Red Carpet

CMA’s Red Carpet 2021

HEY Y’ALL it’s your annual reminder that CABLE IS BONKERS STUPID and if I’m paying a subscription service to get cable why are they NOT tossing in the primetime networks for free? Pilfering cable logins just to get my awards show fix is getting REAL OLD. But that certainly didn’t stop me from doing it again last night. Shout out to my ex boyf’s parents who still love me enough to let me steal their login, feels good to be the golden child for once, even if it’s someone else’s family. I’ll take what I can get. #Grateful that I was able to shove salami and garlic stuffed olives into my facehole at warp speed last night while I HECKLED this awards show from the comfort of my couch. The fact that my out loud awards show commentary BY MYSELF isn’t a reality show at this point makes me really question the future of entertainment. Ratings would soar for the rosé-infused slob kebab in fleece PJ’s shouting “HE’S NOT NEW” when Jimmie Allen is awarded “Best New Artist” and then proceeding to ROAST him for crying as he accepted the award and admitting that he spent his last $50 on attending the CMA Awards a few years ago and he was living out of his car. With all due respect, I call bullshit, good sir. YOUR LAST FIFTY DOLLARS?! YOU SPENT IT ON A CONCERT?! Yeh. Ok. Anyone who has only $50 left is homeless. Let’s cut the shit on the rags to riches story. We get it, you’re grateful. We don’t need an overdramatized backstory. WoooOoo baby, I came in hot and for that I do not apologize. Get used to it. Best of luck to anyone who walked this red carpet cause I’m about to go IN.

WORST DRESSED

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This is too damn much and if we’re being really honest, I’m kinda over Carrie’s sourpuss. As the most outspoken A-list country singer against the vaccine, they panned to her immediately after Luke Bryan’s “immunized” Aaron Rodgers “joke” and Carrie looked irritated as hell to be there. HAVE A SENSE OF HUMOR ONE TIME. She’s giving off REAL betch vibes lately and I’m ready to smack that stank face right off her.

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Two words: Leather Poop. Brown leather, REALLY KATY?! Come on. Not only is this a giant couch flavored turd but it’s unflattering as hell. I guarantee Katy is skinny as possible and yet this is hugging every crevice making her look like she’s preggers.

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This was my “what fresh hell is this?!” moment of the night. Maren will literally never stop getting as close to topless as she can get on primetime and hubby decided to compliment his wife’s constant near nip slip with a poop suit and Hef slippers. Her whoutfit isn’t even tailored to her miniature height. It’s just dragging on the ground like a pair of JNCO jeans.

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Meh. Plain black dress with Elle Woods pink clutch. Whatevs. Not awful but also LAME.

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Puff the magic dragon all up in ya with this sleeve/shoulder flare.

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Sorry pal, you know the rules. You wear a plain ass black suit amongst guys who actually take a risk and you can F all the way off onto the worst dressed list.

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I’ve never seen a more mismatched couple. We’ve got this Judah Friedlander-lookin ass on the left going for hipster thrift store finds I only drink PBR “sTyLe” and then ice dancer pageant queen on his arm. Like she’s 100% looking for ABC to pick her up for this year’s Miss America.

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I’m scrolling through red carpet looks and was the MOST taken aback by stumbling upon Susan Sarandon holding that tiny red clutch front and center. I’ll take WILDLY out of place for $500, Alex. Susan and her kit and caboodle purse with matching Dorothy heels took a sharp left turn out of The Polo Lounge and ended up at the Honky Tonk and she looks v. uncomfy. The white suit! The pearl necklace! Every detail of this look is church on Sunday.

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If you’re going to rock a skin tight pair of Tiger King hot pants you’re A-S-K-I-N-G for it. The “it” I’m referring to is of course me vomiting all over your fashion choices. I get this chick is going for carefree gypsy with moonstones and funky blazer but TIGER PANTS? REALLY, BABES?! (I heard Adele call someone babes in her cool AF British accent and this will now be a thing I try to shove down everyone’s throats for about one week until I forget all about it.)

