Pop Culture, Red Carpet

Met Gala Red Carpet 2018

Spring is in the air and Hollywood’s finest / youngest are gracing the Met red carpet in outrageous getups that narrowly relate to a central theme. What a time to be alive. Since last year’s “theme” was just a bunch of words in another language, it was a breath of fresh air that this year they just went with Catholicism. Probably the best theme I’ve seen thus far in the 4 years that I’ve been blogging this asshole fashion event. Peep below for headdresses and lace galore. And literal Jesus. No seriously, he resurrected to attend a Hollywood art/fashion event. And his name is also Jared Leto. Also, spoiler alert but nobody will ever top this look and that seems pretty obvious.

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NOW THAT’S HOW YOU DO CATHOLICISM. BOOM. CHURCHED.

WORST

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SRY for the small pics I had to rip these off of twitter. Much like Solange ripped this Hefty bag out of her trash can, blew air into it and tied it around her legs to look like 2 giant vulvas.

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MAHM LIFE.

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None of this screams Catholic to me.

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Kim looks good obviously, but you can’t tout yourself as a huge celeb then show up to a themed event wearing a gold gown with a cross sticker slapped on the front. Talk about mailing it in.

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Selz is really into the babydoll gown and it’s just not the most flattering. Especially when you pair it with what my hair looks like in high humidity and a brown spray tan. Yikes.

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Ya’ll know my thoughts on Zendaya. She consistently looks like a garbage can on the red carpet and I do not support it.

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Hate to do it to good ole Geeg but this doesn’t have a wow factor AND it’s not on theme.

The Metropolitan Museum of Art's Costume Institute Benefit celebrating the opening of Heavenly Bodies: Fashion and the Catholic Imagination, Arrivals, New York, USA - 07 May 2018

Oh let’s just sew three completely different fabrics in different colors togets. Ok.

Heavenly Bodies: Fashion & The Catholic Imagination Costume Institute Gala - Arrivals

Sick block shoulders.

Heavenly Bodies: Fashion & The Catholic Imagination Costume Institute Gala - Arrivals

IDK what the fahk is going on here but Frances has HAD her time to shine this awards szn. Cut the crap here.

The Metropolitan Museum of Art's Costume Institute Benefit celebrating the opening of Heavenly Bodies: Fashion and the Catholic Imagination, Arrivals, New York, USA - 07 May 2018

There’s so many things that I can’t get on board with here. Clear stripper heels being the most prominent.

The Metropolitan Museum of Art's Costume Institute Benefit celebrating the opening of Heavenly Bodies: Fashion and the Catholic Imagination, Arrivals, New York, USA - 07 May 2018

I’m starting a new trend of just respecting the hell out of the assholes who overcommit to the theme because it makes it more fun but I just cannot give Katy Perry any sort of credit. Everything she does is annoying and I refuse to give her props for this outfit. If ANYONE else wore it I’d be like that’s awesome. But it’s her. And therefore, NOTHIN.

The Metropolitan Museum of Art's Costume Institute Benefit celebrating the opening of Heavenly Bodies: Fashion and the Catholic Imagination, Arrivals, New York, USA - 07 May 2018

I’m so perplexed by this? Are those cutouts over her boobs? And if so, why don’t we see nips? Also along the lines of Kimmy K, tossing a rosary on with your dress doesn’t make it Catholic.

Heavenly Bodies: Fashion & The Catholic Imagination Costume Institute Gala - Arrivals

Besides that skirt looking like a soft place to land for a nap, there’s nothing special about this outfit.

The Metropolitan Museum of Art's Costume Institute Benefit celebrating the opening of Heavenly Bodies: Fashion and the Catholic Imagination, Arrivals, New York, USA - 07 May 2018

This photograph literally will give me nightmares for the rest of time. Which might be a nice change up from my nightly reoccurring dream that I find out I’m pregnant AND i’m in labor in the same day. Not a dream I would wish on anyone.

Heavenly Bodies: Fashion & The Catholic Imagination Costume Institute Gala - Arrivals

WAITER.

Heavenly Bodies: Fashion & The Catholic Imagination Costume Institute Gala - Arrivals

First of all, she just had a baby. There BETTER be spanx on under that dress or I’ll be pissed. Second of all, no FOREVER to 90’s small shades.

The Metropolitan Museum of Art's Costume Institute Benefit celebrating the opening of Heavenly Bodies: Fashion and the Catholic Imagination, Arrivals, New York, USA - 07 May 2018

If this was a Michael Jackson tribute that would be fine.

Heavenly Bodies: Fashion & The Catholic Imagination Costume Institute Gala - Arrivals

There must’ve been a bargain price on this circular headdress because 90% of the females there were wearing it. This look by “SZA” (is that a name?) didn’t impress. Mostly because the giant circles of tulle just chillin at her waist.

Heavenly Bodies: Fashion & The Catholic Imagination Costume Institute Gala - Arrivals

If you’re old I would advise AGAINST the high pony.

Heavenly Bodies: Fashion & The Catholic Imagination Costume Institute Gala - Arrivals

This was a big deal with the youths because apparently these two are on that show Riverdale and made their debut as a couple for this event but like the bigger deal is those hard flare crop gauchos on this guy.

The Metropolitan Museum of Art's Costume Institute Benefit celebrating the opening of Heavenly Bodies: Fashion and the Catholic Imagination, Arrivals, New York, USA - 07 May 2018

Wasn’t she in that movie Letters to Juliet? Is this a costume from said movie?

