Pop Culture, Red Carpet

SAG Awards Red Carpet 2018

HEY! We’re back on that usual red carpet grind of multi-colored dresses just in time for the Oscars! Phew. I couldn’t do another red carpet of all black errething regardless of the statement being made. I think the welcoming of color made me a lot more generous with my best dressed tonight. Also props to the nuggets of Hollywood for swaggin out hardcore, forcing me to acknowledge a whole lotta children’s fashion.

WORST

24th Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards - Arrivals

What fresh hell is this, Molly Sims? Are you an 80’s bridesmaid?

24th Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards - Red Carpet

WOOF. What is happening here?

24th Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards - Red Carpet

This really doesn’t look bad but I have a bone to pick with velvet from a personal standpoint. Saarryyyy.

24th Annual Screen Actors†Guild Awards - Arrivals

This is fun because it’s like little house on the prairie but with nipple sheer cutouts. Hmmm…

24th Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards - Arrivals

Niecey with those tits out for the boys AND salsa sleeves. Lot happenin up top.

24th Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards - Arrivals

I don’t love these multi-directional stripes.

24th Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards - Arrivals

Alison Williams going for the flapper who hasn’t washed her hair in a week lewk.

24th Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards - Arrivals

I’ll say it once again for the people in the back, CUTOUTS MAKE YOU LOOK FAT, LADIES–EVEN THOUGH YOU’RE ACTUALLY VERY SKINNY.

24th Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards - Red Carpet

I watched an episode of Say Yes to the Dress yesterday that had a particularly over the top crystal wedding gown and this bedazzle on top of her dress is giving me traumatic flashbacks.

24th Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards - Arrivals

This resembles a curtain too much to me.

24th Annual Screen Actors†Guild Awards - Arrivals

Even though this dress is pink and sparkly, that damn tassel ribbon in the middle is giving off some hardcore altar boy uniform vibes.

24th Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards, Arrivals, Los Angeles, USA - 21 Jan 2018

I just don’t understand what these lady fingers dazzling across her torso and bosom are supposed to be.

24th Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards - Arrivals

I’m going against my girl Connie because I’ve seen her look a zillion times better. This isn’t the right dress for her.

BEST

24th Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards - Arrivals

This is a pretty daring V but because Laura’s boobs aren’t poking me in the eyeball, it works nicely.

24th Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards - Red Carpet

Don’t get to see a lot of hunter green in the mix and I ‘preash it.

24th Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards - Arrivals

DAWWWWWWWWW.

24th Annual Screen Actors†Guild Awards - Arrivals

You KNOW I’m being generous when I’m tossing Nicole on the best dressed. But seriously girl looks good AND she has the flu. So like no excuses for any other red carpet appearance she’s had.

24th Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards, Arrivals, Los Angeles, USA - 21 Jan 2018

I looooove this shade of blue on Manders.

24th Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards, Arrivals, Los Angeles, USA - 21 Jan 2018

Dunno who this is but I want to tuck myself into this skirt and take a nice snoozer.

24th Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards - Arrivals

Leslie Bibb looks like a babe soda also she’s significantly taller than Sam and snaps for her because I have a real complex with towering over my man.

24th Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards - Arrivals

If I were ever allowed near a red carpet you bet your ass I’d wear chucks with my dress.

24th Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards - Red Carpet

Liking this dress caught me off guard because it’s the actual same color as her skin. And yet she still looks beautiful and not like she’s wearing a skinsuit.

24th Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards - Arrivals

Could probably do without the fur lap band but still pretty.

24th Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards - Red Carpet

I wish her hair was down but otherwise the dress looks good. No parrot this time!

24th Annual Screen Actors†Guild Awards - Arrivals

THIS IS FUN!

24th Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards - Arrivals

Always love a good crisp white dress.

24th Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards - Arrivals

What a stud with the loafer-hunter green combo deal.

24th Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards - Arrivals

Ya boy Miguel from This is Us from left field!

24th Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards - Arrivals

Of course Sterling is rocking stunna shades.