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I feel like Russell is usually trendy as hell serving some looks with a funky color or pattern and PLAIN BLACK IS DEAD TO ME. I also just find this top heavy rhinestone sitch on his lady to be tacky. I’m bored with this. We’ve had over a year of cancelling awards shows and events and zooming instead of red carpets and I want my socks knocked off my damn feet with everyone’s comeback. IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK?! Take a risk, homeslices! (I’m cackling as I type that because the MINUTE someone does something risky fashion-wise I also put them on the worst dressed list. And that’s why I’m a loser who wears a fanny pack and not a fashion critic y’all.)

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What in JoAnn’s Fabrics is happening here?! Rogue appliqué flowers and *ONE* glitter boob?! What’s the right one got that the left one doesn’t?! Why does she get her moment to walk in the sun as a sparkly spectacle and lefty is just covered in plain ole pleats? THE INEQUALITY. And then you tack on cross dangle earrings?! Girl, pick a damn lane. Also, not for nothing but were the stylists really pushing the smoking loafers this year for men or WHAT?!

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Dierks please for the love of God get rid of that mullet. You look suave as hell and then it’s that neck music that’s making me want to puke in my hands. And again, real ice dancer vibes in his lady. 

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Hard to pull off a classy Hamptons white party look when you’ve got a shag rug of chest hair protruding from your wife beater and we can see your ankle socks peeking out of your black shoes. What a G-D disaster. Plus, their whites don’t even match. She’s in white and he’s in cream. Who approved this?! For the record, this woman looks stunning. Beautiful, simple gown, her only cross to bear is Fozzy Bear on her left.

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I wore a black shin-length skirt to my first bar mitzfah that had a very prominent baby pink ribbon around the waist that I took as a clear sign I should match it to my top, thus creating a hideous black and baby pink combo that I’m sure was kewl for 6th graders getting hopped up on Mountain Dew and moshing to Sk8er Boi but it has FOREVER scarred me to this color combo. Sorry my own poor fashion choices have created this bias but I really started to get the sweats when I first laid eyes on this suit. I can’t relive 6th grade guys. I bet I had watermelon pink rubber bands in my braces too. WUPH.

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No joke I looked at last year’s blog and was fully convinced either it was the same photo or Old Dominion pulled a prank and showed up in the exact same outfits as the year before. I guess if it ain’t broke don’t fix it. But also, maybe fix it.

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Saved the worst for last!!! What a putrid duo. Did these two dum dums think this year’s CMA’s was a costume party? Halloween was a couple weeks ago, honies. Tweed and satin and puffy floating sleeves and rhinestones and patterned tights, OH MY. KILL IT WITH FIRE. Even Kermit would sip his tea and be like hmm, not for me.

BEST DRESSED

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Quite frankly I’m mesmerized by that teeny tiny waist on Caroline. What a rocket she is. Luke’s fine. Whatever. I couldn’t help but notice he’s looking a little Ken doll lately. Sometimes less is more with the plastic surgery, my man.

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From one hat gal to another, I love that she’s rocking the hell out of this outlaw cap with badass braids and adding a little shimmer n shine to it only made me love it more. Not super flattering to have your top in the shape of an arrow pointing to the part of your body that naturally gets wider but hey you win some, you lose some.

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Dan + Shay knew we were two nights away from getting Red (Taylor’s Version) and decided to serve us with some pumpkin spice latte coordinated fall lewks. I can always jive with a seasonal theme and these two look like they’d bring a homemade pie to Thanksgiving and whisper sweet nothings into your ear while you snuggle on the couch as the Tryptophan sets in. Did I just turn two earth tone suits into fan fiction? Mind your business.

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Last year I delivered some hard truths to Jason: “Change it up, Aldean. Am I being kinda harsh? Yeah. Get over it. Let’s see something other than 90’s era jeans with a chain, loafer boots, graphic tee and cowboy hat. SPICE IT UP.”

AND LOOK WHAT WE HAVE HERE. Jason Aldean must be a Salty because he HEARD me. Fitted black pants and a SILVER jacket, Ok, I see you BB!

