Music, Red Carpet

ACM’s Red Carpet

HEY GUYS! It’s one out of 1000 country music awards! Except these ones are GREAT because Luke Bryan co-hosts with Blake Shelton and therefore I get to spend a lot of time staring at my TV and drooling over Lukey. Generally the country boys really show up for these awards, fashion-wise. There were a couple disappointments but overall the southern gentlemen were looking fre$h in their Sunday best.

Worst:

Shweet Curtains.

The Mickey Mouse Ears covering her boobs aren’t doing things for me.

WHY DO MEN STILL THINK IT’S OK TO WEAR POWDER BLUE. IT’S NOT.

Montel is here for some reason, and he borrowed this outfit from an ice dancer.

Damn it, Nick. You’re a smoke and you decided to wear this?! He looks like a caricature of Woody from Toy Story.

Jana, this dress makes me dizzy.

Frankie Ballard as the Circus ring leader of the evening.

Why is Jamie Lyn Spears here?

This is his “awards show” short sleeve plaid shirt.

Hate to do it but I don’t like this dress at all. She redeems herself real quick during the awards though.

Was there a 2 for 1 special at the barber, Dan & Shay?

Prom Barbie

Nottttt a flattering dress

I mean…

Why is Darius wearing the same shades that the old blind guy in the Sandlot wore?

Might I remind everyone that at the CMA’s, this girl performed in basically a sparkle t-shirt. Clearly she has something against covering her lady bits.

Best:

Red sass on sass.

Boys, this is how you do blue. Take notes.

Classic look for Kellie Pickler

Best dressed couple of the night. Best dressed couple of ever.

Chase lookin polished and classy.

Dierks with the plaid sass is fresh to death.

Don’t think I didn’t try to crop his wife out.

Left Osborne-Yes, Right Osborne-No (Powder Blue rule…)

FGL NO VESTS. GET IT, BOYS.

Hunter in a grown up suit.

Kacey didn’t do anything flashy or weird and for that I commend her on the best dressed.

YASS.

Keith is so cool guy rocker it hurts.

The disco ball twins went for it.

Sam Hunt ❤

Don’t even know who this is and it was my fave of the night, easily.

PURPLE SUIT. ALL THE AWARDS.

Movies, Pop Culture, Red Carpet

MTV Movie Awards Red Carpet

Totes wasn’t going to do a best/worst dressed for this awards show but then I saw too many looks worthy of blogging, so here we are. MTV award shows generally means that everyone thinks they can dress zany, which usually goes horribly.

Worst Dressed:

Bai Ling. No. no. no. Apparently she called this creature her boyfriend. Sounds about right.

Charli XCX keeping it weird as always with this rain jacket sitch. Not even her worst outfit.

Hey we get it Emily, you got famous for shaking your tits to Blurred Lines, we can Youtube it…we don’t need to always see them.

Speaking of having their rack on display, Farrah’s boobs that she purchased with a loan from the bank.

I can honestly say that I don’t like one single aspect of this outfit.

Jessie J usually looks like a smoke and for whatever reason her stylist dressed her as a middle aged DMV employee going to a steak dinner in Milwaukee.

I think this is a denim tube top. We can’t really call it a dress when it doesn’t even cover her hoo-ha. Either way, puke.

This individual’s name is Machine Gun Kelly. Knowing that, the pose and outfit all make perfect sense.

I want to love the bold suit choice but this is just too clown for me.

Quick beach day, bruh.

I love Shai but I’ve seen her look 1 trillion times better. Not into the mom jeans and mixed patterns. Def into her side braid.

Best Dressed:

The Host herself pulling off the sassy updos and tight black minis all night long. Crushed it.

Is Anders Holm dressed kinda like a dad with those sneaks? Yeah but he looks adorbs, so I let him cruise onto the Best Dressed.

These colors are so springy and fab. Anna Camp knows how to dress fun without looking outrageous. Also my fave look of the night I think.

Just zany enough but not too much to be wearing Godzilla on your body

I’ve never been in love with Pink and Red but this is so simple that it works.

Love the outfit, hate the slicked hair.

JLo actually covered up a little more nipple, no?

Miles Teller is SO cool guy in this outfit.

Natt Wolf sneaky coming for the title of Cool Guy. Just needs some shades on that v neck.

