HEY! We’re back on that usual red carpet grind of multi-colored dresses just in time for the Oscars! Phew. I couldn’t do another red carpet of all black errething regardless of the statement being made. I think the welcoming of color made me a lot more generous with my best dressed tonight. Also props to the nuggets of Hollywood for swaggin out hardcore, forcing me to acknowledge a whole lotta children’s fashion.

WORST

What fresh hell is this, Molly Sims? Are you an 80’s bridesmaid?

WOOF. What is happening here?

This really doesn’t look bad but I have a bone to pick with velvet from a personal standpoint. Saarryyyy.

This is fun because it’s like little house on the prairie but with nipple sheer cutouts. Hmmm…

Niecey with those tits out for the boys AND salsa sleeves. Lot happenin up top.

I don’t love these multi-directional stripes.

Alison Williams going for the flapper who hasn’t washed her hair in a week lewk.

I’ll say it once again for the people in the back, CUTOUTS MAKE YOU LOOK FAT, LADIES–EVEN THOUGH YOU’RE ACTUALLY VERY SKINNY.

I watched an episode of Say Yes to the Dress yesterday that had a particularly over the top crystal wedding gown and this bedazzle on top of her dress is giving me traumatic flashbacks.

This resembles a curtain too much to me.

Even though this dress is pink and sparkly, that damn tassel ribbon in the middle is giving off some hardcore altar boy uniform vibes.

I just don’t understand what these lady fingers dazzling across her torso and bosom are supposed to be.

I’m going against my girl Connie because I’ve seen her look a zillion times better. This isn’t the right dress for her.

BEST

This is a pretty daring V but because Laura’s boobs aren’t poking me in the eyeball, it works nicely.

Don’t get to see a lot of hunter green in the mix and I ‘preash it.

DAWWWWWWWWW.

You KNOW I’m being generous when I’m tossing Nicole on the best dressed. But seriously girl looks good AND she has the flu. So like no excuses for any other red carpet appearance she’s had.

I looooove this shade of blue on Manders.

Dunno who this is but I want to tuck myself into this skirt and take a nice snoozer.

Leslie Bibb looks like a babe soda also she’s significantly taller than Sam and snaps for her because I have a real complex with towering over my man.

If I were ever allowed near a red carpet you bet your ass I’d wear chucks with my dress.

Liking this dress caught me off guard because it’s the actual same color as her skin. And yet she still looks beautiful and not like she’s wearing a skinsuit.

Could probably do without the fur lap band but still pretty.

I wish her hair was down but otherwise the dress looks good. No parrot this time!

THIS IS FUN!

Always love a good crisp white dress.

What a stud with the loafer-hunter green combo deal.

Ya boy Miguel from This is Us from left field!

Of course Sterling is rocking stunna shades.

Mini Kev and Mini Randall from This is Us both poppin in prints!