Red Carpet

SAG Awards Red Carpet 2023

We are in the future! How many years did I biiitch about the fact that awards shows (and basic cable) should be available to all?! Cut to 2023 when the SAG’s (arguably one of the least watched awards shows as it used to air on TBS) was streamed on YouTube via the Netflix channel. The me that bought an antenna three years ago and spent an afternoon holding it up in different areas of my *brick* building of an apartment only to never get a sig for an awards show and have to return that bad boy to Best Buy is VERY pleased about this recent development. Petition to move ALL awards shows to the free to all channels by 2025 or WE RIOT. No shitty commercials, no crafting new emails for free Live TV trials, and best discovery of them all…no censoring! Those celebs were dropping F bombs left and right and I was sliiiiiving for it. UNCUT, BABY! Imagine what the Will Smith slap rant would’ve looked like had network TV not scrambled to bleep it out and cover our eyes?! LET US SEE IT ALL! Judging by the post-break wrangling that presenters were doing onstage, people were beebopping around and getting rowdy out there. Give us an audience cam and let us watch celebs hobnob in between awards instead of commercials. Did I just singlehandedly make awards shows watchable again by changing a few minor key deets? YUP.


Laura Linney

The pushed back hair and shoulder ruffles really turned me off here. Honestly it’s mostly the hair. Like, how is it just staying back like that. It’s as if she ran her fingers through her hair with super glue so it wouldn’t fall forward again because it’s certainly not wet or slicked or gelled. MYSTERY.

Carl Clemons Hopkins

Look, if it was just the plaid jacket, I’d be like ok that’s a little off-beat but I can get down with it. THAT HAT THOUGH. What IS it?! A cross between a captain’s hat and a beanie?  I’m operating under the assumption that this hat is for fashion and not for any religious purposes but I’m sure I’ll swiftly be cancelled if I’ve misjudged this sitch. If it was a style choice, I want nothing more than to knock it off his lil head.

Patricia Arquette

AH MY EYES! This is offensive on so many levels. The color, the silk/lace combo deal, the bolero and the tiny beaded purse. Holy hell this is a matronly number straight outta 1997.

Emily Blunt

Emily Blunt looks snatched as hell considering she’s got multiple children, but this dress is way too much for me. If it was just the flowers, or just the cutouts or just the bright red, fine. But all three? Sensory overload, homeslice.

Eddie Redmayne

When I tell you I BURST out laughing when I stumbled upon this. Show up to the awards show where actors are their DOUCHIEST talking about the craft of acting, wearing doucheroni from head to toe. Seems about right.

Amy Poehler

I’ll never understand the ‘toss a circle at the top’ design. This is so boring and Amy is WAY too young to be pushed into the women of a certain age black gown category.

Julia Garner

I think she was maybe going for a glam sea urchin vibe? The result was terrifying.

Michael Imperioli

Bold of me to put these two on the worst dressed list when they’re mean muggin the camera this hard. Looks like they might reach right through this picture and give me a swirlie. But I like to live on the edge and this King and Queen of darkness act is not fitting for a joyous awards show. SO COME AT ME, BROS.

Jenny Slate

Sick bejeweled bra. This looks like when Phoebe was trying to seduce Chandler to get him to admit he was schtupping Monica and she just showed him her bra to make him flustered and confess.

Jamie Lee Curtis

I gotta be honest I did not know that JLC was packing this heat in the chestal area and yet at the same time it’s certainly something I didn’t need to know. Way too much cleave for a Sunday night. Also, kind of irked me that she called herself a nepo baby twice like she’s in on the joke, then essentially mounted Michelle Yeoh in front of everyone and wouldn’t stop slobbering all over her during her acceptance speech while not even MENTIONING Stephanie Hsu who was nominated in the same category for the same damn movie. RUDE. I didn’t think I’d ever be coming for such a Hollywood Heavyweight but she really starting asking for it when she genuinely guest-starred on an episode of the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills to hawk her charity merch. So clearly my feelings of disappointment toward her have been festering for quite a while. Do better, Jamie Lee.

