Red Carpet

SAG Awards Red Carpet 2020

The SAG Awards is where Hollywood focuses on their *craft* of acting and boy is it so douchey every year…and yet still more tolerable than the Oscars. Since the actors were talking about themselves and their acting peers and how hard acting is, it meant they took a break from talking about politics and solving climate change by taking the PJ less. And I think I speak for everyone when I say that was a welcome change. Here’s what these fools were wearing…


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Can we call this a dress or is it just simply floral undies?

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GAWD JLO. I GET THAT YOU WEREN’T NOMINATED FOR AN OSCAR BUT THIS IS NOT HOW YOU REBEL. I went on a triggered rant about pieces of hair dangling in the face for the Globes red carpet and I GUESS SOME OF US DIDN’T READ THAT. If I’m going to read your weekly texts about your TikTok account, Jen, you can read my blog about how leaving chunks of your hair in your face is a trend that should NEVER EVER make a comeback.

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I have been more than generous to Nicole this awards season and that generosity stops today. The ruffles are always going to be a no for me, dawg.

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This is a table skirt.

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Renee pulled this same shit at the Globes, so feel free to see my rant about it HERE.

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I’m having a hard time understanding why the white gloves. Why is that the move here?

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H8 to do this to 1/3 of the J Sisters (gag my face off) but this dress is tacky as all hell.

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Props to Patty for putting her knockers away but no thanks to this outfit. Those are some HOARD flares.

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AHHH MY EYES, MARGOT! WHAT FRESH HELL IS THIS! From the piecey hair (seriously ladies, why are we trying to bring this back?!) to the layered gaudy jewels over PLAID and cupcake tiers. Ugh barf all over me head to toe.

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Honestly the carpet did her dirty here. I don’t think she was really planning on standing in front of a busy silver tiled wall and obviously the mixture of that with his pattern on her dress is making me want to claw my eyeballs out. At the same time, I feel like this wouldn’t have photographed well anyway. Too much, gurl.

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Speaking of too much, this BOW. Does no one learn from other’s mistakes?! JLo pulled the bow at the globes and I spit right on it and how stupid it looks. You are not a giant present. The only time wrapping yourself in a bow is acceptable is if you’re completely nude and you’re giving your hod bod as a present to your significant other (sex stuff, guys) otherwise DO NOT WEAR A GIANT BOW ANYWHERE.

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The top of this dress can only be properly described as a lampshade.

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Oh my gawwwww enough with the tiered ruffles, already.

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Hot priest or not (suh glad I finally banged out Fleabag so I can feel part of the joke for the remainder of awards season) this is a bad retro prom tux.

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What a curveball for this actress but also nope. Suuuuupez trashy. I know it’s not the Oscars and these awards air on TNT but clean it up.



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Does she age? The answer is an obvious no.

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It’s the year of Dern.

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Thank God there were no hair/makeup snafus this time around for Hollywood’s golden couple.

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Sun never sets on Sterling K Brown because the sun never sets on cool.

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This dress looks like it was LITERALLY painted on her.

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Damn gurl.

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Surprised Reese didn’t wear an Ivy Park original track suit but this is pretty edgy for her and I love it.

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Not a ton of color on the *silver* carpet so I welcome this bright blue.

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Damn Charlize is really coming at me this awards season! A silver crop top is not what I expected because I spend 90% of my breath trashing the youths and their crop tops but look at Char doin the damn thing! I take back my glitter crop hate.

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A silver gown for the silver carpet. Now where’s her silver fox?

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Close to winning my favorite look of the night for being colorful and also different.

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Flattering and elegant

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A golden shimmer in the eve.

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I feel like men were really under-represented on the ole silver carpet so here’s a little floral spice from Dan.

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Maybe it’s because I just had the flu for a week and inadvertently lost 5 lbs as I withered away on the couch but I guess I’m like really having a moment with crops and hoping to one day have the mid section to rock one (maybe if I get the flu like five more times) Pheebz did shout out her makeup artist for painting a six pack on her and it does look suspiciously like a bronzed mid section so maybe it is aspirational abs.

