Pop Culture, Uncategorized

Celeb-oween 2016

As per tradish, here’s a rundown of all the celeb costumes I could find — from offensive, to naked and everything in between. And of course, the winner of this year’s “accidentally racist” costume that they immediately needed to issue an apology for is…….

Casamigos Tequila Halloween Party

YIKES. Outta left field with that one! Didn’t expect sweet ole Hil (who dressed as a basic bitch black cat last year) to fall for this trap.

Also to be clear, every gossip site who described her getup as a “sexy pilgrim” costume should also be issuing apologies because there is nothing sexy about a pilgrim.

Miss Piggy & Kermit. My OG @allymaki

A post shared by Colton Haynes-Leatham (@coltonlhaynes) on

Colton Haynes has been creepin up on Heidi Klum as Halloween extraordinare but enough is enough. I understand that Miss Piggy as a character is a slutty pig, but that doesn’t mean we need to see her naked, playboy style. TOO FAR, COLTON.

Ok last one I promise 🦄🦄🦄🦄

A post shared by Jenna Dewan Tatum (@jennadewan) on

This year’s unicorn costume SLAAAYYYYY.

Happy Halloween from Siegfried & Roy 🐯🐯

A post shared by Nicole Richie (@nicolerichie) on

Enough time has passed since the incident for this to be ok. Hil, take notes. Getting mauled by a tiger? Give it some time and then ease back into it. Native Americans, on the other hand? Always a no.

No clue what this is supposed to be.

Hey what’re you dressed as tonight? Fairy Queen of the Swamp.

Tinkerbell is a spunky one ✨💫✨

A post shared by Candace Cameron Bure (@candacecbure) on

What a perfect costume for CCB. Prayers to whoever is rocking those giant feet next to her.

Last night we morphed into a country band. #yugecountryguys

A post shared by Kaitlyn Bristowe (@kaitlynbristowe) on

My fave couple killing it power ranger style.

About last night 🤘🏻#CasamigosHalloween

A post shared by Cindy Crawford (@cindycrawford) on

Fam Goalz.

Jellybean reload for Tum Tum #FirstWeFeastThenWeFelony #3Ninjas

A post shared by Glen Powell (@glenpowell) on

Creep like a Ninja

A post shared by Glen Powell (@glenpowell) on

Glen Powell, better known as Chad Radwell with my favorite costume of the year. HI-YAHHHH.

Always a good time to throw it back to Alfalfa.

Whoa.

Scott rides again Resist him if you dare

A post shared by Scout laRue Willis (@scoutlaruewillis) on

WTF IS THIS?! I’ve never wanted to unsee something more.

have you ever seen a more "why me?" face 😭

A post shared by chrissy teigen (@chrissyteigen) on

Needs more flair

A post shared by chrissy teigen (@chrissyteigen) on

.@caseypattersontv and the team at #lipsyncbattle sent an entire scene 😂😂😂 I love you guys so much

A post shared by chrissy teigen (@chrissyteigen) on

Baby Luna CRUSHED Halloween. See Chrissy’s insta for no less than 1000 pictures of the little nugget modeling different costumes.

Speaking of nuggets, here’s ole smooth moves over here as Marty McFly.

📽🎞Hooray for Halloween!🎞📽#Marilyn #Groucho #Chaplin #JamesDean @dbelicious

A post shared by Neil Patrick Harris (@nph) on

As always, winners of the fam costume.

 

ariel-winter3

And so we begin the “friendly” portion of Halloween. Playboy bunny from someone who I wouldn’t be surprised to see a sex tape from in 2017.

bellathorne

You know how cowgirls love to wear their lingerie with a bedazzled belt over it.

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I’m not following on this number for Julianne Hough.

SHE WORE THIS WITH HER CHILDREN. THEY ARE OLD ENOUGH TO KNOW HOW RIDICULOUS THIS IS.

xtina

I’m torn here. This is so spot on but like also tone it down with the skankwad costumes every year, girl.

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Thanks for showing us your nips.

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Ah yes, of course. “Santa”. If Santa had never seen a cookie in his life and also wore sparkly hot pants.

