JUice

Weekly JUice

Week of 10/31/16

1. Prince Harry ALLEGEDLY dates an American.

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Remember that horrendous reality TV show a few years ago where they tricked a bunch of T-Rash American girls into thinking Prince Harry was dating them when they were actually just dating a ginger actor? When that came out I was like well this is the reason Prince Harry will never so much as sniff at an American. I can’t even believe WE ALL HAD A CHANCE THIS WHOLE TIME. Ok, whatevs, this girl is gorge and an actress and charitable AF–AND according to her Twitter bio she is “a traveler of this beautiful world.”Fine, we get it. You’re the bomb.com, girl. I guess Harry is over his blacking out in Vegas days and looking to settle down. That is, if every gossip mag reporting this relationship like it’s the royal wedding doesn’t scare him off. GUD LUCK, MEG!

2. Emma Watson is perfection.

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More pics from the live action Beauty and the Beast were released this week and of course Emma is crushing it as Belle. I’ve never seen anyone look better in a yellow dress than the time I wore it for Halloween in 2013. But I’m willing to pass the torch to her because she’s perfect for this role and also I would never in a billion years want to smooch this beast with horns. Yikes. Can we see the after photo? Also I’m gonna need a close-up of Gaston. Cause like, Gaston can’t be hot. Cartoon Gaston just looked like a dick and I can’t be getting all confused about who Belle is supposed to be attracted to if they give this movie the Hollywood treatment and Gaston is a dreamboat while Beast is over there snarling and picking gnats out of his fur.

3. Beyonce eats cheetos. STARS. THEY’RE JUST LIKE US. I love how it was a legitimate headline this week that Bruno Mars revealed Beyonce nommed all up on some cheetos before the Super Bowl halftime show. He even included that she had the cheezy dust on her fingers. Talk about blackmail. See if Beyonce ever snacks around Bruno again. But actually, if all I have to do is eat cheetos to get a body like B then I’m basically there. Except for the whole orange dust thing. I’m not saying I’m above it, but it might be frowned upon for me to sit at my desk and lick my fingers after snacktime.

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4. There’s still hope for me. Was cruising through twitter this week and saw that someone had tweeted this photo:

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And said this is what Ice Box looks like now. Since everyone knows I have an affinity for wearing a backwards hat like a big ole lez and pretending it’s adorable, this is HUGE news for me. The girl who starred in Little Giants and looked like THIS:

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…now looks like a smokeshow. Here’s what I looked like as a child vs. grown up. We’ve still got some time, guys. I’m not worried. IT’S JUST A PHASE.

5. Fuller House got worse. 

Ah yes, the season 2 that EVERYONE (read: no one) has been anticipating. Fuller House is going the way of Girl Meets World and after watching this disaaaaaster of a trailer, I gotta say I’m officially out. No more she-wolf pack jokes, no more Danny Tanner dressed as Vanilla Ice going through a mid-life crisis and DEFINITELY no more DJ wasting an opportunity with hot vet Matt. I feel like a giant weight of terrible MK&A jabs has been lifted off of my shoulders and I encourage everyone else to quit as well. Mostly because if anyone talks about this I’ll have FOMO and immediately binge watch. LET’S STAY STRONG TOGETHER.

PS this throwback of Uncle J looking like a total babe soda isn’t helping me stay strong.

BONUS: My dad is funnier than me. Den & I have an age old tradition (since I graduated college), where when I’m faced with financial decisions, I ask him to explain them to me in 90’s pop culture references. It’s a fool proof method, really. He knows all of the characters I’m obsessed with, and also smart stuff like MONEY. After college graduation he broke down investments via Dawson’s Creek and this week he delivered a killer Saved by the Bell comparison to teach me what an IRA account is. Read and appreciate that my dad is and will always be cooler than yours.

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It’s almost like he should have his own blog or something. (JK-steal my spotlight and I’ll cut a bitch.) One blog per fam. PS Happy 2nd Birthday to The Salty Ju last week. #ShamelessPlug

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Uncategorized

Weekly JUice

Week of 9/19/2016

I’m doing a JUice this week…for OBVIOUS reasons.

