Welcome to the Met Gala, where all the tweens are invited and there’s always a weird theme that the Olsen Twins promptly ignore. This year’s theme was: Manus x Machina: Fashion in an Age of Technology…whatever the F that means. Let’s judge.

Woof:

Kewl stars, Dakota.

Did Solange just dye last year’s dress yellow and add some latex leggings? #LEMONADE

Not only is this a granny dress but her face is scarin me.

THAT BOWL CUT THOUGH. DAMN.

On what planet does anyone want to see Madonna’s nips or buhhole?

Katy Perry is quickly becoming the next Gaga with her dumb outfits and I will not go quietly into the night about this. I do miss my tamogatchi though.

How does one accentuate their curves? By adding a bunch of buckles, apparently.

Ever the rebels, the twins show up in cloaks as per usual. Endless ciggs have been treating MK’s face well. She looks suuupes youthful.

What fresh hell is this seaweed dress, Cindy Lou Who hair combo, Lupey?

Beyonce looks good because she always looks good but I hate this dress. The color, the latex, not for me. SARRY guess I’m just Becky with the good hair.

Kim doesn’t look tha worst, but Kanye VIBES West ruined it.

I feel bad consistently putting Kris on the worst dressed, because you can tell she tries so hard but like, let your daughters outshine you and retire the choker.

Speaking from someone with 100% natty boobs, I don’t know if it’s normal for fake tits to sit at someone’s throat but something isn’t right here, LaLa.

Just, wtf is this. Save this bad boy for a 4th of July beach cover-up.

If she had covered her bodice more I would’ve been down with this because the silver feathers are elegant. But I can live without seeing your crack whisper out of the tailfeather.

This year’s sponsored by Hefty, Trash Bag Edition.

Following up the garbage bag dress, here’s random recyclables sewn togets.

Do Less.

Hey Ciara, every man above 60 called and they want their toup back:

Love that the feathers weren’t enough, there also needed to be a majestic butterfly fluttering across this gown.

I looked right at this outfit and had to do a double take thinking it was 15 years ago and Jen Lindley was attending the ball.

What’s happening here?

Furrever 15.

This looks like a costume from Practical Magic.

I mean, typs for Gaga.

Never wear a white tux if you’re a white and that’s obvious.

I can’t even look at this dress because it feels like Katie is staring into my soul.

It’s possible Karlie landed on the worst dressed purely out of jealousy.

HEY Kerry’s preggers again. Also she’s attending a Halloween party.

Yaasss:

This pose made me laugh for several minutes and I’m not afraid to admit it. The look is actually great, especially for hairy, scary Lorde, but that side head is outrageous.

Brie’s closing out a hot red carpet season with this sparkler.

I’m digging the dark locks on Emma. Plus this dress honors the theme without being outrageous.

I

I think I drooled looking at this picture. Nbd.

I wish her hair wasn’t so erect but the dress is hot stuff.

This dress is flattering in every way.

I’ve got a thang for blue tuxes.

Cinderella, IRL. Going to a rave:

Looking dapper as always. WONDER IF HIM AND KHUD SMOOCHED.

This is some robot fairytale shit. GiGi looks like a smoke and Zayn is her literal knight in shining armor.

Alessandra’s dress is just the right amount of weird and also it looks comfy AF.

That smolder though. Panty flooder.

Didn’t even need to include the pic with Jeets because Hannah knocks my socks off all on her own.

Sometimes Chloe has a tendency to dress like she’s straight out of a Delia’s catalogue but I like this look on her.

Scary goth face, pretty dress.

I wish I could wear this dress. Like, anywhere. What a beautiful fairy.

Demi has looked fierce as hell in every appearance ever this year.

Mindy’s lookin fresh and possibly has a keyboard clutch?

This dress is from H&M, so that us commoners can also dress for a ball.

I’m torn on this. On the one hand, she looks like a sassy sailor, on the other hand she’s wearing white clam diggers at a ball. You decide.

This kind of looks like trash gathered from a beach but I like it and I bet it’s comfy to lay in.

Kendall maintains as best dressed Jenner/Kardash

Never did I think the day would come when I’d toss a compliment Kylie’s way but she really cleaned her shit up. She looks classy and essentially is wearing the same dress as Kim and looks a bajillion times better. Take notes, Kimmy.

Let your hurrr downnn!!!

Kate couldn’t even sit in this dress so that blows but she looks like a dime.

Adorbs

From the neck down, I’m all over this shit. From the neck up, I’d like to gauge my eyes out. Tay is edgy now and we need to accept it I guess, but the bleach bob NEEDS TO GO. Those shoes slay though.

What bump? Olivia looks skinny as possible in this dress.

TBH, I don’t really know what’s going on here but I know that her head/bustier looks fab so I just glossed over the maybe cape, maybe pants sitch down below.

I mean, end with a bang of course. She doesn’t look preggers,

she just looks F-L-A-W-L-E-S-S