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This is atrocious and there really is no other word to describe it. BROWN AND BABY BLUE CHESS BOARD on a dress, with a bell bottom silhouette. Woofsicles.

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This foreign fella is the apple of many women’s eye if I had to judge based on all the thirsty tweets and yet I don’t get it. It’s like Harry Styles, actor edition. He’s got a mullet and he’s wearing an embroidered skirt…why are we acting like this dweebosaurus is a panty dropper?

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NIGHTMARE FUEL. I saw this and was like wait I thought Evan Peters played Jeffrey Dahmer. Color me confused that the guy who showed up dressed like a creep monster was not attending in character but rather just looked at this head to toe whoutfit and thought, I will be irresistible in this.

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I didn’t like this look to start and then Aubrey went onstage to present and I audibly gasped at how unforgiving the cut is. I imagine like 99% of Hollywood, Aubrey is a size zero and merely exists on a deep gulp of fresh air whilst hiking, grilled chicken and the occasional wheatgrass smoothie (with oat milk, obv.) And yet, due to the way this fabric is wrapped around her body, she looked fat. If I were her and I peeped the photo below, I’d immediately fire my stylist and anyone else who had a hand in this criss cross applesauce of a fashion choice.


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A lace peacock. HOW BOUT NO.

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At first glance I felt like Michelle resembled one of those giant swiffers your car cruises by in a car wash, but then she took the stage for her win and I saw the up close and personal deets of this unfortunate dress accessory. Those are literally the crinkly paper fillers you find at the dollar store and stuff in gift baskets. SHE IS WEARING EASTER BASKET FILLER GLUED TO HER FRONT. And even worse, she was NOT self-aware of her frazzled paps dress and let it rustle into the mic for a consistent fuzzy feedback sound that made me want to rip my ears clean off my head for her entire acceptance speech. HOW DO YOU NOT HEAR THE STATIC WHILE YOU’RE SPEAKING?!

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I love the headband. Her hair looks amazing. And more importantly, I love that she won and boldly waved her hands around with one of her long black nails just straight up missing from her hand. Jennifer Coolidge is white trash personified and she’s a woman of the commoners. She shows us that we all can have a winning year after a lackluster career of doing a bit character and just haphazardly tossing red carpet looks together. As someone who has dabbled casually in the press-on nails game because my sister is an avid presser, I know how easily one of those guys can pop right off and get lost in the crowd. I can only hope that Jennifer was having herself a night and didn’t even realize one of her talons fell off, reppin gals everywhere who can’t afford to get an ANC mani every 2 weeks but still want fresh digits they can tap on a hard surface. Let’s normalize ratchet nails. (Related side bar, I’ve been vocal about wondering how girls with the long pointed tips wipe without stabbing their buttholes and I have a new question to add to that list…after going to a rock climbing gym for children this weekend and noticing that each employee had Cardi B nails, how exactly are y’all popping harnesses in and out and assisting children as they scale walls with 10 inch plastic daggers attached to each finger? We might have underestimated the next generation because if they can manage that without an oopsie stabbing or ripped finger, they can do anything.)

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Head to tail floofs and of course…MER-MAID-BOT-TOM. 

James Marsden

I typically shout out any man who wears something different from a black suit but POWDER BLUE?! Really?! ANY other shade of blue would’ve slapped but we had to go with the stereotypical 80’s prom choice…Also, is there a flood coming? James coming off like a real Geekburger here.

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What in the actual fuck are we looking at here. I’m speechless.

Michelle Williams

I think the style of this dress is different and definitely flattering but Michelle looks like she’s 900 years old and I can’t stand for that. The combination of a black gown, pearl necklace, and her hair ripped back in a low library bun is aging her THE MOST. Even her pose looks stiff as hell. I want Jen Lindley back and I wanted her back yesterday. Loosen up, gurlfran!

Andrew Garfield

He was on the best dressed because he’s cute but after hours of hacking away at this list I decided that NOT ALL CUTE BOYS CAN GET AWAY WITH BEING A SNOOZERONI. We need more.