1. Dusty Rose Levine. Congrats on your baby girl Adam and Behati, also congrats on naming her an adjective to describe a situation where things are dirty. Oh there’s a cobweb in the corner and a lot of leftover dirt piled up. That’s just our daughter Dusty. In a world (Hollywood) full of asshole names, this HAS to take the cake. And it’s not even because my family and I have spent an entire year calling things we don’t like “dust”. Although that certainly plays a factor. It’s also because whenever I hear the “name” Dusty, I will forever and always immediately think of Chris Brander with a mouth full of blood and probably a few teeth, spitting out “Dusty Lee” in fear.

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But yeah, Dusty Rose will definitely never get made fun of for that name. Snaps for you.

2. RiP Brangelina. There’s no way I could’ve done a JUice without including this. When the news broke on Tuesday, I got scooped so hard that I was real bitter about it. My former co-worker who used to make fun of my sister and I for how much celebrity gossip we knew was the first to announce it to me and I was in utter distress. What made it worse was that I was at work and couldn’t keep tabs on all the best Rachel Green gifs flying around as a response. Work sucks, I know. (Little callback to the Blink days, you’re welcome for that.)

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Even though I was PEZZED about not being the first to break the news–and you better bet once I was scooped I took out my megaphone and broke it to everyone around me at work. Unfortunately no one cared but whatevs, I still got the satisfaction. ANYWAY, this news wasn’t in the least bit surprising. Even Jen, the angel (and smokeshow) that she is, was like yeah I saw this coming. It took A LOT longer than anticipated, but we all knew that cheating on your wife and then getting stuck with a bazillion kids is not the way to rebound and Pitt would be over it sooner or later. Rumors are flying around town that he cheated with Marion Cotillard (she’s preggers and it’s not Brad’s so supposedly everyone can buzz off about that theory.) Now he’s under investigation for like shouting at his kids on a plane or something. Look, if the FBI could investigate parents for discipline then we can open the book on my entire childhood when spanking was still a thing. I once hid in my own closet to avoid a spanking. Typs child move though, go to the one place where there’s no escape, to hide. That’s why kids are dumb AF. But regardless, this will play out for like probably the next six months so pop your popcorn and buckle in. And as if it wasn’t blatantly obvious already: HASHTAG TEAM JEN. Seriously she won this breakup like forever ago.

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3. Dad Jokes. 

You know what’s super embarrassing? Being 13 and having your dad do LITERALLY ANYTHING near you. I said EWWW so many times when my dad spoke in my teen years that he used to beat me to it after everything he did. You know what’s even MORE embarrassing? Having your dad, formerly known as MARKY MARK rap about spanking you on a live radio show. YIIIIIIIIKES, Ella. I bet you regret telling dear ole dad to spit a few bars once he threw that down and then to add insult to injury outed you for losing your phone privileges. That’s like, social suicide. Ella can’t go back to school ever again unless you want her sitting in the bathroom at lunch and that’s obvious. Dad better hand out free Wahlburgers to smooth everything over. Also, I’m going to guess that Ella won’t be able to get a boy to call that contraband cell phone of hers until she’s like 35 with Mahk “I could’ve stopped 9/11” Wahlberg as her father.

4. Merry Christmas from the Tanners. Fuller House just dropped on Netflix in like April of 2016 and everyone “loved” it so much that they’re already announcing season 2 to arrive in early December. TWO SEASONS OF FULLER HOUSE IN ONE YEAR? WHAT DID WE DO TO DESERVE THIS? We laughed at terribly written and really bitter Olsen twins jokes. That’s what we did. Shame on all of you. I watched Fuller House because I’m a sucker for comebacks and I wanted to believe it would be great. Spoiler alert: it wasn’t. It turns out you can’t replicate 90’s gold like a toddler calling a stranger a cheesehead. Shout out to Michelle.

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Fun fact: Full House also premiered 29 years ago this week and what’s impressive about that is last weekend I did a 90’s themed pub crawl wearing a Jesse and the Rippers tee and the majority of our competitors still referenced Forever. Because gr8 music and mullets never die. Let’s forget about the tacky DJ sequel and just live in a world where shirtless Uncle J can ask the sky just what we have…and it will show forever.

5. RYAN GOSLING.

These are the same thing every time but like honestly though, any time we get a coveted appearance from the Gos himself, it deserves it’s own slot on the JUice. Same goes for JT, duhs. Unfortunately he has exclusivity with JFall and probably will never be in one of these.

BONUS: Let’s laugh at people falling.

