Red Carpet

Critic’s Choice Awards Red Carpet 2019

Didn’t watch these but when has that ever stopped me from salivating over the red carpet? Don’t answer that.

WORST

24th Annual Critics' Choice Awards, Arrivals, Barker Hanger, Los Angeles, USA - 13 Jan 2019

I think the fact that this is basically a one piece tux is throwing me off. I wonder if she’s wearing a diaper because there’s NO WAY that’s easy to disrobe for bathroom times.

24th Annual Critics' Choice Awards, Arrivals, Barker Hanger, Los Angeles, USA - 13 Jan 2019

Remember last week when I told Amy Adams to take a risk? Yeah I didn’t mean wearing the exact same dress with puffier sleeves.

The 24th Annual Critics' Choice Awards - Arrivals

Flew too close to the sun last week as my best dressed couple of the night. This was a hard fall and I feel v. disappointed.

The 24th Annual Critics' Choice Awards - Arrivals

WTF CONNIE?! Full body sequins AND a puke lime green?! Even your hair isn’t in it’s typical Tami Taylor mermaid wave. Clean it up.

The 24th Annual Critics' Choice Awards - Arrivals

Yay to the fact that full frontal exposure will be translating to every carpet this season!

The 24th Annual Critics' Choice Awards - Press Room

KeWL more BeWbZ!

24th Annual Critics' Choice Awards, Arrivals, Barker Hanger, Los Angeles, USA - 13 Jan 2019

YELLOW. SUNGLASSES. (Also for someone whose wah wahing about always playing gay characters…)

24th Annual Critics' Choice Awards, Arrivals, Barker Hanger, Los Angeles, USA - 13 Jan 2019

Hold me….like the river Jordan….(for those of you who still haven’t seen Free Willy cough cough KAT, this is an Orca reference)

24th Annual Critics' Choice Awards, Arrivals, Barker Hanger, Los Angeles, USA - 13 Jan 2019

TYSM Laura, for giving us a new twist on showing off your rack. The asymmetrical  boob peephole.

The 24th Annual Critics' Choice Awards - Arrivals

Why put a Victorian spin on nudity?

24th Annual Critics' Choice Awards, Arrivals, Barker Hanger, Los Angeles, USA - 13 Jan 2019

This is LOUD.

The 24th Annual Critics' Choice Awards - Arrivals

Quite literally looks like blood stains dribbling down her dress.

24th Annual Critics' Choice Awards, Arrivals, Barker Hanger, Los Angeles, USA - 13 Jan 2019

As a tip from one curly head to another, bangs don’t work on us. Just something you have to come to accept.

The 24th Annual Critics' Choice Awards - Press Room

Sarah sees my cleavage rant and raises the stakes to a WHOLE NOTHA LEVEL.

The 24th Annual Critics' Choice Awards - Arrivals

I feel like both of these outfits could’ve been found in the linens section. Tablecloth meets curtain.

The 24th Annual Critics' Choice Awards - Red Carpet

It has become very clear he’s just looking to make waves at every appearance this awards season. The only waves you’ll be making is treading water on my worst dressed. Boom. Roasted.

BEST

The 24th Annual Critics' Choice Awards - Arrivals

WHOA the color, the texture, it’s electric!

24th Annual Critics' Choice Awards, Arrivals, Barker Hanger, Los Angeles, USA - 13 Jan 2019

Sparkly! And even though there’s a peep, it doesn’t lead to nipples. I approve!

24th Annual Critics' Choice Awards, Arrivals, Barker Hanger, Los Angeles, USA - 13 Jan 2019

My overwhelming love for a matching lip and dress far outweighs my hate for this ultra deep front V trend.

24th Annual Critics' Choice Awards, Arrivals, Barker Hanger, Los Angeles, USA - 13 Jan 2019

This is a shower curtain but honestly I’m hard up for best dressed and this is Lady Gaga’s time to shine.

The 24th Annual Critics' Choice Awards - Red Carpet

Throwing Regina a bone because even though this is pageant-esque, purple is my favorite color and it looks good on her.

The 24th Annual Critics' Choice Awards - Arrivals

Wins the DAYUMMNNNNN award of the night.

The 24th Annual Critics' Choice Awards - Arrivals

THIS JACKET!

24th Annual Critics' Choice Awards, Arrivals, Barker Hanger, Los Angeles, USA - 13 Jan 2019

The white looks clean and classy but I think we could’ve lost the cape here.