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Beautiful gown topped off by a teeny tiny little bun that is just downright adorable.

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Really love that this dress is centered around pulling back all of the fabric to show off your stems. And she’s rockin a pair of gams so I’m glad they pulled back the curtain to reveal ’em.

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Honestly probably would’ve loved this blazer as a dress (because it’s long enough, key deet) but this hot pink Barbie power suit is doing it for me.

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Curly headed f*ck is still serving in a basic black tux. Rounding out awards season as a thirst trap and reeeealllyyyy making me question why The Bear was considered a comedy because it was most certainly not.

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Love this splash of design but not too over the top, also love that he was the only one bold enough to try a bit during his nomination and he crushed a burger. Respect.

Fran Drescher

Fran has crossed the threshold of the aged Hollywood black dress requirement but the sparkles suit her and she’s rockin that hourglass figure.

Adam Sandler

Mrs. Sandler looks like a knockout. Adam looks better than when he dons cargo shorts and a double XL grey tee, but still giving schlubby dad vibes with the oversized suit and carrying his cell phone on the red carpet like he’s about to put his readers on and send a size 14 font text to his daughters.

Elaine Hendrix Lisa Ann Walter

This past weekend we introduced my niece to the MAGIC that is The Parent Trap. About a half hour into the movie when they show an 11 year old stabbing another 11 year old with a raw needle at summer camp, it seemed like maybe this was a little advanced for a kindergartener but that’s why I’m the auntie and a bad influence. The important takeaway here is that The Parent Trap got a new fan in Gen Alpha (yeah I just googled that) and it’s the gift that keeps on giving. Fresh off watching, this reunion hit a little harder especially because Mer and Chessy are polar opposite characters. One is a gold-digging twat, the other a nanny with a heart of gold. Both clean up well TWENTY-FIVE years later.

Tyler James Williams

Now that we’ve done a full awards season with the Abbott Elementary cast, it’s clear Tyler is into stuntin a look. I fully support any man who wants to step out of the box in the suit department but not into a skirt. Try to spice up formal wear without stealing our bag. Tyler did a gr8 job.

Janelle James

Damn this is sexy without being overtly revealing.

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Dig the dark frames on Brendan.

Danielle Deadwyler

This gown is fishy in a glam way. Bet you’ve never heard those two things together before. Also, ever the one to push my own agenda, now that we’re on the topic of this actress, let’s talk about her role that wasn’t nominated but should have been…Zora in From Scratch on Netflix. First of all, 10/10 recommend if you want to feel like you’ve transported to Italy and also want to cry your eye sockets out of your damn skull, second of all #JusticeForZora who spends the ENTIRE movie bending over backwards to cater to her sister while her sister never once takes a minute to appreciate it or ask Zora if she needs anything. Grazie for coming to my Ted Talk.

Ashley Park

Apparently the gown was artfully placed in this shot to cover up her ankle bracelet of the law enforcement variety which is laugh out loud funny to me. Also I think she looks great and wanted to give her a shoutout because everything she wore in Emily in Paris made me literally want to puke in my hands so it’s good to see she can wear normal things.

Damian Young

I’m assuming this jabrones is Italian and if he’s not, I wholeheartedly support the Euro-chic effort here. This is what you would see a gent wearing on a regular day in Florence and it makes me happy. Pastel pink pants, royal blue loafs and a velvet blazer. Pretty much has no place at a black tie event but I like to keep everyone on their toes and toss in one ‘committing to the bit’ accolade. Ciao,ciaociaoCIAOOOOO.

Cara Delevigne

Bold red lip and a pants moment, YES PLZZZZZ.

Sally Field

Sally won a lifetime achievement award, presented by Andrew Garfield which could not have been more random and cringey but she’s werkin this lace gown and looks fab.

Kathryn Newton

You don’t see a lot of pastel purple on red carpets these days and I really enjoy this change of pace. The black contrast is fun and makes it a scooch more edgy.