The Metropolitan Museum of Art's Costume Institute Benefit celebrating the opening of Heavenly Bodies: Fashion and the Catholic Imagination, Arrivals, New York, USA - 07 May 2018

Amal’s so above Hollywood that she took “Catholicism” as Hawaiian floral pantsuit.

The Metropolitan Museum of Art's Costume Institute Benefit celebrating the opening of Heavenly Bodies: Fashion and the Catholic Imagination, Arrivals, New York, USA - 07 May 2018

I was watching Kate walk the red carpet and get photographed and she kept rapidly blinking and creepily moving her head like a doll. It was beyond creepy. That’s all I see when I look at this outfit.

The Metropolitan Museum of Art's Costume Institute Benefit celebrating the opening of Heavenly Bodies: Fashion and the Catholic Imagination, Arrivals, New York, USA - 07 May 2018

WHAT does neon blush have to do with anything. Also, sweet cherub chillin between your legs.

The Metropolitan Museum of Art's Costume Institute Benefit celebrating the opening of Heavenly Bodies: Fashion and the Catholic Imagination, Arrivals, New York, USA - 07 May 2018

No comment. I put this one up just because I laughed at it so hard.

Heavenly Bodies: Fashion & The Catholic Imagination Costume Institute Gala - Arrivals

Cover your ass in the house of the Lord, Zoe.

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The mighty have fallen. They win my best dressed last year and this year can’t even hang. What’s with the slicked hair, Tommy? Or the knockoff Belle dress, Gisele?

The Metropolitan Museum of Art's Costume Institute Benefit celebrating the opening of Heavenly Bodies: Fashion and the Catholic Imagination, Arrivals, New York, USA - 07 May 2018

This is straight out of the Hunger Games. I kinda want those boots though.

BEST

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I mean…could there be a more spectacular sight? No. No there cannot.

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I’d like to first point out how great it is that SJP brings Andy Cohen consistently to red carpets instead of her husband. Especially because you KNOW Matthew Broderick wouldn’t put up with this shit. Girl is wearing a tabernacle on her head. And check out Andy’s sparkle loafs WOOOO buddy. Head to toe assholeness and I love it.

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I usually shit real hard on Madonna’s Met Gala looks but spin zone, she made the best dressed because she is literally covering her entire face and body and for that I approve wholeheartedly. It was also brought to my attention that she looks like the below character from a horror movie and that makes me laugh a lot. Entertainment value: high.

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I’ve never seen a white pantsuit get werked harder. See? I can appreciate a Kardash every once in a while.

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There has never been a more Jesus lookin celebrity on this earth and I’m so happy Jared was willing to play into it. Lana, stop trying to steal his spotlight with daggers hanging out of your chesticles.

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This is my favorite event every year because it’s the only one that drags these two trolls out of the closet, typically wearing dark cloaks. I live for the once a year glimpse and I’m actually surprised they’re not both holding cigs here.

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Didn’t see an overwhelming amount of men’s fashion shots so I gotta give the guys a little love here. Baller move to go white and gold with a cape.

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I said the last cape was a baller move but this is a REAL baller move to flash that rainbow flag right in the church’s grillpiece.

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DAYUMN.

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Yeah you dress up that pre-marital baby bump, grrrrll. GOD SEES THAT.

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Almost as creepy as Kate Bosworth but I dig this look a little more. Can’t explain why. Probably because I judge outfits immediately based on no fashion expertise whatsoever.

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Honestly this ombre wrap of tulle looks real comfy to lay down and take a nap in. Dual purpose, probably.

Heavenly Bodies: Fashion & The Catholic Imagination Costume Institute Gala - Arrivals

Not over the top but I’m digging the red and gold halo combo.

Heavenly Bodies: Fashion & The Catholic Imagination Costume Institute Gala - Arrivals

Gabs just wore a yellow gown. Hate that she pulled that move when there were a billion things to do with this theme, but can’t knock the fact that she looks like a total babe soda.

The Metropolitan Museum of Art's Costume Institute Benefit celebrating the opening of Heavenly Bodies: Fashion and the Catholic Imagination, Arrivals, New York, USA - 07 May 2018

I just really love Michelle Williams and I think she looks good. That’s all.

The Metropolitan Museum of Art's Costume Institute Benefit celebrating the opening of Heavenly Bodies: Fashion and the Catholic Imagination, Arrivals, New York, USA - 07 May 2018

As previously mentioned, I’m all in on the red and gold. I’m all OUT on Tats McGee in the background struttin her stuff.

The Metropolitan Museum of Art's Costume Institute Benefit celebrating the opening of Heavenly Bodies: Fashion and the Catholic Imagination, Arrivals, New York, USA - 07 May 2018

HOW COOL IS THIS?! Sistine chapel ceiling ON YOUR GOWN. I’m obsessed.

Heavenly Bodies: Fashion & The Catholic Imagination Costume Institute Gala - Arrivals

I can always get down with a hood up. One time when I was younger I wore my hood up around the house so much that my parents made a rule no hoods in the house (I was going through an emo phase.) Either way, I wish it happened now so that I could show them hoods are ACTUALLY high fashion.

The Metropolitan Museum of Art's Costume Institute Benefit celebrating the opening of Heavenly Bodies: Fashion and the Catholic Imagination, Arrivals, New York, USA - 07 May 2018

This is how you tastefully tell everyone you’re an angel, KATY PERRY. Wear an actual halo.