YES. Rebel owns this hot pink cape.

ScarJo going modest and looking like a summer peach.

Sassy sparkle mini. Hellz yeah.

MATTY SARACEN. YOU ARE A DREAM. TEXAS FOREVER, 7.

Movies, Red Carpet, Television

Oscars Red Carpet 2015

This is the last time this season that I’ll get to snark all over famous people in designer dresses while I wear an oversized tee shirt and yoga pants glued to my couch…and it’s bittersweet really. Awards season just flew right on by, and yet it’s still winter. Here are the people who showed up to the biggest awards show in the biz looking wooftastic. To be fair though, they did have to deal with some pretty aggressive rainfall and for that alone they deserve all the awards.

Worst Dressed:

Eddie Redmayne’s plain suit and hunchback posture and his wife’s curtain dress. No and no.

This saggy dress is doing nothing for her Gina Rodriguez’s body but make it look like she has a uniboob. Also that bun is aggress.

First time ever Jared Leto’s hair hasn’t been on point. Add in an umbrella and powder blue suit and I can’t get on board.

JK Simmons and wifey look like they’re posing for one of those old timey Wild West photoshoots.

Thank GOD this is the last awards show because I’ve had ENOUGH of Keira Knightley and her whimsical butterfly applique dresses.

Hate to do this because Kelly looks great, but John Travolta IS a wax figure, right? Hard to believe I used to crush on him during the Danny Zuko days. Also he’s wearing a chain choker.

Not into the white suit on anyone.

This is probably the most normal thing Lady GaGa has worn and yet she still managed to borrow Mr. Clean’s gloves and ruin it.

Don’t even know who this is but this dress is hideous. Sorry, girl.

I really loved this a lot, Marion Cotillard and then I saw the back…

This looks a little witchy for me.

I get that Meryl is God and everyone bows down to her but seriously can she start dressing like it? These church outfits with her hair pulled back are real roughsicles.

That red belt ruined it for me. Looks like a karate belt.

Yucky.

WAY too much green. Also reeeaalllllyyy not into her David Beckham hair.

1. Why is Solange Knowles at the Oscars? 2. Where is her body?

Will.i.am channeling Beetlejuice.

This bid Zendaya has been at every awards show this season looking terrible and I would like an explanation. How does a Disney channel star get to attend everything and bomb the red carpet every single time?

Real Talk: This dress is not doing her any favors.

Again, not doing any favors. I know she’s skinny AF but she looks wide here.

Meh.

Best Dressed:

I almost put Reese on the worst dressed list simply because I think this was her worst look this season. But then I decided to stop being a B…she still looks good I guess.

Hawtest couple of the night. Suits on point.

Although this is a side shot, JLo’s boobs were OBVIOUSLY out to play. Yeah yeah she always looks young and hot and great. Blah, blah. She wore the same exact dress all season. Yawn.

This photo only made the list because Mark Ruffalo’s wife looks great but check out that stank face. Girl is ABOVE this red carpet bullshit.

America looks GREAT and it’s a color no one else wore, props.

Can’t resist that sparkle on Anna Faris.

Wittle baby Ansel crushing his first Oscars.

I’m a sucker for a turquoise necklace.

One of my fave couples bringing it as always.

Jessica Chastain getting boobalicious but not over the top (JLo, take notes.)

Cheryl Hines looking young and fresh in a sparkly one strap.

Chloe Grace Moretz in a princess ball gown.

Yum. Where’s his “best friend from home” Tara?

Damn, grl.

Could’ve dressed up the gym ponytail but whatevs I’ll throw her a bone for the dress.

David Oyelowo (still have to google that) always has a snazzy tux.

Edward looks plain but his wife is pulling that mermaid dress OFF.

Not my favorite from Emma, I mean her sparkle pantsuit DID win my best dressed of the night at the Globes, but not the worst either.

Almost won my favorite look of the night until Cin got all Joan Rivers on me and told me it wasn’t that great. Whatevs. I think this dress is cool and different.

Flower’s a little much but Gwen looks gr8.

Jamie Chung with a fireworks dress.

Jen is back in my good grace’s after some terrible looks this season. Ending on a high note.

Only yellow of the night!

UNCLE JESSE!!!