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I spent a significant amount of time this weekend mulling over a purchase (discount of course) of a Cher Horowitz style plaid skirt. I love that this trend is coming back hoard and although I decided against purchasing the skirt, it was only because I have 0 friends and 0 places to be and I’m not about to waste fashionable separates on the couch. But then I saw this full plaid suit and I got the plaid tingles and the moral of the story here is I’ll probably purchase a plaid skirt and wear it around my apt just for the sheer joy of Tartan.

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We’re doing a lightning round of male appreciation here and this purple suit is hot 2 trot.

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Luke Combs is a back country man. The kind of guy that would probably rather be in a dive bar drinking Coors Light but also happens to have mad talent and I love the fact that he played it up for the red carpet. He probably felt like a real asshat wearing a velvet jacket and fancy boots but I tell ya boys, trendy evening wear every once in a while won’t kill ya.

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The goons of FGL were CONSISTENTLY on my worst dressed list for like the first five years they graced red carpets. They were showing up in denim vests and feathers and drug rugs and all sorts of hats and bandanas and acid washed jeans. Their style was atrocious and they LOVED that about themselves. The minute I saw this photo I was like HA. Doesn’t matter if you’re rich or poor, famous or a loser, you get wifed up and that is IT for your experimental fashion. Every single woman cuts the shit with that REAL quick and starts dressing their mans. So I’d like to thank wifey for this transition. She’s killin it in this gown and Tyler looks debonair (never thought I’d see the day where I’d use that word to describe this hobo.)

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Hot Diggity Dog, Jennifer slayed the performances with her powerhouse voice but before she could do that, she had to show up in a literal lace corset and pop that bangin body. I’m obsessed.

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99.9% sure I also crapped on Darius last year for pulling the plain black tux out of his b*hole (AND he was host) so once again, we’ve proved that my blog is the top source for fashion goss among male country singers because he was CLEARLY like I better switch it up or The Salty Ju will come for me. It’s not lost on me how important my opinion is to my zillions of followers. So yeah Darius, ya crushed it by going for my weakness which is a royal blue suit every damn time. Fre$h to death.

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Is Nicole Kidman going through a sexual reawakening? Because normally she’s giving off strong 75 year old witch vibes and last night she was arching that back and poppin that leg, booboo. Proud of her. And obviously I already drooled all over Aldean’s silver jacket and Keith is also rocking it. Metallic is my jam.

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Last time I saw Mickey she was preggers and now she’s wearing a SKIN-TIGHT white gown. That’s as bold as bold gets. She looks PHENOMENAL.

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What a snake move for them to pose as a group every year because the majority of the time they all look like duds except for one. Keep riding Kimberly’s feathers onto my best dressed list, Little Big Town. See if I care! But seriously, what a sassy fun party frock and the rest of them are attending a funeral.

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I’m very into the white Martha Stewart turtleneck moment we’re having here. Classy and elegant!

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Carly Pearce went through a public divorce from Michael Ray this year after being married for a whole five minutes and GREAT NEWS everyone judging completely by this one evening, she’s winning the breakup. She looks like a bombshell and she won female vocalist of the year. AND she smooched a hottie before accepting the award. That’s how you turn lemons into lemonade, yo.

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This hot pink and silver loudness makes me happy. I don’t know if it’s because I’m making direct correlations to Barbie or if it’s the couples coordination or what it is. So kewl outfit but you still didn’t spend your last $50 attending the CMA’s while you were living in a car, I rest my case.

 

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Look at this cherub in maroon. Missing his better half but I’m guessing she’s about to pop with their 4th kiddo and a red carpet wasn’t sounding spicy for her. Props to TR for holding down the fort in fashion.

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I want the shiny white gown. I realize that the actual nominee in this photo is the dude and he looks nice and all but Katie Stevens was an actress in the all-time classic chick show The Bold Type and I follow her on Insta and when she posted this photo supporting her huz, all I could think about was how I want this dress. Whatta babe.

 

FAVE LOOK OF THE NIGHT AND IT AIN’T EVEN A COMPETITION:

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TENILLE TOWNES, DO YOUR THANG, GIRL! I mean WOO I nearly fainted when I saw this photo. She is OWNING this sultry red power suit. And worth noting that Tenille will always have a supporter in The Salty Ju because in addition to serving looks, she also happens to be the sweetest human on this earth. Kindness, talent and a bangin bod will get you EVERYWHERE, folks! Take that to the MF’ing bank.

