It’s the dog days of summer and my bloggable material is at an all-time low. Speaking of lows, I stumbled upon a circumstance where I watched half of the Teen Choice Awards. Yeah whatever, I judge myself harder than any of you could judge me but the bottom line is I know we’ve all been itching for a new red carpet of questionable ensembles to judge and here IT IS. Think of it as a little warm up for the VMA’s, which we all know will be a downright shit show.

Worst Dressed

Robbie Amell is the hottest piece of ass on the cusp of his acting career and he WORE THIS? Also his fiance with the ABC Family original show looks lackluster at best.

Brit Brit. At least cover your cooch when you’re out with your children. Kewl rainbow hair though girl, you’re so on trend.

I will NEVER support men wearing tunics. This is some Justin Bieber shit, you’re better than that Mahomie.

Did she wrap a tablecloth on over some leggings?

“Daddy why is your shirt always wide open?”-Wiz Jr.

I don’t know what creation those pants/leggings are but no thank you.

The dress is 90’s which is like whatever, but to add the free hanging strands in her face really pushed it. Blossom.

Don’t say her name three times.

Zendaya holding up her end of the bargain to always look like she pulled her outfit out of a 3 year old’s dress up trunk.

I can’t tell if this is beaded or velour but it’s just not doing it for me.

This is an actual pants suit. I’m assuming from Ann Taylor. It’s not a sexy pants suit. It’s a Hillary Rodham Clinton pants suit.

Granny dress for Emma Roberts.

Our ice dancer number of the night.

No snakes allowed on the blue carpet.

Best Dressed:

This is an alright dress but what really knocked my socks off was when Rachel Platten sang Fight Song and wore all black with gold glitter kicks. Sneaker crush.

Sucker for a crop peekaboo.

One of those outfits I looked at and was like BLECH then looked at it again and was like ok I can get down with this.

I think this jumpsuit is SASSSY, plus what is an old person supposed to wear to the Teen Choice Awards anyway?

Crop Coordinates, FTW. Also really digging on that yellow.

Membs when Josh Peck was a heffer on Nickelodeon?

Aca-Smooth.

Maddie Ziegler is 12 years old and she dressed like she was 12 years old. No seriously, I’m applauding this outfit for being age appropriate. DON’T EVER GROW UP, GIRL!

Bella Thorne is crushing this dress and also wins for smokeshow couple of the night.

Only Uncle J can roll up to an awards show in jeans and a tee and pull it off.

One of the hosts of the evening and she always looks gr8.

  

LEA, GET IT GURL!!!!

For anyone wondering what you missed from not devoting any of your free time to an awards show for middle schoolers, here it is:

You’re welcome for not including a gif. This is a real thing that happened for more than one minute of the show. So that’s that.