Recaps of Nashville, Season 4
Nashville-“Maybe You’ll Appreciate Me Someday”
(Ehhh…probably not.) OH BOY. We are finished. The series of Nashville is dunzo (until they grovel so hard for a spot on Hulu and I pretend it no longer exists.) I counted down the minutes this episode, urging everyone to get their shit together by the very last frame. And they did. Sort of. Let’s…
Nashville “It’s Sure Gonna Hurt”
The time has come. ABC has spoken and Nashville is dunzo. IT’S ALL OVER CLAP CLAP CLAPCLAPCLAP. Okay sorry. If that sounded celebratory it’s because it 100% WAS. When your show goes off the rails, has storylines a monkey could write and becomes a chore to watch, it’s time to get the ax and I’m…
Nashville- “After You’ve Gone”
What a sad, sad montage to kick off this week’s episode. Rayna’s onstage crooning while an orange-vested Deacon scrubs graffiti off of a concrete wall. #JUXTAPOSITION. Oh, and Maddie does her best sexy flirty pout while Cash stage-moms it up from the side. Although it may look like she’s practicing her I’m innocent while also…
Nashville- “The Trouble with the Truth”
Everyone sucked this week. Cash and Frankie sucked for being the worst characters ever, Maddie sucked for taking insufferable teen to an all-time peak, and Deacon sucked for having no self control over his hulk-like tendencies. But first, and most hilariously, Juliette is nominated for an Oscar and now we KNOW we’re watching fictional television.…
Nashville- “Baby Come Home”
I realize this is almost a week late and I would apologize but I took all of last week off from blogging because I decided that I deserved it. On the bright side, I was vacationing in Nashville for the better part of last week and therefore we can count it as research. To…
Nashville- “Didn’t Expect It To Go Down This Way”
Since I definitely lost sleep over whether or not our new minor character that’s only been in like 2 episodes is okay, let’s get this right out of the way. Riff told his wife he’ll be home when he’s “good and ready”, which is a mature adult thing to do. Then he’s admitted to a…
Nashville- “When There’s A Fire In Your Heart”
So it looks like our new faux country star Autumn Chase may hang around for more than one episode and whoopsie, secret’s out, she’s kind of a Twat. Within the first five minutes on tour, The Exes watch her fire a roadie in front of everyone. But in the NICEST way possible. She’s all we’re…
Nashville- “What I Cannot Change”
It’s the moment we’ve all been waiting for…Juliette’s back from post-partum rehab (fictionally and IRL) and she’s here to STAY. Maybe? Upon her homecoming she is offered a part in a Spielberg movie that films in Prague. Yeah, ok. Subpar country singer who’s known for being a real diva then disappears for two months gets…
Nashville- “If I Could Do It All Again”
As if it wasn’t enough that Vita and Riff were tossed into the Nashville mix last week, get yourself ready for a one episode appearance of Sienna. COME ON WITH THESE NAMES. Sienna is a single mommy who salivates over Avery at the park and they go on a date and make out a little…
Nashville- “How Does It Feel To Be Free”
Rayna and Deacon are supposedly country royalty, with I would assume quite a large net worth (more than Luke Wheeler, heyyooo) and yet they still didn’t honeymoon after their top-secret barn wedding? What kind of bullshit is this? These two couldn’t jet away from the paps and their whiny daughters for a couple of weeks…
Nashville- “Forever and For Always”
Real talk, this could’ve been the series finale. (I wish it were.) There’s no better and more perfect ending than the long-awaited country wedding for Deacon and Rayna. Four years in the making, the wedding was not without a liiiiittle drama but in the end everything was adorbsicles. All smooching drama with Markus Keen is…
Nashville- “We’ve Got Nothing But Love To Prove”
Well as far as fall finales go…that was…boring. I mean, Deacon and Rayna are engaged (FINALLY!) and Will got a HEARTY thigh graze from Wade Cole. But other than that? Avery leads the anti-Juliette brigade and by way of association, Anti-Emily. Yes that’s right, the woman who has essentially been Avery’s live-in bitch since Juliette…
Nashville- “Three’s A Crowd”
I was hoping this was the winter finale but unfortunately we have one more week before we get a well-deserved break from the depraved lives of the sad sacks of Nashville. This week, Colt took a page out of Maddie’s bitch teen book and really amped up the LIFE ISN’T FAIR and I HATE YOU’s…
Nashville- “Unguarded Moments”
I forgot for a while how much I hated Maddie. She was still acting like a whiny teenage turd but she was doing it by having rebellious sex and hitting the stage instead of throwing huffy tantrums and crying about how life was unfair. But alas, Maddie the insufferable teen is back and dominates last…
Nashville- “Can’t Get Used to Losing You”
In the event that you forgot or are still in shock to remember, Jeff Fordham tumbled to his plot twist death a couple weeks ago. Something tells me his ghost won’t be slithering around Nashville for episodes to come unwelcome like Bev’s did. That something is his blooming TV career, but who am I to…
Nashville- “Please Help Me, I’m Fallin”
Nothing is more telling for Nashville fans than the dramatic announcer throwing out a tease before an episode begins. “TONIGHT will Juliette FALL to her DEATH?” Well, man who probably gets paid $40 an hour to record questions anyone with half a brain already know the answer to, I’m gonna guess if Nashville kills off…
Nashville- “Stop the World (And Let Me Off)”
Last week Juliette asked a probably unlicensed doctor to show up at her hotel room and shoot her up with illegal drugs and as you might have predicted, she comes to looking like a bag of assholes. Apparently looking at her roughsicle face in the mirror is enough of a scare tactic to whip her…
Nashville- “The Slender Threads That Bind Us Here”
I think that if I had slept through that hour of television I still could have adequately provided this recap just from last week’s previews. In fact, I kind of wish I did. We carry on with this “let’s be sad about Bev” business by opening up on her funeral. What’s vital to dwell on…
Nashville- “How Can I Help You Say Goodbye”
All right, let’s not dance around it. This episode was a total downer. We’re forced to care about Bev’s life even though the vast majority of her existence on this show has been acidic. On top of that we’re on week I’ve lost count of Juliette’s downward family-hating spiral and it’s clear that this will…
Nashville- “Til The Pain Outweighs the Shame”
Last night’s episode should have been called “How Rayna Got Her Groove Back.” It starts out somewhat dreary when Deacon would rather hang out with a half-conscious Bev than bang, bang, bangity bang his fiancé and then a random old man we’ve never heard of before drops out of Highway 65. But Rayna does not…
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