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JUice

Weekly JUice

Week of 11/11/19

1. Sexiest Man Alive.

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I know that I once wrote a very heated takedown of People for their shitty choices in Sexiest Man Alive, based solely on the fact that they’ve never crowned Ryan Gosling but over the years, my anger has simmered because obviously this whole thing is rigged anyway. I’m ok with John Legend. I don’t feel triggered or slighted. I feel like he’s a lovable character who has talent out the wazoo and looks like someone you might want to cuddle with, so sure, let’s call him sexy. What I don’t feel GREAT about is that Chrissy Teigen’s twitter antics probably pulled more weight with this nomination than anything else. Everyone knows she likes to get fired up on twitter and come at people. She’s the hot, dirty-mouthed sassy B wife to John’s gentle and tender doe of a personality. I don’t doubt for a second that the higher up’s at People were like what will create buzz? Someone with a mouthy wife on social media that everyone thinks is hilarious. And boy did she have us all eating out of the palm of her hand. Poppin offfff on Twitter. And for that, I’m like eh I might be out. It’s overplayed. We get it. You’re unfiltered. So am I. People don’t think I’m that funny either. And I recognize that. (See #5 where I show you that people on Twitter like very unfunny things.)

 

2a. Combat. She’s Ready For Combat.

Tay has assembled a Swift army. LITERALLY. Like how baller do you have to be to just write a note on social media that gears thousands of fans up for combat for your music from a bunch of mean ole music industry bullies. If you haven’t kept abreast of the music drama, Tay left her record label, the head then partnered with Scooter Braun and told her that they owned everything she wrote while signed with that record label. Which was like her entire career leading up to this album. She called them out, Justin Bieber made fun of her then she announced she’d be re-recording all her old songs so that they’re hers again. We all forgot this happened. Cut to last night when she releases this manifesto and suddenly THEY’RE NOT LETTING HER PERFORM ANY OF HER MATERIAL?! UH, UH HONAY. I worship at the ground of awards shows and if she’s not allowed to perform the hits, I will RIOT. Apparently, so will everyone else. Here’s all her buds stepping up on social media for her.

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Naturally, Big Machine released a statement that if I may paraphrase here, said: Nah, she’s lyin. And like honestly after what happened with Kim/Kanye and Taylor before, do you THINK SHE’S GONNA CALL SOMEONE OUT LIKE THIS IF SHE DOESN’T HAVE PROOF?! So I’m waiting with baited breath for her to pull out those receipts y’all.

2b. Collaborashawn.

Taylor’s having a real big week. She deserved a two-parter here. Technically 3 if we want to recognize her new song for Cats as well, which we do not. That movie looks creepy as hell. Out of everything on Lover, the title track seems to be the most TAY and most unique. She wrote the whole thing by herself and it’s ooooooooooobviously about her plain bagel of a boyfriend. So when she dropped this remix this week I was real perplexed. Seems like the last one she would want someone to re-write and collab on but hey, it’s her world, we’re all just living in it. Although it doesn’t hold a candle to the original, I’m a fan of Shawn’s smooth vocals and I think it’s nice enough to give a cool gurl head nod. To say his portion of the song is a love letter to Camila is a little TOO much. Let’s pump the brakes, they’ve been dating like 5 minutes. I don’t think he’d really wanna go down with the Titanic for her. Leo tried that one time and it really backfired for him.

3. Demi’s New Mans

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Always a Demi stan, I’ve been rooting for her to keep it together ever since her overdose a little over a year ago now. I worry about her and like to see that she’s doing well–you know–by what she chooses to show me on social media because unfortunately she doesn’t text me on the reg like JLo does. There were some rumors that she was getting after a Bachelorette contestant, but those are squashed now that she’s made this public coupling with this cotton candy colored hair jabroni. Apparently he’s a model. He also posted a pic on his account so YOU KNOW IT’S REAL. And if you can’t already tell from my tone, I do not approve. Girl’s got too much going on to focus on a relashe right now. And that’s my completely unsolicited and unwelcome relationship advice for this week.

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4. I’m Confused.