24th Annual SAG Awards - Arrivals, Los Angeles, USA - 21 Jan 2018

24th Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards - Red Carpet

Mini Kev and Mini Randall from This is Us both poppin in prints!

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Red Carpet

SAG Awards Red Carpet 2017

Pretty much the most entertaining thing about this awards show is that you can call them the SAG’s and everyone gives you a weird look and maybe a giggle when you do. Otherwise it’s just another snooze-aroni in secondhand awards shows. I mean, the SAG AFTRA president currently is Andrea Zuckerman. Yikes.

andrea

Because these awards are basura, the stars dressed as such. It was a real stretch to pull together a best dressed list. But I did it anyway, because I am a true American hero. I also accidentally got solo drunk during the show–and wrote this blog afterwards. You’re welcome, everyone.

WORST

The 23rd Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards - Red Carpet

Two thumbs down for the skin-toned craft corner beaded dress.

The 23rd Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards - Red Carpet

Oh, ok yes. Parrots and sequins. So hot right now.

Emma Stone

I’m legitimately perplexed by this dress. Is the ripped part just hanging off of her body? I wish she just wore the underlayer.

23rd Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards - Arrivals

Actual eyesore.

The 23rd Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards, Arrivals, Los Angeles, USA - 29 Jan 2017

I’m beginning to wonder if everyone forgot about the SAG’s (insert immature giggle) and stopped by the thrift store on the way to the red carpet.

The 23rd Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards, Arrivals, Los Angeles, USA - 29 Jan 2017

This is a pillow case with puffy sleeves, essentially.

The 23rd Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards - Red Carpet

Nothing accents burgundy quite like wispy cotton candy hair, is what I always like to say.

The 23rd Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards - Red Carpet

Kimmy K’s number one stan as always looking age approps.

The 23rd Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards, Arrivals, Los Angeles, USA - 29 Jan 2017

No clue who this is but there are no words.

The 23rd Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards, Arrivals, Los Angeles, USA - 29 Jan 2017

I’m astonished that whiny B Kit, formerly of the Rockford Peaches, is still holding court in Hollywood, but here she is gracing my worst dressed list and winning awards and shit.

The 23rd Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards - Red Carpet

Welp that’s it. I can’t stand behind Soph on this one. She matched her eyeshadow to her FUSCHIA dress. Woof city, population: Sophia Bush. Add in the gelled front pieces she has dangling in her face and we’ve got a full-on 90’s prom look.

The 23rd Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards - Arrivals

Couldn’t have completed this look without the matching whimsical necklace.

The 23rd Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards - Arrivals

This is normal.

The 23rd Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards - Red Carpet

It’s not necessary to twinsicle it up with your hubs, Chrissy.

The 23rd Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards, Arrivals, Los Angeles, USA - 29 Jan 2017

Casj hip floral arrangement.

The 23rd Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards - Red Carpet

We get it, ERW, you’re making a suit statement for all red carpets this season.

The 23rd Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards - Red Carpet

Pig.Tail.Bunz.

BEST

The 23rd Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards, Arrivals, Los Angeles, USA - 29 Jan 2017

I think this is the most covered I’ve seen Taraji. Suh elegant with a side of full boobs on display.

The 23rd Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards - Arrivals

Hair isn’t gr8 but this dress is alright. (We’re reaching here, folks.)

The 23rd Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards, Arrivals, Los Angeles, USA - 29 Jan 2017

This looks comfy.

The 23rd Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards, Arrivals, Los Angeles, USA - 29 Jan 2017

Having hummingbirds embroidered on your dress is pretty odd, but Gina’s rack looks top notch! Three cheers!

The 23rd Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards, Arrivals, Los Angeles, USA - 29 Jan 2017

The girls are out to plaaaaayyyy.

The 23rd Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards, Arrivals, Los Angeles, USA - 29 Jan 2017

This is one of my favorite for Sofia. She always wears the same dress to every show and this is a welcome change

The 23rd Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards, Arrivals, Los Angeles, USA - 29 Jan 2017

Julie Bowen coming in hawt with the risque!

