Country, Red Carpet

CMA’s Red Carpet 2018

I didn’t get a chance to watch the CMA’s but I can pretty much guarantee Carrie Underwood’s face looked the same as it did 10 years ago but there will be 90 thinkpieces on her first hosting gig POST-FALL.

WORST

52nd Annual CMA Awards - Arrivals, Nashville, USA - 14 Nov 2018

It’s bad enough that it’s Hallmark Holiday szn and Alicia Witt and her dumpster acting is on my TV every time I turn it on, now she’s gotta invade country too?! What fresh hell is this?!

The 52nd Annual CMA Awards - Arrivals

I want the high Angelina Jolie slit to be done. There I said it. I feel better.

The 52nd Annual CMA Awards - Arrivals

My sister and I saw Brett in concert this fall and noticed that he has an aversion to pants that reach his ankles. It has now become a running joke that he only wears capris (including his own wedding) and it’s good to see that even in colder weather, he lets his socks shine in favor of pants that fit.

The 52nd Annual CMA Awards - Arrivals

I get the feeling that they’re going for the velvet matchy matchy thing even though I don’t know if this dress is velvet and I don’t approve.

The 52nd Annual CMA Awards - Arrivals

The first few times I looked at this I thought the top part was camo. Honestly, if it was I think I’d appreciate it more. Instead, it looks like a bad prom dress from Deb.

52nd Annual CMA Awards - Arrivals, Nashville, USA - 14 Nov 2018

I feel like this is a little dark for the CMA’s. Smokey eye on a hundred billion.

The 52nd Annual CMA Awards - Arrivals

Hey guys, look it’s that plain bagel Lauren B making her couple debut with Chris Lane. What a weird choice to wear for this occasion. It’s like she knew I was going to call her a plain bagel and wanted to toss a curveball in the form of a beaded veiny coral dress into the mix. Also, Chris is wearing his pajamas.

The 52nd Annual CMA Awards - Arrivals

We get it, you’re hot and have a good body…thanks for showing us your undies.

The 52nd Annual CMA Awards - Arrivals

This color looks lovely but I can’t get down with a mermaid dress. SARRY.

The 52nd Annual CMA Awards - Arrivals

Kewl hip cutout, Maren.

The 52nd Annual CMA Awards - Arrivals

I mean it literally looks like we can see Jennifer’s spanx underneath her dress. Why would that be a desirable style?

The 52nd Annual CMA Awards - Arrivals

OK are those non-slip sneaks that people who work in a kitchen wear? Is Russell trolling us?!

The 52nd Annual CMA Awards - Arrivals

I don’t need a slit from your neck to your belly button under any circumstances. I will say, however, that her legs look SO skinny in those pants. It’s almost like an optical illusion except that I know she probably has a thigh gap.

BEST

The 52nd Annual CMA Awards - Arrivals

The same yellow Kellie wore but no mermaid and I LIKE IT.

The 52nd Annual CMA Awards - Arrivals

JUST BECAUSE YOU’RE PREGNANT DOESN’T MEAN YOU CAN’T SHOW OFF THE MONEYMAKERS. This dress is fine and whimsical and all and obviously she looks good but like stop hiding your stems from the world, Carrie.

The 52nd Annual CMA Awards - Arrivals

I’m loving all these blues to match THOSE EYES.

The 52nd Annual CMA Awards - Arrivals

That pattern crisscrossing at the waist is super flattering in making her look skinny AF. Props on that.

The 52nd Annual CMA Awards - Arrivals

WHOA WHOA WHOA what do we have here?! Dennis Quaid going bad boy country on us?! YES DADDY! (To be honest that was my first time using daddy unironically and even though I laughed to myself about it for far too long, it still feels a little wrong. The leather jacket made me do it.)

The 52nd Annual CMA Awards - Arrivals

Honestly I’ve ripped Dustin a million times before because he wears the same thing every red carpet and I think I’m finally flipping the switch and starting to respect it. Glitter jacket and a Crest toothpaste ad smile. Do it up, yo.

The 52nd Annual CMA Awards - Arrivals

I’m not really sure what’s going on with this two jacket sitch but the pink fur is pretty baller.

The 52nd Annual CMA Awards - Arrivals

The CMA’s red carpet is not an occasion to bring your infant. Glossing over that huge detail, this is the best I’ve ever seen Tyler look and I wanted to give him cred for that because he usually looks like he’s dressing for a white trash bash except that’s how he really dresses. Fatherhood has matured him. Wifey could use a little work.

52nd Annual CMA Awards, Arrivals, Nashville, USA - 14 Nov 2018

Kneejerk reaction is to put this fool on the worst dressed and be like wtf were you thinking. But the fact that he’s owning this so hard and you can tell he LOVES this outfit made me put him on best dressed. Confidence is through the roof and he’s even working the pockets. I guess I’m going soft. Also I’m all about the leather hat. Always have been, always will be.

The 52nd Annual CMA Awards - Arrivals

No clue what her straps say but I love a fun party dress and may or may not be biased because she stars in my all time favorite show. GURL POWER.

The 52nd Annual CMA Awards - Arrivals

Boldest color on the carpet and she’s pulling it offfffff.

The 52nd Annual CMA Awards - Arrivals

This is so classy and elegant it almost doesn’t belong at the CMA’s.

The 52nd Annual CMA Awards - Arrivals

I LOVE THIS. Princess vibez for life.

The 52nd Annual CMA Awards - Arrivals

Obviously Luke always looks good even though he only sings slow sad songs now and he never shakes his ass in a backwards hat anymore. RIP. Gone2Soon.

The 52nd Annual CMA Awards - Arrivals

I dig that the older generation of country went for elegant ballroom looks. Keeps things spicy amongst the sparkles and cowboy hats.

52nd Annual CMA Awards, Arrivals, Nashville, USA - 14 Nov 2018

This should be known as the red carpet blog of penance as I’m giving kudos to those who I constantly shit all over. Scotty, your jacket is sparkly and I’m into it.

The 52nd Annual CMA Awards - Arrivals

Saved the best for last obv.

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Pop Culture

Celeb-oween 2018

This year marks the first time I realized I’m too old for Halloween and wanted nothing to do with all of the people touching me at the bar so it is a somber post indeed. For the years to come I will judge the celebrity costumes as I sit in my own costume, on the couch. RIP Halloweekend, Gone 2 Late. But if you’d like to see what it looks like to scrap together pieces for a costume, log some serious group craft time and have a boyfriend who looks like Tim Riggins, check out this year’s costume that went underappreciated by the bar skanks grinding to remixes of Don’t Stop Believin.

IMG_7982

I did get called out (mild spoiler alert) for cheating on Street and I’d like to clarify that we depict Season 3 Garrity and Riggins because we are moral people. Texas Forever. No Regrets. Let’s see how the celebrities with unlimited funds and a glam squad fared this year.

ariel-winter

This is probably the least slutty costume Ariel Winter has ever worn. Kudos to her. Especially because dressing up as Pam means you don’t have HIV.