SUMMER’S HERE. Lara Spencer rockin that hot pink/turquoise combo.

I’m pretty sure Laura Dern is old as shit and she DOES NOT look like it here.

Lupita just knows how to red carpet it up.

This is mostly about Miles Teller’s hawt girlfriend bringing the heat.

SASS in the BACK.

Another one ending on a high note after a dicey awards season, Rosamund Pike.

Twist on the typical black gown.

Nance looks fab, I guess Steve does too.

Viola Davis in a flattering ball gown.

AK with coral and T’s (tastefully) out for the red carpet.

Didn’t she just pop out twins? Pregnancy Rack – Baby Bump= Bangin.

And finally my favorite look of the night and Best Dressed of the Oscars 2015 goes toooooooooo……

Margot Robbie, the australian smokeshow who is my age. I also look like this when I go out on the town, so whatevs.

Bonus: Other than a bunch of stupid questions and awkward what are you wearing’s, this happened on the red carpet, and it was adorbsies:

Music, Red Carpet, Television

Grammy’s Red Carpet

It was music’s biggest night and the singers put on their best, which unfortunately wasn’t great. The best dressed list was a true struggle to populate and it’s not just because I’m a judgmental asshole. I had people weigh in this time. Let’s get things started with the never-ending

Worst Dressed:

Ariana Grande with her signature tight ponytail that looks like it’s painful and a gown that looks like it was unfinished so they pinned a scrap of metallic material over it in an emergency.

Ashanti. Do less. Also how dare you show up to the Grammy’s without Ja Rule on your arm? Show some respect.

Charli XCX. Do even less than Ashanti. Was this supposed to be a bit? Did I miss something here?

Trash bag meets unraveling loofah on Ciara.

Damn it with those milkmaid braids that look to be weighing your head down, Iggy. I don’t even hate the dress because I’ve seen her do worse, but those braids really rough it up.

Legit question, why is Jane Fonda at the Grammys? In a green leisure suit nonetheless.

I actually don’t understand how Kanye is seen as a fashion icon. His obsession with deep V’s is almost as aggress as his wife’s obsession with showing off her lady bits on the internet.

I had to do a double take because I thought that Katharine McPhee was JWoww.

I think I actually like the purple hair more than I like this dress.

Kimmy, thanks for gracing the Grammy’s with your presence in a bedazzled bathrobe. Would you like me to grab your slippers?

Bonus points for matching the hair to the dress but yikes put the bewbs away.

KANGOL. NUFF SAID.

Madonna, you’re 56, woof. Time to retire the corsets.

This is conservative for Miles. That being said she looks straight up terrible. Is she coming down from a bender?

I would expect nothing less from someone who sings about buhholes.

Pharrell & Wife trying to one-up his historic Arby’s hat moment from last year with a nice readywear gym couples outfit.

Rihanna saw this online and thought it was cool. I’m wondering if that means she stumbled upon the DIY loofah costumes on Pinterest. She looks like she’s 400 pounds.

Ryan Adams taking his divorce with Mandy Moore well in a Canadian Tuxedo.

The Dumb and Dumber hairstyle, the hideous colored dress and matching lip. No thank you, Zendaya.

Best Dressed:

Anna Kendrick with the ever popular this season, tuxedo-no bra combo.

BeyBey with the mermaid waves and form-fitting lace gown.

Chrissy Teigen crushes red carpet looks all day erreday.

Gwen Stefani wearing the pantsuit well and also keeping up appearances for her performance (see recap).

I see you in that green velvet suit, Jesse. ❤

Jennifer Hudson’s hair is looking pretty mom-ish but damn that body! The dress fits her well and looks great.

MJ Blige with an age approps and beautiful gown.

I’m still half in half out on this one, but I think I’m leaning toward in so here it is. Meghan Trainor trying something different.

Not my favorite for Miranda but she crushes her peformance outfit so that helped her make this list. (see recap)

Normally not a hat person but Ne-Yo is lookin real smooth.

Nick Jonas with the fitted plaid suit paired with white kicks. Wish he picked different shoes but he looks real trendy.

Nicole truly looks the best I’ve seen her look in a long time. Keith doesn’t deserve to be on the best dressed because of THAT HALF UP, HALF DOWN HAIRDO. NO KEITH. NO PONIES. (He also seems pretty casj about Nicole TOWERING over him.)

