Red Carpet

Golden Globes Red Carpet 2016

Since I’m immature I still watch E’s red carpet (I assume everyone does) and this year’s highlights included Giuliana being the most awkward bird alive-as always. She did a weird light saber fight with the kid from Room, asked everyone uncomfy questions and tried to make it allĀ about herself. On the other hand, we had Ryan Seacrest whose approach to red carpet chat was throwing celebs together whether they had met or not. The best pair being Jennifer Lawrence and Katy Perry. As Katy blubbered on, J.Law gave a polite smile while her eyes said that she hated Katy and her Jersey Shore trash hair.

WORST:

73rd Annual Golden Globe Awards - Arrivals

This isn’t your time to shine girl. Take your bumpit and go home.

NBC's "73rd Annual Golden Globe Awards" - Red Carpet Arrivals

Mark Ruffalo with The Lovely Bones rape glasses.

NBC's "73rd Annual Golden Globe Awards" - Arrivals

I have a strong feeling that Kate Winslet has worn this dress before.

73rd Annual Golden Globe Awards - Arrivals

This dress doubles as a Mummy costume.

73rd Annual Golden Globe Awards - Arrivals

Curtains for the drawing room.

NBC's "73rd Annual Golden Globe Awards" - Red Carpet Arrivals

I’m beginning to believe that Maggie just plays into always wearing something hideous. She’s got to be in on the joke at this point.

73rd Annual Golden Globe Awards - Arrivals

When will people learn that ruffles are never flattering.

73rd Annual Golden Globe Awards - Arrivals

Sparkle trash bag

73rd Annual Golden Globe Awards - Arrivals

This is a whole lot.

73rd Annual Golden Globe Awards - Arrivals

Please see my ruffles Ā comment above.

73rd Annual Golden Globe Awards - Arrivals

Not in love with the dusty pink and vag golden leaves.

NBC's "73rd Annual Golden Globe Awards" - Arrivals

1 fish, 2 fish, red fish, blue fish.

NBC's "73rd Annual Golden Globe Awards" - Arrivals

Gina usually blows me away and this was just alright. But it does have pockets, which is every girl’s dream.

73rd Annual Golden Globe Awards - Arrivals

I hate all aspects of this dress. It looks like something Kacey Musgraves would wear with her honkin cowboy boots and a hat.

73rd Annual Golden Globe Awards, Arrivals, Los Angeles, America - 10 Jan 2016

HOW did he get invited to this? Do you think he just stumbled upon the red carpet and starting throwing around finger gunz?! You just got HOFFED.

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“This black dress is kinda boring, let’s glue a giant bow to the front”- a rich designer, probably.

73rd Annual Golden Globe Awards - Arrivals

The sequin overload is blinding and THENĀ there’s a cape.

NBC's "73rd Annual Golden Globe Awards" - Arrivals

The glittery fire flames on her chest, though.

73rd Annual Golden Globe Awards - Arrivals

What’s with the sparkle factory throw up trend?

NBC's "73rd Annual Golden Globe Awards" - Arrivals

My annoyance of Maria is no secret but is she for seriousĀ with this cleavage?

Golden Globe Awards 2016-Arrivals

I mean I don’t really need to see proof that Nancy O’Dell got a Brazilian before she hit the carpet.

73rd Annual Golden Globe Awards - Arrivals

This is a weird jumpsuit sitch.

73rd Annual Golden Globe Awards - Arrivals

I love a good crop coord but the matching choker ruined this whole deal. Also if this is what abs look like on a girl I’m fine not having them.

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No thank you to the double breasted buttons

73rd Annual Golden Globe Awards - Arrivals

I actually originally liked this look for JLo, you know cause her bits are covered and she still looks amahzing. But then my friend pointed out she looks like mustard and ketchup and now I can’t unsee it.

BEST:

73rd Annual Golden Globe Awards, Arrivals, Los Angeles, America - 10 Jan 2016

SHE’S 70. DAMN.

73rd Annual Golden Globe Awards - Arrivals

Lick.

73rd Annual Golden Globe Awards - Arrivals

Love a good blue suit.

73rd Annual Golden Globe Awards - Arrivals

Julianne is another one who always wears almost exactly the same dress but whatevs cause it ain’t broke.

NBC's "73rd Annual Golden Globe Awards" - Arrivals

I hated Michael B. Jordan when I was forced to watch him every week instead of Riggins on FNL. But he’s so fiery hot lately that I’ve forgiven him.

73rd Annual Golden Globe Awards - Arrivals

J.Law can do no wrong.

73rd Annual Golden Globe Awards - Arrivals

For the love of God, will somebody please give this man an award?

NBC's "73rd Annual Golden Globe Awards" - Arrivals

Julia always brings the heat.

73rd Annual Golden Globe Awards - Arrivals

Sassy patterned suit jacket.

73rd Annual Golden Globe Awards, Arrivals, Los Angeles, America - 10 Jan 2016

She looks ***Flawless.

73rd Annual Golden Globe Awards - Arrivals

The red on red is working in Amy’s favor.

73rd Annual Golden Globe Awards - Arrivals

Classy and flattering for Queenie

73rd Annual Golden Globe Awards - Arrivals

I don’t LOVE how flat this dress makes my #1 girl crush look, but I will never put her on the worst dressed. I just can’t.

73rd Annual Golden Globe Awards - Arrivals

A.Schu is killin it

73rd Annual Golden Globe Awards - Arrivals

Jenna looks like a dime, Channing’s piecy combover is really ruining things here.

73rd Annual Golden Globe Awards - Arrivals

Sparkles that aren’t over the top

73rd Annual Golden Globe Awards - Arrivals

Taraji is always fierce. Of course she has a cape.

73rd Annual Golden Globe Awards - Arrivals

Don’t know how to pronounce her name but she looks gorge.

73rd Annual Golden Globe Awards - Arrivals

Embodied kewl couple, she looks like a smoke, he’s wearing kicks with a tux.

NBC's "73rd Annual Golden Globe Awards" - Arrivals

The only hot pink I saw and I’m INTO it.

73rd Annual Golden Globe Awards - Arrivals

This one threw me for a loop. Kirsten is looking goooood.

73rd Annual Golden Globe Awards - Arrivals

Oh, David. Your suit game is so on point.