I’m posting this because like every other BB this summer, I had Closer on repeat. I even went so far as to name my summer pics FB album “We ain’t ever getting older” becuase it’s a personal goal of mine to never get older. Bottom line is that last week I learned that The Chainsmokers are a coupla frat boy doucheronis via their Billboard interview where they talked about how their music is better than God and all they do is drink and get laid. KEWL. The hot one even had the balls to say that MTV screwed him over by having him sing live at the VMA’s and choke real hard. That was your decision to sing amongst an entire show full of lip syncers. Sorry your voice isn’t good, dude. Anyway, if you want to give a lot of dirty looks to your computer, read their full article HERE! Otherwise, just enjoy the above tumble from THE GREATEST MUSICIANS OF ALL TIME. Closer still bangs though.

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JUice

Weekly JUice

Week of 2/29/16

1. The Museum of MK&A.

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Shout out to Lindsey for tipping me off to a kickstarter that funds a museum dedicated to the Olsen twins. Unfortuantely, upon further research I learned that this pitch BLOWS and I will be personally offended if anyone donates money to it. Instead of creating a 90’s utopia where everyone is required to wear bucket hats and pastel tinted shades, where you can watch unlimited “You’re Invited” movies, put anything your heart desires on a pizza and shop til you drop in the Magical Mystery Mall (did I just create Heaven or WHAT?!)…these two morons are raising money to display paintings of MK&A dodging the paps in NYC. No seriously, here are some examples…it’s BLASPHEMY.

2. Country Fire Flames.

It’s beginning to be that acceptable time of year where I don’t get downright depressed when listening to country music because it’s the dead of winter. Now that we’re getting closer around the bend to nice weather, I’m happy to bump this new jam from Jake Owen and pretend I live somewhere warm and full of southern gents.

3. Nothing is sacred. 

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High School Musical 4 is in the works because WE CAN’T JUST LEAVE WELL ENOUGH ALONE. Seriously? High School Musical worked because when it came out the Disney channel was still cool and their original movies still rocked real hard. Now, the disney channel’s leading show is a fakeout sequel of Boy Meets World that really is just about two weird and annoying 6th graders who wear heels every day to middle school. Stop ruining shit, Disney. You’ve done enough.

4. Blue Ivy Rulez, Everyone else Droolz.

Look, we can dump all over the halftime show all we want but don’t say Uncle Chris tossin Blue Ivy around didn’t just explode your ovaries, ladies. Seriously, be cuter. YOU CAN’T.

5. Fuller House Season 2 Confirmed.

I’m not going to sugarcoat it. I got Fuller House over with as fast as I possibly could. The writer who said it was the worst pilot this year wasn’t being ridiculous. It really was. What’s even funnier is that Stamos is now teasing an Olsen twins comeback for the second season. They pretty much took a dump all over the twins in several very pointed and unfunny lines of dialogue in Fuller House so what they should be hoping for is the twins’ decision not to sue them. I don’t think they’ll be returning for season 2….I encourage everyone to watch this show so I can have a compadre to make fun of it with but other than that…no. Just no.

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Bonus: Obviously it was a light week for the JUice…but on the good news side of things, The Salty Ju is currently working on expanding into the business world of the internet…and by that I mean I’m working on selling my suuuuper KEWL pop culture-y mugs for all ya’ll. So get revved up for the debut of that next week. I know, I know… how are you supposed to sleep all weekend knowing that’s coming atcha?

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JUice

Weekly JUice

Week of 11/2/15

1. Ohhhhhhh, ah, ahhhhhhhhh this is ALLL THATTT, this is ALLLL THAAATTT. The OG cast of ALL THAT! reunited recently at Comikaze and I didn’t recognize anyone but Laurie Beth Denberg and Kel soooo yiiikkkeessss. But they were really excited to be famous again for a hot second and they all sang the entire theme song, originally done by TLC of course. Some of them also made an appearance at Comicon in October to throw it back to their famous characters and tell stories from back in the day so it will only be a matter of time until someone ships an All That official reunion or revival. One person we know won’t be joining in is Amanda Bynes, for obvious reasons. Also it’s been 20 years since the premiere of All That so bye, I’m ancient. I sincerely hope that piece of JUice was vital information for your every day life.