Lovin on that dress on Kimberly and the sleek pony.

Hate the hair, half in on the dress. I think the sparkles distracted me. And I drank a lot of wine tonight.

Jessie J in this sheer black number is pretty classy. Never into the greasy slicked back hair.

AND THE BEST DRESSED OF THE EVENING GOES TO:

This isn’t even me being a biased Taylor super fan. This look is awesome. The dress fits well, has sass in the back, is a spicy color and the legs + purple heels just seal the deal for me. Could’ve gone without the earrings that look like ones my mom used to have that I thought were costume jewelry and she was like no these are real earrings I wear in public, but whatever. I’m not going to nitpick, it’s not really my style. 😉

Keep reading for the full 4 hours condensed into highs, lows and cat naps in my Grammy’s Recap.

Red Carpet, Television

SAG Awards Red Carpet & Recap

Another Sunday and another large glass that has suspiciously filled itself with wine has come and passed. I honestly don’t even remember if I’ve ever watched the SAG Awards before but I can pretty much assure everyone that I never want to watch them again. I punished myself beforehand by watching 2 hours of the E! Red Carpet–mostly for the mani cam (amirite?!) and had to put up with a whole lot of Maria Menunous being awkward and telling people “I Love It,” when she wanted to prove she wasn’t listening to anything they said. Ross Matthews made a lot of jokes that the celebs didn’t laugh at and Kelly Osbourne kept trying to bring the conversation back to Keira Knightley’s dress on more than one occasion. Here are the best and worst looks of the night…

Worst Dressed:

I don’t even know who this is but she will forever be known as the SAG Salsa Dancer.

Amanda Peet, I don’t know what’s going on with the black accents and the diamond poof in the middle but I don’t like it.

This polka-dotted spaghetti strap combo is from an MK&A movie. I’m split though because Andy Samberg is PULLING those frames OFF.

Not digging this dress that looks like a vest on Anna Chlumsky

I don’t care that you’re 17 now Ariel Winter, for pete’s sake put the boobs away for a hot second.

GUYS IT’S ANDREA FROM 90210 aaand she looks rough.

No Jen, no. This is a curtain.

LOVE the color, HATE the chunky waist/bottom.

Oh Lo, why didn’t you clear your dress by LC? The cleave, the slicked hair, the flesh colored dress. Bai.

Mags must’ve been reading my blog and stepped up her frumpy aunt game, selecting a skin hugging white number for tonight. Well, joke’s on you Maggie cause I still don’t love it. I like where your head’s at though, keep working on it. I’ll check back on your progress at the Oscars.

Bridesmaid dress for a Valentine’s Day wedding.

Meryl…dress like you own Hollywood because we all know you do. She looks like she’s 900 attending her own funeral in this outfit.

Off the shoulder+Fur trim on Naomi=tack city

Do I want to take a nap in this because it looks really cushiony? Yes, yes I do. Do I think it looks good? Hard no.

This is a step up from her actual GLAD black garbage bag from the Globes but it’s still supes unflattering and a terrible color.

I like everything about this dress except for the halter neck that reminds me of a bathing suit.

I cannot with Keira this awards season. Everything she wears makes me wonder who allowed her to do so. The color is fab city, but this literally looks like someone wrapped her in scraps from Joann Fabrics and pinned it in the back. Girl has one chance left to redeem herself.

Best Dressed:

Lupy was originally on my worst dressed list, then I went to write something about this dress and realized it had grown on me in like a matter of 20 minutes. She wears it well. Good work Lupdawgs.

Sofia doesn’t stray from the “I have the body of a bombshell and I’m going to throw it in everyone’s face”. Respect.

People are already jumping on Amy’s shit for being pregnant, so like if you’re wondering why Hollywood women don’t eat I can pinpoint the reason why.

Claire Danes wearing the army green and going for something different. I can dig it.

YES Emma Stone making the Tuxedo jacket as a dress look cool, why you ask? Because it has a train and isn’t just her throwing on Andrew’s suit coat with a pair of heels and calling it a day.

This is very princess mystical. (This is me trying to use different words.) Also fun fact: it’s a two piecer.

Felicity Jones in a soft pink looking elegant AF.

Men only make the best dressed if they wear something other than a typical black tuxedo. Props to Jesse.

