Tim Riggins for the NFL

5 Reasons Why Riggins Would Be the Best Player in the League

It’s football season again and every year when social media turns into fantasy picks and game commentary, I have a sudden urge to restart Friday Night Lights because I would rather watch Riggins get hammered and tackle the shit out of some high school players than watch real life professional players in our country’s most beloved sport. But whatever, I think choosing FNL over football makes me more patriotic. If Riggs were in the NFL I would probably play closer attention and here’s why I think he would be GREAT as a professional footballer (dare I say, even better than Tom Brady?) It’s a good thing I don’t live in Boston anymore…

PS for the sake of selling the best version of Riggs, we’re gonna go ahead and gloss right over his criminal history.

1. Parties hard, plays hard. There is rarely a time when Riggins is not holding a beer, or fiercely hungover and yet he’s one of the finest athletes on the Dillon Panthers. Could his drinking habits at the age of 17 be seen as alcoholism? Possibly. But Riggs is more of a get home from a long hard day and crack a beer kind of guy rather than funneling before school every morning, so it’s more fun, less debilitating. There’s a lot of guys in the NFL who blow money on booze and drugs to celebrate their cool life, but a lot of them also end up in rehab or fired, Riggs has it under control. He suits up on game day and then hits Smittys or The Landing Strip with the boys to wind down. Even the rally girls know what’s good when they hand him a six pack as a pre-game ritual, instead of baked goods.

2. Loyal to his home state. Tim Riggins IS Texas. All he wants for his life is a piece of land and a good bar to rest his head. Professional athletes get traded or offered a bigger salary to change teams but Riggs would never leave Texas and let down his fans (cough, cough Lebron). Say it with me now…Texas Forever.

leavetexas

3. Charismatic. Look, Tim’s not the sharpest tool in the shed…I guess that’s what tends to happen when you have rally girls do your homework and you take Wednesdays off from school. What he lacks in book smarts (The Scarlett Letter), he makes up for in personality. Riggs is the life of the party and a true entertainer. He could use a little work on his stand up material–i.e. “How about Saracen sleeping with the Coach’s daugher?”–but you can’t tell me that he wouldn’t be riveting in post-game interviews or team press conferences. He wouldn’t show up just so he didn’t get fined…he would put on a show. Can you name anyone else who would tell the school that he’s pregnant and needs a couple of days to relax so he can flip a house with his buddies? Bonus points for creativity.

4. Not a Narc. As a captain of the Dillon Panthers, Riggins was a natural leader. He knew how to motivate his teammates on the field, but also how to get them laid—I’m lookin at you JD. Part of being a team player is not pointing the finger when someone sucks. I think Riggins learned a little bit about that when he oh so casually went to prison for Billy. What a rough time for Tim and his usually luscious locks…but just goes to show how he would rather be locked up than rat on someone, if there were to be say, I don’t know, a cheating scandal in the NFL.

5. Mentor. Under that rough around the edges, boozy playboy exterior is a real heart of gold. Riggins is good with kids and acted as a big brother to that little shit Bo who lived next door. He taught him how to defend himself and how to play football, making him a shoe-in for training camps and charity work in the NFL. Tim also helped out with demon child Gracie Bell when he lived with the Taylors and any interaction with that creature deserves a gold medal. After doing time, he was Uncle Riggs to baby Stevie and it just melted my icy cold heart.

*BONUS* Have you seen him? I get that the NFL is not a modeling agency but it doesn’t hurt, right Eric Decker? I never thought I could be attracted to a man with hair the same length as mine until I laid eyes on Tim Riggins. His flowing lettuce and perfect smile reel in the ladies and I think he would do just fine in sponsorships and product endorsements. Not to mention the bad boy appeal. No more Tom Brady for Uggs…it should be Tim Riggins for Stetson–shirt very optional.

So whatdya say, NFL? Let’s make some memories with Tim Riggins. No regrets.

Pop Culture

LC Runway Review

Obviously I know nothing about high fashion or NYFW, but you bet your bottom dollar that when my girl LC announced her first collection to debut during fashion week, I was ALL over it. Since I highly doubt anyone else live-streamed the show in support of the ‘Guna babe (or to preview what items to purchase) I decided to recap it so that we can rank each look from worst to best. For anyone who doesn’t know LC’s style, the show was chock full of pastels, florals and braids. Sometimes it was whimsical and adorbises, and other times it was too much but overall I give her two thumbs up and all of the money in my savings account. Let’s see what she made!