Brie looks like a golden goddess.

alancumming

Since I’ve been aggressively mean to his outfits in the past, here’s a nice look with sneaks that I basically own.

NBC's "73rd Annual Golden Globe Awards" - Arrivals

I actually really like this color on her and clearly she has the flat mid section for love handle cutouts, unlike myself.

NBC's "73rd Annual Golden Globe Awards" - Arrivals

Honestly all hail Sophia Bush.

73rd Annual Golden Globe Awards - Arrivals

Love the style and color of this gown.

73rd Annual Golden Globe Awards - Arrivals

Sam Smith giving it to me with that scruff.

73rd Annual Golden Globe Awards - Arrivals

America’s a skinny mini now!

73rd Annual Golden Globe Awards, Arrivals, Los Angeles, America - 10 Jan 2016

RED HOT.

NBC's "73rd Annual Golden Globe Awards" - Arrivals

Keeping it simple is usually the way to go.

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This was a little surprising that Bob Odenkirk was keeping it spicy and trendy.

MY FAVORITE LOOK OF THE NIGHT:

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Red Carpet, Television

Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show 2015

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The VS Fashion show is always right around the time of year when I’ve already had my winter body for roughly 2 months. And yet I still plop my ass on the couch in an oversized sweatshirt surrounded by snacks so that I can comment out loud to myself ā€œshe’s TOO skinny.ā€ All in all I’d say it’s an annual success in reaffirming that my daily regiment of eating every hour and never exercising makes me a supermodel at heart. It’s the inside the counts. Last night Taylor Swift and her runway star power was sorely missed but there’s never really a shortage of things to giggle at.

 

Highlights:

-Last year I ripped on the amount of kisses blown and how the angels actually discussed their preparation for getting the right wink.. Well of course there were 1 trillion more facial spasms this year but the new move seemed to be the shimmy into a wink. It was a welcome change from blowing a kiss at the end of their strut. I’d rather see them toss those moneymakers around than give dramatic air smooches.

-With Kendall’s debut as an angel, it was to be expected that the Kardashians would snake their way into the spotlight. Momager Kris was probably salivating at being the equivalent of an Awards Show Taylor Swift with the amount of times the camera cut to her in the crowd doing this (every.time.Kendall.walked):

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-The Weeknd wasn’t briefed on how the models like to clasp hands when they walk by the performer and watching him navigate that on the fly was downright entertaining.

-Definitely wasn’t jelly at all of this…her core is like TOO flawless, ya know?

-Ellie must have learned from last year’s near Ariana Grande beheading because she just missed a decapitation by some ferocious butterfly wings. (Also did 90’s Mariah Carey design this show? What’s with all the butterflies…)

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-YIKES:

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-Selena Gomez takes on the Pink collection, which is essentially cute PJ’s, sports bras and cotton briefs yet she wears this and it’s OUTRAGEOUS. I love Selena but she’s gorgeous all on her own. I don’t think she needed to pop in blue contacts, ask for her spray tanner to make her a different race and wear a silk dress that was one shimmy away fromĀ a nip slip. Read the room, Sel.

-Selena would’ve stood out even more except that the Pink collection quickly turned into a slutty Halloween costume contest. WHAT was happening here?! A cop, a firefighter, an astronaut, a girl LITERALLY carrying a surfboard? As if the wings aren’t enough of a walking liability?!

-Winter wonderland was the best collection by FAR. Especially Candice. DAMN.

-Sucks to be this chick wearing ACTUAL firecrackers. WINK.

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-If we’re being honest I’ve seen more extravagant fantasy bras in years past.

 

Fluff Pieces that made me laugh:Ā 

-A backstage promotion of Instagram and who has the best account/most followers quickly snowballed into ā€œhow to take the perfect selfie.ā€ As the young’ns rattle on about angles and lighting, Adriana Lima stomps on them by pointing the camera at herself and saying, ā€œTA-DA! I’ts not that hard.ā€ HAHA you rookie idiots, watch Adriana, you might LEARN somethin. Realistically when you look like her… it IS supes easy to take gorgeous selfies.

Miami traffic this week sucks

A photo posted by Adriana Lima (@adrianalima) on

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A photo posted by Adriana Lima (@adrianalima) on

🚿 SHOWER TIME 🚿

A photo posted by Adriana Lima (@adrianalima) on

-The squad wouldn’t be the squad unless they took a few moments to casually insert how much they loved being in the Bad Blood music video and strutting down the 1989 stage. Lily was like fantasy bra? Who cares! I’m BFF’s with Taylor!

-A detailed workout segment that ended with one of the angels saying, ā€œI totally think we’re athletesā€ā€¦I’ll just leave that one there for you. Interpret it as you will.

-ā€œIt’s a little weird walking past your sister’s boyfriend in lingerie but it’s gonna be great.ā€-Gigi letting us know that her and Bella are SO Hollywood. JK I’m obsessed with Gigi and she looked amahzing in the show. Real proud of her.

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-Lily speaks to the fantasy bra while the grumpiest security guard in all the land stands watch on camera. This is a bra made of colored gems, not Buckingham palace. Let’s calm ourselves.

-Annual holiday commercial features Tay ā€œThis Loveā€, of course. Hey—wait a second—Rome doesn’t look like that! It looks like thousands of people everywhere sweating and gladiators charging you to take a picture next to their toned pecs and tacky costumes. I guess Michael Bay envisioned a more magical Rome, whatevs.

 

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Red Carpet, Uncategorized

AMA’s 2015 Red Carpet

I guess E! is just as excited to jumpstart awards season as I am because they started red carpet coverage at dinner time. Giuliana was unbearable interviewing actual celebrities so I can’t even begin to imagine what the first hour of the red carpet was like when nobody was there. Especially since her riveting line of questions included “what’s the difference between American girls and Australian girls, no bullshit answer.” Leave it to G to ask the hard-hitting Q’s. We only have more of that to look forward to in the coming winter months.

WORST:

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This is Tove Lo and it’s possible she had the worst dress of the night. When asked about it she said all the important parts are on display. Thank you for showing us your pikachu and rack, Tove. Here in America we don’t love that.

