloutfit.

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I can get all down with this salsa number.

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Didn’t get enough hot pink tonight and I like this one a lot. David Nail you look nice as well.

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All because two people fell in love…they get invites to every Hollywood event ever. All in on Shawn’s suit, hard pass on Kaitlyn’s dress. I’ve seen a bajillion better outfits on her.

NASHVILLE, TN - NOVEMBER 04: Musical duo Shawna Thompson and Keifer Thompson of Thompson Square attend the 49th annual CMA Awards at the Bridgestone Arena on November 4, 2015 in Nashville, Tennessee. (Photo by Michael Loccisano/Getty Images)

Thompson Square looking glam city.

NASHVILLE, TN - NOVEMBER 04: Singer-songwriter Cassadee Pope attends the 49th annual CMA Awards at the Bridgestone Arena on November 4, 2015 in Nashville, Tennessee. (Photo by John Shearer/WireImage)

Usually the one sleeve thing is a little jarring but I’m alright with this scandal.

04 November 2015 - Nashville, Tennessee - Jana Kramer, Mike Caussin. 49th CMA Awards, Country Music's Biggest Night, held at Bridgestone Arena. Photo Credit: Laura Farr/AdMedia *** Please Use Credit from Credit Field ***

If you follow Jana on insta, you would know she’s preggers because she makes sure to directly comment on her bump in every post so it makes perfect sense that her hand is essentially glued to her baby belly on the red carpet. Also fist bump for putting the pregnancy rack on display.

NASHVILLE, TN - NOVEMBER 04: Singer-songwriter Kelsea Ballerini attends the 49th annual CMA Awards at the Bridgestone Arena on November 4, 2015 in Nashville, Tennessee. (Photo by John Shearer/WireImage)

Princess Kelsea. Glad she made it to the CMA’s this year because her songs are fire flames and she’s a little cutie.

NASHVILLE, TN - NOVEMBER 04: Singer-songwriter Dustin Lynch attends the 49th annual CMA Awards at the Bridgestone Arena on November 4, 2015 in Nashville, Tennessee. (Photo by John Shearer/WireImage)

Ignore the stupid pose, ignore the stupid pose.

Kimberly Perry, of The Band Perry, arrives at the 49th annual CMA Awards at the Bridgestone Arena on Wednesday, Nov. 4, 2015, in Nashville, Tenn. (Photo by Evan Agostini/Invision/AP)

The Sleek Perry

NASHVILLE, TN - NOVEMBER 04: Singer-songwriter Tyler Farr attends the 49th annual CMA Awards at the Bridgestone Arena on November 4, 2015 in Nashville, Tennessee. (Photo by John Shearer/WireImage)

I love this peacoat material jacket. Sophisticated AND trendy.

Reid Perry, of The Band Perry, arrive at the 49th annual CMA Awards at the Bridgestone Arena on Wednesday, Nov. 4, 2015, in Nashville, Tenn. (Photo by Evan Agostini/Invision/AP)

I laughed out loud when I saw Perry Bro 1 with his messy bun and realized this is EXACTLY what my hair looks like when I toss it up at the end of the day. Not sure if that’s a commentary on me or him.

Fave Look of the Night:

November 4, 2015 Nashville, Tn. Carrie Underwood 49th Annual Country Music Association Awards held at the Bridgestone Arena © Curtis Hilbun / AFF-USA.COM

She may have 12 outfit changes throughout the evening but her red carpet look did it for me.

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Pop Culture

Celeb-oween 2015

Celebs, they’re just like us…sometimes they have really dumb, unoriginal halloween costumes…and when they do, I point and laugh at them. I will applaud the fact that no one slipped up and did black face this year. They just might be learning!

WORST

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Haute couture skeleton @alexfaction

A post shared by Jennifer Lopez (@jlo) on

I think this would have been okay had J.Lo not taken a typical costume and called it haute couture like a bougie betch.

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👻

A post shared by Lauren Conrad (@laurenconrad) on

I’m not sure what’s going on here, is this just a child from my nightmares?

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I think I nailed the Kim K costume! 🕸👻🕷

A post shared by Kim Kardashian West (@kimkardashian) on

What does the biggest attention whore in America dress as for Halloween? Herself, obviously.