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JEN WORE WHITE! Honestly Jen walks out of her house and everyone salivates at everything she does–She wore white instead of a plain black gown, she looks like a rocket (as always), her and Brad have been goofin on the carpet during awards season which has EVERYONE shipping a reunion (he CHEATED on her guys, WE DON’T WANT THEM TO GET BACK TOGETHER) and also true to history, she’s free boobin. After an in depth convo with my bestie about Jen’s nips, I revealed that I’m not really into perky nipz busting through a formal gown, but at the same time, it’s America’s sweetheart Jen Aniston and she’s been doing it since the 90’s. She reserves the right to punch us all in the face with her nipples because she basically invented the trend.


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Holy bananas she looks amazing. This is normally an outfit Meryl Streep or someone of the older gen would roll through wearing and I love seeing it on a Hollywood youth. A white power move if you will. Not to be confused with white power, which is very, very racist.

Red Carpet, Television

SAG Awards Red Carpet & Recap

Another Sunday and another large glass that has suspiciously filled itself with wine has come and passed. I honestly don’t even remember if I’ve ever watched the SAG Awards before but I can pretty much assure everyone that I never want to watch them again. I punished myself beforehand by watching 2 hours of the E! Red Carpet–mostly for the mani cam (amirite?!) and had to put up with a whole lot of Maria Menunous being awkward and telling people “I Love It,” when she wanted to prove she wasn’t listening to anything they said. Ross Matthews made a lot of jokes that the celebs didn’t laugh at and Kelly Osbourne kept trying to bring the conversation back to Keira Knightley’s dress on more than one occasion. Here are the best and worst looks of the night…

Worst Dressed:

21st Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards - Red Carpet

I don’t even know who this is but she will forever be known as the SAG Salsa Dancer.

21st Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards - Red Carpet

Amanda Peet, I don’t know what’s going on with the black accents and the diamond poof in the middle but I don’t like it.

Joanna Newsom, Andy Samberg

This polka-dotted spaghetti strap combo is from an MK&A movie. I’m split though because Andy Samberg is PULLING those frames OFF.

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Not digging this dress that looks like a vest on Anna Chlumsky

TNT's 21st Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards - Red Carpet

I don’t care that you’re 17 now Ariel Winter, for pete’s sake put the boobs away for a hot second.

Gabrielle Carteris

GUYS IT’S ANDREA FROM 90210 aaand she looks rough.

Jennifer Aniston

No Jen, no. This is a curtain.

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LOVE the color, HATE the chunky waist/bottom.

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Oh Lo, why didn’t you clear your dress by LC? The cleave, the slicked hair, the flesh colored dress. Bai.

TNT's 21st Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards - Red Carpet

Mags must’ve been reading my blog and stepped up her frumpy aunt game, selecting a skin hugging white number for tonight. Well, joke’s on you Maggie cause I still don’t love it. I like where your head’s at though, keep working on it. I’ll check back on your progress at the Oscars.

21st Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards - Red Carpet

Bridesmaid dress for a Valentine’s Day wedding.

TNT's 21st Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards - Red Carpet

Meryl…dress like you own Hollywood because we all know you do. She looks like she’s 900 attending her own funeral in this outfit.

TNT's 21st Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards - Red Carpet

Off the shoulder+Fur trim on Naomi=tack city

Rosamund Pike

Do I want to take a nap in this because it looks really cushiony? Yes, yes I do. Do I think it looks good? Hard no.

Taryn Manning

This is a step up from her actual GLAD black garbage bag from the Globes but it’s still supes unflattering and a terrible color.

Viola Davis

I like everything about this dress except for the halter neck that reminds me of a bathing suit.

21st Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards - Red Carpet

I cannot with Keira this awards season. Everything she wears makes me wonder who allowed her to do so. The color is fab city, but this literally looks like someone wrapped her in scraps from Joann Fabrics and pinned it in the back. Girl has one chance left to redeem herself.

Best Dressed:

Lupita Nyong'o

Lupy was originally on my worst dressed list, then I went to write something about this dress and realized it had grown on me in like a matter of 20 minutes. She wears it well. Good work Lupdawgs.