The Metropolitan Museum of Art's Costume Institute Benefit celebrating the opening of Heavenly Bodies: Fashion and the Catholic Imagination, Arrivals, New York, USA - 07 May 2018

Again, another superior example to Katy Perry’s disaster. Here’s some cool ass wings that don’t stand erect like you’re holding your own VS Fashion Show. Well done, Evan.

Heavenly Bodies: Fashion & The Catholic Imagination Costume Institute Gala - Arrivals

Sup.

Heavenly Bodies: Fashion & The Catholic Imagination Costume Institute Gala - Arrivals

I think this is my favorite look of the night. She looks hot as hell.

Heavenly Bodies: Fashion & The Catholic Imagination Costume Institute Gala - Arrivals

No clue what this has to do with the theme but I would one day like to be rich enough to have over the knee boots made to match my dress exactly.

Heavenly Bodies: Fashion & The Catholic Imagination Costume Institute Gala - Arrivals

I like the dark lip and gold chainzzzz. Kind of Egyptian but whatever.

Heavenly Bodies: Fashion & The Catholic Imagination Costume Institute Gala - Arrivals

OK YES. Can I borrow this for the impending Royal nuptials? I don’t see anything wrong with wearing this in my living room at 7AM as I watch the wedding on TV.

The Metropolitan Museum of Art's Costume Institute Benefit celebrating the opening of Heavenly Bodies: Fashion and the Catholic Imagination, Arrivals, New York, USA - 07 May 2018

It says a lot about a person’s beauty if they can pull off blood tears and still look fab.

Heavenly Bodies: Fashion & The Catholic Imagination Costume Institute Gala - Arrivals

Another ignoring the theme but who cares because I’m rocking it sitch.

Heavenly Bodies: Fashion & The Catholic Imagination Costume Institute Gala - Arrivals

Last year Bella wore a see through jumpsuit. I like that she showed she has versatility and covered up for the man upstairs this year.

The Metropolitan Museum of Art's Costume Institute Benefit celebrating the opening of Heavenly Bodies: Fashion and the Catholic Imagination, Arrivals, New York, USA - 07 May 2018

OBVIOUSLY the look of the night was RiRi coming as the actual Pope. Kills me every time I look at it. Especially with that mean mug. Like yeah I’m wearing the pope’s hat, my tits and my bits hanging out, with a pearl anklet. YOU WANNA FIGHT?

Standard
Red Carpet

Met Gala Red Carpet 2017

Last year was technology, the year before was China and this year’s theme is……….

Rei Kawakubo/Comme des Garçons.

Huh? I don’t even know why the Met Gala has themes at this point because the Katy Perry’s, Madonna’s and Olsen Twin’s of the world are going to wear whatever weird shit they want and everyone else is going to slap on a gown. So rather than looking that phrase up, which I’m pretty sure is just an artist? I give you…this year’s fashion Halloween, from disasters of fabric explosions to regular red carpet looks.

WORST.

The Costume Institute Benefit celebrating the opening of Rei Kawakubo/Comme des Garcons: Art of the In-Between, Arrivals, The Metropolitan Museum of Art, New York, USA - 01 May 2017

Dunno who Pharell’s lady friend is but she’s wearing a literal cartoon drawn outfit. If she laid down in an empty room someone would mistake her for a couch. Also it appears as though she broke both of her feet and is walking in the boot you get from the hospital.

"Rei Kawakubo/Comme des Garcons: Art Of The In-Between" Costume Institute Gala - Arrivals

Not even a little bit flattering.

The Costume Institute Benefit celebrating the opening of Rei Kawakubo/Comme des Garcons: Art of the In-Between, Arrivals, The Metropolitan Museum of Art, New York, USA - 01 May 2017

Quickest way to terrify me is by making your eyebrows disappear, CLAIRE.

"Rei Kawakubo/Comme des Garcons: Art Of The In-Between" Costume Institute Gala - Arrivals

Ho hum, I’m just going to go to a fancy event HOLDING MY OWN HAIR.

"Rei Kawakubo/Comme des Garcons: Art Of The In-Between" Costume Institute Gala - Arrivals

A tuxedo jacket made for a baby.

"Rei Kawakubo/Comme des Garcons: Art Of The In-Between" Costume Institute Gala - Arrivals

Oh, Katy. Go away pls.

"Rei Kawakubo/Comme des Garcons: Art Of The In-Between" Costume Institute Gala - Arrivals

Maggie almost looks like she’s in pain. It pains her to be on a red carpet just as it pains us all to look at her slouching over with fabrics thrown on her body.

"Rei Kawakubo/Comme des Garcons: Art Of The In-Between" Costume Institute Gala - Arrivals

Is Solange mocking me? Spring in NY literally IS me wearing my floor length winter puffy jacket until roughly June.

"Rei Kawakubo/Comme des Garcons: Art Of The In-Between" Costume Institute Gala - Arrivals

Has Keri passed right before our very eyes? Legit question though. Did someone check to see if she was breathing?

"Rei Kawakubo/Comme des Garcons: Art Of The In-Between" Costume Institute Gala - Arrivals

No matter what anyone says about this, Lena will cry on the internet for 100 years. PS it’s ugly.

The Costume Institute Benefit celebrating the opening of Rei Kawakubo/Comme des Garcons: Art of the In-Between, Arrivals, The Metropolitan Museum of Art, New York, USA - 01 May 2017

Black swan makeup tutorial meets actual dead animal on your head.