Julia killin the sexy lace vibe.

I don’t think I love this but I also don’t think I can call it a worst dressed, so you snuck this pantsuit right onto my best dressed list Julezzz.

Great color and super flattering dress, hair is on point too.

Simple yet whimsical for Julie Bowen.

Love the dress…still hate the hair.

I’m a sucker for a good animal print. What can I say.

Maisie crushing it in the red floral dress. Might sneaky be my fave dress of the night.

It pains me to put Maria on the best dressed after listening to her TERRIBLE red carpet interview style, but I like this dress and I’m being the bigger person.

YAS.

Michael Keaton is looking sleek, man! Are those velvet loafers?!

Rashida coming in hot with the baby blue floral number.

Reese is chic’ing all the awards shows so hard this season.

Another fave of the night for me, Sarah Hyland never seems to disappoint.

My gurl Sophia Bush will never end up on a worst dressed list of mine, she could wear a paper bag and make it look good.

Uzo wearing this textured bright yellow was different and it really grew on me. She’s rockin it.

RECAP:

Normally I would do a separate recap of the actual awards show but in this case I can pretty much sum it up in a few sentences. There’s not even a host so instead the awards open with a man announcing people on the red carpet searching for new ways to say they look stunning with quick camera movements to the soundtrack of America’s Funniest Home Videos. Then a few actors talk directly to the camera and tell awkward back stories about their lives, introducing themselves as actors as if we didn’t already know who they are. Glad we sparked things off with the uncomfies, and the awards continue on being stiff and weird.

A fake applause cue mistakenly goes off while Reese is presenting an award and now we all know that no one could be bothered to clap for each other. William H. Macy won something and referred to wife Felicity Huffman as “Flicka”, like the horse. Jared Leto and Lupito Nyong’o present together and Jared spends his time onstage undressing Lupita with his eyes and forcing her to look to the audience for help more than once. Carrie Fisher presents her mother Debbie Reynolds with the lifetime award and gives a nice, long-winded, confusing ancestry.com background just to tell us Debbie is indeed her mom. Also she breathed real hard into the mic. Random observation: SO MANY GLASSES.

Naomi Watts tripped over her own dress at the end of the night and squealed into the mic. Skinny, ponytail-wearing Zach Galifianakis won the night with the only joke when he was pushed up to the mic by his Birdman cast and simply said, “When I was on As the World Turns…” mocking Julianne Moore seriously saying that same sentence moments earlier in her acceptance speech. In the final moment, the actress in Birdman that I don’t even know tried to speak into the mic after the music had already begun and the camera was panning out. The music was cut short, the camera moved back in on her and she gave a generic thank you that essentially reiterated exactly what everyone else said. That single moment can sum up this entire awards ceremony.

Pop Culture, Red Carpet, Television

Golden Globes Red Carpet Looks

The stakes are high as the first legit awards show of the season and my judgements will be harsh. I make no apologies and must reiterate that I literally know nothing about high fashion and these are all my sassy opinions formed after one glance. I also feel compelled to point out that while these women probably starve themselves 90% of the time in preparation for these few moments walking a red carpet, I am sitting on my couch, unshowered, shoving pizza into my mouth and telling them that they look ugly. All the credibility in the world, obviously.

Worst Dressed:

Alan Cumming in a skin tone suit. Yuck.

Amanda Peet looking like she wrapped herself in a bedsheet. Not flattering.

I guess this is very Bill Murray…slob kebab style.

Claire Danes borrowed her gammy’s dress.

Jemima Kirke looking like she stepped out of the 1990’s, only thing missing is butterfly clips and foam platforms.

Jessica Chastain with untasteful cleavage and gold lamé.

Hey Kate Mara, this could’ve been on the best dressed if you didn’t throw in that stupid belt.

Katie Cassidy leaves absolutely nothing to the imagination. Do less.

Keira Knightley. WHAT WERE YOU THINKING? Wins worst look of the night, year, possibly ever.

This is so blah, baggy and unflattering. Also off the shoulder is so 80’s duhz, Kristen Wiig.

This looks like a shitty bridesmaid dress. Also Lena Dunham always looks like frumpmaster frump.