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BARRETTES. CHLOE GRACE MORETZ IS WEARING BARRETTES AND A BLACK CHOKER.

kyliejenner

Sucks that you have to walk the red carpet with your supermodel sister but like wearing dominatrix leather only made things worse.

paulaabdul

PAULA. You’re 53! I do NOT want to see your RB curts.

rebel

There has got to be a better way for Rebel to dress for her body type than this trash bag.

frankiegrande

What a subdued outfit for such a shy personality.

jennymccarthy

I have no words.

christinamilian

OMG Slutty Cindy Lou Who!

juliannehough

Not only is this impractical because every time she walks she flashes everyone AND her 90’s platforms make her travel at a snail’s pace, but it’s also butt ugly.

haileesteinfeld

I feel like this is a real front and back wedgie sitch waiting to happen.

ashleybenson

Ashley Benson is ready to take on a job interview.

biebs

Leave it to Biebs to wear a tee of a band he knows nothing about with some ripped jeans like a punk.

demi

The dress isn’t the worst thing in the world but this vamp hair/makeup is killing me.

gwen

Gwen has transformed into a skanky black butterfly!

giulianarancic

mEh.

danicamckellar

This is a prom dress. 100%.

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HARRY. Gawd. This suit. Also, trim those locks.

BEST:

selena

selena back

This isn’t my favorite Selena look but she’s still pulling it off.

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3 out of 4 in 1D dressed like suave gentlemen and I commend them for that.

kelseaballerini

Kelsea Ballerini showing off tasteful cleavage–take notes, Christina Milian.

wilmervalderrama

Wilmer would’ve upstaged Demi if they posed togets.

charlieputh

Charlie Puth keeping things spicy in a red suit.

COULD be a longer frock, but Kendall never really looks bad, especially when she stands next to Kylie.

lukebryan

Can always count on Luke to look droolworthy. His wife’s alright, I guess.

hannahdavis

I don’t LOVE this but it’s not horrendous enough to hit the worst dressed. Something weird’s happening around her boob region and I don’t know that Jeets would approve.

meghantrainor

Kinda hard to mess anything up with a plain black dress

nickjonas

Turtleneck CHIC.

5sos

I wanted to post this picture because it made me laugh out loud. The lead singer/guy HAMMING in the white shirt is clearly the hottest group member and he knows it. The one on the right is trying, but can’t compete with white shirt’s natural sex appeal.

ciara

Ciara wore this scandalous dress showing off her hot bod to be STUCK in the T-mobile corner for the entire show.

carrie

I can get down with a little cape from time to time. I think Carrie’s rockin it.

gigi

I went back and forth on this one for a while. On the one hand this is a whole lot. On the other hand Gigi has the perfect model bod and looks smokin hot.

zendaya

Congrats to Zendaya who made the best dressed list for dressing the most normal she’s ever dressed. She’s going all Lilly Pulitzer on us.

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Red Carpet, Television

CMA Awards Red Carpet 2015

I particularly love doing Country red carpets because they’re the only awards shows where the men have equally as sassy outfits, if not more eye-grabbing than their lady counterparts. Don’t eva try to hold a country man down with their loud print suits and staple headwear. So even though most of you look like you scrapped together suits from the leftovers at a seamstress, I applaud you for keeping things spicy and going there instead of sticking to a boring black tux.

WORST:

NASHVILLE, TN - NOVEMBER 04: Singer-songwriter Chase Bryant attends the 49th annual CMA Awards at the Bridgestone Arena on November 4, 2015 in Nashville, Tennessee. (Photo by John Shearer/WireImage)

Exhibit A of above rant. Shiny teal patterned jacket, chesties, and Jimmy Neutron hair. Thanks for being you, men of country.

NASHVILLE, TN - NOVEMBER 04: Karen Fairchild of Little Big Town attends the 49th annual CMA Awards at the Bridgestone Arena on November 4, 2015 in Nashville, Tennessee. (Photo by John Shearer/WireImage)

I want to like this but it looks like she’s wearing a dress with spiderwebs all over it. And I really hate spiders.

Kimberly Schlapman, of Little Big Town, arrives at the 49th annual CMA Awards at the Bridgestone Arena on Wednesday, Nov. 4, 2015, in Nashville, Tenn. (Photo by Evan Agostini/Invision/AP)

Sweet black armpit flaps.

NASHVILLE, TN - NOVEMBER 04: (L-R) Jay DeMarcus, Gary LeVox, and Joe Don Rooney of Rascal Flatts attend the 49th annual CMA Awards at the Bridgestone Arena on November 4, 2015 in Nashville, Tennessee. (Photo by Michael Loccisano/Getty Images)

Thank God one of them wore black or this would’ve been a real eye sore sitch for Rascal. Oh wait…

04 Nov 2015, Nashville, Tennessee, USA --- 04 November 2015 - Nashville, Tennessee - Kimberly Williams-Paisley. 49th CMA Awards, Country Music's Biggest Night, held at Bridgestone Arena. Photo Credit: Laura Farr/AdMedia --- Image by Ā© Laura Farr/AdMedia/AdMedia/Corbis

Seems like maybe KimberlyĀ bought this dress off Etsy.

NASHVILLE, TN - NOVEMBER 04: Musician Ashley Monroe attends the 49th annual CMA Awards at the Bridgestone Arena on November 4, 2015 in Nashville, Tennessee. (Photo by Jon Kopaloff/FilmMagic)

I think wrapping a hot pink twin bedsheet around my body for a toga party in college was more flattering than this.

NASHVILLE, TN - NOVEMBER 04: Musician Jason Aldean attends the 49th annual CMA Awards at the Bridgestone Arena on November 4, 2015 in Nashville, Tennessee. (Photo by John Shearer/WireImage)

Jason will probably never make my best dressed list, so I hope he’s kewl with that.

NASHVILLE, TN - NOVEMBER 04: Actress Erika Christensen attends the 49th annual CMA Awards at the Bridgestone Arena on November 4, 2015 in Nashville, Tennessee. (Photo by John Shearer/WireImage)

This is the epitome of a horrendous bridesmaids dress from 1993. Also why is Erika Christensen at the CMAs?

NASHVILLE, TN - NOVEMBER 04: Musician Steven Tyler attends the 49th annual CMA Awards at the Bridgestone Arena on November 4, 2015 in Nashville, Tennessee. (Photo by John Shearer/WireImage)

You know what would be really wild? If Steven showed up in a slick tuxedo. That would turn some heads.

