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Emmys Red Carpet 2021

Is it too soon to say we’re back? Cause I *THINK* we’re finally back with awards shows. Hopefully no more Zoom awards or 15 locations or celebrities pretending they wear masks or socially distance or WUTEVER. If you’ll recall this time last year we were judging people’s pajamas from their laptop screen grabs. It was […]

Met Gala Red Carpet 2021

Well this was a little unexpected to say the least! The Met Gala traditionally takes place in May and when I saw rumblings of it yesterday I had just assumed that they announced the theme or something. We just had the VMA’s the night before (we meaning not me because I finally learned my lesson […]

Weekly JUice

Week of 9/7/2021 1. Olivia is a total H-Dubb.* * Important to note that for a short period of time in high school, whenever we heard of some teenage hussy breaking up an already probably short-lived couple, we called that hussy an H-Dubb which was shorthand for homewrecker. Natch, there were no homes being wrecked […]

Moving Still Sucks Balls

On day 2 of what was supposed to be a one day move, I was wide awake at 3 in the morning on a mattress covered in plastic, with a blanket and a couch pillow, sweating my life away and I opened the Notes app in my phone and typed β€œMoving Still Sucks Balls,” a […]

Weekly JUice

Week of 7/26/2021 Sit Down, Bennifer. JLo turned 52 over the weekend and decided to gift the world with the very first public PDA declaration of Bennifer 2.0. And obviously I didn’t handle well. If you need a quick refresher on how I feel about this “relationship”, please rewind back to this rant. To be […]

John Mayer – Sob Rock

Keeping things spicy over here by introducing a new artist to the classic Salty Ju feature where I recap an album track by track and relate every song back to my own personal experiences. And then I judge those songs based on absolutely 0 musical expertise. JOIN ME, WHY DON’T YA?! It’s John Mayer’s first […]

Ripe and Ready to Be Scammed

Now that I am gainfully employed, I can publish deets about the long and treacherous job search that I hesitated to publish before for fear that it would somehow make me un-hireable. But JOKE’S ON YOU, cause I’ve proven to be hireable AF and now I’m going to use this mouth of mine to megaphone […]

Weekly JUice

Week of 6/21/2021 #FreeBritney IN case you didn’t hear, Britney finally piped up at trial this week, begging to end her conservatorship. If I HAD to guess, I’d say she’s pretty sick of everyone else in the world speaking for her and decided it was TIME. I don’t want to credit her bravery directly to […]

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