Casamigos Halloween Party

All Brandon did was put a white robe on and he nailed it.

christian-siriano

No idea what this is but it’s pretty baller.

crawford

This made me so happy to see a family costume with teenagers. I wouldn’t have been caught dead dressing up with my parents for Halloween in high school. Props to this model fam. No but literally, they are all models.

diddy

By the looks of that sExUaL lip bite, Diddy is downright FEELIN HIMSELF as a pilot.

erika-jayne

If I ever wanted to spend money on a latex bodysuit, I would absolutely do this costume. No shame in the showing off your figure game. TASTEFULLY of course.

gabrielle union

Gabrielle Union does a classic celeb costume every year and she’s obviously good at it.

george-clooney

Cindy’s rocker costume was way better but Clooney as a pilot. Woo buddy. Step aside, Diddy.

harrystyles

No clue what this is but it made me laugh out loud. Oh, Harry.

jerry-seinfeld

Can never go wrong with a fairytale costume.

jessica-alba

This looks like my crafting level right here. Jagged dress cut probably from a bedsheet.

joejonas

Joe dressed as his fiance’s character on Game of Thrones. Interesting. Keeping the facial hair really spiced that up.

kjenner

WE GET IT KENDALL. YOU’RE HOT. DRESS AS A ZOMBIE NEXT YEAR AND I’D HAVE MORE RESPECT FOR YOU.

lauren-conrad

I stan hard on LC and her annual halloween costumes but this blows. You can’t drown yourself in tulle and call yourself a moth. Get outta here.

lily-depp-rose

YEP.

lisa-rinna

This is funny because I used to watch Housewives and Rinna is a psycho and everyone is jealous of Erika Jayne, badass popstar bitch. Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, Rinna.

The 8th Annual Trick or treats! Halloween party at the private residence of Jonas Tahlin, CEO of Absolut Elyx

Nothing like a pantsless Doc Brown

nina-dobred

A STAR IS BORN. Clever.

oliviamunn

Apparently this is a character from Crazy Rich Asians. Yehhh ok.

paris

GTFO of my planet, Paris.

paris-nicky

Nicky can take a hike with her sister, who she apparently deemed important enough to mimic as a costume. COOL, A SPARKLY DRESS. THIS IS NOT ICONIC ENOUGH. Had these pictures not been side by side, it would’ve just looked like Nicky was going out on the town.

3rd Annual Dee Dee Jackson Foundation Costume For A Cause - Arrivals

You have Michael Jackson money, sir. Please use it.

KISS Haunted house Party 2018 - Arrivals

Rita Ora has the best costume this year and there’s no contest.

Just Jared's 7th Annual Halloween Party

I wouldn’t be surprised if these girls dressed like this on a regular basis if we’re being honest here.

Just Jared's 7th Annual Halloween Party

Wells can GET IT as Belle. THAT WAIST.

2018 GOOD+ Foundation's 3rd Annual Halloween Bash Presented by Delta Air Lines and Otter Pops

Meh.

seacrest

I’m almost positive Ryan Seacrest has been this exact costume before.

wiz-khalifa

Ninja Turtle Wiz and his fake pizza are LOVING life.

joeyking

Joey King had to shave her head for a role and BOY DID SHE utilize that bald head to amp up her costume.

michelle-trachtenberg

I guess this is Michelle Trachtenberg. If I can’t even tell who you are, you’re doing Halloween right.

noahcentineo

Netflix’s latest heartthrob going as Disney’s biggest rapey doucher? This will just not do.

victoria-justice-

Uniqueness: 10/10, Execution: 10/10, Knowing the Alphabet Skills: 5/10

bey

yonce

Beyonce went so hard in the paint for her h-ween costume she even got her graphic designer involved. Toni Braxton obviously bowed down to her.

cheban

I came down HARD on Jonathan Cheban last year and I don’t regret it because I was genuinely concerned for his face. He probably caught wind of this and covered up this year. Looks GR8.

https://www.instagram.com/p/Bpdbip9g73S/?hl=en&taken-by=g_eazy G-Eazy/Instagram

You’re about to see the difference between a guy post-breakup and a girl. G-Eazy slapped on some intricate makeup and probably still got laid.

halsey

Halsey went out ass naked and called it a costume. She too, probably got laid. Brava to both.

Just Jared's 7th Annual Halloween Party

What the hell does a bedazzled mask have to do with what looks like a rape and murder victim? I am truly disturbed.

john-legend-and-chrissy-teigen

This makes my heart happy.

jwoww

Lotta questions here. 1. Did Roger agree to a family costume in exchange for staying together? 2. Where is their other kid….

kylie-jenner-stormi

Leave it to Kylie Jenner to dress up with her INFANT and still look like a hoebag. Like really? As a mom you thought it was necessary to wear a leotard and tie up stillettos while matching your baby?

shaun white

This year’s immediate post-halloween apology came from Shaun White. Gotta say, didn’t expect to see an OLYMPIAN dress up as a mentally retarded character but there’s one every year and it’s just downright comical to see that there are still people in the spotlight who choose insensitive costumes and are genuinely surprised when they’re forced to apologize. Dude. Dress as yourself. You won gold medals at like retirement age in the Olympics this past year. No need for a costume.

Katy Perry dresses up as a sloth for Halloween at Kelly and Ryan show in New York

Kewl costume, Katy remember when you were a cheeto? People don’t forget. Also, I lied. This costume is dumb.

rebelwilson

Rebel Wilson going as Wilson is prettttyyy pretty good. Plus it’s one of those costumes that you can eat a bowl full of candy before and no one will know.

ellen

Ellen on the other hand, is really getting her bang for her buck with that plastic cleavage she keeps rocking each Halloween. She’s going for Mariah Carey but I think there’s a deeper want here in the form of a boob job. (Update- apparently she was just dressing up as the Bachelorette. Whatever. Point still stands.)

Today-Halloween-2018

The Today show went 80’s but PLOT TWIST so did Good Morning America (couldn’t find a group pic SARRY.) I want to know who immediately got fired for that. I love Willie as Ferris Bueller the most.

roker

Also this made me laugh out loud because this is one hundo percent the face you make when you poop your pants at the white house.

Christina Milian is decked out in Hello Kitty gear for the Galore Magazine party

I’m not really sure what blue hair and eyes have to do with Hello Kitty. At this point I just have to assume your costume is a freak.

giulian

Jack and Allie from A Star is Born. YESSSS. I’M OFF THE DEEP ENDDDDDDDDDDD.

