Red Carpet

Met Gala Red Carpet 2017

Last year was technology, the year before was China and this year’s theme is……….

Rei Kawakubo/Comme des Garçons.

Huh? I don’t even know why the Met Gala has themes at this point because the Katy Perry’s, Madonna’s and Olsen Twin’s of the world are going to wear whatever weird shit they want and everyone else is going to slap on a gown. So rather than looking that phrase up, which I’m pretty sure is just an artist? I give you…this year’s fashion Halloween, from disasters of fabric explosions to regular red carpet looks.

WORST.

The Costume Institute Benefit celebrating the opening of Rei Kawakubo/Comme des Garcons: Art of the In-Between, Arrivals, The Metropolitan Museum of Art, New York, USA - 01 May 2017

Dunno who Pharell’s lady friend is but she’s wearing a literal cartoon drawn outfit. If she laid down in an empty room someone would mistake her for a couch. Also it appears as though she broke both of her feet and is walking in the boot you get from the hospital.

"Rei Kawakubo/Comme des Garcons: Art Of The In-Between" Costume Institute Gala - Arrivals

Not even a little bit flattering.

The Costume Institute Benefit celebrating the opening of Rei Kawakubo/Comme des Garcons: Art of the In-Between, Arrivals, The Metropolitan Museum of Art, New York, USA - 01 May 2017

Quickest way to terrify me is by making your eyebrows disappear, CLAIRE.

"Rei Kawakubo/Comme des Garcons: Art Of The In-Between" Costume Institute Gala - Arrivals

Ho hum, I’m just going to go to a fancy event HOLDING MY OWN HAIR.

"Rei Kawakubo/Comme des Garcons: Art Of The In-Between" Costume Institute Gala - Arrivals

A tuxedo jacket made for a baby.

"Rei Kawakubo/Comme des Garcons: Art Of The In-Between" Costume Institute Gala - Arrivals

Oh, Katy. Go away pls.

"Rei Kawakubo/Comme des Garcons: Art Of The In-Between" Costume Institute Gala - Arrivals

Maggie almost looks like she’s in pain. It pains her to be on a red carpet just as it pains us all to look at her slouching over with fabrics thrown on her body.

"Rei Kawakubo/Comme des Garcons: Art Of The In-Between" Costume Institute Gala - Arrivals

Is Solange mocking me? Spring in NY literally IS me wearing my floor length winter puffy jacket until roughly June.

"Rei Kawakubo/Comme des Garcons: Art Of The In-Between" Costume Institute Gala - Arrivals

Has Keri passed right before our very eyes? Legit question though. Did someone check to see if she was breathing?

"Rei Kawakubo/Comme des Garcons: Art Of The In-Between" Costume Institute Gala - Arrivals

No matter what anyone says about this, Lena will cry on the internet for 100 years. PS it’s ugly.

The Costume Institute Benefit celebrating the opening of Rei Kawakubo/Comme des Garcons: Art of the In-Between, Arrivals, The Metropolitan Museum of Art, New York, USA - 01 May 2017

Black swan makeup tutorial meets actual dead animal on your head.

The Costume Institute Benefit celebrating the opening of Rei Kawakubo/Comme des Garcons: Art of the In-Between, Arrivals, The Metropolitan Museum of Art, New York, USA - 01 May 2017

NO, MANDY!!! You were crushing it this year!!!!

"Rei Kawakubo/Comme des Garcons: Art Of The In-Between" Costume Institute Gala

The annual glimpse of the Olsen Twins as they crawl out of their caves to stare into our souls. Props to them for not wearing black cloaks this year!

"Rei Kawakubo/Comme des Garcons: Art Of The In-Between" Costume Institute Gala - Arrivals

Lingerie doesn’t count, Nicki.

"Rei Kawakubo/Comme des Garcons: Art Of The In-Between" Costume Institute Gala

Is that paper glued to her head in place of hair?

"Rei Kawakubo/Comme des Garcons: Art Of The In-Between" Costume Institute Gala

Karlie looking fresh AF to lead a board meeting.

The Costume Institute Benefit celebrating the opening of Rei Kawakubo/Comme des Garcons: Art of the In-Between, Arrivals, The Metropolitan Museum of Art, New York, USA - 01 May 2017

This looks like one of those eye tricks that you see at the circus or a magic show. WHAT HAPPENED TO HER BODY?! Oh never mind it’s just covered by weird disproportionate fabrics.

"Rei Kawakubo/Comme des Garcons: Art Of The In-Between" Costume Institute Gala - Arrivals

80’s prom.

"Rei Kawakubo/Comme des Garcons: Art Of The In-Between" Costume Institute Gala - Arrivals

Better than literally showing everyone her bhole last year but also not really.