24th Annual Critics' Choice Awards, Arrivals, Barker Hanger, Los Angeles, USA - 13 Jan 2019

My namesake going for sexy without being skanky. Always a fine line.

The 24th Annual Critics' Choice Awards - Arrivals

My second namesake is KILLIN this year so far. Love the sparkly deets.

24th Annual Critics' Choice Awards, Arrivals, Barker Hanger, Los Angeles, USA - 13 Jan 2019

Royal blue is always a good choice for Mom. Where’s dad?

The 24th Annual Critics' Choice Awards - Arrivals

Brown or burgundy? Not sure but he looks like a babe.

The 24th Annual Critics' Choice Awards - Arrivals

I’m into this light grey twist.

FAVE LOOK OF THE NIGHT:

The 24th Annual Critics' Choice Awards - Arrivals

Makeup, hair and dress on point!

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Red Carpet

Golden Globes Red Carpet 2019

WHADDDUPPPP AWARDS SZN! How ya derrrrin? Obviously I’m excited that my favorite winter pick-me-up has arrived. Because no matter what anyone says, nothing will ever beat the high of sitting on the couch in flannel pjs, still on a holiday eating schedule (24/7) shouting at the TV that someone looks like trash on one of the biggest nights of their life. Every season presents a different style that everyone latches onto (that I inevitably cannot stand) and this year was the deep cleavage v. If I can see your chin clean down to your belly button without obstruction, you’re getting tossed on the worst dressed and those are just FACTS. I recently dabbled in the cleavage game (new for me) at a wedding and I literally got my already modest v-neck sewn closer together the day before the wedding because you know what is even more alluring than showing your entire front? Leaving something to the imagination. Take notes from me and my boob etiquette, Hollywood. Let’s see how those who did or did not cover their nips fared.

WORST

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Last year her nips punched through the tv screen and poked my eye out so hopefully she’s opted for a bra this year but either way this dress is goo.

76th Annual Golden Globe Awards, Arrivals, Los Angeles, USA - 06 Jan 2019

Is this like 80’s picture day or a bad wedding or what?

76th Annual Golden Globe Awards, Arrivals, Los Angeles, USA - 06 Jan 2019

Irina looks like a Vegas show girl and Bradley STINKS without a little scruff. I mean seriously he looks like a wax figure and a white suit does not complement that.

76th Annual Golden Globe Awards, Arrivals, Los Angeles, USA - 06 Jan 2019

Remember when Taylor Swift sang about Camilla Belle being a big hoebag? Lolz. Great mems. Regardless, this eye shadow/slicked back hair is woof.

76th Annual Golden Globe Awards, Arrivals, Los Angeles, USA - 06 Jan 2019

Since when does Chris Messina think he can go all Draco Malfoy up in this B? (To show how old I am, E News will 100% post this picture and caption it “ZADDY”)

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Hot damn is this dress tacky and a terrible color.

76th Annual Golden Globe Awards, Arrivals, Los Angeles, USA - 06 Jan 2019

I love the style of this dress but I’m so not about that flesh tones life. Is she naked? Look quickly and yes, yes she is.

76th Annual Golden Globe Awards, Arrivals, Los Angeles, USA - 06 Jan 2019

Well this is loud.

76th Annual Golden Globe Awards, Arrivals, Los Angeles, USA - 06 Jan 2019

And this is the opposite of loud. Are you 90, Emma?

76th Annual Golden Globe Awards, Arrivals, Los Angeles, USA - 06 Jan 2019

Now begins the portion of the program where I dump all over Hollywood’s titties. I DON’T NEED TO SEE THIS.

76th Annual Golden Globe Awards - Arrivals

PUT THEM AWAY. WE GET IT. YOU HAVE BOOBS. CALM YOURSELF.

76th Annual Golden Globe Awards, Arrivals, Los Angeles, USA - 06 Jan 2019

I shouldn’t be able to tickle your belly button on the red carpet.

76th Annual Golden Globe Awards - Arrivals

Why are you even wearing anything? At this point just walk naked.

76th Annual Golden Globe Awards - Arrivals

ZOMG more full frontal nudity!

76th Annual Golden Globe Awards, Arrivals, Los Angeles, USA - 06 Jan 2019

This dress is hideous first and foremost. The over the top boobage is just the cherry on top of the wreckage.

NBC's "76th Annual Golden Globe Awards" - Red Carpet Arrivals

I’m sorry, what?!

76th Annual Golden Globe Awards, Arrivals, Los Angeles, USA - 06 Jan 2019

I don’t understand what’s happening here and therefore it blows.