Lorde in the baggy pants suit. (She probably borrowed that crop from her cheerful bestie Tay)

BLAH BLAH BLAH. We all know I think Maggie Gyllenhaal looks like the homely aunt at every public event. (her and Lena must be attending the same wedding circa 1992)

Maria Menunous with boob patterns and slicked back hair.

I read somewhere that Melissa McCarthy recently lost like 50lbs…this outfit does NOT show that. Also, waitress.

Rosamund Pike wearing a spaghetti strap dress that is just too much and makes her look top slops.

Taryn Manning in a literal trash bag.

Cotton Candy nightmare for Zosia Mamet.

Somewhere In Between:

The Clooneys make their red carpet debut and it’s lackluster. The dress is just fine..the gloves are stupid. ARE YOU ABOVE US OR SOMETHING, AMAL?

Is Eddie Redmayne wearing a velvet suit? Kinda lame. His wife’s dress is pretty so that’s how they landed in the middle.

I’ve seen G look fresher. Not cray about the mermaid bottom.

Miss Golden Globe Greer Grammar kind of looks like she bought this from a prom dress store.

Jen!! Hair down. Always.

Meh=Matthew’s scraggly beard, the top half of Camila’s dress.

I truly hate to knock my favorite hosts of all time, but these outfits are not doing it for me. Fingers crossed for some improvements in the many outfit changes during the show.

Best Dressed:

Real Talk: Has Adam Levine ever not looked bangin? Answer: No.

Adrian Grenier owning that plum suit.

Allison Tolman in a tasteful black chic gown.

Red came in hot tonight and Allison Williams looked old Hollywood glam.

Good color, simple and classy.

Not in love with the hair on Anna Kendrick but the dress is on point.

Catherine Zeta Jones in the classic red ball gown.

Hottest couple looking perf.

Anna Faris stepped it up and she’s not even hosting this one. Pratt looks good without trying.

Chrissy Teigen looking like a smoke with a sassy pony.

Dakota Johnson with the classic disco ball dress. Still not hot enough to be in 50 Shades but I digress.

David Oyelowo with a SNAZZY patterned metallic suit.

Pacey and Diane Kruger killing it as always.

Ellie Kemper pulls off the sparkly patterned dress and red lip.

Emily Blunt looks like a greek goddess.

Emmanuelle Chiriqui legit does not age.

Gina Rodriguez from the CW show I thought would be cancelled, loving the fringey bottom of the basic black.

JLo still on a mission to remind everyone that she may be 45 but she sure don’t look it. Legs and tits for days.

Julia Louis-Dreyfus, another one who never looks her age.

I respect the hell out of this NYE party frock.

Kate Beckinsale almost won fave look of the night but the bun didn’t complete the look for me.

KATE HUDSON. BOOB. JOB. SINGLE AND READY TO MINGLE.

COULD KATHERINE HEIGL BE SKINNIER? DAMN.

Katie Holmes looks like she did in the Dawson’s finale and I LOVE it.

I hate this dress so much that I love it. I can’t even explain that.

Good color on Leslie Mann.

Lupita kills red carpets. Always on fleek (the kids are saying that these days…)

Mouth wateringly handsome. ALWAYS. Bomer jams. Amirite?!

Naomi Watts with a super cool snake necklace and another great yellow.

Natasha Lyonne doing simple and elegant.

Hate the hair, love the dress.

Red sweeping the red carpet. No coincidence.

And naturally the most coveted of honors-the winner of my fave look of the night is… A TIE.

NEVER though my fave look would be a jumpsuit but I LOVE this look, even the capey thing in the back. Emma Stone kept it simple with jewels and hair and let the sparkle top do the talkin.

Reese Witherspoon had a big year with films and looks GR8 in this simple slimming gown. Less is more (also can you tell I’m into the sparkles?)

Pop Culture, Red Carpet, Television

People’s Choice Awards Red Carpet Looks

In the spirit of awards season and not missing any one that they air, I actually watched the People’s Choice Awards. Yiiiiikes. I won’t bore you with a recap on them because literally nothing happened. I think the highlight of the night was when Chris Evans escorted Betty White to the stage for her TV Icon Award and it was a real panty-melter to see such a hottie being a gentleman. Adam Sandler won an award and Fall Out Boy performed so I had myself questioning what year it actually was several times. Also hosts Anna Faris and Allison Janney played it safe all night and were basically just there to promote their soon to be cancelled show Moms ad nauseum. Also Iggy Azalea tried to bone Dax Shepard by flirting with him on stage. And we’re all caught up. I did however decide to do a best and worst dressed list because there were some standouts that deserved to be addressed.