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I lied. I got more unwelcome bits for these two ladies. I saw this article on People earlier this week shouting out Selena and her BFF Julia Michaels. Apparently they’re on a real hot streak lately of Bff’in. They performed together, Selena just attended Julia’s 90’s themed birthday bash and now they’ve gotten matching tats of arrows that point to each other when they hold hands. And People is like aren’t they just the cutest besties you’ve ever seen? No. No they are not. Name one pair of friends who kiss on the lips and get hand holding matching tattoos. NAME ONE. I got very passionate about this super casj article considering we are HOT OFF THE HEELS of Miley and Katelyn. Those two are smooching all over the joint and they’re having a lez fling, these two are basically doing the same thing and they’re just BFF goals. WHERE IS THE LINE, HOLLYWOOD?! I really really don’t understand it. Someone explain it to me because I have never once, nor will I ever smooch a friend on the lips. Am I doing friendships wrong? Pls advise.

5. Twitter is Garbage.

I watched the CMA’s on Wednesday  (blogged the red carpet) and got a Halsey boner, so I sent out a very PG, unfunny tweet into the twittersphere, giving props to the performance, which I encourage you to watch below:

My tweet went viral–well viral for someone who gets maximum 6 likes on a tweet. In fact, I’m still gaining new followers and getting action on this tweet and it’s more than 24 hours later. Here is my stupid ass tweet.

I’d just like to let all of my new “fans” and followers know, that I think I’m hilarious. And I spend a significant amount of time crafting the perfect tweets as if I’m writing a punchline for my own well-attended Netflix stand up special. AND THIS IS THE ONE YOU MF’ERS RECOGNIZE?! FOR REAL? I used to live-tweet every awards show like I was being paid to do it and NOTHIN. Never recognized for my obvious talent. Now all the sudden I say I ❤ Halsey and everyone’s coming out of the woodwork. I guess that’s the power of Halsey. Now I know what the Chainsmokers feel like. Outshined by a gal from Jersey. So if you’ve stumbled upon my rarely-viewed blog because I tweeted about Halsey, WELCOME. I am here to entertain and make you laugh and if you don’t think I’m funny then get the hell out of here because I only like to interact with people who pump my tires like my co-workers who all told me I kill it on Twitter. Shout out to them for perpetrating the biggest Twitter head I’ve ever had. Also today’s my half birthday and my Venmo is open for monetary gifts to celebrate the occasion of being 6 months closer to the impending doom of thirty. That may seem abrupt and unrelated, but if you peep my tweet about it from last year below: you’ll see that I brought it full circle by pointing out yet another funny tweet that has one measly like. And also, I still genuinely don’t know how old I am. PLUS I’m trying to capitalize on my new following. So I’m not THAT dumb.

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Red Carpet, Television

CMA Awards Red Carpet 2015

I particularly love doing Country red carpets because they’re the only awards shows where the men have equally as sassy outfits, if not more eye-grabbing than their lady counterparts. Don’t eva try to hold a country man down with their loud print suits and staple headwear. So even though most of you look like you scrapped together suits from the leftovers at a seamstress, I applaud you for keeping things spicy and going there instead of sticking to a boring black tux.

WORST:

NASHVILLE, TN - NOVEMBER 04: Singer-songwriter Chase Bryant attends the 49th annual CMA Awards at the Bridgestone Arena on November 4, 2015 in Nashville, Tennessee. (Photo by John Shearer/WireImage)

Exhibit A of above rant. Shiny teal patterned jacket, chesties, and Jimmy Neutron hair. Thanks for being you, men of country.

NASHVILLE, TN - NOVEMBER 04: Karen Fairchild of Little Big Town attends the 49th annual CMA Awards at the Bridgestone Arena on November 4, 2015 in Nashville, Tennessee. (Photo by John Shearer/WireImage)

I want to like this but it looks like she’s wearing a dress with spiderwebs all over it. And I really hate spiders.

Kimberly Schlapman, of Little Big Town, arrives at the 49th annual CMA Awards at the Bridgestone Arena on Wednesday, Nov. 4, 2015, in Nashville, Tenn. (Photo by Evan Agostini/Invision/AP)

Sweet black armpit flaps.