23rd Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards - Arrivals

I’m mostly surprised that a YouTube star was on the red carpet best dressed but also she actually looks really good.

23rd Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards - Arrivals

This dress is nice.

23rd Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards - Arrivals

I hadn’t seen Krasinski on a red carpet in so long I literally drooled at the sight of him.

The 23rd Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards - Arrivals

THIS IS FUN!

23rd Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards - Red Carpet

It’s weird that Jonah went from frat bro at the Golden Globes to dapper Dan at the SAG’s but I approve.

The 23rd Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards - Arrivals

Rock that off the shoulder trend, grrrrrrl! (It’s possible that my drinking game “drink every time politics is mentioned” has truly kicked in at this point.)

The 23rd Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards - Arrivals

I’ve spent far too long trying to figure out what this jewelry sitch is.

The 23rd Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards - Red Carpet

Purple camo yaaasssss Busy!

The 23rd Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards, Arrivals, Los Angeles, USA - 29 Jan 2017

Jazzy suit for the win.

23rd Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards

This dress is fab, but due to the asymmetrical neckline it looks like her right boob is 1000x bigger than her left. Demz da breaks.

The 23rd Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards - Red Carpet

Cla$$ Act. (I know it’s not nice to say and this isn’t even a little bit a comment on her weight because obviously she’s skinny as possible but black and white layered like this will always remind me of Willy and I can’t help it. #KillerWhaleBesties4Lyfe)

Fave look of the night:

The 23rd Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards, Arrivals, Los Angeles, USA - 29 Jan 2017

Being engaged to Landry is werking in her favor. By miles, this was the best look of the night. Subtle and classy.

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Red Carpet

SAG Awards Red Carpet

I’d like to personally thank the SAGs for being on a Saturday night and thus giving me the perfect pre-going out drinking game. Good lookin out, Hollywood. Also personal thanks to Brad Goreski of E!’s red carpet for chatting it up with a celeb for a bit and then going “so I’m done speaking with you” to get her outta there. Smooth.

WORST:

The 22nd Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards - Red Carpet

Hey Susan, you’re 100. Put your SAGgy T’s away.

Uzo Aduba

CHRISTMAS TINSEL.

22nd Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards - Arrivals

THIS IS WHAT HAPPENED TO KIT FROM A LEAGUE OF THEIR OWN.

22nd Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards - Red Carpet

WUF. Keith, your boy band chunky highlights. Nicole, your sparkly clown dress. Pull it together, guys.

The 22nd Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards - Red Carpet

I wanna be on Team Brie but this dress sucks. The rips and cords holding it together is dumb.

22nd Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards - Arrivals

Oh, look, a piñata!

Ellie Kemper

“She looks fine.”-my friend Lindsey

The 22nd Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards - Red Carpet

I’m pretty sure Gabrielle wore this same number to Beverly Hills High’s Senior Prom.

22nd Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards - Arrivals

Serenity by Jan coming in hot with a hideous Leopard number, a sassy pose, and a mom hair flip.

Giuliana Rancic

Keep doing you, G. And by you, I mean making everyone on the red carpet uncomfy, obv.

Anna Faris

Not my fave turtleneck dress.

Julia Louis-Dreyfus

I was fine with this until my friend pointed out the tiered design, SO I GUESS WE’RE BEING PICKY.

22nd Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards - Red Carpet

I don’t love the low cut cleave shot without the cleave.

22nd Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards - Red Carpet

Worst dressed sisters!

Julianne Moore

JULIANNE!!! WHO TOLD YOU TO WEAR THIS?! You always look like a dime.

Mayim Bialik

MY EYES.

22nd Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards - Arrivals

Is this one of the new Barbies?

22nd Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards - Red Carpet

She landed on this list because that face. Sry n0t Sarry.

22nd Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards - Red Carpet

Naht flattering.

BEST:

22nd Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards - Red Carpet

TOP. DOG. the GOAT.

22nd Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards - Red Carpet

All hail the bun.

Rachel McAdams

Rumor is this might be a two piece. Either way, love it hard.