Heidi Klum's 19th Annual Halloween Party

EVERYONE SLOBBER ALL OVER HEIDI KLUM BECAUSE SHE INVENTED HALLOWEEN. (Dope costume tho.)

khloe-kardashian

THIS IS HOW YOU DRESS UP WITH YOUR CHILD. TAKE NOTES, KYLIE.

mariah

Mariah’s real cleavage in a roleplay costume.

nph

THIS IS AWESOME. NPH and co strike again!

https://www.instagram.com/p/BpmlhC0Bovc/?hl=en Wendy Williams Show

Dressing like a showgirl but calling yourself the Queen of Hearts. Yah ok.

LET’S SEE THE BABY’S FACE! COME ON!!! WHO’S THE DAD?! Either way, cute costume obv.

Majestic.

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God is a woman

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A rare Kardashian compliment because I’m about to tear them all to shreds. This is perfect.

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👼🏼👼🏼👼🏼👼🏼👼🏼

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Halloween 2018

A post shared by Kim Kardashian West (@kimkardashian) on

The fact that these bholes treat Halloween like a 9 look fashion show and got THE ACTUAL ANGEL WINGS AND LINGERIE just so that they could have their bits on display for the millionth time ever. COME ON. THIS MAKES ME SO ANGRY. I DON’T NEED TO SEE YOUR VAGINA, KIM.

Ok I’m calm again. Reese brought me back down with a normal Halloween costume a mother would wear.

LOOK AT THE WIDDLE PUPPY BAYBAY!!!!

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They got candy? LEGO!

A post shared by Justin Timberlake (@justintimberlake) on

This is a real trick or treating commitment right there.

Neither of these kids were Boo, the cutest cartoon character ever to be created and I feel like that’s a missed opportunity. Mini monsters is also adorbs though.

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Wouldn’t have done it without the to-go wine

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This is how I will trick or treat with my oopsie kids. WINE ALWAYZ.

YUP. Couples costume with your dog. Nailed it.

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Scary Harry 📸 @zakarywalters

A post shared by Ed Sheeran (@teddysphotos) on

Scary indeed.

Not gonna lie I want that leotard.

So I guess I’m just not up with the youths these days but Halloween is literally just dressing up in a costume and doing a photoshoot. Didn’t even need to subject myself to strangers at the bar this past weekend. Could’ve just insta’ed my costume.

 

HAPPY HALLOWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENie

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Red Carpet

AMA’s Red Carpet 2018

I tuned into the AMA’s to watch badd bitch Tay throw a ton of side eye and dramatic arm drops and let me tell you, she delivered. It’s no surprise she was my favorite look of the night as well. It IS surprising how generous I was for a group of hooligan youths at an awards show that’s all fan-voted though.

WORST

ashleeevan

I’ve seen Ash look better and to be honest I’m pretty sick of her top knot (I watch her reality show and she rarely takes that thing out) and I think it goes without saying that flood pants and a blazer over a bare chest is a hard no, Evan.

beberexha

This is the kind of red carpet look where you question the team of stylists around you and who told you this was awards show worthy. The hair and dress are god awful.

cardib

This is Cardi B. Obviously bitch is loud in everything that she does including chirping and clucking like a goddamn loon instead of speaking actual words. I almost hate it so much that I love it. Almost.

dualipakelsea

Knocked out two worst dressed in one pic. One in a terrible wedding dress and the other in a bee/zebra inspired costume.

khalid

Will 80’s mom ever be chic on a black man? Chuckin the deuces really added to the overall look thooo.

leighton

Cruella deWaldorf

chloehalle

Oh, look! It’s the new music act: creepy twins who wear matching cloaks!

kylerichards

How this bid weaseled her way onto a red carpet is beyond me but she looks like a Vegas show girl and that is the most obvious.

poppy

What.The.Shit.

postmalone

This is the face of rap today. This guy. What did we do to deserve this?

camilacabello

This is so so so so boring. Also unrelated but kind of related to the hate I’m feeling toward this outfit: that song Havana makes me wanna rip my ears clean off my head. Double also, tailor your pants.

tyra

SHINE BRIGHT, SHINE FAR…get this stupid outfit off Tyra, you’re not a Barbie magically brought to life, you’re a real human wearing a pompom as a skirt paired with a pirates shirt.

BEST

amberheard

Kind of a random celeb to be at this caliber of awards show but at least she looks good!

carrie

Classic bump pic where you can’t even see the bump. Oooh but she giving us that leg, guuuurl.

chainsmokers

These two have v. punchable faces but damnit credit where credit is due with some spicy suits and funky shoes.

cobietaran

COBIE! GET IT BOO! Robin Sparkles indeed.

halseygeazy

These two typically look like giant assholes so props for announcing they’re back together via red carpet and also looking fly as hell. G Eazy is pulling off those leather pants and Halsey isn’t wearing silk lingerie for once!

jjd

Ultimate pony sass.

jlo

There really are no words for JLo’s hotness anymore. Just assume she will forever be on the best dressed because she’s a babe soda who never ages.

ramimalek

I’m into this picnic jacket and I don’t really know why.

shawnmendes

Seriously people stop doing the peace sign on the red carpet. You look like a dweebosaurus. Other than that, well done!

TR

TR. What a cutie patootie.

tracee

I guess I was feeling extra generous tonight because I imagined her to be wearing something so much worse that when I saw this I was like ok, you’re good.

VanessaHudgens

Daaaaammmn.

zedd

SPARKLE JACKET ALERT.

taytay

I mean. Come on. I need those boots and I needed them yesterday. Well, the whole outfit will do.

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Red Carpet, Television

Emmys Red Carpet 2018

I’d like to say that I watched the 70th Emmy’s last night but mostly I just talked over it and shoved cheeses, meats & olives into my mouth. Certainly didn’t stop me from sounding off about everyone’s outfits, tweeting about nipples and laughing at the cringeworthy proposal that occurred onstage for all to see. Feels good to be back.

WORST

775226325PB00054_NBC_s_70th

Oh, ok. So I guess the rule is if you won an Emmy last year that gives you the right to show up in a silk button down with a corset layered over it and adorned with costume pearls. I just re read this and HOW COULD I FORGET THE G-D BRIEFCASE SHE’S CARRYING TO TOP IT ALL OFF. UGH. Get out of my face with this, Laura.

70th Emmy Awards - Arrivals

This was not her only trash outfit of the night and very much subscribes to the theme of women dressing like they live in the Great Depression, which thanks to a knowledgeable customer the other day, I learned was in 1935.

70th Primetime Emmy Awards, Arrivals, Los Angeles, USA - 17 Sep 2018

Well why don’t we just start adorning ourselves in neon parachutes? WHY NOT.

70th Emmy Awards - Arrivals

I almost ralphed upon laying eyes on this busy as a bee ladysuit.

70th Primetime Emmy Awards, Arrivals, Los Angeles, USA - 17 Sep 2018

Hey Mario, injuring your foot is not a good enough reason to wear suit shorts.

70th Primetime Emmy Awards, Arrivals, Los Angeles, USA - 17 Sep 2018

Ma’am, I’m gonna need you to address the creature growing out of your shoulder. Sterling, you good, boo.