This is so granny and shapeless, I just can’t. It is literally an old woman’s nightgown.

The shiny floral print on this crop coord look was far too 90’s for me and then adding in the oversized pink shades threw it over the edge.

Almost exactly the same look but in a strapless gown. It’s prom gone bad.

I can’t really explain why, but this reminded me of Brigitte from Passport to Paris. Maybe it’s the matching pastel coat/purse.

Embroidered velvet shorts…three words that should never be put together.

Flower power jumpsuit is not for me.

Kind of a weird combo..teacher on top, disco on the bottom?

Ah, the shimmery milkmaid. A must have for all those fall farm raves.

Hate the coat, but the dress could be ok without dusty pink fuzzies all up on it.

All this girl is missing is a stack of books and a banana seat bike with a bell on it.

I would have ranked this higher on the list if it wasn’t velvet, which gives me the itchies just looking at it.

I’m just not quite sure what’s going on with this. I think this is a top and leggings?

Leaning toward the granny side of town–not bad just not doing anything special.

Taking rompers into fall with a fur vest. I can dig it.

Not in love with the shimmery fringe but the outfit pulls together via pants and shoes.

LC laughs in the face of rules about white after labor day with her onslaught of whoutfits coming up.

Kind of odd see through white dress.

Middle fingers to the end of summer.

I would love this if the dress cut off at the knee and didn’t have a sheer bottom.

The back kind of ruined this for me.

Cool for the summer. (PS LC…not all of us live in sunny Cali–it’s about to be winter for 6 months here FYIzzle)

I feel like this could be a bridesmaid dress.

Front is fab, tail action in the back freaks me out a touch.

Because everything that was once trendy comes back, apparently I should’ve kept my duster from middle school.

Supes prettzzzz but probably not a dress for tall people like me unless everyone wants a show every time I move.

This is cool AF but I would never wear it. I don’t think a trip to the grocery store would deem a lace crop and hard flares.

A fan of both the color and the ombre.

Hearts for the fem lace jumpsuit but again not very practical.

The best whoutfit of the night.

This is badass princess right here. I’m going to wear tulle like I’m attending a grand ball but then BAM pair it with a crop top and motorcycle jacket. In YOUR FACE, FROZEN.

This outfit was CRUSHING until she spun around and I caught a glimpse of that baby backpack. Really? We’ll have to disregard because the look is very fashionable biz casj. Which is a relief because buying biz flare dress pants makes me want to strangle myself. They are flattering on NO ONE. End rant.

Perfect party dress!

Thirty, flirty and thriving. JK this is not a look for a 30 year old but that caption was cuter than “I LOooooOOOVE THIS.

Does this look kind of like some fancy jammies? Yeah. Do I care? No. Top three look right hurr. Daytime slumber party.

This lace romper is perfection and I will need it on my body with a side braid, STAT.

Snagging the number 1 spot for her designs in this show is this beauteous gown. Queen LC and her fairytale rule the roost.

And as if it would ever be a competition of who looked the best…. the top spot of the night goes to the designer herself looking like an angel sent straight from Laguna Beach.

LC popped out for a shy hello and a giggle toward her hottie hubs who sat in the first chair and grinned for the entire show. It was adorbsies. And of course her HS BFF’s were there to show their support…

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All the gals! @jillyhendrix @mauramcmanusoehm @laurenconrad @hannahskvarla @cassandrabette

A post shared by Lo Bosworth (@lobosworth) on Sep 9, 2015 at 7:02pm PDT

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Congrats to @laurenconrad for an amazing show last night. Very impressive as per always.

A post shared by Dieter Schmitz (@dieterschmitz) on Sep 10, 2015 at 4:15am PDT

Moral of the story is she’s all grown up now! No more digging out candle wicks or shedding tears as a result of Kelly the ogre Cutrone yelling at her. I’m just so proud. ANYWHO, if you want to shop any of the looks, you can purchase here because LC wants the poors to look fabulous as well. (To be clear, I’m referring to myself as a poor and I’m 100% ok with that. The first step is acceptance.)

Pop Culture

Justin Timber-Tuesday

Hey remember when I did this one time? Well guess what, I’m jonesin for a JT fix again and therefore I’m bringing it back. I watched Friends with Benefits last week because I no longer have a job and daytime TV is my new BFF and watching Justin rap Kriss Kross only made me miss him more. Seriously I get that JT is a dad now and stuff but I need him back in my life. So here’s my plea to him…go on Fallon, SNL or record a new song pls. Everyone knows…New Music>New Baby.