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It felt right to follow up the sexy anything segment of this blog with Mindy’s Cap Sully costume. Which of course, is the opposite of sexy.

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BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOK!

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Bey & Blue in an ode to Salt n Pepa

Celebrities attend Kate Hudsons annual Halloween Party in Los Angeles

Katy Perry upgrading from the time she dressed as a literal cheeto, to full-on Hil. Not sure why Orlando Bloom is Trump instead of Slick Willy. Pretty weird coups costume dynamic.

Casamigos Tequila Halloween Party

LC Queen of DIY Halloween with another banger.

"Matthew Morrison hosts his 7th Annual Halloween-Birthday Party Presented by Freixenet Cava and Podwall Entertainment at Hyde, Los Angeles"

Nina Dobrev’s “I’m a complete dope” face really completes this costume.

Casamigos Tequila Halloween Party

Real life Ryan Lochte went for terrifying this year.

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Is this a real rabbit because it is creepy AF.

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Zach Braff looks like a babe soda

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Stranger Things from Amy & her hot boyf. Truth bomb, that hairstyle doesn’t look unrealistic with Amy’s face.

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Only time will tell if everyone gets outraged at Kelly for dressing up as Beyonce. Seems like a touchy subject lately. Cough cough, Amy Schumer.

gma

Hard pass to Michael Strahan as Pikachu.

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Well this is, interesting.

leo

LEO! WHY COVER THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE OF YOURS?!

carsondaly

Nothin’ quite like dressing up as your younger self and realizing how old you are.

demi-nick

Demi looks like a dime.

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Today Show tackled the 90’s, which of course I approve.

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Is this the first year Matt has dressed as a male character?

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Even the Today Show pup is killin it.

tamron

Seems a little early in the morning for a hooker costume, but whatevs.

roker

Did I doooooo thaaaaaattt?

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I cannot and will not stop laughing at Kathie’s Reg face.

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Jenna Bush mailing it in and “dressing up” as her Grandma.

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Ellen and a very low key Heidi Klum as Sia and Maddie. Tough look to have multiple Sia’s in the daytime TV world.

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I already posted a solo shot of Candace as Tink, but it’s necessary to look at the whole cast of The View. Did they not learn ANYTHING from Today Show’s abomination of Peanuts last year? CARTOONS DON’T WORK IRL. This is what nightmares are made of.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN.

End of the day update (since I guess people actually dress up ON Halloween…whatever.)

Let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel. #HappyHalloween

A post shared by Shawn Booth (@shawn_booth18) on

WAY better than the power rangers. Cause, Doodle.

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We get it, Mario. You’re ripped.

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Enough with the Trolls. The movie isn’t even out yet and JT’s been hawking it since May. Also, those feet.

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Saw a lot of Lochte but didn’t see any Phelps face and I ‘preciate this. Gabby on the other hand is SO four years ago.

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It’s not fair.

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Do better Tay. I mean, I get that you’re bragging that you know Ryan Reynolds by wearing the actual costume, but also the squad can do better than a bunch of basic costumes. Especially when you’re all rich AF.

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Channing COULD NEVER be the beast.

A post shared by Beyoncé (@beyonce) on

Barbie dreams come true. But that second Insta Blue is CLEARLY like ok enough pics let’s go get some G-D candy now.

And for the big reveal…Heidi Klum’s infamous costume this year that she built up for FAR TOO LONG is

Taking a page out of Kimmy K’s book from last year, Heidi dressed up as herself then took it one step further and dressed up 5 other women like herself, complete with face prosthetics. Kewl.

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Pop Culture

Celeb-oween 2015

Celebs, they’re just like us…sometimes they have really dumb, unoriginal halloween costumes…and when they do, I point and laugh at them. I will applaud the fact that no one slipped up and did black face this year. They just might be learning!

WORST

Haute couture skeleton @alexfaction

A post shared by Jennifer Lopez (@jlo) on

I think this would have been okay had J.Lo not taken a typical costume and called it haute couture like a bougie betch.

👻

A post shared by Lauren Conrad (@laurenconrad) on

I’m not sure what’s going on here, is this just a child from my nightmares?