NBC's "70th Annual Primetime Emmy Awards" - Red Carpet

Pretty surprising turn of events for Kristen Bell to end up on my shit list but this dress sucks.

70th Primetime Emmy Awards, Arrivals, Los Angeles, USA - 17 Sep 2018

There’s gotta be a Beetlejuice on every red carpet. But like, why.

70th Primetime Emmy Awards, Arrivals, Los Angeles, USA - 17 Sep 2018

This would’ve been my dream outfit for a special event if you had asked me when I was 7 in 1998.

NBC's "70th Annual Primetime Emmy Awards" - Red Carpet

This was Darren’s night to shine because his portrayal as a serial killer in the Versace show was nightmares and yet he chose to wear what looks like a jizz stained suit for it.

US-ENTERTAINMENT-TELEVISION-EMMYS-ARRIVALS

I honestly can’t tell if her and Maya Rudolph were trying to be ironic with their outfits straight out of a different time period. The last time I wore a statement belt was freshman year of college. And on top of that she’s rocking a rat tail sticking out of her head and this pattern is ROUGH.

NBC's "70th Annual Primetime Emmy Awards" - Red Carpet

Does this sequin nightmare have actual horns?

NBC's "70th Annual Primetime Emmy Awards" - Red Carpet

The pompadour and possible shorts really throws this whole look off course.

70th Emmy Awards - Arrivals

What’s happening here other than Toby and his date sharing eyeliner?

70th Primetime Emmy Awards - Limo Drop Off, Los Angeles, USA - 17 Sep 2018

THERE IS A WAY TO DRESS FOR YOUR SIZE WITHOUT LOOKING 6 TRILLION TIMES BIGGER. THIS IS NOT IT. INSERT CLAPPING EMOJIS AS NEEDED.

NBC's "70th Annual Primetime Emmy Awards" - Red Carpet

I think Allison ripped this off of a horny 17 year old at prom.

70th Emmy Awards - Arrivals

I read a headline that this dress has a special meaning…I’m guessing it has to do with pride but like it’s not necessary to dress like a clown for an elegant event.

70th Emmy Awards - Arrivals

Carrying the sparkles and platforms torch of the evening.

70th Emmy Awards - Arrivals

As much as I love mint. This dress is wrong. All kinds of wrong.

NBC's "70th Annual Primetime Emmy Awards" - Red Carpet

So apparently this was her wedding dress. She is divorced now and supposedly wanted the dress to have a night on the town. What really had a night on the town were her erect nipples. When the Ungermyer took the stage to accept the Emmy, her areolas quite literally poked my eyeballs out. She even had the gall to mention that she skipped the bra. NO NEED TO LET US KNOW, WE RECEIVED THIS MESSAGE WHEN YOUR NIPS TOUCHED THE MIC BEFORE YOU DID.

70th Emmy Awards - Show

775226325TM00094_NBC_s_70th

WTF.

NBC's "70th Annual Primetime Emmy Awards" - Red Carpet

I thought I read somewhere that Kirsten Dunst is preggers but judging by this photo and her knockers busting out of her dress yet having 0.0 waist or belly, I’m very perplexed. Landry is literally scaring me.

70th Primetime Emmy Awards, Arrivals, Los Angeles, USA - 17 Sep 2018

I’m not sure that the Emmys are the place to roll up like you’re Janis Joplin. She looks great for like a concert or the AMA’s.

70th Emmy Awards - Arrivals

Not even a little bit flattering.

70th Primetime Emmy Awards, Arrivals, Los Angeles, USA - 17 Sep 2018

Could everyone just put their nipples away for one night? Also props to the “paint your two front strands of hair blonde” color job.

70th Primetime Emmy Awards, Arrivals, Los Angeles, USA - 17 Sep 2018

I am afraid. Also if you look at her from the right angle it looks like she has elf ears and she’s carrying a bible. That is all.

70th Primetime Emmy Awards, Arrivals, Los Angeles, USA - 17 Sep 2018

Tracy looks like an idiot. Which he might’ve been aiming for. So this could be a compliment.

70th Primetime Emmy Awards, Arrivals, Los Angeles, USA - 17 Sep 2018

This is just a tripping hazard. I mean, come on. I’m assuming she didn’t expect to win or she’d have a broken neck.

NBC's "70th Annual Primetime Emmy Awards" - Red Carpet

Alison Janney is having a moment lately because she’s got a hot bod and her career is still kickin but I don’t think that gives her the right to dress like a showgirl. She could’ve rocked a million other looks way better.

2018 Primetime Emmy Awards - Arrivals, Los Angeles, USA - 17 Sep 2018

This is a dress for a 12 year old.

NBC's "70th Annual Primetime Emmy Awards" - Red Carpet

I can’t stop staring at the top of this lime popsicle of a dress. Why so round?

70th Emmy Awards - Arrivals

From lime to banana.

70th Primetime Emmy Awards, Arrivals, Los Angeles, USA - 17 Sep 2018

When your boyfriend is hosting maybe bring your A game.

BEST

70th Primetime Emmy Awards, Arrivals, Los Angeles, USA - 17 Sep 2018

I think this is a tasteful amount of feathers and Keri looks like a babe.

70th Primetime Emmy Awards, Arrivals, Los Angeles, USA - 17 Sep 2018

You’ll find that many made the best dressed list just because I violently hated so many outfits that when I saw an outfit that was just fine, I threw them a bone. Her legs look good so here ya go.

70th Primetime Emmy Awards, Arrivals, Los Angeles, USA - 17 Sep 2018

Joey King of Kissing Booth fame gets her princess moment but like where the hell is Flynn?

70th Primetime Emmy Awards, Arrivals, Los Angeles, USA - 17 Sep 2018

Another dreamy princess/napping dress that I can always get down with.

NBC's "70th Annual Primetime Emmy Awards" - Red Carpet

He always looks fresh.

NBC's "70th Annual Primetime Emmy Awards" - Red Carpet

I’m into the green for something different.

70th Primetime Emmy Awards, Arrivals, Los Angeles, USA - 17 Sep 2018

Basically one of the only SNL stars who didn’t look like they borrowed costumes from set to wear.

NBC's "70th Annual Primetime Emmy Awards" - Red Carpet

This is so weird and yet I’m mesmerized by it. Probably because it’s Alexis Bledel and she looks beautiful in anything.

70th Emmy Awards - Arrivals

Power suits for a power couple.

70th Emmy Awards - Arrivals

Milo kind of looks like a geeky waiter but it’s Milo and I love him anyway.

US-ENTERTAINMENT-TELEVISION-EMMYS-ARRIVALS

This fella is really embracing fall fash and I’m here for it.

70th Primetime Emmy Awards, Arrivals, Los Angeles, USA - 17 Sep 2018

The bowtie! And the pants! And the boots!