Ear Candy

The best scorned lover song ever to hit my ears. I could watch his baby face almost cry in a car with Timbaland foreva eva. You can pretty much guarantee that Britney learned her lesson with this one–you break Justin’s heart and you can bet your bottom dollar that he’ll break into your mansion, moonwalk across your kitchen and then make a sex tape in your bed. BOOM. YOU JUST GOT TIMBERLAKED, BITCH. (We’re just gonna go ahead and gloss over the part where he waits until she gets home, sniffs her hair then hides in her closet and watches her shower.)

Lawlz

The Camp Winnipesaukee sketches that Jimmy started on the Late Show and brought with him to the Tonight Show are the perfect example of why I need these two to have a variety show and/or host the Emmy’s. They can take the stupidest skit and make it hilarious.

Eye Candy

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FLEXIN' on Fathers Day… #HappyFathersDay to ALL of the Dads out there from the newest member of the Daddy Fraternity!! –JT

A post shared by Justin Timberlake (@justintimberlake) on Jun 21, 2015 at 9:11am PDT

DILF CITY, POPULATION: JT.

Music, Pop Culture

OG Taylor Swift Music Videos

I’m a music video lover…everyone else thinks they’re nonexistent but I still pretend it’s the TRL days and get excited when a video for a song I like is released. As such, I sometimes like to surf through old ones when I don’t(ish) have work to do. Since Taylor Swift has become the world’s biggest celebrity and casually includes 100 models, actresses, and singers in her music videos like they’re motion pictures now, I thought it might be funsicles if we look back on “country” Tay and her best music videos, pre-superstardom. (and pre-Twitter VMA beef)

5. Picture to Burn

I actually just discovered this music video, apparently I had never seen it before but dayumn, revenge Tay is SO sassy. She was like 16/17 when she made this video and it’s fiery. First of all, it includes BFF Abigail, and starts out with some pre-song acting, which is always cringeworthy. They blab to each other and just as I’m expecting to see a lame music video unfold they cut to Tay rocking out with a Secret Service-esque band while wearing over the knee hooker boots and it’s GAME ON. She then proceeds to put on a full leather outfit to sit on her ex-BF’s couch while her band trashes his house.

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After we find out this whole badass revenge plot was a figment of her imagination and in reality her and Abigail have been sitting outside of some guys house with binoculars like a couple of pervs, Tay delivers the line “I’m over it.” This guy let some BIDDY drive his truck, he doesn’t even DESERVE Taylor’s catsuit sleuthing revenge. BOOYAH, GURL.

HIGHLIGHT: The sly Rihanna “Um-ber-ella-ella-ella” scene of her silhouette (with fedora) sashaying in the fire sparks.

4. Ours

This song is adorable and probably an all-time top 5 TSwizzle song for me depending on the day…what makes this video is the fact that she’s clearly trying to overplay the cliches of working in an office and make it look really old school and miserable EXCEPT THAT EVERY SINGLE THING THAT HAPPENS IN THIS MUSIC VIDEO HAPPENS AT MY OFFICE DAILY. One thing that is suuuper embarrassing and not relatable is her biz casj ensemble…running sneaks with a pencil skirt & matching blazer? It’s not the 80’s Tay. (Quick confession time: I definitely have that scarf.) Also, could you go fix your hair?

Anyway, while T is so over adult life and day dreaming about being with her boo, she has to battle flickering fluorescent lights…I had a fire drill at work the other day that not only required me to shuffle outside with my co-workers like cattle until I could return to my desk, but ALSO they let the fire alarm flash a fluorescent strobe light for approximately an hour after the drill. Taylor has to wait while a guy gets water. The stress of running into someone in the baby office kitchen and doing the awkward oh you go first to use the microwave and I’ll just stare is so. real. And last but certainly not least, Tay endures the elevator. Yes everyone in the elevator hates their life. What makes it more enjoyable is that I have to take the elevator to the second floor due to security and I get a nice glare every time I do it like I’m a fat, lazy piece of shit. But I’m sure your time acting like you had to do this every day for a music video is much more mizzz than actual cube monkey life, Taylor. END RANT.

What’s most important is that her boyfriend is Matt Saracen and I can get mad at her fake work life all I want but if I was going home to this cutie pie I’d be checking my watch at work constantly too. (FTR I do check my watch at work constantly and all I’m going home to is food and TV.) Seven would be a whole lot better though.

HIGHLIGHT: The adorbs hand ILU in their cute AF home video that she watched on company time. I’m SO reporting her to HR.