NASHVILLE, TN - NOVEMBER 04: (L-R) Jay DeMarcus, Gary LeVox, and Joe Don Rooney of Rascal Flatts attend the 49th annual CMA Awards at the Bridgestone Arena on November 4, 2015 in Nashville, Tennessee. (Photo by Michael Loccisano/Getty Images)

Thank God one of them wore black or this would’ve been a real eye sore sitch for Rascal. Oh wait…

04 Nov 2015, Nashville, Tennessee, USA --- 04 November 2015 - Nashville, Tennessee - Kimberly Williams-Paisley. 49th CMA Awards, Country Music's Biggest Night, held at Bridgestone Arena. Photo Credit: Laura Farr/AdMedia --- Image by © Laura Farr/AdMedia/AdMedia/Corbis

Seems like maybe Kimberly bought this dress off Etsy.

NASHVILLE, TN - NOVEMBER 04: Musician Ashley Monroe attends the 49th annual CMA Awards at the Bridgestone Arena on November 4, 2015 in Nashville, Tennessee. (Photo by Jon Kopaloff/FilmMagic)

I think wrapping a hot pink twin bedsheet around my body for a toga party in college was more flattering than this.

NASHVILLE, TN - NOVEMBER 04: Musician Jason Aldean attends the 49th annual CMA Awards at the Bridgestone Arena on November 4, 2015 in Nashville, Tennessee. (Photo by John Shearer/WireImage)

Jason will probably never make my best dressed list, so I hope he’s kewl with that.

NASHVILLE, TN - NOVEMBER 04: Actress Erika Christensen attends the 49th annual CMA Awards at the Bridgestone Arena on November 4, 2015 in Nashville, Tennessee. (Photo by John Shearer/WireImage)

This is the epitome of a horrendous bridesmaids dress from 1993. Also why is Erika Christensen at the CMAs?

NASHVILLE, TN - NOVEMBER 04: Musician Steven Tyler attends the 49th annual CMA Awards at the Bridgestone Arena on November 4, 2015 in Nashville, Tennessee. (Photo by John Shearer/WireImage)

You know what would be really wild? If Steven showed up in a slick tuxedo. That would turn some heads.

NASHVILLE, TN - NOVEMBER 04: Preston Brust (L) and Chris Lucas of LoCash Cowboys attend the 49th annual CMA Awards at the Bridgestone Arena on November 4, 2015 in Nashville, Tennessee. (Photo by Michael Loccisano/Getty Images)

We have a TRUCKER HAT. I REPEAT, A TRUCKER HAT. And once you get past the shock of 2003 Ashton Kutcher, a white fedora, matching jacket combo deal.

NASHVILLE, TN - NOVEMBER 04: Singer Danielle Bradbery attends the 49th annual CMA Awards at the Bridgestone Arena on November 4, 2015 in Nashville, Tennessee. (Photo by John Shearer/WireImage)

Not really understanding this idea of sheer paneled legs. Just wear a short dress and call it a day.

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No thank you, Jennifer Nettles.

NASHVILLE, TN - NOVEMBER 04: Musician Scotty McCreery attends the 49th annual CMA Awards at the Bridgestone Arena on November 4, 2015 in Nashville, Tennessee. (Photo by Jon Kopaloff/FilmMagic)

He’s already pretty creeps and then throws on an embroidered jacket so that didn’t really help things.

NASHVILLE, TN - NOVEMBER 04: Dan Smyers and Shay Mooney of Dan + Shay attend the 49th annual CMA Awards at the Bridgestone Arena on November 4, 2015 in Nashville, Tennessee. (Photo by John Shearer/WireImage)

The hair ruins everything for me here. Gelled pompadours AREN’T cool.

NASHVILLE, TN - NOVEMBER 04: Singer Cam attends the 49th annual CMA Awards at the Bridgestone Arena on November 4, 2015 in Nashville, Tennessee. (Photo by John Shearer/WireImage)

This dress reminds me of a mix between banana peels and leaves, either way it’s too weird

BEST:

NASHVILLE, TN - NOVEMBER 04: Songwriter Kyle Jacobs and musical artist Kellie Pickler attend the 49th annual CMA Awards at the Bridgestone Arena on November 4, 2015 in Nashville, Tennessee. (Photo by Michael Loccisano/Getty Images)

This is really classy and elegant, especially for 1 out of 100 country awards. You go, grl.