2. Say Hello To Your Friends…Babysitters Club. 

I feel like there will never be a week where I don’t include 90’s reunions because it’s all the rage these days. Sarry not sarry bout it that the 90s were the shit. Your favorite kid-loving, business-minded girlies reunited in Austin, TX this week. Why? Oh, cause it’s also their 20th anniversary….woo00oooff. They all cuddled around each other and reminisced on the days when they spent a whole summer playing with snot-nosed kids. Who would ever choose that. But anyway, noticeably missing was Claudia–did they freeze her out because she almost didn’t pass that science test? (The brain, the brain, the center of the chain.) The girls are seen cozying up to Cokie Mason, so I guess they settled their differences with her. More importantly what does Logan look like now? Is he still a dreamboat. So many questions, most will never be answered. Oh, awkward, I guess one of my questions was just answered by the below tweet. HOW DO YOU LOSE A HUMAN?

3. Jason Derulo is on even when he’s hungover. 

Leave it to Jason to be clubbin it up until 6am and still be on fire with energy and charisma the next day. James Corden takes singers out for carpool karaoke every once in a while and it’s pretty much always hilarious but it’s not a secret that I have a monster crush on Jason Derulo and if you also do, then this 10 minute video is must-see-TV. When I’m in my car alone I like to refer to it as a concert and you better believe I’m hitting every high note. When someone else joins me in the car I immediately tone it down to whisper singing obviously because they haven’t paid the proper admission for my angel octaves. The fact that James Corden is driving with the actual singer of the music he’s listening to and he’s not holding back is awesome. No shame. Except for maybe those orthopedic sneaks he’s rocking during the dance scene.

4. Good news for your whiny emotional 13 year old self.

Good Charlotte is making a comeback. It’s possible that you might be thinking they have a more mature sound now that they’re both married adults, one with two children. Nope they sound exactly the same as the two whiny bitches who sang about murdering a girl’s boyfriend so they could be together. If you ever went through an emo punk rock phase in middle or high school you will rejoice in their new song. Here’s a peep at the chorus: “Like I’m dying tonight and the whole world is laughing, like everyone I love has gone away.” It’s such a shame that AIM doesn’t exist anymore because that would be a perfect away message for a rainy day…ending of course in LIFE’S A BITCH AND THEN YOU DIE. If you’re feeling like you might be a little too old and more emotionally well-adjusted with life to join Good Charlotte on their second musical journey, feel free to look back on the top angsty hits of your past years with my killer playlist here!

5. RHOBH New Season is Upon Us. 

And the most interesting part about this trailer is Gigi Hadid & Joe Jonas canoodling. No. Seriously. Not even Andrea Bocelli announced in YoYo’s fabulous accent could distract from the 1 second of teenage superstar interaction. Since everyone wanted to murder Brandi and her only ally on the show went back into rehab, we are down two characters which means of course that we will have two separate staged “hey thanks for coming over everyone, I want you to meet my friend blah blah blah, I think she will get along great in our group.” One would think after so many different cities and season of the Housewives franchise, Andy would have found a better way to assimilate new cast members into the group they’re being paid to hang out with on camera, but whateva. I will be recapping until I want to stab my eyes out. At least I still have my girl Yo to keep me sane.

BONUS: Becky & Jesse are forever the cool aunt & uncle.

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Red Carpet

Teen Choice Awards Red Carpet

It’s the dog days of summer and my bloggable material is at an all-time low. Speaking of lows, I stumbled upon a circumstance where I watched half of the Teen Choice Awards. Yeah whatever, I judge myself harder than any of you could judge me but the bottom line is I know we’ve all been itching for a new red carpet of questionable ensembles to judge and here IT IS. Think of it as a little warm up for the VMA’s, which we all know will be a downright shit show.

Worst Dressed

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Robbie Amell is the hottest piece of ass on the cusp of his acting career and he WORE THIS? Also his fiance with the ABC Family original show looks lackluster at best.

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Brit Brit. At least cover your cooch when you’re out with your children. Kewl rainbow hair though girl, you’re so on trend.

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I will NEVER support men wearing tunics. This is some Justin Bieber shit, you’re better than that Mahomie.

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Did she wrap a tablecloth on over some leggings?

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“Daddy why is your shirt always wide open?”-Wiz Jr.

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I don’t know what creation those pants/leggings are but no thank you.

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The dress is 90’s which is like whatever, but to add the free hanging strands in her face really pushed it. Blossom.

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Don’t say her name three times.