"Rei Kawakubo/Comme des Garcons: Art Of The In-Between" Costume Institute Gala

Never thought I’d see Celine with a Courtney Love black smokey eye. She must be going through a rebellious phase.

"Rei Kawakubo/Comme des Garcons: Art Of The In-Between" Costume Institute Gala - Arrivals

Sewing machine splosion.

"Rei Kawakubo/Comme des Garcons: Art Of The In-Between" Costume Institute Gala

No thank you.

"Rei Kawakubo/Comme des Garcons: Art Of The In-Between" Costume Institute Gala - Arrivals

I mean it’s festive for cinco de mayo…

"Rei Kawakubo/Comme des Garcons: Art Of The In-Between" Costume Institute Gala

John looks like a babe soda. Feathers are a little too much, Chriss-dawgz.

"Rei Kawakubo/Comme des Garcons: Art Of The In-Between" Costume Institute Gala - Arrivals

The center tie really gives this a gym outfit feel. #MetLeisureWear

"Rei Kawakubo/Comme des Garcons: Art Of The In-Between" Costume Institute Gala - Arrivals

Sure, Kendall. Show us your RB curtz.

"Rei Kawakubo/Comme des Garcons: Art Of The In-Between" Costume Institute Gala - Arrivals

Goodnight.

BEST.

"Rei Kawakubo/Comme des Garcons: Art Of The In-Between" Costume Institute Gala

NO clue who this B is but I love this outfit.

"Rei Kawakubo/Comme des Garcons: Art Of The In-Between" Costume Institute Gala - Arrivals

This was originally on the worst list but then the more I stared at it I convinced myself to bump her up. I think it’s the tail cape, mostly I just want to touch it.

"Rei Kawakubo/Comme des Garcons: Art Of The In-Between" Costume Institute Gala - Arrivals

YoYo lookin like a dime!!!

"Rei Kawakubo/Comme des Garcons: Art Of The In-Between" Costume Institute Gala - Arrivals

I don’t think I’ve ever tossed a compliment Behati’s way (mostly because she stole Adam Levine from me) but she looks beautiful and not weird at all.

"Rei Kawakubo/Comme des Garcons: Art Of The In-Between" Costume Institute Gala

1. This dress is kewl. 2. More importantly, LaLa just faced Melo and his cheating ass.

"Rei Kawakubo/Comme des Garcons: Art Of The In-Between" Costume Institute Gala

High probability for a vag flash here but otherwise elegant.

The Costume Institute Benefit celebrating the opening of Rei Kawakubo/Comme des Garcons: Art of the In-Between, Arrivals, The Metropolitan Museum of Art, New York, USA - 01 May 2017

H8 the clown hair, love the dress.

The Costume Institute Benefit celebrating the opening of Rei Kawakubo/Comme des Garcons: Art of the In-Between, Arrivals, The Metropolitan Museum of Art, New York, USA - 01 May 2017

Could definitely do without the pink fur but the rest is 10’s.

"Rei Kawakubo/Comme des Garcons: Art Of The In-Between" Costume Institute Gala

This dress makes me dizzy but I didn’t realize Elizabeth Banks has the body of a goddess.

"Rei Kawakubo/Comme des Garcons: Art Of The In-Between" Costume Institute Gala - Arrivals

All about this dress.

"Rei Kawakubo/Comme des Garcons: Art Of The In-Between" Costume Institute Gala - Arrivals

Nick reppin the underwhelming males on the red carpet looking fresh as a MF’er.

"Rei Kawakubo/Comme des Garcons: Art Of The In-Between" Costume Institute Gala - Arrivals

I just respect the fact that Diddy is wearing that outrageous cape, tbh.

"Rei Kawakubo/Comme des Garcons: Art Of The In-Between" Costume Institute Gala

Diane always looks good. (PS. I miss Pacey)

"Rei Kawakubo/Comme des Garcons: Art Of The In-Between" Costume Institute Gala

Plaid suit swag for dayz.

The Costume Institute Benefit celebrating the opening of Rei Kawakubo/Comme des Garcons: Art of the In-Between, Arrivals, The Metropolitan Museum of Art, New York, USA - 01 May 2017

Priyanka fulfilling every man’s fantasy of the coat with nothing underneath. Not to be confused with a parking lot flasher. Much different.

"Rei Kawakubo/Comme des Garcons: Art Of The In-Between" Costume Institute Gala - Arrivals

I’m a sucker for pastels. Especially when they’re hard to find among these garbage wacky outfits.

The Costume Institute Benefit celebrating the opening of Rei Kawakubo/Comme des Garcons: Art of the In-Between, Arrivals, The Metropolitan Museum of Art, New York, USA - 01 May 2017

Selena with the Weeknd red carpet debut!!! Now just lose that pink eyeshadow…

"Rei Kawakubo/Comme des Garcons: Art Of The In-Between" Costume Institute Gala - Arrivals

Again, seeking comfort in the simple & approps gowns.