The Costume Institute Benefit celebrating the opening of Rei Kawakubo/Comme des Garcons: Art of the In-Between, Arrivals, The Metropolitan Museum of Art, New York, USA - 01 May 2017

NO, MANDY!!! You were crushing it this year!!!!

"Rei Kawakubo/Comme des Garcons: Art Of The In-Between" Costume Institute Gala

The annual glimpse of the Olsen Twins as they crawl out of their caves to stare into our souls. Props to them for not wearing black cloaks this year!

"Rei Kawakubo/Comme des Garcons: Art Of The In-Between" Costume Institute Gala - Arrivals

Lingerie doesn’t count, Nicki.

"Rei Kawakubo/Comme des Garcons: Art Of The In-Between" Costume Institute Gala

Is that paper glued to her head in place of hair?

"Rei Kawakubo/Comme des Garcons: Art Of The In-Between" Costume Institute Gala

Karlie looking fresh AF to lead a board meeting.

The Costume Institute Benefit celebrating the opening of Rei Kawakubo/Comme des Garcons: Art of the In-Between, Arrivals, The Metropolitan Museum of Art, New York, USA - 01 May 2017

This looks like one of those eye tricks that you see at the circus or a magic show. WHAT HAPPENED TO HER BODY?! Oh never mind it’s just covered by weird disproportionate fabrics.

"Rei Kawakubo/Comme des Garcons: Art Of The In-Between" Costume Institute Gala - Arrivals

80’s prom.

"Rei Kawakubo/Comme des Garcons: Art Of The In-Between" Costume Institute Gala - Arrivals

Better than literally showing everyone her bhole last year but also not really.

"Rei Kawakubo/Comme des Garcons: Art Of The In-Between" Costume Institute Gala

Never thought I’d see Celine with a Courtney Love black smokey eye. She must be going through a rebellious phase.

"Rei Kawakubo/Comme des Garcons: Art Of The In-Between" Costume Institute Gala - Arrivals

Sewing machine splosion.

"Rei Kawakubo/Comme des Garcons: Art Of The In-Between" Costume Institute Gala

No thank you.

"Rei Kawakubo/Comme des Garcons: Art Of The In-Between" Costume Institute Gala - Arrivals

I mean it’s festive for cinco de mayo…

"Rei Kawakubo/Comme des Garcons: Art Of The In-Between" Costume Institute Gala

John looks like a babe soda. Feathers are a little too much, Chriss-dawgz.

"Rei Kawakubo/Comme des Garcons: Art Of The In-Between" Costume Institute Gala - Arrivals

The center tie really gives this a gym outfit feel. #MetLeisureWear

"Rei Kawakubo/Comme des Garcons: Art Of The In-Between" Costume Institute Gala - Arrivals

Sure, Kendall. Show us your RB curtz.

"Rei Kawakubo/Comme des Garcons: Art Of The In-Between" Costume Institute Gala - Arrivals

Goodnight.

BEST.

"Rei Kawakubo/Comme des Garcons: Art Of The In-Between" Costume Institute Gala

NO clue who this B is but I love this outfit.

"Rei Kawakubo/Comme des Garcons: Art Of The In-Between" Costume Institute Gala - Arrivals

This was originally on the worst list but then the more I stared at it I convinced myself to bump her up. I think it’s the tail cape, mostly I just want to touch it.

"Rei Kawakubo/Comme des Garcons: Art Of The In-Between" Costume Institute Gala - Arrivals

YoYo lookin like a dime!!!

"Rei Kawakubo/Comme des Garcons: Art Of The In-Between" Costume Institute Gala - Arrivals

I don’t think I’ve ever tossed a compliment Behati’s way (mostly because she stole Adam Levine from me) but she looks beautiful and not weird at all.

"Rei Kawakubo/Comme des Garcons: Art Of The In-Between" Costume Institute Gala

1. This dress is kewl. 2. More importantly, LaLa just faced Melo and his cheating ass.

"Rei Kawakubo/Comme des Garcons: Art Of The In-Between" Costume Institute Gala

High probability for a vag flash here but otherwise elegant.

The Costume Institute Benefit celebrating the opening of Rei Kawakubo/Comme des Garcons: Art of the In-Between, Arrivals, The Metropolitan Museum of Art, New York, USA - 01 May 2017

H8 the clown hair, love the dress.

The Costume Institute Benefit celebrating the opening of Rei Kawakubo/Comme des Garcons: Art of the In-Between, Arrivals, The Metropolitan Museum of Art, New York, USA - 01 May 2017

Could definitely do without the pink fur but the rest is 10’s.

"Rei Kawakubo/Comme des Garcons: Art Of The In-Between" Costume Institute Gala

This dress makes me dizzy but I didn’t realize Elizabeth Banks has the body of a goddess.

"Rei Kawakubo/Comme des Garcons: Art Of The In-Between" Costume Institute Gala - Arrivals

All about this dress.

"Rei Kawakubo/Comme des Garcons: Art Of The In-Between" Costume Institute Gala - Arrivals

Nick reppin the underwhelming males on the red carpet looking fresh as a MF’er.

"Rei Kawakubo/Comme des Garcons: Art Of The In-Between" Costume Institute Gala - Arrivals

I just respect the fact that Diddy is wearing that outrageous cape, tbh.

"Rei Kawakubo/Comme des Garcons: Art Of The In-Between" Costume Institute Gala

Diane always looks good. (PS. I miss Pacey)

"Rei Kawakubo/Comme des Garcons: Art Of The In-Between" Costume Institute Gala

Plaid suit swag for dayz.