I think I nailed the Kim K costume! 🕸👻🕷

A post shared by Kim Kardashian West (@kimkardashian) on

What does the biggest attention whore in America dress as for Halloween? Herself, obviously.

I will absolutely NOT support Let it Go for one more second. Even if she does look like an adorbz little Olaf.

johnstamos

Devil’s Threesome.

peanuts today shwo

The Today Show tried to be cutesicle….

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Except replicating a cartoon in real life can actually turn into a pretty scary sitch for all involved. Also OF COURSE Matt Lauer cross-dressed.

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Trump thrives off of this shit.

Tyra Banks Richard Branson

Tyra Banks as Richard Branson. Why?

kylieninja

Did Kylie even know it was Halloween? OHHHHH BURNNNN.

tbrady

Gisele and Tom Brady putting giant skeleton bobble heads on with a regular outfit is lazy and lame.

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HEIDI KLUM MUST BE STOPPED. DO SO SO SO SO SO MUCH LESS.

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Katy Perry as a mic drop. This is actually a clever idea until you have to reenact it 100 times for people to get it and then you have a concussion.

hilhil

I know Hil can do much better than a basic betch black cat.

paris

Right, so this is what warriors look like?

nickjonas

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. Shirtless costumes only in the future, pls.

BEST

Boo! Thanks for the awesome night @ninadobrev and the gang 🎃👻🎃👻🎃👻🎃

A post shared by Anne Hathaway (@annehathaway) on

Anne looking pastel puuurfect as a unicorn.

Coming to America🎃

A post shared by Beyoncé (@beyonce) on

HOW SASSY IS BLUE THOUGH?!

So excited to be a bunch of "Party Animals" this Halloween!! Head on over to laurenconrad.com for tutorials!

A post shared by Lauren Conrad (@laurenconrad) on

The classiest woodland creatures I ever did see.

Elvis & Mini-Elvis are hosting @ExtraTV today… #ThankyouThankYouVeryMuch #LopezBoys #Halloween

A post shared by Mario Lopez (@mariolopezextra) on

Mario Lopez’s kid is the cutest little smush and they nailed Elvis & Elvis Jr.

Ugh Belle I've been telling you to get a damn Kindle. #SubwayStyle #HappyHalloween

A post shared by Allison Williams (@aw) on

Allison looks EXACTLY like Belle.

When you're Curious George for Halloween, you ask your spray tan lady to give you the Nutella glow #HappyHalloween #Boothstowes

A post shared by Kaitlyn Bristowe (@kaitlynbristowe) on

Authentic shit, right down to the climbing. If Shawn was my fiance I’d climb him like a tree too.

TELL ME ABOUT IT, STUD. 🕶⚡️ (@jennifer_yepez @monicarosestyle & @erinparsonsmakeup are the real MVPs)

A post shared by Gigi Hadid (@gigihadid) on

I’m embarrassed that I went as Sandy last year because Gigi swept through this year and took a big dump on my version of bada$$ Sandra Dee.

"Besides, isn't it more exciting when you don't have permission?" ~ Mia Wallace 💉#PulpFiction #UmaForever

A post shared by Sophia Bush (@sophiabush) on

Sophia Bush perfecting Pulp Fiction

Finally ready. Michigan won! Thanks @theartistsg for my devil ha!

A post shared by Hannah Jeter (@hannahbjeter) on

The possibly engaged couple as polar opposites. Mesmerized by Jeets’ face as the devil.

Lebron going as Prince and taking the stage for an impromptu show seems really out of character for him.

🦁

A post shared by tori kelly (@torikelly) on

Girls’ already got one hell of a mane.

BUDDY THE ELF drank a lot of maple syrup last night! Watch my CHAT SNAP TO SEE HIM IN ACTION

A post shared by Brett Eldredge (@bretteldredge) on

Not as good as last years caveman in the flesh but still pretty great.

Griswold and Brinkley #HappyHalloween 📷by @kristingram

A post shared by Jessica Simpson (@jessicasimpson) on

Hot damn! 2000’s Jess is making a comeback.

kardashsuperhero

I just wanna snatch P right up. I won’t…but I want to.

coltonhaynes

This is Colton Haynes. He doesn’t normally look like this. Respect tha hustle here for transforming into the largest and most disgusting creature in Disney villain history.

ninadobrev

Nina Dobrev bitch facing as Posh.

yonce

Don’t you ever cross Queen Bey or she’ll come at you like this.