Kristen Wiig

She actually has a pony, and it looked gr8. Love the onesie action too.

Queen Latifah

Queenie looking like a skinny mini!!!

22nd Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards - Red Carpet

So glad to have Tina Fey back and looking like a red ballerina.

22nd Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards - Red Carpet

This chick is a precious flower until she opens her mouth and that accent takes over.

22nd Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards - Arrivals

What a fab party dress!

22nd Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards - Red Carpet

Sarah looks like a babe…even with glasses and a ‘stache.

22nd Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards - Red Carpet

Love the beads, love the color, love the style. WiN.

Amy Poehler

I actually like the dark hair on Amy and her knockers look top notch.

The 22nd Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards - Arrivals

Can never hate on purple. This top half is different and kewl.

22nd Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards - Red Carpet

Diggin on dat blue.

The 22nd Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards - Red Carpet

Eva is a forever smoke.

22nd Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards - Arrivals

Boom. Plaid suit.

22nd Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards - Red Carpet

WERK THOSE SLIPPERS, GRL. RESPECT.

22nd Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards - Arrivals

Even though she has mom hair her “Angelina Jo-Leg” is on fleek.

Laverne Cox

This is my damn color. (I’m starting to get wine buzzed. I will not apologize for my captions.)

Ariel Winter

This is the best Ariel has ever looked on a red carpet. Her boobs are a normal size and this black dress is perf.

22nd Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards - Arrivals

What a baller. Shot caller.

The 22nd Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards - Red Carpet

Beautiful red dress, snappy tux.

MY FAVORITE LOOK OF THE NIGHT:

Kiernan Shipka

Different color, unique pattern & supes flattering.

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JUice

Weekly JUice

Week of 12/7/15

1. Nominations for everyone but Omarion singing about buhholes.

It was nomination week apparently as the noms for Grammy’s, Golden Globes and SAGS were all announced. What’s to be noted about the Grammy’s? Omarion went on a Twitter rant about how this song:

A song with the lyric “But he’s gotta eat the booty like groceries” got snubbed by the most prestigious of musical awards. Who would’ve guessed. (PS I wish Omarion was still singing bump bump bump with the rest of b2k. That was fire flames beats.)

Screen Shot 2015-12-10 at 9.31.57 PMScreen Shot 2015-12-10 at 9.32.08 PM

Obviously Tay dominated the noms, see full list here!

Golden Globes & SAG‘s (Click for full lists) didn’t peak my interest as much probably because I’m uncultured and watch trash TV and hence don’t know a lot of the shows/movies nominated. Props to Amy Schumer for sneaking Trainwreck into the mix though.

2. A BFF superteam debut.

My heart was aflutter when I saw these pictures. I love Blake Lively. I love Taylor Swift. And now that they’ve found each other I couldn’t be more obsessed with their union. Everyone else in the ever growing T Swift squad can kick rocks compared to Blake. THEY TOOK A SELFIE WITH A ROO. Hey guys, I cradled a baby roo…can I come too?

 

PS As if Blake Lively could get ANY cooler, she posted this gem today:

3. Chanel #5 will never ever die.

chanel5

Dirty Dancing will be the next live musical act and they’ve cast their baby and I am horrified. After watching this season of Scream Queens and questioning EVERY DAMN WEEK why the worst actress and character in all the land, Chanel #5 narrowly escaped murder, the LAST thing I needed to hear is that she’s snagged a beloved lead role. This time around, I hope they put Baby in the corner and throw a blanket over her for the whole show cause YIKES.

4. The Sims are still a thing?

Carly Rae Jepsen released a song in Simlish. AKA the gibberish that the Sims speak. I’m downright shocked that this is still a game. It was kewl when I was like 11 and playing computer games where you could make the characters have sex was scandal for days. But kids now have like apps for porn and shit…I don’t really see the intrigue with building humans to say and do dirty stuff anymore. Also remember when One Tree Hill tried to make Sims relevant again by having Jamie create a virtual Dan and Uncle Keith “to be friends in cartoon Tree Hill.” Laughs on laughs.