The Costume Institute Benefit celebrating the opening of Rei Kawakubo/Comme des Garcons: Art of the In-Between, Arrivals, The Metropolitan Museum of Art, New York, USA - 01 May 2017

Priyanka fulfilling every man’s fantasy of the coat with nothing underneath. Not to be confused with a parking lot flasher. Much different.

"Rei Kawakubo/Comme des Garcons: Art Of The In-Between" Costume Institute Gala - Arrivals

I’m a sucker for pastels. Especially when they’re hard to find among these garbage wacky outfits.

The Costume Institute Benefit celebrating the opening of Rei Kawakubo/Comme des Garcons: Art of the In-Between, Arrivals, The Metropolitan Museum of Art, New York, USA - 01 May 2017

Selena with the Weeknd red carpet debut!!! Now just lose that pink eyeshadow…

"Rei Kawakubo/Comme des Garcons: Art Of The In-Between" Costume Institute Gala - Arrivals

Again, seeking comfort in the simple & approps gowns.

"Rei Kawakubo/Comme des Garcons: Art Of The In-Between" Costume Institute Gala - Arrivals

Throwing Paris Jackson a bone for keeping it classy.

"Rei Kawakubo/Comme des Garcons: Art Of The In-Between" Costume Institute Gala - Arrivals

This dress is kind of weird but this is my favorite color in the whole world so it works.

The Costume Institute Benefit celebrating the opening of Rei Kawakubo/Comme des Garcons: Art of the In-Between, Arrivals, The Metropolitan Museum of Art, New York, USA - 01 May 2017

MARY J FROM THE BLEACHERS! WOO GIRL.

"Rei Kawakubo/Comme des Garcons: Art Of The In-Between" Costume Institute Gala - Arrivals

Again, never thought I’d give Cara a shoutout but I’m real into this metallic suit. Not so much the spraypainted head.

"Rei Kawakubo/Comme des Garcons: Art Of The In-Between" Costume Institute Gala - Arrivals

Perfection.

"Rei Kawakubo/Comme des Garcons: Art Of The In-Between" Costume Institute Gala

Surprisingly into the white top knot

The Costume Institute Benefit celebrating the opening of Rei Kawakubo/Comme des Garcons: Art of the In-Between, Arrivals, The Metropolitan Museum of Art, New York, USA - 01 May 2017

Reese can do no wrong.

"Rei Kawakubo/Comme des Garcons: Art Of The In-Between" Costume Institute Gala - Arrivals

Mostly just focused on that amahzing cat eye and didn’t really look at the rest.

"Rei Kawakubo/Comme des Garcons: Art Of The In-Between" Costume Institute Gala - Arrivals

YaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAzzzzzSSSSSSSSSzzzzzzzzzzzz. Ryan’s bowtie perfectly matched her blue feathers, in case anyone was wondering.

"Rei Kawakubo/Comme des Garcons: Art Of The In-Between" Costume Institute Gala - Arrivals

Pretty sure this was a callback to the last time Gwynnie graced the Met Gala wearing essentially the same dress. Still works. She’s probz still the same size too (eye roll, not bitter or anything.)

"Rei Kawakubo/Comme des Garcons: Art Of The In-Between" Costume Institute Gala - Arrivals

SUMMATIME. (This is the point where I’m running out of original things to say and I’m just going to start tossing out nonsense words.)

"Rei Kawakubo/Comme des Garcons: Art Of The In-Between" Costume Institute Gala - Arrivals

JLo all covered up. WHOA. ARod has changed her. Hey ARod: Beat it, nerd.

Best Dressed of the night and it ain’t even close…

The Costume Institute Benefit celebrating the opening of Rei Kawakubo/Comme des Garcons: Art of the In-Between, Arrivals, The Metropolitan Museum of Art, New York, USA - 01 May 2017

Why did anyone else even bother to show up?

Standard
Red Carpet

Met Gala Red Carpet 2016

Welcome to the Met Gala, where all the tweens are invited and there’s always a weird theme that the Olsen Twins promptly ignore. This year’s theme was: Manus x Machina: Fashion in an Age of Technology…whatever the F that means. Let’s judge.

Woof:

dakotajohnson

Kewl stars, Dakota.

Did Solange just dye last year’s dress yellow and add some latex leggings? #LEMONADE

emmaroberts

Not only is this a granny dress but her face is scarin me.

zendaya

THAT BOWL CUT THOUGH. DAMN.

jimmy

madonna

On what planet does anyone want to see Madonna’s nips or buhhole?

katy-perry

Katy Perry is quickly becoming the next Gaga with her dumb outfits and I will not go quietly into the night about this. I do miss my tamogatchi though.

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How does one accentuate their curves? By adding a bunch of buckles, apparently.

olsens

Ever the rebels, the twins show up in cloaks as per usual. Endless ciggs have been treating MK’s face well. She looks suuupes youthful.

"Manus x Machina: Fashion In An Age Of Technology" Costume Institute Gala - Arrivals

What fresh hell is this seaweed dress, Cindy Lou Who hair combo, Lupey?

"Manus x Machina: Fashion In An Age Of Technology" Costume Institute Gala - Arrivals

Beyonce looks good because she always looks good but I hate this dress. The color, the latex, not for me. SARRY guess I’m just Becky with the good hair.

kimye

Kim doesn’t look tha worst, but Kanye VIBES West ruined it.