"Rei Kawakubo/Comme des Garcons: Art Of The In-Between" Costume Institute Gala - Arrivals

Throwing Paris Jackson a bone for keeping it classy.

"Rei Kawakubo/Comme des Garcons: Art Of The In-Between" Costume Institute Gala - Arrivals

This dress is kind of weird but this is my favorite color in the whole world so it works.

The Costume Institute Benefit celebrating the opening of Rei Kawakubo/Comme des Garcons: Art of the In-Between, Arrivals, The Metropolitan Museum of Art, New York, USA - 01 May 2017

MARY J FROM THE BLEACHERS! WOO GIRL.

"Rei Kawakubo/Comme des Garcons: Art Of The In-Between" Costume Institute Gala - Arrivals

Again, never thought I’d give Cara a shoutout but I’m real into this metallic suit. Not so much the spraypainted head.

"Rei Kawakubo/Comme des Garcons: Art Of The In-Between" Costume Institute Gala - Arrivals

Perfection.

"Rei Kawakubo/Comme des Garcons: Art Of The In-Between" Costume Institute Gala

Surprisingly into the white top knot

The Costume Institute Benefit celebrating the opening of Rei Kawakubo/Comme des Garcons: Art of the In-Between, Arrivals, The Metropolitan Museum of Art, New York, USA - 01 May 2017

Reese can do no wrong.

"Rei Kawakubo/Comme des Garcons: Art Of The In-Between" Costume Institute Gala - Arrivals

Mostly just focused on that amahzing cat eye and didn’t really look at the rest.

"Rei Kawakubo/Comme des Garcons: Art Of The In-Between" Costume Institute Gala - Arrivals

YaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAzzzzzSSSSSSSSSzzzzzzzzzzzz. Ryan’s bowtie perfectly matched her blue feathers, in case anyone was wondering.

"Rei Kawakubo/Comme des Garcons: Art Of The In-Between" Costume Institute Gala - Arrivals

Pretty sure this was a callback to the last time Gwynnie graced the Met Gala wearing essentially the same dress. Still works. She’s probz still the same size too (eye roll, not bitter or anything.)

"Rei Kawakubo/Comme des Garcons: Art Of The In-Between" Costume Institute Gala - Arrivals

SUMMATIME. (This is the point where I’m running out of original things to say and I’m just going to start tossing out nonsense words.)

"Rei Kawakubo/Comme des Garcons: Art Of The In-Between" Costume Institute Gala - Arrivals

JLo all covered up. WHOA. ARod has changed her. Hey ARod: Beat it, nerd.

Best Dressed of the night and it ain’t even close…

The Costume Institute Benefit celebrating the opening of Rei Kawakubo/Comme des Garcons: Art of the In-Between, Arrivals, The Metropolitan Museum of Art, New York, USA - 01 May 2017

Why did anyone else even bother to show up?

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Red Carpet

Met Gala Red Carpet

Since this ball is honoring costumes, it’s known to have some out there fashion statements. This year’s theme was China: Through the Looking Glass, which left a whole lot of room for accidental racism. I’d like to applaud Hollywood for toeing that line quite nicely and avoiding any large scandal. Although no one showed up in a kimono with chopsticks in their hair, I would like to find out how one gets an invite to this event because judging by the MTV crowd, I’m convinced if I rolled up in a floral ball gown I would’ve been let in no questions asked. Anyway, here’s the looks that made me want to puke everywhere, accompanied by the ones that made me drool.

Worst:

lady-gaga-met-gala-2015

This is actually really tame for GaGa. Still hate it though..basically a moomoo with feathers.

katy-perry-met-gala-20152

Ms. Katy Perry ditching her infamous cheeto themed outfits for an emo/graffiti theme.

miley-cyrus-met-gala-2015

http://www.barf.com/always …sweet blue hair.

robert-pattinson-fka-twigs-met-gala-2015

FKA Twigs is somewhat wearing a human…or maybe just their arms/legs? I don’t know. I’m uncomfy.

jennifer-lopez-met-gala-20152

This is the first time I’ve ever seen JLo look old. Also this dress is Mushu from Mulan sewed onto a body. How dare you treat Mushu like that.

kim-kardashian-met-gala-2015 kim-kardashian-kanye-west-met-gala-2015

Hey have you guys ever seen Kim K’s lady bits? This is a really bold look for her because she’s always so modest and covered. What a risk taker.

rihanna-met-gala-2015-2

Belle has arrived and apparently slayed the beast and dyed his fur yellow for her ensemble tonight.

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Wax. Figure.

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This dress belongs on the cover of Seventeen Magazine.

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Not into the color or the shoulder cutout, or the way Emma Roberts looks like she wants to murder a village.