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Zendaya holding up her end of the bargain to always look like she pulled her outfit out of a 3 year old’s dress up trunk.

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I can’t tell if this is beaded or velour but it’s just not doing it for me.

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This is an actual pants suit. I’m assuming from Ann Taylor. It’s not a sexy pants suit. It’s a Hillary Rodham Clinton pants suit.

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Granny dress for Emma Roberts.

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Our ice dancer number of the night.

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No snakes allowed on the blue carpet.

Best Dressed:

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This is an alright dress but what really knocked my socks off was when Rachel Platten sang Fight Song and wore all black with gold glitter kicks. Sneaker crush.

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Sucker for a crop peekaboo.

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One of those outfits I looked at and was like BLECH then looked at it again and was like ok I can get down with this.

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I think this jumpsuit is SASSSY, plus what is an old person supposed to wear to the Teen Choice Awards anyway?

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Crop Coordinates, FTW. Also really digging on that yellow.

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Membs when Josh Peck was a heffer on Nickelodeon?

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Aca-Smooth.

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Maddie Ziegler is 12 years old and she dressed like she was 12 years old. No seriously, I’m applauding this outfit for being age appropriate. DON’T EVER GROW UP, GIRL!

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Bella Thorne is crushing this dress and also wins for smokeshow couple of the night.

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Only Uncle J can roll up to an awards show in jeans and a tee and pull it off.

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One of the hosts of the evening and she always looks gr8.

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LEA, GET IT GURL!!!!

For anyone wondering what you missed from not devoting any of your free time to an awards show for middle schoolers, here it is:

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You’re welcome for not including a gif. This is a real thing that happened for more than one minute of the show. So that’s that.

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Television

Fuller House: The Supporting Characters Comeback

The internet is abuzz with nostalgia this week ever since John Stamos confirmed the spinoff of Full House. Everyone wants to know who is in, who is out, and if Gibbler still has a debilitating foot odor. As of right now it’s confirmed that the plot will follow DJ, a single mother raising her children with a little help from Gibbler and Steph. (Sound famils?) Guest appearances by Danny, Uncle J, Becky & Joey are pretty much guaranteed, but instead of playing the will Michelle return as a gothy fashionista game, I decided to delve into our favorite supporting characters, guessing where they might be now and why they should DEFINITELY be included in Fuller House.

1. Steve

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As Deej’s first serious boyfriend who made a comeback as her (college?) prom date in the last episode, Steve was the perfect guy. He may have had a growing appetite, but realistically his only flaw was disappearing from our lives thus allowing DJ to date guys like Viper and Nelson. Woof. Is it naïve to say that Steve spent all these years pining after DJ? Probably but I’m gonna guess that’s where he is now. He did the college athlete thing, probably tried to go pro and realized he wasn’t gonna cut it so he’s been living the bachelor life while Deej was settling down and having kids. She was always a bit more serious than him. Now that she’s apparently widowed, this seems like the perfect time for Steve to step back into her life, help out with the grocery shopping, eat all the groceries, then prove to Deej why he’s the one.

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2. Kathy Santoni

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Remember that BITCH Kathy Santoni who got her rack at age 12 and started wearing makeup too soon, spread rumors about DJ and Gibbler then got knocked up and married by senior year of high school? The often talked about and rarely seen Kathy was a piece of the DJ-Gibbler friendship that brought them closer togets. Cause nothing brings friends closer than a mutual hate. Well karma’s a real bitch for Kathy because she’s divorced with three kids, hitting the wine every night and surfing tinder. She becomes a little too bitter when DJ and Gibbler move into her neighborhood and see just how miserable she’s become so she tries to turn the neighborhood against them and have Kimmy evicted for having loud sex with…

3. Duane

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Ah Duane, the man of one word…but give him a sonnet and suddenly he transforms into William Shakespeare. We all know that Duane was a real dud, but Gibbler is no walk in the park and I think they meshed together quite nicely. Opposites attract, right? Duane and Gibbler almost got married in Vegas until Gibbler realized she didn’t want to end up like Kathy Santoni, ZING. Duane didn’t end up going into the plumbing biz with his dad, became Kimmy’s main squeeze again and teaches poetry at the University of San Fran, Professor Hamlet and Cheese style. He still wears a backwards hat real well.