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kellyripa

Kelly Ripa’s got a knack for pop culture costumes, IMO.

michael strahan

Michael Strahan as Cookie. FIERCE.

joshduhamel

Josh Duhamel with a gap tooth.

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I’m always pro-T.Swift costume.

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GMA hosts Robin Roberts & TJ Holmes take on the Lyons.

AishaTylerYonce

Bionic hand seals the deal for Aisha Tyler

miranda

Miranda Lambert and co. as the Rockford Peaches. Where Marla Hooch at?

ellen kardashian

Ellen DeGeneres created her own character, Karla Kardashian, who is the reject of the clan and only wears hand-me-downs. Bonus points for originality although we know how I feel about drawing more attention to the Kardash fam.

therock

This seems like an approps costume for someone who naturally has gunz on gunz.

sarahyland

If you have a hot bod like Sarah Hyland it should be mandatory that you go leather bodysuit for Halloween.

jalba

Always jelly of celebs who can get their hands on legit wardrobe for pop culture costumes.

ginarodriguez

Gina Rodriguez shows off cute and cozy.

demi

YAASSSSS TRAP QUEEN.

pink

Pink looks exactly like lil Drew Barrymore.

nicolerichie

Nicole Richie doing up the Nightmare before Christmas creeperoni.

nph

NPH is the family costume magician every year.

channingjenna

His and hers cat in the hats for one of my fave couples

chrissy

Chrissy Teigen as Guy Fieri is perfect and gave her an excuse to do douchey things. I’m all for a costume that lets you get away with being a more obnoxious individual.

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JUice

Weekly JUice

Week of 10/12/15

We are back, we are baaaaacckkkkkkk and we are getting Doug baccckkkkkkkk! You’re welcome for that lovely outdated 2010 pop culture reference that you probably are still trying to figure out. I’m trying to bring the Hangover back. For no reason whatsoever. Anyway, I took a two week hiatus from the JUice because the whole point of a blog on Friday with the week’s top headlines is that it’s interesting and these past two weeks the pop culture news cycle has been just about as exciting as my day to day game of should I go somewhere so that my neighbors see that I’m still alive and well enough to leave my apartment instead of rotting on my couch binge watching Parks & Rec. Although that may sound very disgusting I’d like to charitably add that I have been maintaining a normal shower routine. Yay, me! Anyway, shit went dizown this week so the JUice is back and you can thank me later. Or now. Whatever works in your schedule, pencil me in.

1. Leo Dicaprio Engaged.

leokelly

The king of all kings, the colossus of clout, the great LEONARDO DICAPRIO apparently, supposedly, sources say, put a ring on it. And the “it” is a chick my age so we can just kindly go back in time and stab an ice pick into my 1997 little girl heart as I fell in love with Titanic Leo and dreamed of the day we would marry. His fiancee, Kelly Rohrbach is an actress/swimsuit model (obviously)–yawn–my grandma once told me I should be a model and I was like No, Gams, I don’t want to intimidate the other girls in the Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition. Whatevz, they also clearly share a love of biking as pictured above, not for nothing but I’ve recently taken up biking and usually take a spin around town every day. But if it’s this girl he wants then FINE. I won’t be bitter. Also to be completely honest this could all be about as true as the time i reported Jeter was buying a house in Central New York–it’s not People official yet so we’ll just go ahead and assume it’s a rumor and that Leo is still waiting for the “one”(wink).

2. Zayn-Free 1D is PERFECT. I’m not afraid to shout it from the rooftops that I like 1D without Zayn sooo0oo0ooo much better. They released Perfect today, listen here, and I’ve had it on repeat all morning long. Obviously as far as celeb news goes they couldn’t let it slide without making comparisons to TSwift and saying it’s Harry’s response to Style (which was OBVIOUSLY about him.) I guess with lyrics like “If you like late night driving with the windows down” and “If you’re looking for someone to write your breakup songs about” it’s pretty much an open and shut case but that doesn’t mean they’re not going to each get badgered with questions about it. EITHER WAY, this song is perfect and so is present-day 1D.