NASHVILLE, TN - NOVEMBER 04: Preston Brust (L) and Chris Lucas of LoCash Cowboys attend the 49th annual CMA Awards at the Bridgestone Arena on November 4, 2015 in Nashville, Tennessee. (Photo by Michael Loccisano/Getty Images)

We have a TRUCKER HAT. I REPEAT, A TRUCKER HAT. And once you get past the shock of 2003 Ashton Kutcher, a white fedora, matching jacket combo deal.

NASHVILLE, TN - NOVEMBER 04: Singer Danielle Bradbery attends the 49th annual CMA Awards at the Bridgestone Arena on November 4, 2015 in Nashville, Tennessee. (Photo by John Shearer/WireImage)

Not really understanding this idea of sheer paneled legs. Just wear a short dress and call it a day.

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No thank you, Jennifer Nettles.

NASHVILLE, TN - NOVEMBER 04: Musician Scotty McCreery attends the 49th annual CMA Awards at the Bridgestone Arena on November 4, 2015 in Nashville, Tennessee. (Photo by Jon Kopaloff/FilmMagic)

He’s already pretty creeps and then throws on an embroidered jacket so that didn’t really help things.

NASHVILLE, TN - NOVEMBER 04: Dan Smyers and Shay Mooney of Dan + Shay attend the 49th annual CMA Awards at the Bridgestone Arena on November 4, 2015 in Nashville, Tennessee. (Photo by John Shearer/WireImage)

The hair ruins everything for me here. Gelled pompadours AREN’T cool.

NASHVILLE, TN - NOVEMBER 04: Singer Cam attends the 49th annual CMA Awards at the Bridgestone Arena on November 4, 2015 in Nashville, Tennessee. (Photo by John Shearer/WireImage)

This dress reminds me of a mix between banana peels and leaves, either way it’s too weird

BEST:

NASHVILLE, TN - NOVEMBER 04: Songwriter Kyle Jacobs and musical artist Kellie Pickler attend the 49th annual CMA Awards at the Bridgestone Arena on November 4, 2015 in Nashville, Tennessee. (Photo by Michael Loccisano/Getty Images)

This is really classy and elegant, especially for 1 out of 100 country awards. You go, grl.

NASHVILLE, TN - NOVEMBER 04: Musical duo Lennon & Maisy attend the 49th annual CMA Awards at the Bridgestone Arena on November 4, 2015 in Nashville, Tennessee. (Photo by Michael Loccisano/Getty Images)

Why couldn’t the Conrad sisters perform? THAT would be must-see TV.

NASHVILLE, TN - NOVEMBER 04: Singer-songwriter Kacey Musgraves attends the 49th annual CMA Awards at the Bridgestone Arena on November 4, 2015 in Nashville, Tennessee. (Photo by Michael Loccisano/Getty Images)

Kacey threw me a curveball tonight. No arts and crafts accessories, no beehive hairstyle, she just looks pretty.

NASHVILLE, TN - NOVEMBER 04: John Osborne and T.J. Osborne of Brothers Osborne attend the 49th annual CMA Awards at the Bridgestone Arena on November 4, 2015 in Nashville, Tennessee. (Photo by Michael Loccisano/Getty Images)

Beard’s got a weird jacket vibe going on but leather jacket Osborne is doing all sorts of things for me.

NASHVILLE, TN - NOVEMBER 04: Singer-songwriter Lee Ann Womack attends the 49th annual CMA Awards at the Bridgestone Arena on November 4, 2015 in Nashville, Tennessee. (Photo by Michael Loccisano/Getty Images)

LeAnn with a sassy little frock. Showing Carrie she’s not the only country singer with stems!

04 November 2015 - Nashville, Tennessee - Thomas Rhett, Lauren Gregory. 49th CMA Awards, Country Music's Biggest Night, held at Bridgestone Arena. Photo Credit: Laura Farr/AdMedia

Thomas Rhett was out shined by his smokeshow wife and her dress that I’m obsessed with.

NASHVILLE, TN - NOVEMBER 04: Singer Miranda Lambert attends the 49th annual CMA Awards at the Bridgestone Arena on November 4, 2015 in Nashville, Tennessee. (Photo by Michael Loccisano/Getty Images)

What do you do when you’re about to see your ex-husband in front of the cameras for the first time? Dye your hair pink, duh.

NASHVILLE, TN - NOVEMBER 04: Singer-songwriter Sam Hunt attends the 49th annual CMA Awards at the Bridgestone Arena on November 4, 2015 in Nashville, Tennessee. (Photo by John Shearer/WireImage)

A fall-influenced suit. Hell yeah.

NASHVILLE, TN - NOVEMBER 04: Singer-songwriter Cole Swindell attends the 49th annual CMA Awards at the Bridgestone Arena on November 4, 2015 in Nashville, Tennessee. (Photo by John Shearer/WireImage)

I’m willing to overlook the baseball cap for this spicy burgundy suit on Cole.

NASHVILLE, TN - NOVEMBER 04: Model Hannah Davis attends the 49th annual CMA Awards at the Bridgestone Arena on November 4, 2015 in Nashville, Tennessee. (Photo by John Shearer/WireImage)

Slow whistle for the future Mrs. Jeter. Hot diggity damn.

Justin Timberlake arrives at the 49th annual CMA Awards at the Bridgestone Arena on Wednesday, Nov. 4, 2015, in Nashville, Tenn. (Photo by Evan Agostini/Invision/AP)

Everyone knows all JT needs to do is show up and he makes my best dressed list. Shameless.

NASHVILLE, TN - NOVEMBER 04: Recording artist Luke Bryan attends the 49th annual CMA Awards at the Bridgestone Arena on November 4, 2015 in Nashville, Tennessee. (Photo by John Shearer/WireImage)

Luke never fails to dazzle me but all I need from his is a white tee and baseball cap.

NASHVILLE, TN - NOVEMBER 04: Recording artist Brett Eldredge attends the 49th annual CMA Awards at the Bridgestone Arena on November 4, 2015 in Nashville, Tennessee. (Photo by Michael Loccisano/Getty Images)

My boo.

NASHVILLE, TN - NOVEMBER 04: Actor Riley Smith attends the 49th annual CMA Awards at the Bridgestone Arena on November 4, 2015 in Nashville, Tennessee. (Photo by Michael Loccisano/Getty Images)

Latest installment of “if you guest star on Nashville you get an invite to the CMA’s.” I don’t hate it. More Riley Smith for me!