3. You Belong With Me

Here is an all-time classic for Taylor’s acting chops. You can tell how excited she was to have an in front of the mirror changing character montage and also big glasses (SO DORKY.) The only bone I have to pick with this video is that it plays right into every teenage girl’s fantasy that you and the boy next door will fall in love and can basically climb into each other’s windows to hang and stuff (wink). You know what else promotes that ideal? The Duff. Great movie, shitty farce that your neighbor growing up would EVER look like an Abercrombie and Fitch model. Anyway, I’m getting carried away here…

The neighbor is obviously a dreamboat dating the bitchy cheerleader with a horrible wig, tale as old as time. I think probably the biggest shocker is not that these two are both carrying around full sheets of paper that say “I Love You” at prom, but the fact that marching bands still wear those hats like Yankee Doodle. That’s not real life, is it?

But the cheerleader gets served and it’s supes adorbs that Taylor snaked her way out of the friend zone even though she tried this on in front of the mirror and had the audacity to leave her curtain open. WHAT IF HE SAW THAT, TAYLOR?! BE MORE CAREFUL.

HIGHLIGHT: He loved her dancing it up in her homemade PJs. D’awwwww. True love.

PS this is the video that sparked the ’09 VMA’s “I’mma let you finish” disaster.

2. Mine

Bow down to the Mine video because it gives us mommy Taylor for the first time and the result is a 19 year old who probably weighs 100 pounds soaking wet, with two sons almost as big as her.

Anyway, this is a deeper song for Tay and also her first leading man that made me want to puke in my mouth a little due to his Spencer Pratt facial hair. He asks Taylor if she’d like to start off with a drink and she’s all “I’m ready to order” as she quickly envisions herself married to this waiter with two kids. Who hasn’t been there before, amirite?

He’s really edgy because he wears black a lot and has tats, but like has a soft side too. Taylor thinks their first argument means he’s dumping her and basically packs up her stuff and peaces but he’s like hey I’ll never leave you alone! (Seems kind of like a threat..) And Taylor is like I knew you were going to be my husband ever since you remembered that I wanted an extra pickle with my cheeseburger.

HIGHLIGHT: The fierce delivery of “brace myself for the…

1. 22

22 takes the top spot because it is the epitome of the slumber party music video that every female has ever wanted, and probably most have tried to create on VHS but then quickly realized we weren’t a bunch of superstars with a production budget, we were all wearing hand-me-down pajamas in someone’s basement wishing we were 16. Taylor’s squad crushes ladies night though, as to be expected. They cram beaching, eating cake, dancing, trampoline playtime and partying all into one night, because it feels like the perfect night to do it, obviously.

From the heart shaped sunglasses to TSwizz rolling up to a party in sparkles and immediately hitting the table to show off her Darrin’s dance grooves, this video is one big game of dress up fun. It makes everyone want to call up their BFFs for a wild night of being 22 with no responsibilities forever. Since I was 22 when this song/music video came out obviously it was written about me and my life and then suddenly I was 23 and hearing this song made me remember dancing to it at a bar in college and want to cry. And here we are at 24, watching YouTube and getting jelly of a girl who wears cat ears (sold at Claire’s) to a house party. BUT WHATEVER GUYS, cause I’m just happy, free, confused and lonely at the same time. AND IT’S MISERABLE AND MAGICAL OH, YEAH.

HIGHLIGHT: Gangster T-Sweezy. Biiiiiitch you don’t know MY LIFE.

Surprise Curveball Bonus: Everything Has Changed

Bet you weren’t expecting me to throw the one music video that’s all kids into the mix, well GOTCHA. It’s no secret that I have a love affair with the entire Red album, so naturally the song is boss (also Ed Sheeran <3) but the video is actually really precious with Ed and Taylor Jr becoming BFF’s/couple of the year. While all the other kids are being assholes (that music class scene is the reason I’m never letting a child ruin my vagina) preschool Ed is serenading preschool Taylor and reading her excerpts from The Notebook.

I could’ve done without the drawing on their faces thing because it brings back babysitting nightmares of having to ban coloring because every writing utensil went in and around the mouth or nose. Ick. But overall this one tugged at my heartstrings and also gave me another glimpse at Mommy Taylor and that just makes me lawl, always.

HIGHLIGHT:

Pop Culture

An Ode to Sophia Bush

Great news everybody, it’s Sophia Bush’s birthday today, which gives me an excuse to be a giant creep like I was when I posted an entire blog dedicated to Blake Lively. My girl crushes deserve only the best on The Salty Ju. Here are a few of the many times Sophia had the perfect Instagram and made me want her life.

