Pop Culture, Red Carpet, Television

Golden Globes Red Carpet Looks

The stakes are high as the first legit awards show of the season and my judgements will be harsh. I make no apologies and must reiterate that I literally know nothing about high fashion and these are all my sassy opinions formed after one glance. I also feel compelled to point out that while these women probably starve themselves 90% of the time in preparation for these few moments walking a red carpet, I am sitting on my couch, unshowered, shoving pizza into my mouth and telling them that they look ugly. All the credibility in the world, obviously.

Worst Dressed:

Alan Cumming

Alan Cumming in a skin tone suit. Yuck.

Amanda Peet

Amanda Peet looking like she wrapped herself in a bedsheet. Not flattering.

Bill Murray

I guess this is very Bill Murray…slob kebab style.

72nd Annual Golden Globe Awards - Arrivals

Claire Danes borrowed her gammy’s dress.

NBC's

Jemima Kirke looking like she stepped out of the 1990’s, only thing missing is butterfly clips and foam platforms.

Jessica Chastain

Jessica Chastain with untasteful cleavage and gold lamé.

NBC's

Hey Kate Mara, this could’ve been on the best dressed if you didn’t throw in that stupid belt.

72nd Annual Golden Globe Awards - Arrivals

Katie Cassidy leaves absolutely nothing to the imagination. Do less.

72nd Annual Golden Globe Awards - Arrivals

Keira Knightley. WHAT WERE YOU THINKING? Wins worst look of the night, year, possibly ever.

NBC's

This is so blah, baggy and unflattering. Also off the shoulder is so 80’s duhz, Kristen Wiig.

Andrew Rannells, Lena Dunham

This looks like a shitty bridesmaid dress. Also Lena Dunham always looks like frumpmaster frump.

72nd Annual Golden Globe Awards - Arrivals

Lorde in the baggy pants suit. (She probably borrowed that crop from her cheerful bestie Tay)

72nd Annual Golden Globe Awards - Arrivals

BLAH BLAH BLAH. We all know I think Maggie Gyllenhaal looks like the homely aunt at every public event. (her and Lena must be attending the same wedding circa 1992)

72nd Annual Golden Globe Awards - Arrivals

Maria Menunous with boob patterns and slicked back hair.

72nd Annual Golden Globe Awards - Arrivals

I read somewhere that Melissa McCarthy recently lost like 50lbs…this outfit does NOT show that. Also, waitress.

Giuliana Rancic

Rosamund Pike wearing a spaghetti strap dress that is just too much and makes her look top slops.

Taryn Manning

Taryn Manning in a literal trash bag.

Zosia Mamet

Cotton Candy nightmare for Zosia Mamet.

Somewhere In Between:

George Clooney, Amal Clooney

The Clooneys make their red carpet debut and it’s lackluster. The dress is just fine..the gloves are stupid. ARE YOU ABOVE US OR SOMETHING, AMAL?

72nd Golden Globes - Arrivals - LA

Is Eddie Redmayne wearing a velvet suit? Kinda lame. His wife’s dress is pretty so that’s how they landed in the middle.

72nd Annual Golden Globe Awards - Arrivals

I’ve seen G look fresher. Not cray about the mermaid bottom.

NBC's

Miss Golden Globe Greer Grammar kind of looks like she bought this from a prom dress store.

Justin Theroux, Jennifer Aniston

Jen!! Hair down. Always.

Matthew McConaughey, Camila Alves

Meh=Matthew’s scraggly beard, the top half of Camila’s dress.

Tina Fey, Amy Poehler

I truly hate to knock my favorite hosts of all time, but these outfits are not doing it for me. Fingers crossed for some improvements in the many outfit changes during the show.

Best Dressed:

NBC's

Real Talk: Has Adam Levine ever not looked bangin? Answer: No.

72nd Annual Golden Globe Awards - Arrivals

Adrian Grenier owning that plum suit.

72nd Annual Golden Globe Awards - Arrivals

Allison Tolman in a tasteful black chic gown.

Allison Williams

Red came in hot tonight and Allison Williams looked old Hollywood glam.

Amy Adams

Good color, simple and classy.

Anna Kendrick

Not in love with the hair on Anna Kendrick but the dress is on point.

Catherine Zeta-Jones

Catherine Zeta Jones in the classic red ball gown.

72nd Annual Golden Globe Awards - Arrivals

Hottest couple looking perf.

Anna Faris, Chris Pratt

Anna Faris stepped it up and she’s not even hosting this one. Pratt looks good without trying.

72nd Annual Golden Globe Awards - Arrivals

Chrissy Teigen looking like a smoke with a sassy pony.

72nd Annual Golden Globe Awards - Arrivals

Dakota Johnson with the classic disco ball dress. Still not hot enough to be in 50 Shades but I digress.

David Oyelowo

David Oyelowo with a SNAZZY patterned metallic suit.

NBC's

Pacey and Diane Kruger killing it as always.

72nd Annual Golden Globe Awards - Arrivals

Ellie Kemper pulls off the sparkly patterned dress and red lip.

72nd Annual Golden Globe Awards - Arrivals

Emily Blunt looks like a greek goddess.

72nd Annual Golden Globe Awards - Arrivals

Emmanuelle Chiriqui legit does not age.

72nd Annual Golden Globe Awards - Arrivals

Gina Rodriguez from the CW show I thought would be cancelled, loving the fringey bottom of the basic black.

NBC's

JLo still on a mission to remind everyone that she may be 45 but she sure don’t look it. Legs and tits for days.

72nd Annual Golden Globe Awards - Arrivals

Julia Louis-Dreyfus, another one who never looks her age.

72nd Annual Golden Globe Awards - Arrivals

I respect the hell out of this NYE party frock.

72nd Annual Golden Globe Awards - Arrivals

Kate Beckinsale almost won fave look of the night but the bun didn’t complete the look for me.

Kate Hudson

KATE HUDSON. BOOB. JOB. SINGLE AND READY TO MINGLE.

Katherine Heigl

COULD KATHERINE HEIGL BE SKINNIER? DAMN.

Katie Holmes

Katie Holmes looks like she did in the Dawson’s finale and I LOVE it.

Kerry Washington

I hate this dress so much that I love it. I can’t even explain that.

Leslie Mann

Good color on Leslie Mann.

Lupita Nyong'o

Lupita kills red carpets. Always on fleek (the kids are saying that these days…)

Matt Bomer

Mouth wateringly handsome. ALWAYS. Bomer jams. Amirite?!

72nd Annual Golden Globe Awards - Arrivals

Naomi Watts with a super cool snake necklace and another great yellow.

Natasha Lyonne

Natasha Lyonne doing simple and elegant.

Taylor Schilling

Hate the hair, love the dress.

72nd Annual Golden Globe Awards - Arrivals

Red sweeping the red carpet. No coincidence.

And naturally the most coveted of honors-the winner of my fave look of the night is… A TIE.

72nd Annual Golden Globe Awards - Arrivals

NEVER though my fave look would be a jumpsuit but I LOVE this look, even the capey thing in the back. Emma Stone kept it simple with jewels and hair and let the sparkle top do the talkin.

72nd Annual Golden Globe Awards - Arrivals

Reese Witherspoon had a big year with films and looks GR8 in this simple slimming gown. Less is more (also can you tell I’m into the sparkles?)

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