NASHVILLE, TN - NOVEMBER 04: Recording artist Darius Rucker attends the 49th annual CMA Awards at the Bridgestone Arena on November 4, 2015 in Nashville, Tennessee. (Photo by John Shearer/WireImage)

I may hate Hootie gone country but I can respect tha hell outta this bloutfit.

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I can get all down with this salsa number.

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Didn’t get enough hot pink tonight and I like this one a lot. David Nail you look nice as well.

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All because two people fell in love…they get invites to every Hollywood event ever. All in on Shawn’s suit, hard pass on Kaitlyn’s dress. I’ve seen a bajillion better outfits on her.

NASHVILLE, TN - NOVEMBER 04: Musical duo Shawna Thompson and Keifer Thompson of Thompson Square attend the 49th annual CMA Awards at the Bridgestone Arena on November 4, 2015 in Nashville, Tennessee. (Photo by Michael Loccisano/Getty Images)

Thompson Square looking glam city.

NASHVILLE, TN - NOVEMBER 04: Singer-songwriter Cassadee Pope attends the 49th annual CMA Awards at the Bridgestone Arena on November 4, 2015 in Nashville, Tennessee. (Photo by John Shearer/WireImage)

Usually the one sleeve thing is a little jarring but I’m alright with this scandal.

04 November 2015 - Nashville, Tennessee - Jana Kramer, Mike Caussin. 49th CMA Awards, Country Music's Biggest Night, held at Bridgestone Arena. Photo Credit: Laura Farr/AdMedia *** Please Use Credit from Credit Field ***

If you follow Jana on insta, you would know she’s preggers because she makes sure to directly comment on her bump in every post so it makes perfect sense that her hand is essentially glued to her baby belly on the red carpet. Also fist bump for putting the pregnancy rack on display.

NASHVILLE, TN - NOVEMBER 04: Singer-songwriter Kelsea Ballerini attends the 49th annual CMA Awards at the Bridgestone Arena on November 4, 2015 in Nashville, Tennessee. (Photo by John Shearer/WireImage)

Princess Kelsea. Glad she made it to the CMA’s this year because her songs are fire flames and she’s a little cutie.

NASHVILLE, TN - NOVEMBER 04: Singer-songwriter Dustin Lynch attends the 49th annual CMA Awards at the Bridgestone Arena on November 4, 2015 in Nashville, Tennessee. (Photo by John Shearer/WireImage)

Ignore the stupid pose, ignore the stupid pose.

Kimberly Perry, of The Band Perry, arrives at the 49th annual CMA Awards at the Bridgestone Arena on Wednesday, Nov. 4, 2015, in Nashville, Tenn. (Photo by Evan Agostini/Invision/AP)

The Sleek Perry

NASHVILLE, TN - NOVEMBER 04: Singer-songwriter Tyler Farr attends the 49th annual CMA Awards at the Bridgestone Arena on November 4, 2015 in Nashville, Tennessee. (Photo by John Shearer/WireImage)

I love this peacoat material jacket. Sophisticated AND trendy.

Reid Perry, of The Band Perry, arrive at the 49th annual CMA Awards at the Bridgestone Arena on Wednesday, Nov. 4, 2015, in Nashville, Tenn. (Photo by Evan Agostini/Invision/AP)

I laughed out loud when I saw Perry Bro 1 with his messy bun and realized this is EXACTLY what my hair looks like when I toss it up at the end of the day. Not sure if that’s a commentary on me or him.

Fave Look of the Night:

November 4, 2015 Nashville, Tn. Carrie Underwood 49th Annual Country Music Association Awards held at the Bridgestone Arena Ā© Curtis Hilbun / AFF-USA.COM

She may have 12 outfit changes throughout the evening but her red carpet look did it for me.

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Red Carpet

Emmys 2015 Red Carpet

Back in biz with legit–no one is shouting profanities at each other or declaring their upcoming run for office–awards shows. Let’s get right to it.

PS I’d like to formally apologize for the abrupt change in picture size, I did this really hilarious and cool thing called dumping a glass of water on my macbook this weekend (woooooo party animal) and had to get ratchet to deliver this red carpet blog–half done on my phone, half on the computer. Shout out to mah bestie for loaning me her laptop for the night. True friends loan electronics for a completely unnecessary and inconsequential blog post. Needlepoint THAT on a pillow.

WORST:

Ā Ā Ā christina-hendricks

Girl, we get it. Ya got some yabbos. Don’t need to always see them.

giuliana-rancic-emmys-2015-emmy-awards

Do Less, Giulz.

heidi-klum-03-290

I don’t understand how this is a finished product.

kiernan-shipka-01-290

This girl is 15, and I get that when you’re 15 you want to wear a cute top and leggings, but like not on a red carpet.

laura-prepon-emmys-2015-emmy-awards

Completely unnecessary embroidered shoulder hat.

mindykaling

It kills me to do this but I sincerely hate this mustard bottle color. I know she can look more glam, she crushes it ever other time.

sarah-paulson

She literally looks like a statue in this.

tatiana-maslany

This outfit gives Tatiana an unfortunate jenis, err I guess since she’s wearing a tuxedo, a tuxenis.

Chains were apparently suuupes trend-doggs this year. I don’t love it. I also don’t love Hugh’s woof bedhead.

Eye sore dress.

Maisie decided to turn the Emmy’s into MK&A’s Sleepover Party, I guess.

Ā Ā 

I don’t know, I’m just not feeling anything about this look.

It certainly is Amy’s year but c’mon. This is not a flattering pick. Props for the hand fan though, I used to love setting that bad boy up on my desk at school only to have an immature little grubberĀ stick his fingers in it while it was running.

Look! It’s the just sewn together cupcake.

Ā Ā 

Besides the very 70’s curtains bottom, that bright blue smokey eye is roof stooof.

I quite literally shrieked in fear when I saw this. American Horror Story is correct.

Matt LeBlanc looks like he’s working red carpet security detail. Bruh, act like you’ve been here before.

I feel like the Emmy’s aren’t the place to leave nothing to the imagination.