The Metropolitan Museum of Art's COSTUME INSTITUTE Benefit Celebrating the Opening of Manus x Machina: Fashion in an Age of Technology, Arrivals, The Metropolitan Museum of Art, NYC, New York, America - 02 May 2016

I feel bad consistently putting Kris on the worst dressed, because you can tell she tries so hard but like, let your daughters outshine you and retire the choker.

MET Gala 2016

Speaking from someone with 100% natty boobs, I don’t know if it’s normal for fake tits to sit at someone’s throat but something isn’t right here, LaLa.

The Metropolitan Museum of Art's COSTUME INSTITUTE Benefit Celebrating the Opening of Manus x Machina: Fashion in an Age of Technology, Arrivals, The Metropolitan Museum of Art, NYC, New York, America - 02 May 2016

Just, wtf is this. Save this bad boy for a 4th of July beach cover-up.

The Metropolitan Museum of Art's COSTUME INSTITUTE Benefit Celebrating the Opening of Manus x Machina: Fashion in an Age of Technology, Arrivals, The Metropolitan Museum of Art, NYC, New York, America - 02 May 2016

If she had covered her bodice more I would’ve been down with this because the silver feathers are elegant. But I can live without seeing your crack whisper out of the tailfeather.

"Manus x Machina: Fashion In An Age Of Technology" Costume Institute Gala - Arrivals

This year’s sponsored by Hefty, Trash Bag Edition.

"Manus x Machina: Fashion In An Age Of Technology" Costume Institute Gala - Arrivals

Following up the garbage bag dress, here’s random recyclables sewn togets.

"Manus x Machina: Fashion In An Age Of Technology" Costume Institute Gala - Arrivals

Do Less.

"Manus x Machina: Fashion In An Age Of Technology" Costume Institute Gala - Arrivals

Hey Ciara, every man above 60 called and they want their toup back:

karl

The Metropolitan Museum of Art's COSTUME INSTITUTE Benefit Celebrating the Opening of Manus x Machina: Fashion in an Age of Technology, Arrivals, The Metropolitan Museum of Art, NYC, New York, America - 02 May 2016

Love that the feathers weren’t enough, there also needed to be a majestic butterfly fluttering across this gown.

MET Gala 2016

I looked right at this outfit and had to do a double take thinking it was 15 years ago and Jen Lindley was attending the ball.

jenbangs

The Metropolitan Museum of Art's COSTUME INSTITUTE Benefit Celebrating the Opening of Manus x Machina: Fashion in an Age of Technology, Arrivals, The Metropolitan Museum of Art, NYC, New York, America - 02 May 2016

What’s happening here?

The Metropolitan Museum of Art's COSTUME INSTITUTE Benefit Celebrating the Opening of Manus x Machina: Fashion in an Age of Technology, Arrivals, The Metropolitan Museum of Art, NYC, New York, America - 02 May 2016

Furrever 15.

The Metropolitan Museum of Art's COSTUME INSTITUTE Benefit Celebrating the Opening of Manus x Machina: Fashion in an Age of Technology, Arrivals, The Metropolitan Museum of Art, NYC, New York, America - 02 May 2016

This looks like a costume from Practical Magic.

"Manus x Machina: Fashion In An Age Of Technology" Costume Institute Gala - Arrivals

I mean, typs for Gaga.

jaredleto

Never wear a white tux if you’re a white and that’s obvious.

"Manus x Machina: Fashion In An Age Of Technology" Costume Institute Gala - Arrivals

I can’t even look at this dress because it feels like Katie is staring into my soul.

The Metropolitan Museum of Art's COSTUME INSTITUTE Benefit Celebrating the Opening of Manus x Machina: Fashion in an Age of Technology, Arrivals, The Metropolitan Museum of Art, NYC, New York, America - 02 May 2016

It’s possible Karlie landed on the worst dressed purely out of jealousy.

"Manus x Machina: Fashion In An Age Of Technology" Costume Institute Gala - Arrivals

HEY Kerry’s preggers again. Also she’s attending a Halloween party.

Yaasss:

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This pose made me laugh for several minutes and I’m not afraid to admit it. The look is actually great, especially for hairy, scary Lorde, but that side head is outrageous.

brielarson

Brie’s closing out a hot red carpet season with this sparkler.

emmastone

I’m digging the dark locks on Emma. Plus this dress honors the theme without being outrageous.

Irachel-mcadams

I think I drooled looking at this picture. Nbd.

amyschumer

I wish her hair wasn’t so erect but the dress is hot stuff.

ninadobrev

This dress is flattering in every way.

rami-malek

I’ve got a thang for blue tuxes.

clairedanes

Cinderella, IRL. Going to a rave:

daneslightupnickjonas

Looking dapper as always. WONDER IF HIM AND KHUD SMOOCHED.

gigizayn

This is some robot fairytale shit. GiGi looks like a smoke and Zayn is her literal knight in shining armor.

The Metropolitan Museum of Art's COSTUME INSTITUTE Benefit Celebrating the Opening of Manus x Machina: Fashion in an Age of Technology, Arrivals, The Metropolitan Museum of Art, NYC, New York, America - 02 May 2016

Alessandra’s dress is just the right amount of weird and also it looks comfy AF.

ansel-elgort

That smolder though. Panty flooder.

"Manus x Machina: Fashion In An Age Of Technology" Costume Institute Gala - Arrivals

Didn’t even need to include the pic with Jeets because Hannah knocks my socks off all on her own.