3. Chrissy Teigen Preggers.

There’s been a lot of badgering Chrissy about when she’s gonna get knocked up already and finally about a month ago she was like hey assholes I’m having a difficult time getting pregnant so maybe shut your fat traps and let me live. Well her and John Legend just announced in an adorable instagram way of course so obviously I’m happy for them as a beautiful couple about to make a model child but also might have to unfollow Chrissy on Twitter once the little nugget pops out if she’s going to be as candid as I think she is about this topic. I stand firmly on team no babies, but glad to see they made it through their struggles and hope the baby is healthy.

4. Jasmine & Aladdin duet 23 years later.

Ok this was being tossed around because the original singers of A Whole New World paired up again on GMA to perform and although it made me nostalgic for the Aladdin days, I think I would have preferred to watch cartoons on a magic carpet ride over two humans who do not look like Aladdin and Jasmine, gazing into each other’s eyes while a bunch of adults lined up behind a piano watched them with ferociously nodding heads. It made me real uncomfy. I wanted to close my eyes and focus on the magical love but I couldn’t look away from the cringey interaction. Oh yeah and obviously they sound exactly the same so kudos to their voice coaches and stuff. Three cheers for Aladdin making a comeback these days. Still the best Disney movie in the biz–And I’m obviously still the best Jasmine in the biz, NBD but HBD.

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5. Kimmy Gibbler can get it.

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Last week casting revealed who would play Gibbler’s ex-husband and he’s a real hottie who also played Jesus one time so he’s now known as “Hot Jesus”…not a bad rep, bro. His name is Juan Pablo Di Pace and unless English isn’t his first language, I’m having a hard time figuring out how these two would end up togets. It will be interesting to see how this plays out, since he’s the ex it’ll be single galz on the scene with Kimmy, Steph and DJ (recently widowed ala copy cat Danny Tanner style) all on the singles grind. Although Steve is back–just as I predicted he would be, so I’m guessing Deej isn’t single for very long. I don’t think I need to reiterate how disappointed I will be if Fuller House goes the way of Girl Meets World in spin-off land.

BONUS: Zack Morris & AC Slater selfie.

Going old school. Literally… Fun time catching up with my boy @mpgosselaar today! #Reunion #BuddyBands

A post shared by Mario Lopez (@mariolopezextra) on

HASHTAG BUDDY BANDS.

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Pop Culture

Ten Best Celebrity Couples

Since Valentine’s Day was Saturday, I thought it would be an appropriate time to list all of the celebrity couples that I would’ve liked to be a third wheel with for the holiday of Looooove. Here’s the ten best celeb couples (in no particular order) who are going to make it the long haul…according to me. (If you’re reading this months or weeks from now and any or all of these couples have broken up please do not blame me. I’m still reeling from the dissolution of Nick and Jessica. It’ll be too much to handle if I’m also a curse.)

John Krasinski & Emily Blunt.

johnemily

I have a REAL difficult time separating John Krasinski from Jim Halpert and I think many Office fans can agree, which basically means that John must be the most romantic and adorable husband alive. The best part is that Emily Blunt is a sassy Brit instead of a meek little deer in the headlights like Pam was, so this relationship is EVEN better. They prank Jimmy Kimmel together every year, they crushed the ALS ice bucket challenge and they never take Hollywood too seriously.

Years Together: 7 (Married in 2010)

Beyonce & Jay-Z.

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There cannot be a top celeb couples list without the Queen & King themselves. They’re outrageously rich and spend like 90% of their time just F-ing around on yachts with baby royalty Blue Ivy. I respect the hell out of their lavish lifestyles because they deliver some sick beats, and most recently the coolest married couple concert ever. Only Bey & Jay can get away with recording a song about the two of them banging constantly and make the term “Surfbordt” popular. Also no one should ever be caught saying bad things about these two, because Illuminati.

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Years Together: 11 (Married in 2008)

Ben Affleck & Jennifer Garner.