BEST:

ariel-winter

Getting a breast reduction may have been slapping God in the face, but these warlocks look fab now. Very subtle and elegant.

amy-poehler

Amy with the sassy cutouts, grrrrllll new hair, new you!

aubrey-plaza

Aubrey is smiling and showing sass leg!

LOS ANGELES, CA - SEPTEMBER 20: Actress Gina Rodriguez attends the 67th Annual Primetime Emmy Awards at Microsoft Theater on September 20, 2015 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Steve Granitz/WireImage)

Gina always nails it, looking like a pretty princess

maggie-gyllenhaal-emmys-2015-emmy-awards

Quite possibly the only time Maggie has ever graced my best dressed. My friend thought her tan was too much but I can dig all up on this dress. She has a body! And doesn’t look like a frumpy aunt. STEPS IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION, MAGZ.

padma-lakshmi-emmys-2015-emmy-awards

How anyone can wear a dress this tight and not have the mint they ate before hitting the carpet visible is beyond me, but Padma looks like a smokeshow.

regina-king-emmys-2015-emmy-awards

Regina wearing a dress that reminds me of A Cinderella Story, coincidence?

rico-rodriguez-435

Modern Family kiddies dress better than half the adults in the room. Smooth.

IMAGE DISTRIBUTED FOR THE TELEVISION ACADEMY - Robin Wright arrives at the 67th Primetime Emmy Awards on Sunday, Sept. 20, 2015, at the Microsoft Theater in Los Angeles. (Photo by Dan Steinberg/Invision for the Television Academy/AP Images)

This dress accentuates her bod and not in a “gawd mom stop trying so hard” way

sarah-hyland

Gr8 fall color and perfect fit.

taraji-henson

This is a little on the scandalous side, but it wouldn’t be Taraji if it wasn’t. (Again with the 2chainz though)

uzo-aduba-emmys-2015-emmy-awards

The best pink look of the night! Uzo looks fab.

Julie Bowen kept it simple and crushed it.

Sassy suits and setting an example for red carpet bros.

Wears the same dress every red carpet and yet, if it ain’t broke don’t fix it.

This is a lot, but at the same time fits well and she’s workin it.

Matching lips and dress combo deal

Emma went ole Hollywood glam on this one and I’m all aboard.

LADY GAGA LOOKS LIKE A HUMAN. I REPEAT, NORMAL GAGA.

Billy looking sharp with a little front highlight.

Tina usually keeps it black and white and it’s timeless

I like Naomi’s dress by itself but I’m really digging these two looks togets.

January came in red hot with a onesie giving me some Little Mermaid vibes, in a good way.

Ā Ā I would like this dress, pls. Black floral deetz and a cutout for party in the midriff–can’t go wrong. Fave dress of the night!

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Red Carpet

TIFF Red Carpet(s)

This past weekend was the Toronto International Film Festival and I was so moved by the celeb appearances (read: there’s not much else going on this week…blog-wise) I decided to collect the looks for a best and worst dressed. Kudos to the ladies because the good news is there were much more best looks than worst. This gives me much hope for awards season.

WORST:

alia-shawkat

This outfit is atrocious in all forms of the word.

dakota-johnson-290

I would be surprised if Dakota wore an outfit that didn’t make me want to upchuck fifty shades of vomit.

drew-barrymore-290

Drew coming up Granny on this one.

naomi-watts

Cake topper Naomi Watts

rachelweisz

WHAT HAPPENED. Did the seamstress sew togets a bunch of scraps?

BEST:

jake

Starting out with the only male worthy of my list. Yum.

TORONTO, ON - SEPTEMBER 11: Actress Sandra Bullock arrives to the

Sandy B bringing the bangs back!

rachel-mcadams-290

My #2 girl crush looking like an angel goddess.

elizabeth-olsen-2-290

Who would’ve thought the littlest Olsen would end up the most normal? Speaking of, what’s Trent been up to…have they sold him yet?

amber-heard-290

It’s rare that Amber Heard isn’t wearing something edgy, she wears fairy princess well.

emily-blunt-290

Spicy neon shoes.

julianne-moore

A cute frock for Julianne.

kate-mara

Grow out the buzz cut and this would be top notch.

naomi-watts-2

Naomi redeemed her earlier cupcake number.

mischa-barton

Never in a million years thought Mischa Barton would look pulled together enough for a best dressed but it looks like time has healed her sloppiness. Well…almost, the dress looks gr8, hair could use a brush.

imogen-poots

Imogen could double as a mime but she looks cute so whatevz.

natalie-portman

Fall florals on Natalie Portman who clearly never ages.

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VMA’s Red Carpet

The awards show that brought us Lady Gaga’s meat dress obviously is held in high regard in the fashion industry. JK this show is always a trainwreck and it’s difficult to find a best dressed anywhere near the VMA’s but I did my best…just like it took Miley all of five minutes to do her best to force my dinner back up my throat.

WORST:

Screen Shot 2015-08-30 at 8.46.37 PM

The day that I put Nicki on a best dressed list will probably be when hell freezes over.

EM-RATA

I don’t even know what to make of this outfit. It’s like pirate meets salsa dancer meets hooker.

mariska-hargitay

WITCH!

serayah

Fringe splosion. Not a good look.

Ā jillianmichaels

Jillian Michaels brings us back to 1993. Also we get it, you have abs.

KARLIE-KLOSS

Bad Blood squad not faring well on the Ju…Color and style of this dress are blah.

kelly-osbourne

I don’t understand how Kelly did Fashion Police for so long and continued to dress like a dumpster.

TAYLOR-SWIFT

C’mon Tay. Act like you’ve owned the VMA’s red carpet before. This outfit is blinding, the hair is too slicked and it looks like she can’t keep her eyes open with that cat eye overload.

Screen Shot 2015-08-30 at 9.10.10 PM

The safari twins going for matchy matchy neutrals.

HAILEE

Too many aggressive styles at once on this jumpsuit.

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Britney. We talked about this. Please cover yourself. It’s getting embarrassing.

Screen Shot 2015-08-30 at 9.49.37 PM

Justin, your hair, WOOF.

mileycyrus

Obviously. We can go ahead and book every look of the night for Miley under WORST.