"Manus x Machina: Fashion In An Age Of Technology" Costume Institute Gala - Arrivals

Sometimes Chloe has a tendency to dress like she’s straight out of a Delia’s catalogue but I like this look on her.

MET Gala 2016

Scary goth face, pretty dress.

The Metropolitan Museum of Art's COSTUME INSTITUTE Benefit Celebrating the Opening of Manus x Machina: Fashion in an Age of Technology, Arrivals, The Metropolitan Museum of Art, NYC, New York, America - 02 May 2016

I wish I could wear this dress. Like, anywhere. What a beautiful fairy.

The Metropolitan Museum of Art's COSTUME INSTITUTE Benefit Celebrating the Opening of Manus x Machina: Fashion in an Age of Technology, Arrivals, The Metropolitan Museum of Art, NYC, New York, America - 02 May 2016

Demi has looked fierce as hell in every appearance ever this year.

"Manus x Machina: Fashion In An Age Of Technology" Costume Institute Gala - Arrivals

Mindy’s lookin fresh and possibly has a keyboard clutch?

"Manus x Machina: Fashion In An Age Of Technology" Costume Institute Gala - Arrivals

This dress is from H&M, so that us commoners can also dress for a ball.

The Metropolitan Museum of Art's COSTUME INSTITUTE Benefit Celebrating the Opening of Manus x Machina: Fashion in an Age of Technology, Arrivals, The Metropolitan Museum of Art, NYC, New York, America - 02 May 2016

I’m torn on this. On the one hand, she looks like a sassy sailor, on the other hand she’s wearing white clam diggers at a ball. You decide.

"Manus x Machina: Fashion In An Age Of Technology" Costume Institute Gala - Arrivals

This kind of looks like trash gathered from a beach but I like it and I bet it’s comfy to lay in.

The Metropolitan Museum of Art's COSTUME INSTITUTE Benefit Celebrating the Opening of Manus x Machina: Fashion in an Age of Technology, Arrivals, The Metropolitan Museum of Art, NYC, New York, America - 02 May 2016

Kendall maintains as best dressed Jenner/Kardash

The Metropolitan Museum of Art's COSTUME INSTITUTE Benefit Celebrating the Opening of Manus x Machina: Fashion in an Age of Technology, Arrivals, The Metropolitan Museum of Art, NYC, New York, America - 02 May 2016

Never did I think the day would come when I’d toss a compliment Kylie’s way but she really cleaned her shit up. She looks classy and essentially is wearing the same dress as Kim and looks a bajillion times better. Take notes, Kimmy.

"Manus x Machina: Fashion In An Age Of Technology" Costume Institute Gala - Arrivals

Let your hurrr downnn!!!

"Manus x Machina: Fashion In An Age Of Technology" Costume Institute Gala - Arrivals

Kate couldn’t even sit in this dress so that blows but she looks like a dime.

"Manus x Machina: Fashion In An Age Of Technology" Costume Institute Gala - Arrivals

Adorbs

The Metropolitan Museum of Art's COSTUME INSTITUTE Benefit Celebrating the Opening of Manus x Machina: Fashion in an Age of Technology, Arrivals, The Metropolitan Museum of Art, NYC, New York, America - 02 May 2016

From the neck down, I’m all over this shit. From the neck up, I’d like to gauge my eyes out. Tay is edgy now and we need to accept it I guess, but the bleach bob NEEDS TO GO. Those shoes slay though.

"Manus x Machina: Fashion In An Age Of Technology" Costume Institute Gala - Arrivals

What bump? Olivia looks skinny as possible in this dress.

The Metropolitan Museum of Art's COSTUME INSTITUTE Benefit Celebrating the Opening of Manus x Machina: Fashion in an Age of Technology, Arrivals, The Metropolitan Museum of Art, NYC, New York, America - 02 May 2016

TBH, I don’t really know what’s going on here but I know that her head/bustier looks fab so I just glossed over the maybe cape, maybe pants sitch down below.

blake

I mean, end with a bang of course. She doesn’t look preggers,

she just looks F-L-A-W-L-E-S-S

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Red Carpet

Met Gala Red Carpet

Since this ball is honoring costumes, it’s known to have some out there fashion statements. This year’s theme was China: Through the Looking Glass, which left a whole lot of room for accidental racism. I’d like to applaud Hollywood for toeing that line quite nicely and avoiding any large scandal. Although no one showed up in a kimono with chopsticks in their hair, I would like to find out how one gets an invite to this event because judging by the MTV crowd, I’m convinced if I rolled up in a floral ball gown I would’ve been let in no questions asked. Anyway, here’s the looks that made me want to puke everywhere, accompanied by the ones that made me drool.

Worst:

lady-gaga-met-gala-2015

This is actually really tame for GaGa. Still hate it though..basically a moomoo with feathers.

katy-perry-met-gala-20152

Ms. Katy Perry ditching her infamous cheeto themed outfits for an emo/graffiti theme.

miley-cyrus-met-gala-2015

http://www.barf.com/always …sweet blue hair.

robert-pattinson-fka-twigs-met-gala-2015

FKA Twigs is somewhat wearing a human…or maybe just their arms/legs? I don’t know. I’m uncomfy.

jennifer-lopez-met-gala-20152

This is the first time I’ve ever seen JLo look old. Also this dress is Mushu from Mulan sewed onto a body. How dare you treat Mushu like that.

kim-kardashian-met-gala-2015 kim-kardashian-kanye-west-met-gala-2015

Hey have you guys ever seen Kim K’s lady bits? This is a really bold look for her because she’s always so modest and covered. What a risk taker.

rihanna-met-gala-2015-2

Belle has arrived and apparently slayed the beast and dyed his fur yellow for her ensemble tonight.