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Ben and Jen are easily the most normal Hollywood couple ever. They’re more likely to be seen taking their kids to school or going to a soccer game in sneakers and jeans than doing stupid frivolous celeb things. They’re not all in yo face when they’re at awards shows together and Jen even let it slide when Ben won a bunch of awards for Argo and said that their marriage was work cause he got nervsies. Cool, calm and all about the fam.

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Years Together: 11 (Married in 2005)

Blake Lively & Ryan Reynolds.

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Have you seen these two? I have unrealistic high hopes that their baby will be the most beautiful baby on this earth, should they ever show her or reveal her name. Also I have a bigger crush on Blake than I do on Ryan, judge me, I dare you. Although it certainly helps Ryan’s charisma that he recently called Blake a human Denny’s because she’s breakfast lunch and dinner for their daughter. He’s quick to add that she’s the most beautiful Denny’s you’ve ever seen. Swooooon.

Years Together: 4 (Married in 2012)

Eric Decker & Jessie James Decker.

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I first learned about these two when they got a reality TV show on E! and I loved them immediately but was also SUUUPER nervsies that they would catch the reality show curse of Newlyweds. They’ve got a little bit of the Nick & Jessica dynamic because Jessie’s the goofy crazy one and Eric calms her down and puts up with her antics, but I’m pleased to report that their marriage is still intact and they recently had the most adorbs baby ever. I don’t even like babies and I’m obsessed with this one so that’s saying a lot. Please feel free to drool over their family photos like I do on a regular basis.

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In case you missed it and need some inspiration for your #babyitschristmas fan video submission!

A post shared by Jessie James Decker (@jessiejamesdecker) on

Years Together: 4 (Married in 2013)

Emma Stone & Andrew Garfield.

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These two crazy kids have a nice way of staying mostly private but still letting everyone know that they’re in love and are fun and stuff. Emma made an appearance when Andrew hosted SNL and they did a goofy kissing skit together. They’re known for photobombing and using their paparazzi shots to promote good causes. Also this just gives me an excuse to post Emma Stone’s lip sync battle on Fallon, which was epic. When Fallon had Andrew on after that he pointed out that they should’ve never given Emma a mic because she got real serious with it, real quick. The couple that lip syncs at home together, stays together.

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Years Together: 4

Chrissy Teigen & John Legend.

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I’m starting to see a trend here with the outspoken crazy girl and the other half that calms her down and I HAVE NO IDEA WHY. Anyway Chrissy is a supermodel who also has a pottymouth, isn’t afraid to look like an idiot and creates twitter wars with her haters. John is a classy 9-time Grammy-winning singer/songwriter piano playing extraordinaire. They met on the set of one of his music videos. They found love in a hopeless place. Just kitten, but seriously all you need to do is watch the music video for “All of Me” and your heart will be all kinds of melting. Chrissy also pretty frequently screenshots her texts with John where she basically just trolls him, which is always good for a laugh. Bonus Points: When she had an ugly crying face after seeing John perform at the Globes she handled it real well. By making fun of herself.

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Years Together: 8 (Married in 2013)

David & Victoria Beckham.

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Ah, British royalty. Becks was the sex-tastic futbol player, Victoria was Posh Spice. It was the 90’s and everything was magical. Becks fell in love with Posh’s ability to never look like she’s having an ounce of fun and the rest is history. They invaded America finally and we all haven’t been the same since. They also created a crop of future models with their four kids that have been high fashion since they were in diapers. Harper’s toddler top knot at fashion week for all the awards.

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Years Together: 18 (Married in 1999)

Channing Tatum & Jenna Dewan-Tatum.

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They met on the set of Step Up, arguably one of the best dance movies of all time and couldn’t deny the chemistry of their dirty dancing. They got married and Channing rewarded every woman in America with Magic Mike and his “Pony” striptease. And Jenna was like yeah bitches, that’s my husband and he used to be a stripper. Then they had a kid and Jenna supported Channing putting on the lbs and coined it “fappy” (Fat+Happy) Channing. Just recently they were snapped having a dance-off after the Golden Globes proving to be the best thing to come out of Step Up, and yes that was a direct dig to Step up 2-100.