BEST:

CHRISSY-TEIGEN Screen Shot 2015-08-30 at 9.18.25 PM

Elegantly slutty is what I call this look. Also John with the leather pants? DAMN.

jojo

GET OUT RIGHT NOW, it’s the end of baby JoJo.

torikelly

One of my favorite looks of the night. Tori’s crushing the going out party shorts

Ā gigi-hadid-mtv-vmas-2015-video-music-awards

I don’t think it’s possible for Gigi to look bad.

greer-grammer

Summer’s not over yet with this hot pink!

demi-lovato

This dress normally wouldn’t be for me but Demi is rocking it

Ā SELENA-GOMEZ

Selena says I’m classy AF with the black gown but also I’m not wearing a bra with the nips peek.

CARA-D

Nothing weird here, keep up the good work Cara.

vanessa-hudgens-290

I can appreciate the hippie chic on Vanessa.

nick-jonas-290

SIIICK Loutfit from Nicky J.

And for all the squad shippers…of course Tay did the red carpet with the Bad Blood crew:

Ā badbloodsquad

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Red Carpet

Teen Choice Awards Red Carpet

It’s the dog days of summer and my bloggable material is at an all-time low. Speaking of lows, I stumbled upon a circumstance where I watched half of the Teen Choice Awards. Yeah whatever, I judge myself harder than any of you could judge me but the bottom line is I know we’ve all been itching for a new red carpet of questionable ensembles to judge and here IT IS. Think of it as a little warm up for the VMA’s, which we all know will be a downright shit show.

Worst Dressed

robbie-amell-italia-ricci-teen-choice-awards-2015

Robbie Amell is the hottest piece of ass on the cusp of his acting career and he WORE THIS? Also his fiance with the ABC Family original show looks lackluster at best.

britney-spears-teen-choice-awards-2015-2

Brit Brit. At least cover your cooch when you’re out with your children. Kewl rainbow hair though girl, you’re so on trend.

Screen Shot 2015-08-16 at 8.23.44 PM

I will NEVER support men wearing tunics. This is some Justin Bieber shit, you’re better than that Mahomie.

Screen Shot 2015-08-16 at 8.23.33 PM

Did she wrap a tablecloth on over some leggings?

Screen Shot 2015-08-16 at 8.23.12 PM

“Daddy why is your shirt always wide open?”-Wiz Jr.

Screen Shot 2015-08-16 at 8.22.58 PM

I don’t know what creation those pants/leggings are but no thank you.

Screen Shot 2015-08-16 at 8.22.44 PM

The dress is 90’s which is like whatever, but to add the free hanging strands in her face really pushed it. Blossom.

Screen Shot 2015-08-16 at 8.22.37 PM

Don’t say her name three times.

Screen Shot 2015-08-16 at 8.22.02 PM

Zendaya holding up her end of the bargain to always look like she pulled her outfit out of a 3 year old’s dress up trunk.

Screen Shot 2015-08-16 at 8.21.14 PM

I can’t tell if this is beaded or velour but it’s just not doing it for me.

Screen Shot 2015-08-16 at 8.20.54 PM

This is an actual pants suit. I’m assuming from Ann Taylor. It’s not a sexy pants suit. It’s a Hillary Rodham Clinton pants suit.

Screen Shot 2015-08-16 at 8.20.46 PM

Granny dress for Emma Roberts.

Screen Shot 2015-08-16 at 8.20.37 PM

Our ice dancer number of the night.

Screen Shot 2015-08-16 at 8.20.24 PM

No snakes allowed on the blue carpet.

Best Dressed:

rachel-platten-teen-choice-awards-2015

This is an alright dress but what really knocked my socks off was when Rachel Platten sang Fight Song and wore all black with gold glitter kicks. Sneaker crush.

greer-grammer-teen-choice-awards-2015

Sucker for a crop peekaboo.

mae-whitman-teen-choice-awards-20151

One of those outfits I looked at and was like BLECH then looked at it again and was like ok I can get down with this.

portia-di-rossi-teen-choice-awards-2015

I think this jumpsuit is SASSSY, plus what is an old person supposed to wear to the Teen Choice Awards anyway?

sarah-hyland-01-435

Crop Coordinates, FTW. Also really digging on that yellow.

Screen Shot 2015-08-16 at 8.25.18 PM

Membs when Josh Peck was a heffer on Nickelodeon?

Screen Shot 2015-08-16 at 8.24.58 PM

Aca-Smooth.

Screen Shot 2015-08-16 at 8.24.41 PM

Maddie Ziegler is 12 years old and she dressed like she was 12 years old. No seriously, I’m applauding this outfit for being age appropriate. DON’T EVER GROW UP, GIRL!

Screen Shot 2015-08-16 at 8.24.24 PMScreen Shot 2015-08-16 at 8.21.39 PM

Bella Thorne is crushing this dress and also wins for smokeshow couple of the night.

Screen Shot 2015-08-16 at 8.22.29 PM

Only Uncle J can roll up to an awards show in jeans and a tee and pull it off.

Screen Shot 2015-08-16 at 8.21.50 PM

One of the hosts of the evening and she always looks gr8.

Ā Ā Screen Shot 2015-08-16 at 8.20.09 PM

LEA, GET IT GURL!!!!

For anyone wondering what you missed from not devoting any of your free time to an awards show for middle schoolers, here it is:

gabby-sidiby-teen-choice-awards-2015

You’re welcome for not including a gif. This is a real thing that happened for more than one minute of the show. So that’s that.

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Red Carpet

CMT Music Awards Red Carpet

We’re back in the swing of a country music awards show for every network, unfortunately this network is no longer a part of my cable package (elitist Comcast) so I really committed hard to delivering some bloggage. You better ‘preciate it. Probably the most difficult part of my night wasn’t watching an awards show on my laptop like a poor person, but it was trying to find enough people for my best dressed list. YIKES what slim pickins. Anywho…

Worst Dressed

Screen Shot 2015-06-10 at 8.33.24 PM

WHAT THE HELL, SAM?! DON’T STRAY FROM THE HOT COUNTRY BOY UNIFORM. JEANS, VNECK, SMILE. DAS IT.

jt-hodges-kasey-hodges-cmt-awards-2015

JT Hodges wore more sparkles than his wife. That’s supes embarrassing.

jason-aldean-cmt-music-awards-2015

Jason Aldean will forever be stuck in the 90’s. Sweet corduroy jacket and flares.