NBC's "70th Annual Primetime Emmy Awards" - Red Carpet

YAAAS CONNIE! Will she ever age?! Will that head of hair ever look less than perfect?! NO.

NBC's "70th Annual Primetime Emmy Awards" - Red Carpet

I don’t love Chrissy’s dress but it’s not like hideous so whatever.

70th Primetime Emmy Awards, Arrivals, Los Angeles, USA - 17 Sep 2018

This is fun and adorbs!

NBC's "70th Annual Primetime Emmy Awards" - Red Carpet

Hot damn, lady. Didn’t you just have another baby?

70th Primetime Emmy Awards, Arrivals, Los Angeles, USA - 17 Sep 2018

Benedict’s fine and all but his lady friend is really rocking the yellow with a red lip.

70th Primetime Emmy Awards, Arrivals, Los Angeles, USA - 17 Sep 2018

Another cozy furry number that I want to lay my head upon. Hair could’ve been better but hey, who am I to judge? (lololololol)

70th Emmy Awards - Arrivals

It kind of looks like she’s barefoot but if you’re not distracted by that like I am, check out this sassy jumpsuit equipped with cape! This might be sneaking up into one of my favorite looks of the night.

70th Primetime Emmy Awards, Arrivals, Los Angeles, USA - 17 Sep 2018

Showing the men some love.

70th Primetime Emmy Awards, Arrivals, Los Angeles, USA - 17 Sep 2018

I mean we get it, you’re skinny and you have big boobs but I do like this color a lot!

NBC's "70th Annual Primetime Emmy Awards" - Red Carpet

Although I usually shy away from showing off your pecs in a dress, this color looked good on her and looked good on camera when she did her not funny awards show bit while introducing a category.

NBC's "70th Annual Primetime Emmy Awards" - Red Carpet

Mandy always looks good but I am wondering why we needed to mermaid the dress so short that her feet are sticking out. Her cleavage looks luscious though.

70th Emmy Awards - Arrivals

This suits her. Would I wear it? Never. But she’s rocking the hell out of that tulip dress.

NBC's "70th Annual Primetime Emmy Awards" - Red Carpet

My favorite look of the night and it ain’t even close and I swear it’s not because she’s married to JT and they look BOMB together. But like, it also kind of is…

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We got a babysitter. #Emmys

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Red Carpet

Billboard Music Awards Red Carpet 2018

This is one of those awards show that I question if I’m too old for every year and the great news is, not yet! If you close the show with Salt n Pepa, En Vogue and DJ Spinderella spitting 90’s bangers, I’M STILL IN THE CUTOFF! Unfortunately, I am too old for like 90% of what the females chose to wear for this red carpet, which is unfortunate because this was a real female empowerment show.

WORST

2018 Billboard Music Awards - Arrivals

Kewl one suspender, Gaston.

2018 Billboard Music Awards - Arrivals

I’m convinced that Halsey just grabs a wig on her way out the door and tosses it on in the limo with how out of place it always looks on her head/body.

2018 Billboard Music Awards - Arrivals

The bottom of this dress could dust my apartment and I’m over it.

2018 Billboard Music Awards - Arrivals

Taylor hasn’t been on an awards show red carpet in 2 years and this was her comeback dress. Hard disapprove.

2018 Billboard Music Awards - Red Carpet

Salt n Pepa tried to dress like youths except that they’re no longer in youth shape.

2018 Billboard Music Awards - Arrivals

Clashing prints and quite the baggy crotch for new dad John. We’ll forgive him because he showed up just to sing and flew back to Chrissy & the babies.

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2018 Billboard Music Awards - Arrivals

We needed a front and back view of this dress because although the sparkles dazzle me, Ciara basically rolled up naked.

2018 Billboard Music Awards - Arrivals

This dress MUST be one size fits all because she is drowning in it.

2018 Billboard Music Awards - Arrivals

I had a disgusting dress up dress when I was a kid that was made from this exact fabric and was a brighter hue of purple. Except it didn’t have a neckline that started at my waist.

2018 Billboard Music Awards - Arrivals

I’m honestly perplexed by this. Did someone ravel her in pinstripe fabric from a spool and just let her start walking?

Billboard Music Awards, Arrivals, Las Vegas, USA - 20 May 2018

DEMI WHAT R U DOING? You can perform with Xtina but DO NOT take fashion tips from her!!! Slicked hair and a leopard print muumuu, no ma’am!

2018 Billboard Music Awards - Arrivals

Ugh. Maren. A heart? Rly?

2018 Billboard Music Awards - Arrivals

I am blown away by this look. Not only is it completely skanky to just roll up with a wide open, unbuttoned blazer but my friend and I dissected what happens when you sit down for far too long. But seriously. Unless she’s standing for this entire awards show, can we take a quick guess what’ll happen when she sits down? Her stomach will do all sorts of things. It’s called gravity. WHY WOULD A FEMALE WILLINGLY OPEN THEIR TOP UP TO SHOW THAT OFF?!

2018 Billboard Music Awards - Arrivals

The inventor of smizing was really selling it here but nothing will sell this collar/sleeve ruffle.

2018 Billboard Music Awards - Arrivals

This is lingerie.

2018 Billboard Music Awards - Arrivals

Although this is a very Kesha outfit, I feel like if she maybe took one piece away from all the things she’s doing here I would’ve let it slide.

2018 Billboard Music Awards - Arrivals

Love her hair and the color but all these mixed textures ruined it for me.

BEST

janet-jackson

Wooooo Janet looking like the badass fairy godmother of the BBMA’s.

Billboard Music Awards, Arrivals, Las Vegas, USA - 20 May 2018

Don’t care what he’s shamelessly promoting here because it’s Pauly D and I love him and he’s wearing pineapple kicks.

2018 Billboard Music Awards - Arrivals

Fun dress that doesn’t show any of her bits! Not quite sure about Evan’s bedazzled Cosby sweater tho.

2018 Billboard Music Awards - Arrivals

This doesn’t even look like Mila Kunis (can we not make bangs a thing?) but it’s still a cute outfit.

2018 Billboard Music Awards - Arrivals

I like this dress in theory but judging by the amount of times Hailey tugged at her boobs she clearly was uncomfy in it and this is why you don’t wear a dress where your girls hang loose and you have to constantly adjust it to prevent a nip slip. Tough stuff, lesson learned.

2018 Billboard Music Awards - Arrivals

JESSE ❤

2018 Billboard Music Awards - Arrivals

I want to toss this pic in front of JC and say this is how you do red boots.

2018 Billboard Music Awards - Arrivals

I kinda just want this leather jacket for myself, tbh.

2018 Billboard Music Awards - Arrivals

Host K. Clarkson in addition to being suuuuper obnoxious, rotated between varations of black dresses/suits with big belts and gold jewels. Slimming classic look.

2018 Billboard Music Awards - Arrivals

Red hawt. Even the shades match!