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The cupcake poof makes Alicia look like she’s 1000 lbs and we know she’s not because she’s croppin so hard. Not flattering.

sjp-290

I know it’s like sacrilegious to put SJP on the worst dressed but guess what, I’m doing it. That headdress is stupid.

lily-collins

Little House on the Yellow River

olsens

Damnit guys, you used to be cute as shit. Why does it look like you’re 100 now and 2/3 of the Sanderson sisters? Pretty BA to completely ignore the theme though.

dakota

Dakota looks like she picked this up at Deb and is going to hit the clubs tonight. Read the red carpet, Dakota. Not the event for this kind of mini.

cher

Not in love with this pattern, Cher. Hair on fleek though for someone over 60 that’s impressive.

chloe-grace

Chloe borrowed Kristin’s black choker from Laguna Beach.

bieber

Again, how was this punk invited?

hailee-steinfeld

Bleh.

sienna-miller

Ummm…maybe use the tassels awkwardly hanging down your leg to tie that wide open jacket closed.

olivia-munn

What an unfortunate area to have what looks like blood stains on your dress. Jus sayin.

cara-delevingne-met-gala-2015

Kewl fake tats.

emily-blunt-met-gala-20151

Closest we got to an actual kimono.

olivia-wilde-met-gala-20151

This dress looks like a pinterest project.

Best:

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Hated this so hard when I first saw it. The more that I stare at it though, I respect it. There’s only one way to come back after almost murdering your brother in law in an elevator at last year’s Met Ball, and that’s obviously to wear something like this. Fist bump, Solange.

andy-cohen-met-gala-2015

Andy looking dapper AF.

usher-met-gala-2015

Usher looks like he legitimately has a foot injury but I’m gonna credit the pimp cane to part of this look anyway. Smooth.

joshua-jackson-diane-kruger-met-gala-2015diane-kruger

Always a stylish couple, Diane is crushing the bodysuit.

ansel-elgort-met-gala-2015

Not many men to look at so Ansel made the cut for looking adorbs.

amal-george-clooney-met-gala-2015

I want to hate Amal so bad because she’s so above Hollywood and smart or something but she looks gr8.

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This is a flattering style on her, I could do without pelicans flying across the dress.

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I dig this color on Keri, wish her hair was down.

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This is so asshole that I love it. Anne Hathaway is hated on so much and she’s like guess what I’m going to roll through with my shiny gold hood up. H8ers gonna H8.

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Elizabeth Banks looks great in this color–wish her hair wasn’t pompadour city.

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Good color, good lip.

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Selena putting the goods on display for Matador Biebs.

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The only purple dress I saw and it’s on point.

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Taking a quote from the drunk bros who complimented my derby hat on Saturday, this dress is “elegant AF”

gabrielle-union

Classy and modest for Gabrielle Union.

 katie-holmes

Dumb hair, pwetty gown.

jessica-hart

Don’t know who this is, digging up on the texture and style of this dress.

taraji

Dayumn, Cookie.

amanda-seyfried

Classic white and red lippin.

janelle-monae

Crop coordinate game strong.

kendall

And the winner of best looking reality star goes to Kendall. Take notes Kris & Kimmy. Bow down to the model of the fam.

 hannah-davis

Do you think Jeets is into sharing? Hannah Davis looks like a smooookeeeeshowwww.

claire-danes

Punk Rock Claire Danes. Get itttt.

kerry-washington1

I’m a big sucker for pop of color shoes.

allison-williams1

I don’t necessarily love this dress but  Allison Williams always looks like a beaut.

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SLAAAYYYY QUEEN.  THAT PONYTAIL.

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Always crushing the red carpet Chrissy didn’t disappoint in a backless black gown.

lorde

Mark this day down in history as the first time Lorde has made one of my best dressed lists. She even looks angelic. Who is this person.

uma

Uma threw me for a loop in this dress. Looking fit and fab right down to the earrings.

carey-mulligan-met-gala-2015

Classic look for Carey Mulligan.

gigi-hadid-met-gala-2015

Most beautiful person alive, no biggie. Ties with Hannah Davis for girl crush of the night.

karlie-kloss-met-gala-20152

Karlie came without her twin but still looks fab.

zendaya-met-gala-2015

This is hands down the best Zendaya has ever looked on a red carpet.

zoe-kravitz-met-gala-2015

The septum piercing is real intimidating but this dress is supes cool.

kate-hudson

Not as ballsy as Little Gold Ridinghood Anne but still stellar gold.

reese-witherspoon-01-600x800

Ya girl Reese is literally timeless.

Woofiest Look of the Night:

chloe

Not only is this outfit atrocious but Chloe knows it is because her red carpet face looks like she just smelled a fart.

Favorite Look of the Night:

jlaw1

J.Law doing the damn thing with the top bun and floral crop she’s looking fresh to death and my fave of the night.

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