ian-somerhalder-cmt-music-awards-2015

Listen I want to throw the boys a bone here but they did a lot of this shit…looking good on top and then throwing on a pair of boots that ruined everything.

chase-rice-cmt-music-awards-2015

Going for a quick hike after this, Chase? Cmon guys, it’s not that hard to make my best dressed. Figure it out.

ashley-monroe-cmt-awards-2015

Not even joking here, is she alive?

rae-lynn-cmt-awards-2015

This is literally the pattern of one of thoseĀ rubber sun catchers you could color in from Joann Fabrics. #craftdress

brooke-hogan-cmt-awards-20152

How the hell did Brooke Hogan get an invite to these awards? Think they were scrounging or something…Anyway she wore her best Deb prom dress, with a side of nip slip. Keep it classy, grrrrrl.

aubrey-peeples-cmt-awards-20151

I’m guessing Aubrey Peeples/Jeff Fordham’s worse half rode to the red carpet on her broomstick.

kellie-pickler-cmt-awards-2015

The shiny pattern mixed with gold prom heels wasn’t Kelli’s best.

jamie-lynn-spears-cmt-awards-2015

Cute jumpsuit Jamie-Lynn but you’re on a red carpet, not bowling with your pals on Zoey 101.

hillary-scott-cmt-awards-20152

Ugh. This dress isn’t doing things for Hil. She redeems herself with a white hot performance outfit.

nicole-kidman-cmt-awards-2015

Meh.

Best Dressed:

Screen Shot 2015-06-10 at 8.33.07 PM

Take notes, boys.

Screen Shot 2015-06-10 at 8.32.57 PM

Dierks gets it. GuysĀ can literally wear an undershirt and some tight jeans and still crush a red carpet.

IMG_5202

I ripped this off Brett’s snapchat like the creep that I am but there weren’t any pics online and I just know he looks like a dime.

jana-kramer-cmt-awards-2015

Jana could do less with this look but the color looks good on her and obviously respect tha hell out of that bod.

jessie-james-decker-cmt-awards-2015

LBD never fails, JJD keeping it simple and still looking like a smoke.

kimberly-perry-cmt-awards-20151

Svelte look for KPerry

erin-andrews-cmt-awards-2015-2

Just enough skin to keep it elegant.

jenna-dewan-cmt-awards-2015

There’s a reason she’s married to Magic Mike.

brittany-snow-cmt-awards-2015

Both hosts delivering on the red carpet with classic black and white.

nikki-reed-cmt-awards-20151

Dig the different dress style, could’ve really used a sassy pony with it to seal the deal.

danielle-bradbery-cmt-awards-20151

Fun sparkle mini on Danielle Bradbury

laura-bell-bundy-cmt-awards-20151

Girl is pulling off the jumpsuit and it’s unlike anything else on this red carpet.

Best Look of the Night…

carrie-underwood-cmt-awards-20151

I mean obviously. When did she have a baby? This morning? Those legs though.

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Red Carpet

Billboard Music Awards Red Carpet

Hey guys, I actually showered on No-Shower-Sunday so this gives me every right to rank who looked like a garbage can at the Billboard’s.

Worst:

zendaya

Zendaya’s back to barf.com outfits.

rita-ora-billboard-music-awards

Not a good enough reason to show your belly button and almost vagina, Rita.

jussie-smollet-bbmas-red-carpet-2015-billboard-400

Sweet noutfit (nude outfit), Jussie.

LAS VEGAS, NV - MAY 17:  Musician Meghan Trainor attends the 2015 Billboard Music Awards at MGM Grand Garden Arena on May 17, 2015 in Las Vegas, Nevada.  (Photo by Jason Merritt/Getty Images)

This is a Christmas party dress. Let’s stick to summer thoughts.

LAS VEGAS, NV - MAY 17:  Actress/singer Jennifer Lopez attends the 2015 Billboard Music Awards at MGM Grand Garden Arena on May 17, 2015 in Las Vegas, Nevada.  (Photo by Steve Granitz/WireImage)LAS VEGAS, NV - MAY 17:  Musician Jennifer Lopez attends the 2015 Billboard Music Awards at MGM Grand Garden Arena on May 17, 2015 in Las Vegas, Nevada.  (Photo by Jason Merritt/Getty Images)

COME ONNN. WHY ARE YOU EVEN WEARING A DRESS AT THIS POINT?

LAS VEGAS, NV - MAY 17:  Singer Mariah Carey attends the 2015 Billboard Music Awards at MGM Grand Garden Arena on May 17, 2015 in Las Vegas, Nevada.  (Photo by Jason Merritt/Getty Images)

Because only Mariah would walk the red carpet with oversized sunglasses like an asshole.

brit

Brit. Woof.

chrissy-teigen-john-legend-bbmas-red-carpet-billboard-400

This dress is making me dizzy.Ā Sry, girl.

The English-Irish pop band One Direction attends the 2015 Billboard Music Awards, May 17, 2015, at the MGM Grand Garden Arena in Las Vegas, Nevada.  AFP PHOTO / ROBYN BECK        (Photo credit should read ROBYN BECK/AFP/Getty Images)

All I’ve ever wanted is for Harry to throw a little dry shampoo in that lettuce of his.

Best:

britney-spears-iggy-azalea-bbmas-red-carpet-2015-billboard-400

I-G-G-Y coming in Saasssyyy. Could be because she’s standing next to dud city but I dig.

brett-eldrege-660

Yes, please.

nick-jonas-bbmas-red-carpet-2015-billboard-400

Nick knew my favorite color is purple. He’s just toying with my emotions now.

50-cent-bbmas-red-carpet-2015-billboard-400

FIDDY. Left field. Fresh to death.

taraji

Taraji has been dressing like a sassmonster lately and I don’t hate it.

jesse-mccartney-bbmas-red-carpet-billboard-400

Jesse never disappoints in his suit game.

bryshere-y.-gray-billboard-music-awards-red-carpet-2015-billboard-400

This grew on me, the men are really impressing me with the unique suits this time around.

tswizzleScreen Shot 2015-05-17 at 9.22.48 PM

Tay is owning this. Strut city with those billion dollar legs.

Obv fave outfit of the night and also squad goals:

taylor-swift-bad-blood-girls-bbmas-red-carpet-2015-billboard-650

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