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Years Together: 10 (Married in 2009)

Kristen Bell & Dax Shepard. 

kristendax Dax Shepard,Kristen Bell

Kristen and Dax are goobers.They’ve been doing a series of ads for Samsung for about a year now and call me a sucker but how they are in these commercials is exactly how I assume they interact at home. I eat that shit right up. They’ve always been all about sharing funny stories and being open about their relationship on talk shows and a few years ago Dax surprised Kristen with a sloth on her 31st birthday and she was so happy that she hysterically cried about it. Always the good husband, Dax filmed it all for our viewing pleasure. (See clip below) Plus after second baby Delta was born, Dax described Kristen’s C Section in the most romantic of ways, “After seeing this autopsy, I would rather see a school bus drive out of her vagina.” So he’s almost as much of a wordsmith as Ryan Reynolds comparing Blake’s breast-feeding to a diner chain.

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Years Together: 8 (Married in 2013)

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Music, Red Carpet, Television

Grammy’s Red Carpet

It was music’s biggest night and the singers put on their best, which unfortunately wasn’t great. The best dressed list was a true struggle to populate and it’s not just because I’m a judgmental asshole. I had people weigh in this time. Let’s get things started with the never-ending

Worst Dressed:

The 57th Annual GRAMMY Awards - Red Carpet

Ariana Grande with her signature tight ponytail that looks like it’s painful and a gown that looks like it was unfinished so they pinned a scrap of metallic material over it in an emergency.

The 57th Annual GRAMMY Awards - Red Carpet

Ashanti. Do less. Also how dare you show up to the Grammy’s without Ja Rule on your arm? Show some respect.

The 57th Annual GRAMMY Awards - Red Carpet

Charli XCX. Do even less than Ashanti. Was this supposed to be a bit? Did I miss something here?

The 57th Annual GRAMMY Awards - Red Carpet

Trash bag meets unraveling loofah on Ciara.

The 57th Annual GRAMMY Awards - Red Carpet

Damn it with those milkmaid braids that look to be weighing your head down, Iggy. I don’t even hate the dress because I’ve seen her do worse, but those braids really rough it up.

Jane Fonda

Legit question, why is Jane Fonda at the Grammys? In a green leisure suit nonetheless.

The 57th Annual GRAMMY Awards - Red Carpet

I actually don’t understand how Kanye is seen as a fashion icon. His obsession with deep V’s is almost as aggress as his wife’s obsession with showing off her lady bits on the internet.

The 57th Annual GRAMMY Awards - Red Carpet

I had to do a double take because I thought that Katharine McPhee was JWoww.

The 57th Annual GRAMMY Awards - Red Carpet

I think I actually like the purple hair more than I like this dress.

The 57th Annual GRAMMY Awards - Red Carpet

Kimmy, thanks for gracing the Grammy’s with your presence in a bedazzled bathrobe. Would you like me to grab your slippers?

The 57th Annual GRAMMY Awards - Red Carpet

Bonus points for matching the hair to the dress but yikes put the bewbs away.

The 57th Annual GRAMMY Awards - Red Carpet

KANGOL. NUFF SAID.

The 57th Annual GRAMMY Awards - Red Carpet

Madonna, you’re 56, woof. Time to retire the corsets.

The 57th Annual GRAMMY Awards - Red Carpet

This is conservative for Miles. That being said she looks straight up terrible. Is she coming down from a bender?

The 57th Annual GRAMMY Awards - Red Carpet

I would expect nothing less from someone who sings about buhholes.

The 57th Annual GRAMMY Awards - Red Carpet

Pharrell & Wife trying to one-up his historic Arby’s hat moment from last year with a nice readywear gym couples outfit.

rihanna-dress-600x450 The 57th Annual GRAMMY Awards - Red Carpet

Rihanna saw this online and thought it was cool. I’m wondering if that means she stumbled upon the DIY loofah costumes on Pinterest. She looks like she’s 400 pounds.

57th GRAMMY Awards - Arrivals

Ryan Adams taking his divorce with Mandy Moore well in a Canadian Tuxedo.

Zendaya

The Dumb and Dumber hairstyle, the hideous colored dress and matching lip. No thank you, Zendaya.

Best Dressed:

Anna Kendrick

Anna Kendrick with the ever popular this season, tuxedo-no bra combo.