5. Ryan Gosling 4ever.

RyRy hosted SNL last weekend and didn’t disappoint for his first time around. I very rarely watch the whole episode and I did this time and laughed at almost every skit. A lot of times because Ryan caught a case of the giggles, which was adorable but also because the skits were solid too. This was obviously the best for Ryan’s giggles but performance-wise I think we know who dominated here.

Bonus:

What an AGGRESSIVE post breakup move by Ben Affleck here. It’s one thing to have a tat here and there on your bulging muscles. It’s a whole other ball game to turn your entire back into a colorful Phoenix like you’re Harry from 1D.

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Red Carpet, Television

SAG Awards Red Carpet & Recap

Another Sunday and another large glass that has suspiciously filled itself with wine has come and passed. I honestly don’t even remember if I’ve ever watched the SAG Awards before but I can pretty much assure everyone that I never want to watch them again. I punished myself beforehand by watching 2 hours of the E! Red Carpet–mostly for the mani cam (amirite?!) and had to put up with a whole lot of Maria Menunous being awkward and telling people “I Love It,” when she wanted to prove she wasn’t listening to anything they said. Ross Matthews made a lot of jokes that the celebs didn’t laugh at and Kelly Osbourne kept trying to bring the conversation back to Keira Knightley’s dress on more than one occasion. Here are the best and worst looks of the night…

Worst Dressed:

21st Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards - Red Carpet

I don’t even know who this is but she will forever be known as the SAG Salsa Dancer.

21st Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards - Red Carpet

Amanda Peet, I don’t know what’s going on with the black accents and the diamond poof in the middle but I don’t like it.

Joanna Newsom, Andy Samberg

This polka-dotted spaghetti strap combo is from an MK&A movie. I’m split though because Andy Samberg is PULLING those frames OFF.

21st Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards - Arrivals

Not digging this dress that looks like a vest on Anna Chlumsky

TNT's 21st Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards - Red Carpet

I don’t care that you’re 17 now Ariel Winter, for pete’s sake put the boobs away for a hot second.

Gabrielle Carteris

GUYS IT’S ANDREA FROM 90210 aaand she looks rough.

Jennifer Aniston

No Jen, no. This is a curtain.

TNT's 21st Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards - Red Carpet

LOVE the color, HATE the chunky waist/bottom.

21st Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards - Arrivals

Oh Lo, why didn’t you clear your dress by LC? The cleave, the slicked hair, the flesh colored dress. Bai.

TNT's 21st Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards - Red Carpet

Mags must’ve been reading my blog and stepped up her frumpy aunt game, selecting a skin hugging white number for tonight. Well, joke’s on you Maggie cause I still don’t love it. I like where your head’s at though, keep working on it. I’ll check back on your progress at the Oscars.

21st Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards - Red Carpet

Bridesmaid dress for a Valentine’s Day wedding.

TNT's 21st Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards - Red Carpet

Meryl…dress like you own Hollywood because we all know you do. She looks like she’s 900 attending her own funeral in this outfit.

TNT's 21st Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards - Red Carpet

Off the shoulder+Fur trim on Naomi=tack city

Rosamund Pike

Do I want to take a nap in this because it looks really cushiony? Yes, yes I do. Do I think it looks good? Hard no.

Taryn Manning

This is a step up from her actual GLAD black garbage bag from the Globes but it’s still supes unflattering and a terrible color.

Viola Davis

I like everything about this dress except for the halter neck that reminds me of a bathing suit.

21st Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards - Red Carpet

I cannot with Keira this awards season. Everything she wears makes me wonder who allowed her to do so. The color is fab city, but this literally looks like someone wrapped her in scraps from Joann Fabrics and pinned it in the back. Girl has one chance left to redeem herself.

Best Dressed:

Lupita Nyong'o

Lupy was originally on my worst dressed list, then I went to write something about this dress and realized it had grown on me in like a matter of 20 minutes. She wears it well. Good work Lupdawgs.

TNT's 21st Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards - Red Carpet

Sofia doesn’t stray from the “I have the body of a bombshell and I’m going to throw it in everyone’s face”. Respect.