She selfies so hard. When I selfie, I have a double chin and make a stupid face. When she selfies, she does it with A-List stars and looks like a dime. You’ll notice she selfies it up a lot with Olivia Benson. #GirlCopPower

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Um. Sir. 3F is my seat… This is really getting awkward @sethmeyers. But let's be honest. Photobombing @jimmyfallon and flying with this guy? Is this real life!? #MyFavoriteFunnyMen #NBCftw

A post shared by Sophia Bush (@sophiabush) on Jan 20, 2014 at 8:59pm PST

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How does this thing work?? Annual #SethSophSelfie @nbctv

A post shared by Sophia Bush (@sophiabush) on May 11, 2015 at 8:10pm PDT

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The man. @icet #SVUPD lives! #NBCupfront #ChicagoPD #SVU

A post shared by Sophia Bush (@sophiabush) on May 12, 2014 at 8:10am PDT

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NBD. Just hanging with @billnye_scienceguy at the #WhiteHouse. And giving a #highfiiiiive to @barackobama. #DreamsComeTrue #scienenerds #healthcare #allinone

A post shared by Sophia Bush (@sophiabush) on May 1, 2014 at 3:44pm PDT

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#GratiTuesday I'm thankful for these two ladies and the example they set through their fierce dedication to the @BTWFoundation. And I'm thankful that I wrapped on set in time to make it to their @soulcycle fundraiser ride tonight!! All the men and women who showed up put their money where their mouth is, literally, to raise funds and show support for people who are struggling out there. To talk about mental health, equality, and more. We rode like mad, laughed a lot, cried a little, and even jumped off the bikes to have a mid-class a dance party. What an epic night. Doing good for the world is the most fun and rewarding thing you can do with your time, and tonight we proved it 🚲💥👯❤️ #BornThisWay #PawsUP #GagaHasTheBestSelfieGameInTheBis

A post shared by Sophia Bush (@sophiabush) on Apr 21, 2015 at 7:16pm PDT

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The girls are back in town #bensay #buddycops #shouldwemakeamovie #theheatpart2perhaps #wedcrushit

A post shared by Sophia Bush (@sophiabush) on Mar 19, 2015 at 9:07am PDT

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#fbf working with my idol @therealmariskahargitay who is now my friend (whaaaat?!) for the first time on @NBCSVU. She's the epitome of a badass. An example. And a courageous heart. #ilovemyjob #gratitude #pinchme #badbitches

A post shared by Sophia Bush (@sophiabush) on Jan 16, 2015 at 11:28am PST

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#FierceFemaleFriday Just working with two of the coolest ladies ON THE PLANET. My #wcw gals every day. Idols. Friends. #pinchme @therealmariskahargitay @therealdebramessing #therealdeal #debriskasoph #itsathing

A post shared by Sophia Bush (@sophiabush) on Aug 15, 2014 at 12:20pm PDT

Sophia not only crushes human selfies, but she has clearly mastered the #Delfie (Dog Selfie…it’s a thing. Look it up.)

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That monster head from the front. His skull may be twice the size of mine but he'll always be my baby, #Griffin #alwaysrescue

A post shared by Sophia Bush (@sophiabush) on Jun 20, 2014 at 9:51am PDT

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Mom's puppy weighs 80lbs now. But she's still a baby. And today she's a Christmas baby 💝

A post shared by Sophia Bush (@sophiabush) on Dec 25, 2013 at 1:19pm PST

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Grateful for my babies too. I spent the morning on the floor with them getting smooched and scratching their ears. Perfect way to start the day. Who rescued who again? #DogLife #Rescue #Gratitude

A post shared by Sophia Bush (@sophiabush) on Nov 28, 2013 at 2:30pm PST

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#unselfishselfie @dosomething This is patch. My one-eyed rescue pooch. #AlwaysRescueNeverBuy — what's the thing you've done to help critters/friends/loved ones/community? Post your #unselfishselfie and tag @dosomething! Together we can do all the things 💛

A post shared by Sophia Bush (@sophiabush) on Jul 25, 2013 at 9:09am PDT

Soph recognizes that One Tree Hill was the best show of all time (this might be an exaggeration) and doesn’t disappoint with the cast reunion photos and throwbacks to B.Davis

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#GratiTuesday – today I'm #grateful for long lasting friendships that, like fine wine, just get better with time 💗 #thanksgiving

A post shared by Sophia Bush (@sophiabush) on Nov 25, 2014 at 12:33pm PST

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Basically the best.