I will absolutely NOT support Let it Go for one more second. Even if she does look like an adorbz little Olaf.

johnstamos

Devil’s Threesome.

peanuts today shwo

The Today Show tried to be cutesicle….

 carson willie matt

Except replicating a cartoon in real life can actually turn into a pretty scary sitch for all involved. Also OF COURSE Matt Lauer cross-dressed.

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Trump thrives off of this shit.

Tyra Banks Richard Branson

Tyra Banks as Richard Branson. Why?

kylieninja

Did Kylie even know it was Halloween? OHHHHH BURNNNN.

tbrady

Gisele and Tom Brady putting giant skeleton bobble heads on with a regular outfit is lazy and lame.

heidiklum

HEIDI KLUM MUST BE STOPPED. DO SO SO SO SO SO MUCH LESS.

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Katy Perry as a mic drop. This is actually a clever idea until you have to reenact it 100 times for people to get it and then you have a concussion.

hilhil

I know Hil can do much better than a basic betch black cat.

paris

Right, so this is what warriors look like?

nickjonas

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. Shirtless costumes only in the future, pls.

BEST

Anne looking pastel puuurfect as a unicorn.

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Coming to America🎃

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HOW SASSY IS BLUE THOUGH?!

The classiest woodland creatures I ever did see.

Mario Lopez’s kid is the cutest little smush and they nailed Elvis & Elvis Jr.

Allison looks EXACTLY like Belle.

Authentic shit, right down to the climbing. If Shawn was my fiance I’d climb him like a tree too.

I’m embarrassed that I went as Sandy last year because Gigi swept through this year and took a big dump on my version of bada$$ Sandra Dee.

Sophia Bush perfecting Pulp Fiction

The possibly engaged couple as polar opposites. Mesmerized by Jeets’ face as the devil.

Lebron going as Prince and taking the stage for an impromptu show seems really out of character for him.

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Girls’ already got one hell of a mane.

Not as good as last years caveman in the flesh but still pretty great.

Hot damn! 2000’s Jess is making a comeback.

kardashsuperhero

I just wanna snatch P right up. I won’t…but I want to.

coltonhaynes

This is Colton Haynes. He doesn’t normally look like this. Respect tha hustle here for transforming into the largest and most disgusting creature in Disney villain history.

ninadobrev

Nina Dobrev bitch facing as Posh.

yonce

Don’t you ever cross Queen Bey or she’ll come at you like this.

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kellyripa

Kelly Ripa’s got a knack for pop culture costumes, IMO.

michael strahan

Michael Strahan as Cookie. FIERCE.

joshduhamel

Josh Duhamel with a gap tooth.

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I’m always pro-T.Swift costume.

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GMA hosts Robin Roberts & TJ Holmes take on the Lyons.

AishaTylerYonce

Bionic hand seals the deal for Aisha Tyler

miranda

Miranda Lambert and co. as the Rockford Peaches. Where Marla Hooch at?

ellen kardashian

Ellen DeGeneres created her own character, Karla Kardashian, who is the reject of the clan and only wears hand-me-downs. Bonus points for originality although we know how I feel about drawing more attention to the Kardash fam.

therock

This seems like an approps costume for someone who naturally has gunz on gunz.

sarahyland

If you have a hot bod like Sarah Hyland it should be mandatory that you go leather bodysuit for Halloween.

jalba

Always jelly of celebs who can get their hands on legit wardrobe for pop culture costumes.

ginarodriguez

Gina Rodriguez shows off cute and cozy.

demi

YAASSSSS TRAP QUEEN.

pink

Pink looks exactly like lil Drew Barrymore.

nicolerichie

Nicole Richie doing up the Nightmare before Christmas creeperoni.

nph

NPH is the family costume magician every year.

channingjenna

His and hers cat in the hats for one of my fave couples

chrissy

Chrissy Teigen as Guy Fieri is perfect and gave her an excuse to do douchey things. I’m all for a costume that lets you get away with being a more obnoxious individual.