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4. Gia

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Gia started out as a real chain-smoking, class-cutting badass betch. Then Stephanie befriended her and taught her how to be nice while still maintaining an edgy aura. Gia was the BFF that every girl needs—she hosts the makeout parties at her mom’s apt, makes Steph lie about her age to meet cute guys at the mall and wears a crop top like nobody’s biz. The good news is that every girl needs a ride or die and Gia is still Steph’s. While Steph is helping DJ raise her kids, Gia is guitarist and singer in the band Girl Talk and she’s a famous AF rockstar. You might remember Girl Talk as the disaster band with her, Gibbler, and Steph in the past but Gia’s super mature now and she got disciplined, learned to play more than Ace of Base and rebooted the band. Gia’s basically the T. Swift of San Fran now and every once in a while brings Steph out on the scene so they can act young and reckless.

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5. Tommy Page

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Speaking of musicians, Tommy Page is still trying to hack it as dreamboat singer but he’s pushing it, age-wise. It’s no longer approps for him to show up at a 13 year old’s birthday party and serenade her with “You’re what dreams are made of, you’re the girl I love.” Seriously, that didn’t raise any red flags? Even though Tommy is old now, he can still get it so him and Gia hook up occasionally but it’s super casj. Tommy kicks it with the gang sometimes but will never let DJ forget about the time that he saw baby pictures of her naked and almost puked. Steph and Deej almost puke when they think about how they fought over T.Page.

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6. Walter

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Walter may have been ridiculed for his duck face in school but he obviously overcame the teasing to become an accountant. He does Stephanie’s taxes every year and uses this time to try and win her back to become Mrs. Duckface. She responds by throwing quackers at him. Just kidding. Sort of. He got really hot though. Just kidding again.

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7. Rusty

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RUSTY, THE RUST-MAN, RUSTYVISION, the CLASSIC prankster. Writing anonymous love letters, putting green dye in the shampoo bottle, tying the tablecloth to someone’s belt, loosening the salt shaker, the ole colored trick gum and kaleidoscope ink ring…WHAT a little asshole this kid was. You know what asshole kids grow up to be? Asshole adults. Rusty was the president of his frat in college and spent five years drawing dicks on pledge’s faces when they passed out after too many Natty Ice’s. Rusty is now the bartender at the Smash Club where the girls still go to cut loose and get away from their kids. Sometimes Steph and Rusty BOMO (blackout makeout.)

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8. Derek

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Should Michelle ever return to the show—and I really need her to… she’ll bring Derek back with her. Derek was part of Michelle’s inner crew when she got a little older and a lot less adorable cause she couldn’t get away with saying things like AW, NUTS or YOU GOT IT, DUDE. Anyway, Derek was known for ripping the role of Yankee Doodle from Michelle (kid was born to be a star) but they moved past it and it’s a good thing, too cause now Derek is Michelle’s gay BFF. He’s cool, he’s fashionable and he’s on Broadway. He’ll tell it like it is and I think that’s just what Michelle needs right now if they don’t do a quick makeover to the Olsen twins pre-comeback. Plus he’s got a killer six pack. Eye candy whaddupp.

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9. Stavros

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Jesse’s greek cousin who came to visit, tried to pork Becky and steal everyone’s money for a fake landslide ended up banished from America. BUT recently he convinced the Tanners that he had turned his life around in Greece and they should come visit. They all go visit for a family vacation every year and stay in Stavros’s greek villa because he’s a famous fashion designer now. He designs suspenders and is married to a Becky lookalike. Don’t eva change, Stavros.

10. Aaron

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Last but not least, Aaron the meanest bully ever. Most well known for his sexism and sneering everything he says, Aaron was kind of a turd. However, you know what they say, if the boy is picking on you it’s probably because he likes you. Well, Aaron has been in love with Michelle ever since she let Dave the bird free in pre-school and he narc’ed on her to the teacher. They’ve been dating on and off since college and every time he pinches her she pinches him right back. #Feminism. Realistically Aaron’s probably a terrible boyfriend but I just want to see how a kid who yells shit like: “This fridge is a joke! No Ding-Dongs, no Ho-Ho’s, no Nutty Buddy’s… it’s bone-dry!” turns out.

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I’m obviously missing some greats–who would you like to see in Fuller House? Also should John Stamos or any of the EP’s see this post, I can start working on the show ASAP, you just let me know when you want to fly me out.

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