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Wax. Figure.

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This dress belongs on the cover of Seventeen Magazine.

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Not into the color or the shoulder cutout, or the way Emma Roberts looks like she wants to murder a village.

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The cupcake poof makes Alicia look like she’s 1000 lbs and we know she’s not because she’s croppin so hard. Not flattering.

sjp-290

I know it’s like sacrilegious to put SJP on the worst dressed but guess what, I’m doing it. That headdress is stupid.

lily-collins

Little House on the Yellow River

olsens

Damnit guys, you used to be cute as shit. Why does it look like you’re 100 now and 2/3 of the Sanderson sisters? Pretty BA to completely ignore the theme though.

dakota

Dakota looks like she picked this up at Deb and is going to hit the clubs tonight. Read the red carpet, Dakota. Not the event for this kind of mini.

cher

Not in love with this pattern, Cher. Hair on fleek though for someone over 60 that’s impressive.

chloe-grace

Chloe borrowed Kristin’s black choker from Laguna Beach.

bieber

Again, how was this punk invited?

hailee-steinfeld

Bleh.

sienna-miller

Ummm…maybe use the tassels awkwardly hanging down your leg to tie that wide open jacket closed.

olivia-munn

What an unfortunate area to have what looks like blood stains on your dress. Jus sayin.

cara-delevingne-met-gala-2015

Kewl fake tats.

emily-blunt-met-gala-20151

Closest we got to an actual kimono.

olivia-wilde-met-gala-20151

This dress looks like a pinterest project.

Best:

Screen Shot 2015-05-04 at 9.08.32 PM

Hated this so hard when I first saw it. The more that I stare at it though, I respect it. There’s only one way to come back after almost murdering your brother in law in an elevator at last year’s Met Ball, and that’s obviously to wear something like this. Fist bump, Solange.

andy-cohen-met-gala-2015

Andy looking dapper AF.

usher-met-gala-2015

Usher looks like he legitimately has a foot injury but I’m gonna credit the pimp cane to part of this look anyway. Smooth.

joshua-jackson-diane-kruger-met-gala-2015diane-kruger

Always a stylish couple, Diane is crushing the bodysuit.

ansel-elgort-met-gala-2015

Not many men to look at so Ansel made the cut for looking adorbs.

amal-george-clooney-met-gala-2015

I want to hate Amal so bad because she’s so above Hollywood and smart or something but she looks gr8.

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This is a flattering style on her, I could do without pelicans flying across the dress.

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I dig this color on Keri, wish her hair was down.

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This is so asshole that I love it. Anne Hathaway is hated on so much and she’s like guess what I’m going to roll through with my shiny gold hood up. H8ers gonna H8.

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Elizabeth Banks looks great in this color–wish her hair wasn’t pompadour city.

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Good color, good lip.

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Selena putting the goods on display for Matador Biebs.

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The only purple dress I saw and it’s on point.

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Taking a quote from the drunk bros who complimented my derby hat on Saturday, this dress is “elegant AF”

gabrielle-union

Classy and modest for Gabrielle Union.

 katie-holmes

Dumb hair, pwetty gown.

jessica-hart

Don’t know who this is, digging up on the texture and style of this dress.

taraji

Dayumn, Cookie.

amanda-seyfried

Classic white and red lippin.

janelle-monae

Crop coordinate game strong.

kendall

And the winner of best looking reality star goes to Kendall. Take notes Kris & Kimmy. Bow down to the model of the fam.

 hannah-davis

Do you think Jeets is into sharing? Hannah Davis looks like a smooookeeeeshowwww.

claire-danes

Punk Rock Claire Danes. Get itttt.

kerry-washington1

I’m a big sucker for pop of color shoes.

allison-williams1

I don’t necessarily love this dress but  Allison Williams always looks like a beaut.

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SLAAAYYYY QUEEN.  THAT PONYTAIL.

chrissy-teigen-600x800

Always crushing the red carpet Chrissy didn’t disappoint in a backless black gown.

lorde

Mark this day down in history as the first time Lorde has made one of my best dressed lists. She even looks angelic. Who is this person.

uma

Uma threw me for a loop in this dress. Looking fit and fab right down to the earrings.

carey-mulligan-met-gala-2015

Classic look for Carey Mulligan.

gigi-hadid-met-gala-2015

Most beautiful person alive, no biggie. Ties with Hannah Davis for girl crush of the night.

karlie-kloss-met-gala-20152

Karlie came without her twin but still looks fab.

zendaya-met-gala-2015

This is hands down the best Zendaya has ever looked on a red carpet.

zoe-kravitz-met-gala-2015

The septum piercing is real intimidating but this dress is supes cool.

kate-hudson

Not as ballsy as Little Gold Ridinghood Anne but still stellar gold.

reese-witherspoon-01-600x800

Ya girl Reese is literally timeless.

Woofiest Look of the Night:

chloe

Not only is this outfit atrocious but Chloe knows it is because her red carpet face looks like she just smelled a fart.

Favorite Look of the Night:

jlaw1

J.Law doing the damn thing with the top bun and floral crop she’s looking fresh to death and my fave of the night.

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