Red Carpet

Teen Choice Awards Red Carpet

It’s the dog days of summer and my bloggable material is at an all-time low. Speaking of lows, I stumbled upon a circumstance where I watched half of the Teen Choice Awards. Yeah whatever, I judge myself harder than any of you could judge me but the bottom line is I know we’ve all been itching for a new red carpet of questionable ensembles to judge and here IT IS. Think of it as a little warm up for the VMA’s, which we all know will be a downright shit show.

Worst Dressed

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Robbie Amell is the hottest piece of ass on the cusp of his acting career and he WORE THIS? Also his fiance with the ABC Family original show looks lackluster at best.

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Brit Brit. At least cover your cooch when you’re out with your children. Kewl rainbow hair though girl, you’re so on trend.

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I will NEVER support men wearing tunics. This is some Justin Bieber shit, you’re better than that Mahomie.

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Did she wrap a tablecloth on over some leggings?

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“Daddy why is your shirt always wide open?”-Wiz Jr.

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I don’t know what creation those pants/leggings are but no thank you.

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The dress is 90’s which is like whatever, but to add the free hanging strands in her face really pushed it. Blossom.

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Don’t say her name three times.

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Zendaya holding up her end of the bargain to always look like she pulled her outfit out of a 3 year old’s dress up trunk.

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I can’t tell if this is beaded or velour but it’s just not doing it for me.

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This is an actual pants suit. I’m assuming from Ann Taylor. It’s not a sexy pants suit. It’s a Hillary Rodham Clinton pants suit.

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Granny dress for Emma Roberts.

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Our ice dancer number of the night.

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No snakes allowed on the blue carpet.

Best Dressed:

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This is an alright dress but what really knocked my socks off was when Rachel Platten sang Fight Song and wore all black with gold glitter kicks. Sneaker crush.

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Sucker for a crop peekaboo.

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One of those outfits I looked at and was like BLECH then looked at it again and was like ok I can get down with this.

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I think this jumpsuit is SASSSY, plus what is an old person supposed to wear to the Teen Choice Awards anyway?

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Crop Coordinates, FTW. Also really digging on that yellow.

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Membs when Josh Peck was a heffer on Nickelodeon?

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Aca-Smooth.

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Maddie Ziegler is 12 years old and she dressed like she was 12 years old. No seriously, I’m applauding this outfit for being age appropriate. DON’T EVER GROW UP, GIRL!

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Bella Thorne is crushing this dress and also wins for smokeshow couple of the night.

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Only Uncle J can roll up to an awards show in jeans and a tee and pull it off.

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One of the hosts of the evening and she always looks gr8.

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LEA, GET IT GURL!!!!

For anyone wondering what you missed from not devoting any of your free time to an awards show for middle schoolers, here it is:

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You’re welcome for not including a gif. This is a real thing that happened for more than one minute of the show. So that’s that.

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Music, Pop Culture, Red Carpet, Television

AMA’s Fashion

I expressed my excitement for the AMA’s today and both of my sisters asked me if I was 12. The answer is a hard yes. The AMA’s are maybe one step above the VMA’s in maturity level and I don’t even curr. Let’s judge how the tweens and young adult pop singers of this year dressed for such an event. Apparently if you didn’t have at least one full leg out to play, you were a nobody. I personally preferred the nobodies.

Worst Dressed:

zendaya

Zendaya wearing some satin sheets and a bandeau bikini top.

jordin sparks

Is stripper gold costume material back in style and I missed the memo? Jordin Sparks needed to step it up and show Jason DeRulo that she’s lookin like a dime.

heidi

More sparkles, more leg. Are we seeing a trend here? Leave the crops to the young’ns Heidi.

fergie

If the leg wasn’t so forceful I would actually like this dress.

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Ok Morticia Adams, we get it, you have D cups. Charli XCX going nips out for the awards.

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Happy Thanksgiving, the turkey has arrived!

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This looks like a homemade dress for the sorority 80’s party, only thing missing is a scrunchie.

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Magic looking like they stumbled out of a thrift shop (I’d bet money that they did) smelling of incense.

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Imagine Dragons with a weird bib shirt, 60’s shades vibe. Hipsters, man.

jlo

Hey JLo, I know you invented the “booty” and all but you’re 45 and this is no longer an acceptable article of clothing to be wearing in public.

Best Dressed:

1d

One Direction with some leopard accents. YAS.

kate

Could do without the snake necklace on Kate Beckinsale but the dress is perfection.

mtrainor

Simple and classy, plus an obnoxious lips clutch for sass. Megan Trainor shows us you don’t need to have a slit up to your vagina to look good.

SELENA

Selena with the tight black dress and open back giving the Biebs a taste of what he’s missing.

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Becky G looking cute as a button with a sassy pony and approps party dress.

dianna agron

This dress is pretty stupid but I’m kinda digging on the crazy updo with the headband.

nicki

Nicki making my best dressed list because she is the most covered I have ever seen her and I encourage this wholeheartedly.

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I’m digging Rita Ora’s yellow ball gown a lot. There’s coverage and a nice change up of color.

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Lucy Hale with another classic short cocktail dress and simple hair/makeup look. Girl knows how to play the awards show game, if it ain’t broke don’t fix it.

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I didn’t see a lot of nice men red carpet pics, so I’m including this for gender equality purposes. Nick Jonas with a real uncomfy pose but a nice dapper suit.

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Julianne Hough with a saucy summer number that I don’t hate. Get it, gurl.

Stay tuned for my full recap post-awards. I can give you a teaser right now that the awards are a straight up trainwreck and I should win something just for watching them in full. I do it all for my fans.

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