A post shared by Sophia Bush (@sophiabush) on Oct 18, 2014 at 6:11am PDT

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My two favorite Scotts. #PJRaven @ThisIsJamesLafferty #HomiesForLife #OTHfam

A post shared by Sophia Bush (@sophiabush) on Oct 18, 2014 at 8:37am PDT

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#regram @joylenz #tbt to one of the best hug + smooch combos ever. What a gal. She makes me happy ❤️ #othfam

A post shared by Sophia Bush (@sophiabush) on Jul 31, 2014 at 1:25pm PDT

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#tbt AND #hbd – in our nine years together, this was one of my favorite Braley scenes. And today is my sweet lady Joy's birthday! Joyous, I'm so lucky to call you a friend and a fellow warrior woman. Your spark and creativity and heart are magnificent. If you all want to CELEBRATE with Joy, click the link in her IG bio and tune in to the LIVESTREAM concert she is doing tonight for her new record #GetBackToGold !! 💛👯

A post shared by Sophia Bush (@sophiabush) on Apr 2, 2015 at 6:06pm PDT

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You know what March 4th is? Oh yeah. B Davis' day. #HappyBirthdayBrookeDavis ❤️ #youAREenough

A post shared by Sophia Bush (@sophiabush) on Mar 4, 2015 at 2:41pm PST

She worships at the Church of Bey

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Getting ready to #GrindAndShine today with a little #Beyo. When you know you have a big day ahead, one that'll take all of your focus and hard work, put on a record that pumps you up and shake it out for a few minutes. Get your head in the game. We goin' in #Breakfast #FashionFriday #Beyonce

A post shared by Sophia Bush (@sophiabush) on Feb 28, 2014 at 7:18am PST

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Happy Saturday everybody. I hope everyone slept in, snuggled up, and is staying warm. Shout out to my beys @shopprivateparty for making it a Yoncé day before I've even left my bed. This sweatshirt of yours is everything. #IWokeUpLikeThis #NoReally #LadiesWeFlawless

A post shared by Sophia Bush (@sophiabush) on Feb 1, 2014 at 9:10am PST

https://instagram.com/p/i5cErlDiEo/?taken-by=sophiabush

Even though she’s BFF’s with Connie Britton, she understands that her hair is full of secrets.

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#Conniepalooza #nuffsaid 💛

A post shared by Sophia Bush (@sophiabush) on Aug 4, 2014 at 7:42am PDT

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And of course, the dream of all dreams @conniebritton. #whitehouse #healthcare #allinone #sisterhood

A post shared by Sophia Bush (@sophiabush) on May 1, 2014 at 7:50pm PDT

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Yeah @conniebritton is a badass. In case you didn't already know. She's the truth/the beauty/the dream. #ladylove #SophisticatedSunday #SortOf #CantTakeUsAnywhere #DontF__kWithOurCity #LA

A post shared by Sophia Bush (@sophiabush) on Apr 28, 2014 at 6:25am PDT

She was sassy AF as a child.

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#tbt rocking Tim's and a bomber jacket. My fashion + fighter pilot obsession started real young y'all.

A post shared by Sophia Bush (@sophiabush) on Jan 24, 2013 at 10:07am PST

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This #fbf is in honor of International Women’s Day. This is me, when I was a lil' school girl. I want to show some love and solidarity to the 31 million girls around the world denied the right to go to school, and thus denied the right to fulfill their dreams. Join me and stand #UpForSchool by signing the upforschool.org petition. We can secure a future where every girl around the world is educated and empowered to reach their potential. #IWD2015 #EducationChangesEverything #shylittlesoph cc @pencilsofpromise 💛✏️👭👭👭✏️💛

A post shared by Sophia Bush (@sophiabush) on Mar 6, 2015 at 12:52pm PST

Sophia has the ability to make winter look glam instead of depressing and cold.

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#fbf to this past Monday, after the 5th worst blizzard in Chicago's history, all of my friends at home were texting me "how much snow did you get?!" Um. This much? #IMissLA #ButThisWasPrettyFun #ThankGodForSnowPlows #SnowAngels #AnybodyWannaSnowballFight

A post shared by Sophia Bush (@sophiabush) on Feb 6, 2015 at 5:57pm PST

She’s a forest animal whisperer.