NASHVILLE, TN - NOVEMBER 04: Musical duo Lennon & Maisy attend the 49th annual CMA Awards at the Bridgestone Arena on November 4, 2015 in Nashville, Tennessee. (Photo by Michael Loccisano/Getty Images)

Why couldn’t the Conrad sisters perform? THAT would be must-see TV.

NASHVILLE, TN - NOVEMBER 04: Singer-songwriter Kacey Musgraves attends the 49th annual CMA Awards at the Bridgestone Arena on November 4, 2015 in Nashville, Tennessee. (Photo by Michael Loccisano/Getty Images)

Kacey threw me a curveball tonight. No arts and crafts accessories, no beehive hairstyle, she just looks pretty.

NASHVILLE, TN - NOVEMBER 04: John Osborne and T.J. Osborne of Brothers Osborne attend the 49th annual CMA Awards at the Bridgestone Arena on November 4, 2015 in Nashville, Tennessee. (Photo by Michael Loccisano/Getty Images)

Beard’s got a weird jacket vibe going on but leather jacket Osborne is doing all sorts of things for me.

NASHVILLE, TN - NOVEMBER 04: Singer-songwriter Lee Ann Womack attends the 49th annual CMA Awards at the Bridgestone Arena on November 4, 2015 in Nashville, Tennessee. (Photo by Michael Loccisano/Getty Images)

LeAnn with a sassy little frock. Showing Carrie she’s not the only country singer with stems!

04 November 2015 - Nashville, Tennessee - Thomas Rhett, Lauren Gregory. 49th CMA Awards, Country Music's Biggest Night, held at Bridgestone Arena. Photo Credit: Laura Farr/AdMedia

Thomas Rhett was out shined by his smokeshow wife and her dress that I’m obsessed with.

NASHVILLE, TN - NOVEMBER 04: Singer Miranda Lambert attends the 49th annual CMA Awards at the Bridgestone Arena on November 4, 2015 in Nashville, Tennessee. (Photo by Michael Loccisano/Getty Images)

What do you do when you’re about to see your ex-husband in front of the cameras for the first time? Dye your hair pink, duh.

NASHVILLE, TN - NOVEMBER 04: Singer-songwriter Sam Hunt attends the 49th annual CMA Awards at the Bridgestone Arena on November 4, 2015 in Nashville, Tennessee. (Photo by John Shearer/WireImage)

A fall-influenced suit. Hell yeah.

NASHVILLE, TN - NOVEMBER 04: Singer-songwriter Cole Swindell attends the 49th annual CMA Awards at the Bridgestone Arena on November 4, 2015 in Nashville, Tennessee. (Photo by John Shearer/WireImage)

I’m willing to overlook the baseball cap for this spicy burgundy suit on Cole.

NASHVILLE, TN - NOVEMBER 04: Model Hannah Davis attends the 49th annual CMA Awards at the Bridgestone Arena on November 4, 2015 in Nashville, Tennessee. (Photo by John Shearer/WireImage)

Slow whistle for the future Mrs. Jeter. Hot diggity damn.

Justin Timberlake arrives at the 49th annual CMA Awards at the Bridgestone Arena on Wednesday, Nov. 4, 2015, in Nashville, Tenn. (Photo by Evan Agostini/Invision/AP)

Everyone knows all JT needs to do is show up and he makes my best dressed list. Shameless.

NASHVILLE, TN - NOVEMBER 04: Recording artist Luke Bryan attends the 49th annual CMA Awards at the Bridgestone Arena on November 4, 2015 in Nashville, Tennessee. (Photo by John Shearer/WireImage)

Luke never fails to dazzle me but all I need from his is a white tee and baseball cap.

NASHVILLE, TN - NOVEMBER 04: Recording artist Brett Eldredge attends the 49th annual CMA Awards at the Bridgestone Arena on November 4, 2015 in Nashville, Tennessee. (Photo by Michael Loccisano/Getty Images)

My boo.

