Week of 12/12/16
1. Baby Blake.
Ryan Reynolds got a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame BUT MORE IMPORTANTLY they finally debuted their two kids and I’m not even a little bit ashamed to say that I looked at every single picture that was posted of them because they are adorbsies. James is quite literally a tiny Blake Lively with a casual afro and now that they’re out in the open I better be seeing pics of these little nuggs on the reg. Congrats you beautiful MF’ers, for living up to my high expectations for creating cute kids.
2. ENews Gets Me.
No but seriously, that caption summed up every feeling I had upon seeing this photo. Shouts to my sister for sending this to me for a quick drool sesh.
3. Pregnancy Boobs.
My first two thoughts when I saw this photo 1. Willow’s hands are tanner than me and I’m jelly. 2. How can I work this braid into my every day hairstyle. But like also congrats on the pregnancy rack, Pink. I wonder if baby will be born with a feather in it’s hair and a henna tattoo up it’s arm. Even the crystals were a little over the top. It gave me PTSD flashbacks to Spence circa season 4 of The Hills.
4. RIP Alan.
This should have been number 1 because it was a shocking celeb death but honestly I hate talking about dead people on The Salty Ju. It gives me the sads. I knew Alan personally, from how many Hallmark movies I have consumed through the years and he seemed like a real stand up gent. Plus, he had to put up with Robin his whole life and I imagine that’s no easy feat. Especially post-foam finger-gate. I never watched Growing Pains because I’m too young (humble, not so subtle brag) but I can ‘preciate a banger of a sitcom theme song. I can only hope this is played at his funeral because it is one of the greatest songs ever written.
5. Get yoself a man….
…who buys you a bigger ring, just cause. In case you haven’t noticed Chris Pratt has become a massive superstar over the past few years and rather than turning into a doucheroni, he instead bought wifey Anna Faris an upgrade for her engagement ring. And OBVIOUSLY I approve. Plus like, they’re just the cutest. In exchange, she got him a tractor.
BONUS: Merry Christmas from Carpool Karaoke
#Blessed that this was turned into a carpool karaoke medley because we can ALL agree that 2016 Mariah definitely does not sound like 1994 Mariah and maybe she needed a little help on this one. It’s not a car concert unless you really go for the high notes so I’m proud of everyone for laying it all on the line.