2018 Billboard Music Awards - Arrivals

Jenna Dewan gettin down in all leatha.

2018 Billboard Music Awards - Arrivals

I feel like the guys showed up way more than the girls last night and I’m here for it! Showing the bros some fashion love.

2018 Billboard Music Awards - Arrivals

FRESH SUMMER SUIT!

2018 Billboard Music Awards - Arrivals

I’m so envious of this dramatic top bun. And also the dress is alright.

2018 Billboard Music Awards - Arrivals

Although I find it absolutely mind-bottling that a comically round individual like DJ Khaled is the most sought after person to shout ANOTHA ONE or scream nonsense in the background of your song and take partial producing/writing credit, this aqua colored suit and matching kicks are mesmerizing. Credit where credit is due. Now back to hating him for ruining every good song on this earth. The. End.

 

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Pop Culture, Red Carpet

Royal Wedding Red Carpet

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I mean come on. If you thought I was gonna be up before 7AM on a Saturday morning and NOT blog this, you’re out of your mind. I’ve said it on Twitter but I’ll say it again…the most selfish thing the royal family could’ve done was hold this ceremony on local time. No one in their country gives a flying F about this wedding. America is obsessed with the royals and now EXTRA obsessed because an American from what has proven to be a trash ass family with their antics this past month has done the unattainable and found herself a real prince. So long, Sucktown, I’m a princess now! Every little girl’s dream. Even the Today show was like I’ve met more people from California than I have from England here. BUT WHATEVER. Not bitter or anything. Us Americans will set our alarms just to wake up and watch church on TV on a weekend. Don’t worry bout us.

And without further ado, here are the most random collection of celebrities-the chosen ones (with some royals sprinkled in) who got to sit 14 miles away from the altar and “watch” the Royal Wedding.

WORST

The wedding of Prince Harry and Meghan Markle, Pre-Ceremony, Windsor, Berkshire, UK - 19 May 2018

Do you guys remember Joss Stone? She had a song on the radio in like 2003 and apparently that makes her worthy of attending these nuptials with a lady wearing pink fishnets. Either way she’s dressed to attend a 6 year old’s tea party.

Prince Harry Marries Ms. Meghan Markle - Windsor Castle

I LOVE the red heels but I’m sorry I had to do it. You’re attending a wedding not a funeral, guys! JAZZ IT UP.

Royal wedding

This is giving me 1960’s PanAm vibes real hard.

Prince Harry Marries Ms. Meghan Markle - Windsor Castle

Tom Hardy being a baldy really threw me for a loop here. I’m not digging what his lady friend is wearing. The most frills and puffs.

The wedding of Prince Harry and Meghan Markle, Pre-Ceremony, Windsor, Berkshire, UK - 19 May 2018

I’m not a huge fan of dusty pink but this dress is a flattering cut on her.

The wedding of Prince Harry and Meghan Markle, Pre-Ceremony, Windsor, Berkshire, UK - 19 May 2018

Just your classic, oh he’s British so he’s invited. I get that Carey’s a hippie but this dress is not fitting for the ceremony. Mumford looks dapper.

Prince Harry Marries Ms. Meghan Markle - Windsor Castle

Cressida going for some Mexican vibes at her ex’s wedding. That’s one way to stand out!

The wedding of Prince Harry and Meghan Markle, Pre-Ceremony, Windsor, Berkshire, UK - 19 May 2018

Lolol to James Blunt being there but also his date is an embroidered couch cushion.

Prince Harry Marries Ms. Meghan Markle - Windsor Castle

Isn’t this guy in cologne ads? This dress is so unflattering and boring.

jamescorden

James looks great but I can’t with his wife’s hat. It ruins her whole look.

Royal wedding

Oprah looks FINE. But, she’s OPRAH. I expected so much more from her.

princess-beatrice

I keep going back and forth on this dress because the puffballs are really pushing it but bottom line, the hat is basically a yarmulke.

BEST

Royal wedding

At first glance I hated this then I did a quick switch and loved the fact that her shoes match the colored stripes perfectly. Plus that’s a dope hat.

Prince Harry Marries Ms. Meghan Markle - Windsor Castle

Purple’s my favorite color so of course I love this.

The wedding of Prince Harry and Meghan Markle, Pre-Ceremony, Windsor, Berkshire, UK - 19 May 2018

I respect Chelsea Davies wearing dark colors (opposite of Cressida’s piñata dress) because if you’re invited to watch your ex boyfriend make SOMEONE ELSE A PRINCESS, you best show up in your darkest dress, still looking like a babe, to mourn your loss.

BRITAIN-US-ROYALS-WEDDING-GUESTS

This is typically something I would hate but I like the flourish for the event. Plus I’m a sucker for colored heels.

The wedding of Prince Harry and Meghan Markle, Pre-Ceremony, Windsor, Berkshire, UK - 19 May 2018

Ugh Pippa looking like a dime as always. Show us dat azzz girl! Too far? Whatevs.

Prince Harry Marries Ms. Meghan Markle - Windsor Castle

These two are definitely the best dressed couple there. Showing the Beckham’s how to do it. Coordinated, classy and fun!

The wedding of Prince Harry and Meghan Markle, Pre-Ceremony, Windsor, Berkshire, UK - 19 May 2018

This is a best and a worst all in one photo. Abigail wearing a polka dot frock is a miss no matter what but standing next to the perfectly polished Priyanka makes it 100x worse.

sophie-countess-of-wessex

Get it gurrrrlll with those separates! So trendy!

patrick-j-adams-troian-bellisario

Classic look from both.

giada-lubomirski

I want this outfit. I’ve never needed a matching teal coat, hat and dress more.

gabriel-macht-jacinda-barrett

I always appreciate a subtle matching coups.

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This is the best pic I could get for Kate but naturally she’s the skinniest and looking phenomenal with that little sassternaut Charlotte saying hi to the h8ers.

doria-ragland

Not sure if this creates a rivalry to wear the same color as the Queen but Doria looks amazing as she tries to show that not everyone in Meghan’s family is American trailer trash.

prince-charles-camilla

Bow down to Camilla’s hat.

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Nothing will ever be funnier than a permanent scowl paired with a full-on lime green outfit. Her face says I hate everyone while her duds scream I’M READY FOR A SUMMER PARTY!

The wedding of Prince Harry and Meghan Markle, Pre-Ceremony, Windsor, Berkshire, UK - 19 May 2018

Both boys looking like dapper dans.

entranceThe wedding of Prince Harry and Meghan Markle, Ceremony, St George's Chapel, Windsor Castle, Berkshire, UK - 19 May 2018

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I’m not a monster, so I’ll allow Meghan to be on the best dressed list at her own wedding but please know that I found this dress to be incredibly boring. At the same time, she’s beautiful and could’ve worn a rag (which this basically is) and still looked great. Not to throw comparisons into the ring but Kate looked elegant on her wedding day but also jazzed it up with a lacy dress and some mermaid waves. My theory is that Meghan’s history of divorce and being a Hollywood starlet, on top of the fact that her family has pooped all over this wedding looking for publicity rocked the Royal traditions boat a little too  much so she scaled back the dress for compensation.