76th Annual Golden Globe Awards, Arrivals, Los Angeles, USA - 06 Jan 2019

My lord, PUT IT AWAY. ALL OF IT. KNOCK IT OFF , LADIES. This is an awards show not the boom boom room at 3am.

76th Annual Golden Globe Awards, Arrivals, Los Angeles, USA - 06 Jan 2019

One shoulder taffeta. Yikes.

76th Annual Golden Globe Awards, Arrivals, Los Angeles, USA - 06 Jan 2019

More bewbz and let’s add in some ruffles.

76th Annual Golden Globe Awards, Arrivals, Los Angeles, USA - 06 Jan 2019

Kid’s art project 101.

NBC's "76th Annual Golden Globe Awards" - Red Carpet Arrivals

jerry

I rest my case.

NBC's "76th Annual Golden Globe Awards" - Arrivals

There’s so many things sticking out. The great war of puffy shoulder vs. erect hair.

76th Annual Golden Globe Awards, Arrivals, Los Angeles, USA - 06 Jan 2019

Ice dancer?

NBC's "76th Annual Golden Globe Awards" - Red Carpet Arrivals

Miss Frizzle teaching us about the solar system?

BEST

76th Annual Golden Globe Awards - Arrivals

Because I’m not a total prude and I can handle cleavage sans navel, Allison is getting after it in this outfit. I also love the chunky jewels.

76th Annual Golden Globe Awards, Arrivals, Los Angeles, USA - 06 Jan 2019

Chrissy Metz may have called her a bitch but I think this outfit is killin it. Dave looks like a baller too.

76th Annual Golden Globe Awards, Arrivals, Los Angeles, USA - 06 Jan 2019

It’s often a red carpet trend that the ladies of SNL/comedy in general dress like they’re wearing paper bags and I feel like this is a fresh change up.

76th Annual Golden Globe Awards, Arrivals, Los Angeles, USA - 06 Jan 2019

Amy plays it safe every time. This isn’t really doing it for me but it’s also not necessarily a WORST look. I think she could stand to take some risks though.

NBC's "76th Annual Golden Globe Awards" - Red Carpet Arrivals

Classy and elegant.

76th Annual Golden Globe Awards, Arrivals, Los Angeles, USA - 06 Jan 2019

Not the top look I’ve ever seen from the Connster but she still looks like a dime piece as always.

76th Annual Golden Globe Awards, Arrivals, Los Angeles, USA - 06 Jan 2019

V. traditional ball gown and respectable that someone her age isn’t showing up in a mesh dress judging by the trends these days.

76th Annual Golden Globe Awards, Arrivals, Los Angeles, USA - 06 Jan 2019

VERSACE VERSACE VERSACE. I don’t know if this is Versace but it kind of should be.

NBC's "76th Annual Golden Globe Awards" - Red Carpet Arrivals

MOM AND DAD FOR LIFE. Also I understand the hypocrisy of calling out all the hoochies with their top half nudity and then approving of this but let it be known that this dress is actually cute so it’s different.

76th Annual Golden Globe Awards - Arrivals

This season’s installment of dresses I want to take a nap in. Also, Debra photographs well but up close? Yeesh.

76th Annual Golden Globe Awards, Arrivals, Los Angeles, USA - 06 Jan 2019

PRINCESSSSSSSSSS

76th Annual Golden Globe Awards, Arrivals, Los Angeles, USA - 06 Jan 2019

Sparkly and not cleavage down to her ankles!

76th Annual Golden Globe Awards - Arrivals

TBH, I walked in from work to this look and I was like whoa that’s a lot. Then it really grew on me. Only Lady Gagz would match her hair to her dress. The sleeves kind of suck, but the color is great and she looks beautiful in the shallow, shalalalllalalowwwwwwww world of Hollywood.

76th Annual Golden Globe Awards, Arrivals, Los Angeles, USA - 06 Jan 2019

Glenn Close gives good cape.

NBC's "76th Annual Golden Globe Awards" - Red Carpet Arrivals

Honestly I laughed out loud when I saw this because people HATE Anne Hathaway. Like HARDCORE HATE someone for no reason and she just stunts up to the red carpet in 2019 dressed like she’s Sammi Sweetheart looking for some Ron Ron Juice in Seaside Heights circa 2010. and I LOVE IT. Get it, girl, Cheetah girls, cheetah sisters.

76th Annual Golden Globe Awards, Arrivals, Los Angeles, USA - 06 Jan 2019

I like it. (I’m running out of things to say.)