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My friend @phillipcrosby rescued this little munchkin from death in the desert. His name is Geronimo. And now he lives in the city. #swoon

A post shared by Sophia Bush (@sophiabush) on Apr 23, 2013 at 1:55pm PDT

Can look chic climbing a literal mountain.

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What a dream come true. To journey with my loved ones. To see sights I have dreamed of. To climb to heights I'd never imagined. My heart is so full. My body is so tired. I am so so grateful for this life. (And thanks to my sweet @yaya_aflalo for making sure I had a @reformation alpaca sweater to keep me warm where the alpaca live! Nailed it!! I didn't freeze!) #OregonToPatagonia #itssowindyhere #craycrayhairdontcare

A post shared by Sophia Bush (@sophiabush) on Dec 19, 2014 at 5:38pm PST

Invented “Mean Muggin”. (In addition to the air hashtag, obv.)

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#tbt mean muggin before mean mugging was a thing. Polaroid Circe 2005 taken by the amazing @jeremykost. #throwback #wayback #itsathing

A post shared by Sophia Bush (@sophiabush) on Jan 9, 2014 at 1:29pm PST

Understands what it’s like to have a girl crush, so totes won’t think this entire slobbering over her life is super weird, right?

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#BecaEffinMitchell the movement #itsathing @annakendrick47 #girlcrush4eva 👊🏼👭👊🏼

A post shared by Sophia Bush (@sophiabush) on May 30, 2015 at 11:16am PDT

Other than looking perfect all the time, Sophia actually happens to be an activist and does good things for the world so NBD but HBD she’s a real Bo$$. Follow her on insta for motivational quotes, music recommendations, fashion inspiration, and flawless pics. Duh.

Pop Culture

Cringeworthy 90’s Boy Band Posters

Remember when you couldn’t wait to get the latest issue of J-14 or Teen Beat or Pop Star so that you could take the staples out and cover your walls with fashionably dressed teen pop hunk? If you’re wondering how ridiculous that seems today, look no further than this collection of weird boy band photoshoots that were once suuuuper attractive to teen girls and now it’s suuuuper embarrassing that I could ever scotch tape a picture of 5 guys dressed in overalls on my wall. I have graciously broken each example down by theme.

Trends come and go, but puppies are FURRRR-ever.

We sing and do choreographed dance moves, but WE LIKE SPORTS TOO.

Don’t judge us because we like the way silk feels…

“One is silver and the other’s gold.”

Mah dressed us.

Whoutfits make us seem laid back and super casj.

Peekaboo, we wear briefs!

Denim isn’t cool unless it’s coordinated with your bros.

We Woke Up Like This

The THAT’S SO 90’s group hang

Just in case you forget who we are…Check my bodysuit OR my visor.

The smart outerwear look

Only the finest of linens

We have better jewelry than you (apparently Dreamstreet’s only styling tip)

We do Xtreme stuff! SO HARDCORE.

The “Happy Holidays, Grrrlll”

WTF. No seriously. What could possibly be occurring here?

And finally…the CLASSIC shirtless hunks with less desired members artfully placed/covered so as not to distract from the real man meat of the group:

JT & Nick Lachey, front and center where they belong ❤

Pop Culture

Drake Lyrics for Every Textual Situation

Drake is such a smooth sweater-wearin rapper that we’ve moved past the fact that he’s Canadian and got his start in the biz on the most ridiculous preteen soap ever to exist and have embraced him wholeheartedly. As an ode to all his greatness, Drake has like 1 billion apps dedicated to him but I’m here as a PSA to everyone with a smart phone that if you don’t have the Drizzy app, you’re not living life right. Drizzy is an additional keyboard (free) that provides you with an overwhelming number of Drake lyrics right at your fingertips. You may be thinking, when will I ever need to notify someone of, “Brunch with some Qatar royals and my cup is all oil,” but the lyrical stylings of Mr. Aubrey Drake Graham are actually more useful than you may think. Kick back and allow yourself to learn that there is a time and a place for a carefully chosen Drake lyric and it is always.

Your friend wants to go shopping:

You found out your boyfriend watched the new Game of Thrones episode without you while you were at work:

Single ladies, got a stage-five clinger texting you? No prob.

Mom wants to know why you’ve been ignoring her calls:

Your BFF snaps you a pre-going out pic asking for outfit advice:

(To be clear, this only works with a BFF who knows you’re not trying to go all les on her.)