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Playlist

Summer Palooza 2k13

Soak in the last few weeks of summer weather by kicking it back to 2013 where we were clearly in a heavy country phase. It’s fine though because it’s impossible to have the end of the summer scaries while singing about beer, cutoffs and tanlines.

Summer Jam- Jake Owen Ft. Florida Georgia Line. This song was made for summer palooza…plus there’s not a more flattering compliment than telling a chick that she’s sweeter than your sweet nanny’s lemonade.

It Goes Like This- Thomas Rhett. What a country doll Thomas is, writing songs to get girls. He obviously knows how to get tail.

Back Together- Jesse McCartney. We can all laugh it up reminiscing Jesse’s days in Dreamstreet or serenading us with Beautiful Soul but boy has GROWN UP. This was a comeback after he’d disappeared for a minute and it’s a real sassy number. Whiny kid from Summerland NO MORE!

That’s My Kinda Night- Luke Bryan. Luke does his best work when he throws down booty-shakin songs and this is one of his greatest. My kind of night is any one where I can see Luke switch his hat backward and swivel his hips, if anyone’s asking.

Brave- Sara Bareilles. Here’s an obligatory girl power song that also happened to sound almost exactly like a Katy Perry song except Katy can kick rocks because this one is way better. I just admitted that because I’m saying what I want to say…I’m being brave just like Sara told me to.

I Hope It Rains- Jana Kramer. I think this Jana song was pre-One Tree Hill in her Alex Dupre days so it’s not as saucy as when she was trying to steal Julian from Brooke Davis. Anyway, known to go down the aisle a time or two, Jana sings about an ex getting married and hoping his wedding day is ruined by a monsoon.

Blurred Lines- Robin Thicke Ft. Pharell. Hey remember when this song was the tits (literally…have you seen the video?) and then suddenly it got a lot of heat for promoting rape culture—oopsie! Either way it’s pretty catchy, sue me.

I Want Crazy- Hunter Hayes. Lil baby Hunter doesn’t want a vanilla relationship, he wants crazy love and I’m thinking maybe he should wait until he’s a little older and no longer has a curfew for such mature relationships. Has he even graduated high school yet? Anyway, I was really proud of the day I finally nailed these lyrics, it was right around the end of summer. I worked really hard.

Rebel Beat- Goo Goo Dolls. The Goo Goo Dolls went away for like a casual 10 years and got a whole lot older but when they came back they were better than ever. This song has a nice hipster vibe to it to show they aren’t stuck in the 90’s and it’s super fun.

Wasting All These Tears- Cassadee Pope. Cassadee’s a The Voice one hit wonder and this is a nice power ballad for post break up times or just like a really good car concert.

Whatever She’s Got- David Nail. This song was probably written about me cause guys are always in awe of my lethal combo of hotness and personality.

Best I Ever Had- Gavin DeGraw. Gavin went for a different sound with this one and it’s a real upbeat clapper, plus he shouts out a bunch of states in the middle of it randomly. He skips New York…I’ll have to forgive him for his obvious misstep.

Don’t Ya- Brett Eldredge. Brett’s first single before he was my future husband! Oh how far he’s come. Obviously it’s a banger because that’s all he releases.

Take Back the Night- Justin Timberlake. JT can do no wrong, even when he uses a slogan for rape victims as a song title. He simply tips his fedora and moonwalks away.

Round Here- Florida Georgia Line. FGL hit a hot streak with their first album and then they wore one too many barf.com vests in public and suddenly their songs weren’t as cool. This one covers all the basics though, fireball and dancing.

Gone, Gone, Gone- Phillip Phillips. What a beautiful love song from dubz Phil. What ever happened to him?

Counting Stars- OneRepublic. Ryan Tedder is always good for tunes, whether they’re his own or with others (cough cough I know places with Taylor Swift) and this one is no different.

Still Into You- Paramore. Sometimes I just like to remember the time when I thought I was punk rock because I watched the Ashlee Simpson show and Paramore always helps me do that. Girl changes her hair color to a different abrasive shade of red every 10 minutes but she knows angsty pop like nobody’s biz.

White Houses- Vanessa Carlton. He’s just so funny in his bright red shirt. Vanessa drops a HUGE clue in this one for any future suitors…just be funny and you’ve got a one way ticket into her pants.

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