Worst Dressed:

I mean these are your hosts and their not looking their best. Anna Faris is wearing a circus ruffle dress and Allison Janney is showing an untasteful amount of cleavage for her age…

I’ve seen Amy Adams look stunning and this just wasn’t doing it for me. Too plain. Also I can understand why she wouldn’t pull out the big guns for the People’s Choice Awards.

This is outrageous. I cannot get on board with Ariel Winter and the tuxedo as a dress thing. You look like you’re doing the walk of shame.

Honest question has Ginnifer Goodwin ever NOT looked like your frumpy aunt?

I feel like this dress is not the most flattering on Hillary Scott.

She’s certainly got the Kim K hourglass to pull this off but it’s just too much.

WOOF with the super low cut tee Taj Mowry. No need to do nips out for the People.

Best Dressed:

Digging on this sparkly party dress on Sarah Hyland.

Kristen Bell popped out a baby like 2 weeks ago. Damn gurl. Also I’m obsessed with this dress. Fave look of the night.

The classy crop was a trend last night and I was digging it. Love the sparkles and high pony on Olivia Munn.

This is my second fave look of the night. Even though Kaley Cuoco buzzed her head and I hate it, girl is pulling off this cutout dress. Almost makes me want to hit the gym. Almost.

Jesse McCartney repping well dressed men like nobody’s biz.

I think this is the best I’ve seen Iggy dress for an awards show. Still not really in our era, but she makes it work.

Digging on this color on Gabrielle Union.

Last but certainly not least, Chris Evans looking like the hot piece of ass he is. Dressed casj in a sweater and it makes me want to curl up by the fire with him with a glass of wine while he reads me a book. Whoa. That escalated quickly.

Music, Pop Culture, Red Carpet, Television

AMA’s Fashion

I expressed my excitement for the AMA’s today and both of my sisters asked me if I was 12. The answer is a hard yes. The AMA’s are maybe one step above the VMA’s in maturity level and I don’t even curr. Let’s judge how the tweens and young adult pop singers of this year dressed for such an event. Apparently if you didn’t have at least one full leg out to play, you were a nobody. I personally preferred the nobodies.

Worst Dressed:

Zendaya wearing some satin sheets and a bandeau bikini top.

Is stripper gold costume material back in style and I missed the memo? Jordin Sparks needed to step it up and show Jason DeRulo that she’s lookin like a dime.

More sparkles, more leg. Are we seeing a trend here? Leave the crops to the young’ns Heidi.

If the leg wasn’t so forceful I would actually like this dress.

Ok Morticia Adams, we get it, you have D cups. Charli XCX going nips out for the awards.

Happy Thanksgiving, the turkey has arrived!

This looks like a homemade dress for the sorority 80’s party, only thing missing is a scrunchie.

Magic looking like they stumbled out of a thrift shop (I’d bet money that they did) smelling of incense.

Imagine Dragons with a weird bib shirt, 60’s shades vibe. Hipsters, man.

Hey JLo, I know you invented the “booty” and all but you’re 45 and this is no longer an acceptable article of clothing to be wearing in public.

Best Dressed:

One Direction with some leopard accents. YAS.

Could do without the snake necklace on Kate Beckinsale but the dress is perfection.

Simple and classy, plus an obnoxious lips clutch for sass. Megan Trainor shows us you don’t need to have a slit up to your vagina to look good.

Selena with the tight black dress and open back giving the Biebs a taste of what he’s missing.

Becky G looking cute as a button with a sassy pony and approps party dress.

This dress is pretty stupid but I’m kinda digging on the crazy updo with the headband.

Nicki making my best dressed list because she is the most covered I have ever seen her and I encourage this wholeheartedly.

I’m digging Rita Ora’s yellow ball gown a lot. There’s coverage and a nice change up of color.

Lucy Hale with another classic short cocktail dress and simple hair/makeup look. Girl knows how to play the awards show game, if it ain’t broke don’t fix it.