76th Annual Golden Globe Awards, Arrivals, Los Angeles, USA - 06 Jan 2019

Not the slightest clue who this jabroni is but the COCKINESS of his stance, tossing that jacket open and rocking the one hand in pocket prom pose. Couldn’t love it more.

76th Annual Golden Globe Awards - Arrivals

Peep those green suede shoes on Idris, tho.

76th Annual Golden Globe Awards, Arrivals, Los Angeles, USA - 06 Jan 2019

JLC poppin that leg like she invented it.

76th Annual Golden Globe Awards, Arrivals, Los Angeles, USA - 06 Jan 2019

This almost won my favorite look of the night because it’s Julia Roberts and also she looks amahzing.

NBC's "76th Annual Golden Globe Awards" - Red Carpet Arrivals

Can’t ever beat a dress with pockets, don’t @ me.

76th Annual Golden Globe Awards, Arrivals, Los Angeles, USA - 06 Jan 2019

Lookin like a red velvet cupcake snack!

76th Annual Golden Globe Awards, Arrivals, Los Angeles, USA - 06 Jan 2019

Gr8 color choice, not so gr8 dress choice.

76th Annual Golden Globe Awards, Arrivals, Los Angeles, USA - 06 Jan 2019

Rare Nicole Kidman compliment: She looks good.

76th Annual Golden Globe Awards, Arrivals, Los Angeles, USA - 06 Jan 2019

Hot DAMN disco ball!

76th Annual Golden Globe Awards, Arrivals, Los Angeles, USA - 06 Jan 2019

❤ the jacket and the fact that Ryan openly admits on the red carpet to each celebrity that he just watched their movie because he was going to be interviewing them.

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Babe soda couple alert!

NBC's "76th Annual Golden Globe Awards" - Arrivals

Host looks good, wifey not so much.

FIJI Water At The 76th Annual Golden Globe Awards

I spy some gold toed shoesiez!

76th Annual Golden Globe Awards, Arrivals, Los Angeles, USA - 06 Jan 2019

DAWSON LEERY! Gasp.

NBC's "76th Annual Golden Globe Awards" - Show - Roaming

SURPRISE! Taylor Swift strutted those stems out onto the stage to present a few awards and I almost screamed at my TV. Whatta babe.

QWEENS OF THE NIGHT:

76th Annual Golden Globe Awards - Arrivals76th Annual Golden Globe Awards - Arrivalsbluntkrasinski

Holy hell these two owned it. Separately AND together.

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JUice

Weekly JUice

All of this week’s most important stories in one place.

1. Frozen 2 is a real thing that’s happening.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

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2. Buzzworthy music videos this week from Carly Rae Jepsen and Miranda Lambert. Miranda’s song Little Red Wagon teeters right on the edge of annoying and catchy for me, but girl deserves props for looking like a smokeshow sassternaut in this video.

Carly Rae Jepsen waited a few years until we were over Call Me Maybe (spoiler: I’ll never be over Call Me Maybe) before she put out another bubblegum smash. This time she recruited Tom Hanks to use emojis in her music video and break it down next to Biebs. Keeping us on our toes with just the right amount of weird.

3. Andy Samberg to host the Emmys in September on FOX. Seth Meyers hosted last year and did a pretty dece job, especially when he recruited Billy Eichner for a little Billy on the Street bit.

I’m a liiiiittle concerned about Andy hosting an entire awards show, but I’ll hold out hope for some new Lonely Island material that doesn’t contain the words Everything or Awesome.

4. Fashion Police is F’ed. Dear, dear Joan Rivers is LITERALLY rolling in her grave. This show is a HOT mess. Giuliana makes some joke about dreads and suddenly the hosts of this show are dropping like flies. E! should stick to their Kash Kow and maybe cut their losses with this show since it’s basically in the dumpsters right now. If Kathy Griffin leaves your show you know you’ve got a reaaaalll problem.

5. Zoolander 2 announced via Walk-Off in Paris Fashion Week. At this point everyone has blabbed about this since it happened at the beginning of the week but I don’t discriminate on my weekly juice…news is news and Zoolander is BACK. What a perfect way to announce that Hollywood is producing yet another lazy sequel, by making a mockery of Paris’s fashion week with a goofy Hansel and Zoolander walk-off. Even Ice Queen Anna Wintour got in on the joke. Props, girl. Buckle up for the 2016 return! More importantly…did we ever find out who won the walk off?

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