NASHVILLE, TN - NOVEMBER 04: Actor Riley Smith attends the 49th annual CMA Awards at the Bridgestone Arena on November 4, 2015 in Nashville, Tennessee. (Photo by Michael Loccisano/Getty Images)

Latest installment of “if you guest star on Nashville you get an invite to the CMA’s.” I don’t hate it. More Riley Smith for me!

NASHVILLE, TN - NOVEMBER 04: Recording artist Darius Rucker attends the 49th annual CMA Awards at the Bridgestone Arena on November 4, 2015 in Nashville, Tennessee. (Photo by John Shearer/WireImage)

I may hate Hootie gone country but I can respect tha hell outta this bloutfit.

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I can get all down with this salsa number.

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Didn’t get enough hot pink tonight and I like this one a lot. David Nail you look nice as well.

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All because two people fell in love…they get invites to every Hollywood event ever. All in on Shawn’s suit, hard pass on Kaitlyn’s dress. I’ve seen a bajillion better outfits on her.

NASHVILLE, TN - NOVEMBER 04: Musical duo Shawna Thompson and Keifer Thompson of Thompson Square attend the 49th annual CMA Awards at the Bridgestone Arena on November 4, 2015 in Nashville, Tennessee. (Photo by Michael Loccisano/Getty Images)

Thompson Square looking glam city.

NASHVILLE, TN - NOVEMBER 04: Singer-songwriter Cassadee Pope attends the 49th annual CMA Awards at the Bridgestone Arena on November 4, 2015 in Nashville, Tennessee. (Photo by John Shearer/WireImage)

Usually the one sleeve thing is a little jarring but I’m alright with this scandal.

04 November 2015 - Nashville, Tennessee - Jana Kramer, Mike Caussin. 49th CMA Awards, Country Music's Biggest Night, held at Bridgestone Arena. Photo Credit: Laura Farr/AdMedia *** Please Use Credit from Credit Field ***

If you follow Jana on insta, you would know she’s preggers because she makes sure to directly comment on her bump in every post so it makes perfect sense that her hand is essentially glued to her baby belly on the red carpet. Also fist bump for putting the pregnancy rack on display.

NASHVILLE, TN - NOVEMBER 04: Singer-songwriter Kelsea Ballerini attends the 49th annual CMA Awards at the Bridgestone Arena on November 4, 2015 in Nashville, Tennessee. (Photo by John Shearer/WireImage)

Princess Kelsea. Glad she made it to the CMA’s this year because her songs are fire flames and she’s a little cutie.

NASHVILLE, TN - NOVEMBER 04: Singer-songwriter Dustin Lynch attends the 49th annual CMA Awards at the Bridgestone Arena on November 4, 2015 in Nashville, Tennessee. (Photo by John Shearer/WireImage)

Ignore the stupid pose, ignore the stupid pose.

Kimberly Perry, of The Band Perry, arrives at the 49th annual CMA Awards at the Bridgestone Arena on Wednesday, Nov. 4, 2015, in Nashville, Tenn. (Photo by Evan Agostini/Invision/AP)

The Sleek Perry

NASHVILLE, TN - NOVEMBER 04: Singer-songwriter Tyler Farr attends the 49th annual CMA Awards at the Bridgestone Arena on November 4, 2015 in Nashville, Tennessee. (Photo by John Shearer/WireImage)

I love this peacoat material jacket. Sophisticated AND trendy.

Reid Perry, of The Band Perry, arrive at the 49th annual CMA Awards at the Bridgestone Arena on Wednesday, Nov. 4, 2015, in Nashville, Tenn. (Photo by Evan Agostini/Invision/AP)

I laughed out loud when I saw Perry Bro 1 with his messy bun and realized this is EXACTLY what my hair looks like when I toss it up at the end of the day. Not sure if that’s a commentary on me or him.

Fave Look of the Night:

November 4, 2015 Nashville, Tn. Carrie Underwood 49th Annual Country Music Association Awards held at the Bridgestone Arena © Curtis Hilbun / AFF-USA.COM

She may have 12 outfit changes throughout the evening but her red carpet look did it for me.

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