Beyonce

BeyBey with the mermaid waves and form-fitting lace gown.

The 57th Annual GRAMMY Awards - Red Carpet

Chrissy Teigen crushes red carpet looks all day erreday.

The 57th Annual GRAMMY Awards - Red Carpet

Gwen Stefani wearing the pantsuit well and also keeping up appearances for her performance (see recap).

The 57th Annual GRAMMY Awards - Red Carpet

I see you in that green velvet suit, Jesse. ❤

The 57th Annual GRAMMY Awards - Red Carpet

Jennifer Hudson’s hair is looking pretty mom-ish but damn that body! The dress fits her well and looks great.

Mary J. Blige

MJ Blige with an age approps and beautiful gown.

The 57th Annual GRAMMY Awards - Red Carpet

I’m still half in half out on this one, but I think I’m leaning toward in so here it is. Meghan Trainor trying something different.

Miranda Lambert

Not my favorite for Miranda but she crushes her peformance outfit so that helped her make this list. (see recap)

The 57th Annual GRAMMY Awards - Red Carpet

Normally not a hat person but Ne-Yo is lookin real smooth.

The 57th Annual GRAMMY Awards - Red Carpet

Nick Jonas with the fitted plaid suit paired with white kicks. Wish he picked different shoes but he looks real trendy.

The 57th Annual GRAMMY Awards - Red Carpet569555-1a34b486-b017-11e4-90ab-ef3fd79aaa94

Nicole truly looks the best I’ve seen her look in a long time. Keith doesn’t deserve to be on the best dressed because of THAT HALF UP, HALF DOWN HAIRDO. NO KEITH. NO PONIES. (He also seems pretty casj about Nicole TOWERING over him.)

The 57th Annual GRAMMY Awards - Red Carpet

Lovin on that dress on Kimberly and the sleek pony.

The 57th Annual GRAMMY Awards - Red Carpet

Hate the hair, half in on the dress. I think the sparkles distracted me. And I drank a lot of wine tonight.

The 57th Annual GRAMMY Awards - Red Carpet

Jessie J in this sheer black number is pretty classy. Never into the greasy slicked back hair.

AND THE BEST DRESSED OF THE EVENING GOES TO:

The 57th Annual GRAMMY Awards - Red Carpet

This isn’t even me being a biased Taylor super fan. This look is awesome. The dress fits well, has sass in the back, is a spicy color and the legs + purple heels just seal the deal for me. Could’ve gone without the earrings that look like ones my mom used to have that I thought were costume jewelry and she was like no these are real earrings I wear in public, but whatever. I’m not going to nitpick, it’s not really my style. 😉

Keep reading for the full 4 hours condensed into highs, lows and cat naps in my Grammy’s Recap.

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Music, Pop Culture

Breaking News: Tay & Bey Unite

Obviously everyone knows that the stars aligned and Taylor Swift turned 25 on 12/13/14 and coincidentally threw the banger of the century with celeb crowds better than any awards show. (Mostly because Snapchat forced everyone to know, making a cat cartoon filter for every picture snapped on this holy day.) Everybody who is ANYBODY was at Tay’s party, as evident in the slur of photos below that gave me a real outrageous amount of FOMO on Saturday morning. The biggest shocker wasn’t the fact that Mr. King of Pop JT graced this little shindig with his presence but The King and Queen themselves also showed up. WHAT is that you say? The two most anti-social, royal subjects of Hollywood settled and hob-nobbed with T Swift and a bunch of commoners for her 25th? I was just as shocked as you, obviously.

famousppl

Since this happened over the weekend while everyone was enjoying their regular normal people activities I was going to let it slide without a specific blog…but then JT had his Brooklyn concert last night and the popular crowd reunited and I just couldn’t stand by and watch this silently for one more second. It appears that Queen B and her man didn’t just show up to Taylor’s party as a charity write-off…Bey and Tay are now besties who dance togets at JT concerts. These two have united and prepare yourself for a slaying because no one knows what could happen next. A secret joint release? A music video with dorky vs. queen twerk-offs? Tay babysitting Blue? The sky is the limit people–brace yourselves for a takeover.

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