Dad asks you to pay the cellphone bill:

Co-worker wants to make sure you’re ready for a big presentation with the boss tomorrow morning:

Sent your first rent check and it doesn’t bounce…GROUP TEXT, it’s time to throw down:

A friend won’t stop raving about her sketchy boyfriend she met on Tinder that you know is bad news bears:

Roommate asks if she can borrow something:

After you get back from vacay:

And for my grand finale…Mom checkin in on you:

FTR, I can’t think of one single scenario where it wouldn’t be acceptable to send this lyric. Please don’t actually send this to your mom unless she’s as cool as mine. I don’t want you getting in trouble or worse, cut off financially.

Bonus: Unwanted Booty Call response…

Seriously…that’s an actual lyric you can choose from. Do you even need any more convincing? Download Drizzy and keep those texts spicy!

Pop Culture

Puppies & Babies to Cure the Monday Blues

You know what everyone in the world thinks are cute and cuddly? Puppies. You know what most* of the world thinks are cute until they cry? Babies. Put these two togets and you’ve got an overload of adorbsies. Get through your Monday with a case of the warm and fuzzies after looking at the best baby/puppy cuddling combo deals I’ve ever seen.

*FTR: I still fall into the not baby-loving category. I only accept pictures or videos of infants if they are accompanied by a pup.

This is how this baby was bathed for it’s first few weeks. Obv.

This baby should be loving these puppy kisses a WHOLE lot more. Get it together!

This pup was kind enough to share his bed as long as he got to be little spoon.

The best kind of chair for TV watchin.

Nothin to see here folks, just a little shnout to shnout nap.

Don’t even try messing with this clique.

Sometimes you just need an arm rest while catching your Saturday AM cartoons.

This dog has the most patience in the world.

THEY’RE THE SAME SIZE.

Girl’s just trying to let him know he should lay off the snausages unless he starts flossing.

CUTENESS OVERLOAD.

And the grand finale…

Pop Culture

An Ode To Blake Lively

Everyone who knows me knows that I’ve had a massive crush on Blake Lively ever since she was Bridget in Sisterhood. She just popped out a baby recently and in promoting her new movie Age of Adaline, was working the press circuit the past couple of weeks. To say she was killing it, fashion-wise is an understatement. I was surfing through her recent looks and had to mop up the drool from my keyboard. Since I’m somewhat of a fashion expert (because I judge red carpets) I decided to rank Blake’s press outfits from worst to best, woman crush Wednesday style.

This tweed jacket number is definitely the worst mostly because I hate tweed. All the respect that Blake matched her pumps to the coat though.

A little TOO 70’s for my liking but her boobs look gr8.

This is a lot to take in. Sassy pony on fleek though.

Kind of reminiscent of an Easter mass outfit.

The dress makes me think of Lemon-Sol. Those mint heels though ❤

Not my favorite embroidered set but her legs are giving T.Swift’s a run for her money.

If the top left boob didn’t have Beetlejuice stripes on it I would be all in on this outfit.

Lose the jacket, show off the goods. (I realize each of my comments is getting creepier and creepier, and I’m OK with it.)

Leave it to Blake to wear heels with a tracksuit.

Oh hey, a koi fish.

Kind of a mom dress but her mermaid waves steal the show.

Retro chic

Yeah this is exactly how I look when I throw on a pair of jeans for a casj Friday.

sparkleblake

Saucy skirt for Seth Meyers

Boob sparkle for JFall

I’m pretty sure she literally just wore this party dress from the limo to her dressing room. #LifeGoals

I can’t even begin to understand what this creation is but it’s cool AF.

Fun and flattering and obsessed with these earrings!

Her best elegant look of the tour.

WINNER WINNER, CHICKEN DINNER. Putting that salsa girl emoji to SHAME. Hot damn.

Movies, Pop Culture, Red Carpet

MTV Movie Awards Red Carpet

Totes wasn’t going to do a best/worst dressed for this awards show but then I saw too many looks worthy of blogging, so here we are. MTV award shows generally means that everyone thinks they can dress zany, which usually goes horribly.

Worst Dressed:

Bai Ling. No. no. no. Apparently she called this creature her boyfriend. Sounds about right.

Charli XCX keeping it weird as always with this rain jacket sitch. Not even her worst outfit.

Hey we get it Emily, you got famous for shaking your tits to Blurred Lines, we can Youtube it…we don’t need to always see them.

Speaking of having their rack on display, Farrah’s boobs that she purchased with a loan from the bank.

I can honestly say that I don’t like one single aspect of this outfit.

Jessie J usually looks like a smoke and for whatever reason her stylist dressed her as a middle aged DMV employee going to a steak dinner in Milwaukee.