And here are some couple goals for ya, because these two are cute as shit together:

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If you haven’t quite gotten enough of my snarky commentary, feel free to peep my all of my thoughts tweeted live during the action below…you know before I decided to start this blog because church got boring.

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Pop Culture, Red Carpet

Met Gala Red Carpet 2018

Spring is in the air and Hollywood’s finest / youngest are gracing the Met red carpet in outrageous getups that narrowly relate to a central theme. What a time to be alive. Since last year’s “theme” was just a bunch of words in another language, it was a breath of fresh air that this year they just went with Catholicism. Probably the best theme I’ve seen thus far in the 4 years that I’ve been blogging this asshole fashion event. Peep below for headdresses and lace galore. And literal Jesus. No seriously, he resurrected to attend a Hollywood art/fashion event. And his name is also Jared Leto. Also, spoiler alert but nobody will ever top this look and that seems pretty obvious.

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NOW THAT’S HOW YOU DO CATHOLICISM. BOOM. CHURCHED.

WORST

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SRY for the small pics I had to rip these off of twitter. Much like Solange ripped this Hefty bag out of her trash can, blew air into it and tied it around her legs to look like 2 giant vulvas.

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MAHM LIFE.

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None of this screams Catholic to me.

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Kim looks good obviously, but you can’t tout yourself as a huge celeb then show up to a themed event wearing a gold gown with a cross sticker slapped on the front. Talk about mailing it in.

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Selz is really into the babydoll gown and it’s just not the most flattering. Especially when you pair it with what my hair looks like in high humidity and a brown spray tan. Yikes.

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Ya’ll know my thoughts on Zendaya. She consistently looks like a garbage can on the red carpet and I do not support it.

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Hate to do it to good ole Geeg but this doesn’t have a wow factor AND it’s not on theme.

The Metropolitan Museum of Art's Costume Institute Benefit celebrating the opening of Heavenly Bodies: Fashion and the Catholic Imagination, Arrivals, New York, USA - 07 May 2018

Oh let’s just sew three completely different fabrics in different colors togets. Ok.

Heavenly Bodies: Fashion & The Catholic Imagination Costume Institute Gala - Arrivals

Sick block shoulders.

Heavenly Bodies: Fashion & The Catholic Imagination Costume Institute Gala - Arrivals

IDK what the fahk is going on here but Frances has HAD her time to shine this awards szn. Cut the crap here.

The Metropolitan Museum of Art's Costume Institute Benefit celebrating the opening of Heavenly Bodies: Fashion and the Catholic Imagination, Arrivals, New York, USA - 07 May 2018

There’s so many things that I can’t get on board with here. Clear stripper heels being the most prominent.

The Metropolitan Museum of Art's Costume Institute Benefit celebrating the opening of Heavenly Bodies: Fashion and the Catholic Imagination, Arrivals, New York, USA - 07 May 2018

I’m starting a new trend of just respecting the hell out of the assholes who overcommit to the theme because it makes it more fun but I just cannot give Katy Perry any sort of credit. Everything she does is annoying and I refuse to give her props for this outfit. If ANYONE else wore it I’d be like that’s awesome. But it’s her. And therefore, NOTHIN.

The Metropolitan Museum of Art's Costume Institute Benefit celebrating the opening of Heavenly Bodies: Fashion and the Catholic Imagination, Arrivals, New York, USA - 07 May 2018

I’m so perplexed by this? Are those cutouts over her boobs? And if so, why don’t we see nips? Also along the lines of Kimmy K, tossing a rosary on with your dress doesn’t make it Catholic.

Heavenly Bodies: Fashion & The Catholic Imagination Costume Institute Gala - Arrivals

Besides that skirt looking like a soft place to land for a nap, there’s nothing special about this outfit.

The Metropolitan Museum of Art's Costume Institute Benefit celebrating the opening of Heavenly Bodies: Fashion and the Catholic Imagination, Arrivals, New York, USA - 07 May 2018

This photograph literally will give me nightmares for the rest of time. Which might be a nice change up from my nightly reoccurring dream that I find out I’m pregnant AND i’m in labor in the same day. Not a dream I would wish on anyone.

Heavenly Bodies: Fashion & The Catholic Imagination Costume Institute Gala - Arrivals

WAITER.

Heavenly Bodies: Fashion & The Catholic Imagination Costume Institute Gala - Arrivals

First of all, she just had a baby. There BETTER be spanx on under that dress or I’ll be pissed. Second of all, no FOREVER to 90’s small shades.

The Metropolitan Museum of Art's Costume Institute Benefit celebrating the opening of Heavenly Bodies: Fashion and the Catholic Imagination, Arrivals, New York, USA - 07 May 2018

If this was a Michael Jackson tribute that would be fine.

Heavenly Bodies: Fashion & The Catholic Imagination Costume Institute Gala - Arrivals

There must’ve been a bargain price on this circular headdress because 90% of the females there were wearing it. This look by “SZA” (is that a name?) didn’t impress. Mostly because the giant circles of tulle just chillin at her waist.

Heavenly Bodies: Fashion & The Catholic Imagination Costume Institute Gala - Arrivals

If you’re old I would advise AGAINST the high pony.

Heavenly Bodies: Fashion & The Catholic Imagination Costume Institute Gala - Arrivals

This was a big deal with the youths because apparently these two are on that show Riverdale and made their debut as a couple for this event but like the bigger deal is those hard flare crop gauchos on this guy.

The Metropolitan Museum of Art's Costume Institute Benefit celebrating the opening of Heavenly Bodies: Fashion and the Catholic Imagination, Arrivals, New York, USA - 07 May 2018

Wasn’t she in that movie Letters to Juliet? Is this a costume from said movie?

The Metropolitan Museum of Art's Costume Institute Benefit celebrating the opening of Heavenly Bodies: Fashion and the Catholic Imagination, Arrivals, New York, USA - 07 May 2018

Amal’s so above Hollywood that she took “Catholicism” as Hawaiian floral pantsuit.

The Metropolitan Museum of Art's Costume Institute Benefit celebrating the opening of Heavenly Bodies: Fashion and the Catholic Imagination, Arrivals, New York, USA - 07 May 2018

I was watching Kate walk the red carpet and get photographed and she kept rapidly blinking and creepily moving her head like a doll. It was beyond creepy. That’s all I see when I look at this outfit.

The Metropolitan Museum of Art's Costume Institute Benefit celebrating the opening of Heavenly Bodies: Fashion and the Catholic Imagination, Arrivals, New York, USA - 07 May 2018

WHAT does neon blush have to do with anything. Also, sweet cherub chillin between your legs.