I didn’t see a lot of nice men red carpet pics, so I’m including this for gender equality purposes. Nick Jonas with a real uncomfy pose but a nice dapper suit.

Julianne Hough with a saucy summer number that I don’t hate. Get it, gurl.

Stay tuned for my full recap post-awards. I can give you a teaser right now that the awards are a straight up trainwreck and I should win something just for watching them in full. I do it all for my fans.

Country, Music, Red Carpet, Television

CMA’s Fashion, Ya’ll!

Here’s the CMA’s post where we judge people based on what they chose to wear. If you want to judge people based on what they chose to sing, please see my second installment-the recap. Here’s the deal. I got a fevah and the only prescription is more awards shows. Once I get a taste I need it to be awards season STAT. Since this is the first of 100 country music awards shows this year (all of them having strikingly similar names), country singers will have plenty of chances for redemption if they made my worst dressed list. They’ll obviously be reading this and taking my opinions into account when picking their next show outfit.

Here are the Worst Dressed:

Hillary from Lady A. What’s the deal with the V neck suspender sitch? No other words to describe that.

Gretchen Wilson staying true to her 2004 (TWO THOUSAND FOUR, DAMN) song “Redneck Woman”.

All that’s missing is a red solo cup of Fleischmann’s. Keep it classy, gurl.

Real Talk: has Hunter EVER not looked like a 15 year old sneaking into prom?

Kacey Musgraves with Elvira hair. Nuff said. Also on the right: flashback to her craft fair boots & dress combo from Grammy’s.

People don’t forget.

Sam Hunt is the newcomer hottie to the country scene. I wish he wouldn’t have ruined that with this mariachi/pirate shirt.

Scarlett from Nashville aka Clare Bowen probably let her new homeless friend with the voice of an angel dress her.

Zoey from Nashville aka Chaley Rose trying to steal the spotlight as always. Less is more.

Ugh.

The gr8 news is there are more best dressed than worst dressed, so I’m actually T-ing down the judgements. Here’s all the singers who got it right.

Best dressed:

This is a worst/best combo if we’re being honest. Brantley is probably wearing a jewel encrusted affliction tee under that blazer. Brett OBVIOUSLY steals the show wearing a classy suit and accessorizing with his pure sexiness. It’s no caveman toga, but whatevs.

Carrie never disappoints. This one actually isn’t my favorite but she’ll have probably 100 outfit changes as host and I assume most of them will be top notch. Also, legs.

Cassadee Pope looking elegant and classy

RAYNA JAMES. TAMI TAYLOR. CONNIE BRITTON.

I mean seriously. With her hair she could wear a trash bag and win all the awards. Bow down, bitches.

They only made the best dressed because long hair (still don’t know his name) isn’t wearing a leather vest with no shirt underneath. He’s done that far too many times and I’ve had to choke back vomit.

Jana Kramer always looks gorgeous. Now if only she would stop ending every social media post with #love to shamelessly promote her latest single. That’s all I want for Christmas.

Josh Turner proving you don’t need a cowboy hat or sparkly vest/belt at the CMA’s. Yum.

Kimberly from The Band Perry. Simple and not being overshadowed by her brothers’ afros.

What I imagine Taylor Swift would’ve worn if she was still country (sigh)

You know, cause she’s got that red lip classic thing that Harry likes. JK-Lucy looks fab though.

Hey Nicole Kidman. THIS is how you wear lace. Maddie & Tae lookin’ like a couple of dimes.

Miranda going classic. If we’re being honest I preferred her performance dress, but the red carpet hair/makeup looks fresh.

Queen and King of country.

SWOOOONNN. Okay now please put on your black v neck and backwards hat and shake it.

That’s it for the red carpet roundup. Which one was your favorite look? Are you too busy drooling over those Southern men? Are you a guy and puking from that last statement? STAY TUNED FOR FULL SHOW RECAP. CAUSE WHY NOT?!

The Salty Ju

#NoFilter

Category Archives: Red Carpet

ACM’s Red Carpet

MTV Movie Awards Red Carpet

Oscars Red Carpet 2015

Grammy’s Red Carpet

SAG Awards Red Carpet & Recap

Golden Globes Red Carpet Looks

People’s Choice Awards Red Carpet Looks

AMA’s Fashion

CMA’s Fashion, Ya’ll!