21st Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards - Red Carpet

People are already jumping on Amy’s shit for being pregnant, so like if you’re wondering why Hollywood women don’t eat I can pinpoint the reason why.

Claire Danes

Claire Danes wearing the army green and going for something different. I can dig it.

Emma Stone emma

YES Emma Stone making the Tuxedo jacket as a dress look cool, why you ask? Because it has a train and isn’t just her throwing on Andrew’s suit coat with a pair of heels and calling it a day.

21st Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards - Red Carpet

This is very princess mystical. (This is me trying to use different words.) Also fun fact: it’s a two piecer.

TNT's 21st Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards - Red Carpet

Felicity Jones in a soft pink looking elegant AF.

21st Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards - Arrivals

Men only make the best dressed if they wear something other than a typical black tuxedo. Props to Jesse.

TNT's 21st Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards - Red Carpet

Julia killin the sexy lace vibe.

TNT's 21st Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards - Red Carpet

I don’t think I love this but I also don’t think I can call it a worst dressed, so you snuck this pantsuit right onto my best dressed list Julezzz.

TNT's 21st Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards - Red Carpet

Great color and super flattering dress, hair is on point too.

21st Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards - Red Carpet

Simple yet whimsical for Julie Bowen.

Kaley Cuoco-Sweeting

Love the dress…still hate the hair.

21st Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards - Arrivals

I’m a sucker for a good animal print. What can I say.

21st Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards - Red Carpet

Maisie crushing it in the red floral dress. Might sneaky be my fave dress of the night.

Maria Menounos

It pains me to put Maria on the best dressed after listening to her TERRIBLE red carpet interview style, but I like this dress and I’m being the bigger person.

Matthew McConaughey, Camila Alves

YAS.

Michael Keaton

Michael Keaton is looking sleek, man! Are those velvet loafers?!

Rashida Jones

Rashida coming in hot with the baby blue floral number.

Reese Witherspoon

Reese is chic’ing all the awards shows so hard this season.

21st Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards - Arrivals

Another fave of the night for me, Sarah Hyland never seems to disappoint.

21st Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards - Arrivals

My gurl Sophia Bush will never end up on a worst dressed list of mine, she could wear a paper bag and make it look good.

21st Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards - Red Carpet

Uzo wearing this textured bright yellow was different and it really grew on me. She’s rockin it.

RECAP:

Normally I would do a separate recap of the actual awards show but in this case I can pretty much sum it up in a few sentences. There’s not even a host so instead the awards open with a man announcing people on the red carpet searching for new ways to say they look stunning with quick camera movements to the soundtrack of America’s Funniest Home Videos. Then a few actors talk directly to the camera and tell awkward back stories about their lives, introducing themselves as actors as if we didn’t already know who they are. Glad we sparked things off with the uncomfies, and the awards continue on being stiff and weird.

A fake applause cue mistakenly goes off while Reese is presenting an award and now we all know that no one could be bothered to clap for each other. William H. Macy won something and referred to wife Felicity Huffman as “Flicka”, like the horse. Jared Leto and Lupito Nyong’o present together and Jared spends his time onstage undressing Lupita with his eyes and forcing her to look to the audience for help more than once. Carrie Fisher presents her mother Debbie Reynolds with the lifetime award and gives a nice, long-winded, confusing ancestry.com background just to tell us Debbie is indeed her mom. Also she breathed real hard into the mic. Random observation: SO MANY GLASSES.

Naomi Watts tripped over her own dress at the end of the night and squealed into the mic. Skinny, ponytail-wearing Zach Galifianakis won the night with the only joke when he was pushed up to the mic by his Birdman cast and simply said, “When I was on As the World Turns…” mocking Julianne Moore seriously saying that same sentence moments earlier in her acceptance speech. In the final moment, the actress in Birdman that I don’t even know tried to speak into the mic after the music had already begun and the camera was panning out. The music was cut short, the camera moved back in on her and she gave a generic thank you that essentially reiterated exactly what everyone else said. That single moment can sum up this entire awards ceremony.

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