The Metropolitan Museum of Art's Costume Institute Benefit celebrating the opening of Heavenly Bodies: Fashion and the Catholic Imagination, Arrivals, New York, USA - 07 May 2018

No comment. I put this one up just because I laughed at it so hard.

Heavenly Bodies: Fashion & The Catholic Imagination Costume Institute Gala - Arrivals

Cover your ass in the house of the Lord, Zoe.

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The mighty have fallen. They win my best dressed last year and this year can’t even hang. What’s with the slicked hair, Tommy? Or the knockoff Belle dress, Gisele?

The Metropolitan Museum of Art's Costume Institute Benefit celebrating the opening of Heavenly Bodies: Fashion and the Catholic Imagination, Arrivals, New York, USA - 07 May 2018

This is straight out of the Hunger Games. I kinda want those boots though.

BEST

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I mean…could there be a more spectacular sight? No. No there cannot.

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I’d like to first point out how great it is that SJP brings Andy Cohen consistently to red carpets instead of her husband. Especially because you KNOW Matthew Broderick wouldn’t put up with this shit. Girl is wearing a tabernacle on her head. And check out Andy’s sparkle loafs WOOOO buddy. Head to toe assholeness and I love it.

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I usually shit real hard on Madonna’s Met Gala looks but spin zone, she made the best dressed because she is literally covering her entire face and body and for that I approve wholeheartedly. It was also brought to my attention that she looks like the below character from a horror movie and that makes me laugh a lot. Entertainment value: high.

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I’ve never seen a white pantsuit get werked harder. See? I can appreciate a Kardash every once in a while.

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There has never been a more Jesus lookin celebrity on this earth and I’m so happy Jared was willing to play into it. Lana, stop trying to steal his spotlight with daggers hanging out of your chesticles.

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This is my favorite event every year because it’s the only one that drags these two trolls out of the closet, typically wearing dark cloaks. I live for the once a year glimpse and I’m actually surprised they’re not both holding cigs here.

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Didn’t see an overwhelming amount of men’s fashion shots so I gotta give the guys a little love here. Baller move to go white and gold with a cape.

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I said the last cape was a baller move but this is a REAL baller move to flash that rainbow flag right in the church’s grillpiece.

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DAYUMN.

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Yeah you dress up that pre-marital baby bump, grrrrll. GOD SEES THAT.

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Almost as creepy as Kate Bosworth but I dig this look a little more. Can’t explain why. Probably because I judge outfits immediately based on no fashion expertise whatsoever.

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Honestly this ombre wrap of tulle looks real comfy to lay down and take a nap in. Dual purpose, probably.

Heavenly Bodies: Fashion & The Catholic Imagination Costume Institute Gala - Arrivals

Not over the top but I’m digging the red and gold halo combo.

Heavenly Bodies: Fashion & The Catholic Imagination Costume Institute Gala - Arrivals

Gabs just wore a yellow gown. Hate that she pulled that move when there were a billion things to do with this theme, but can’t knock the fact that she looks like a total babe soda.

The Metropolitan Museum of Art's Costume Institute Benefit celebrating the opening of Heavenly Bodies: Fashion and the Catholic Imagination, Arrivals, New York, USA - 07 May 2018

I just really love Michelle Williams and I think she looks good. That’s all.

The Metropolitan Museum of Art's Costume Institute Benefit celebrating the opening of Heavenly Bodies: Fashion and the Catholic Imagination, Arrivals, New York, USA - 07 May 2018

As previously mentioned, I’m all in on the red and gold. I’m all OUT on Tats McGee in the background struttin her stuff.

The Metropolitan Museum of Art's Costume Institute Benefit celebrating the opening of Heavenly Bodies: Fashion and the Catholic Imagination, Arrivals, New York, USA - 07 May 2018

HOW COOL IS THIS?! Sistine chapel ceiling ON YOUR GOWN. I’m obsessed.

Heavenly Bodies: Fashion & The Catholic Imagination Costume Institute Gala - Arrivals

I can always get down with a hood up. One time when I was younger I wore my hood up around the house so much that my parents made a rule no hoods in the house (I was going through an emo phase.) Either way, I wish it happened now so that I could show them hoods are ACTUALLY high fashion.

The Metropolitan Museum of Art's Costume Institute Benefit celebrating the opening of Heavenly Bodies: Fashion and the Catholic Imagination, Arrivals, New York, USA - 07 May 2018

This is how you tastefully tell everyone you’re an angel, KATY PERRY. Wear an actual halo.

The Metropolitan Museum of Art's Costume Institute Benefit celebrating the opening of Heavenly Bodies: Fashion and the Catholic Imagination, Arrivals, New York, USA - 07 May 2018

Again, another superior example to Katy Perry’s disaster. Here’s some cool ass wings that don’t stand erect like you’re holding your own VS Fashion Show. Well done, Evan.

Heavenly Bodies: Fashion & The Catholic Imagination Costume Institute Gala - Arrivals

Sup.

Heavenly Bodies: Fashion & The Catholic Imagination Costume Institute Gala - Arrivals

I think this is my favorite look of the night. She looks hot as hell.

Heavenly Bodies: Fashion & The Catholic Imagination Costume Institute Gala - Arrivals

No clue what this has to do with the theme but I would one day like to be rich enough to have over the knee boots made to match my dress exactly.

Heavenly Bodies: Fashion & The Catholic Imagination Costume Institute Gala - Arrivals

I like the dark lip and gold chainzzzz. Kind of Egyptian but whatever.

Heavenly Bodies: Fashion & The Catholic Imagination Costume Institute Gala - Arrivals

OK YES. Can I borrow this for the impending Royal nuptials? I don’t see anything wrong with wearing this in my living room at 7AM as I watch the wedding on TV.

The Metropolitan Museum of Art's Costume Institute Benefit celebrating the opening of Heavenly Bodies: Fashion and the Catholic Imagination, Arrivals, New York, USA - 07 May 2018

It says a lot about a person’s beauty if they can pull off blood tears and still look fab.

Heavenly Bodies: Fashion & The Catholic Imagination Costume Institute Gala - Arrivals

Another ignoring the theme but who cares because I’m rocking it sitch.

Heavenly Bodies: Fashion & The Catholic Imagination Costume Institute Gala - Arrivals

Last year Bella wore a see through jumpsuit. I like that she showed she has versatility and covered up for the man upstairs this year.

The Metropolitan Museum of Art's Costume Institute Benefit celebrating the opening of Heavenly Bodies: Fashion and the Catholic Imagination, Arrivals, New York, USA - 07 May 2018

OBVIOUSLY the look of the night was RiRi coming as the actual Pope. Kills me every time I look at it. Especially with that mean mug. Like yeah I’m wearing the pope’s hat, my tits and my bits hanging out, with a pearl anklet. YOU WANNA FIGHT?

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