TNT's 21st Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards - Red Carpet

Sofia doesn’t stray from the “I have the body of a bombshell and I’m going to throw it in everyone’s face”. Respect.

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People are already jumping on Amy’s shit for being pregnant, so like if you’re wondering why Hollywood women don’t eat I can pinpoint the reason why.

Claire Danes

Claire Danes wearing the army green and going for something different. I can dig it.

Emma Stone emma

YES Emma Stone making the Tuxedo jacket as a dress look cool, why you ask? Because it has a train and isn’t just her throwing on Andrew’s suit coat with a pair of heels and calling it a day.

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This is very princess mystical. (This is me trying to use different words.) Also fun fact: it’s a two piecer.

TNT's 21st Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards - Red Carpet

Felicity Jones in a soft pink looking elegant AF.

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Men only make the best dressed if they wear something other than a typical black tuxedo. Props to Jesse.

TNT's 21st Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards - Red Carpet

Julia killin the sexy lace vibe.

TNT's 21st Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards - Red Carpet

I don’t think I love this but I also don’t think I can call it a worst dressed, so you snuck this pantsuit right onto my best dressed list Julezzz.

TNT's 21st Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards - Red Carpet

Great color and super flattering dress, hair is on point too.

21st Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards - Red Carpet

Simple yet whimsical for Julie Bowen.

Kaley Cuoco-Sweeting

Love the dress…still hate the hair.

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I’m a sucker for a good animal print. What can I say.

21st Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards - Red Carpet

Maisie crushing it in the red floral dress. Might sneaky be my fave dress of the night.

Maria Menounos

It pains me to put Maria on the best dressed after listening to her TERRIBLE red carpet interview style, but I like this dress and I’m being the bigger person.

Matthew McConaughey, Camila Alves


Michael Keaton

Michael Keaton is looking sleek, man! Are those velvet loafers?!

Rashida Jones

Rashida coming in hot with the baby blue floral number.

Reese Witherspoon

Reese is chic’ing all the awards shows so hard this season.

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Another fave of the night for me, Sarah Hyland never seems to disappoint.

21st Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards - Arrivals

My gurl Sophia Bush will never end up on a worst dressed list of mine, she could wear a paper bag and make it look good.

21st Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards - Red Carpet

Uzo wearing this textured bright yellow was different and it really grew on me. She’s rockin it.


Normally I would do a separate recap of the actual awards show but in this case I can pretty much sum it up in a few sentences. There’s not even a host so instead the awards open with a man announcing people on the red carpet searching for new ways to say they look stunning with quick camera movements to the soundtrack of America’s Funniest Home Videos. Then a few actors talk directly to the camera and tell awkward back stories about their lives, introducing themselves as actors as if we didn’t already know who they are. Glad we sparked things off with the uncomfies, and the awards continue on being stiff and weird.

A fake applause cue mistakenly goes off while Reese is presenting an award and now we all know that no one could be bothered to clap for each other. William H. Macy won something and referred to wife Felicity Huffman as “Flicka”, like the horse. Jared Leto and Lupito Nyong’o present together and Jared spends his time onstage undressing Lupita with his eyes and forcing her to look to the audience for help more than once. Carrie Fisher presents her mother Debbie Reynolds with the lifetime award and gives a nice, long-winded, confusing background just to tell us Debbie is indeed her mom. Also she breathed real hard into the mic. Random observation: SO MANY GLASSES.

Naomi Watts tripped over her own dress at the end of the night and squealed into the mic. Skinny, ponytail-wearing Zach Galifianakis won the night with the only joke when he was pushed up to the mic by his Birdman cast and simply said, “When I was on As the World Turns…” mocking Julianne Moore seriously saying that same sentence moments earlier in her acceptance speech. In the final moment, the actress in Birdman that I don’t even know tried to speak into the mic after the music had already begun and the camera was panning out. The music was cut short, the camera moved back in on her and she gave a generic thank you that essentially reiterated exactly what everyone else said. That single moment can sum up this entire awards ceremony.