Meghann Fahy

I have a raging girl crush boner for Meghann ever since she played my favorite character Sutton on The Bold Type and therefore she can do no wrong. She looks like a Grecian goddess.

Quinta Brunson

SHELL YEAH. It’s giving Ariel goes to a black tie event and naturally I’m obsessed.

Ana de Armas

Metallic and sultry and I’m running out of things to say because so many people looked lovely this evening or maybe I’m just taking a night off from being a judgy lil betch but either way, good job Ana.

Amanda Seyfried

I’m torn on this one and I decided to be nice. (Seriously, what’s going on with me?! Am I alright?) I think her hair looks amazing and the color is very complementary to her skin-tone, but the tail’s gotta go. It’s like wearing a table runner tacked to the back of your dress. Has absolutely no business trailing after a sixties party frock like this. But the pony and the perfectly winged liner? OoOohhh YEAH.


John Krasinski

I’m about to directly contradict what I said about Andrew Garfield but it wouldn’t be a red carpet blog if I didn’t declare something as Bible and then walk it back just because I liked another celeb better. But it’s JOHN KRASINSKI. Or Kraz, as Will Arnett calls him in his deep raspy commercial voice. Pinstripes and a pocket chain? Kinda rough. But it’s Kraz. He’s such a babe soda. Shh, just let it happen.

Jessica Chastain

Her lipstick matches her dress perfectly and you know I have a weak spot for that. All around looking elegant.

Jenna Ortega

Fun, young and edgy. If my old eyes aren’t betraying me those look like shorts underneath the skirt and nobody ships a skort like me. Functional and you never have to worry about your bits being covered when you’ve got shorts underneath, which is why I still wear bike shorts under all my dresses in the summer. BEND OVER FREELY WITH SPANKY PANTS!

Niecy Nash

There’s two neon moments that made my best dressed (and one that didn’t, you know what you did, Angela.) Bright colors bring me joy and this is a funky highlighter princess gown.

Austin Butler

Austin took a lot of heat for trying to talk like Elvis forever but he can talk in any accent he’d like lookin like maroon sex on a stick.

Viola Davis

There’s lots of things that are working here: the long sleeves, the wavy neckline and the matching neon clutch. Also no outfit is complete without a statement hoop. Top contender for best dressed.

Sheryl Lee Ralph

Really love this sparkly blush number on Sheryl.

Hailey Lu Richardson

The straight spiky bun is giving me hard flashbacks to me trying to replicate that out of a Seventeen magazine with chopsticks stuck through it. Spoiler alert: my hair type will never be perfect bun with sticks and for that I am sad. Bunz aside, I’m all about this chunky pearl of a dress.



No stranger to a best dressed list, Zendaya usually pulls out all of the stops and often has many quick changes throughout the night so she can shove her impeccable sense of fashion down our little peasant throats. A moment of silence for a gown that is covered in intricate satin roses. She looks stunning and she knows it. 

Red Carpet

SAG Awards Red Carpet 2022

I don’t know what the hell has been going on with Hollywood and awards shows still but we’re going on year 2 of no awards season and what a dry spell it has been for Salty Ju red carpet blogs. Yeah, yeah, I know we’re still in a panny but I also know for a fact that Hollywood is above Covid and always has been. The rules don’t apply to them because they’ve been vaccinated and sang Imagine and write poems for Putin to stop the invasion of the Ukraine. So why is it that we’re having the SAG’s in February, no Grammys at all and the Oscars in March? Winter is depressing enough as is and then you rip away my opportunity to drink and eat cheeses for dinner and judge your fashion choices? Get your shit together, boo boo’s.


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Andrew is giving off big-time 70’s dad vibes and I get that this is hawt for people these days because Harry Styles exists and girls slobber all over his lesbian in a fitted pant suit vibe and not to knock that  but I’m simply here to say this cheesetastic look is not for me.

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I expected something much more lavish and over the top from Ms Gucci herself. This dress looks fine on her but I’ve never been a fan of the fresh outta the shower wet hair style and white sparkly eye shadow is so 8th grade.

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Nicole Kidman may be smiling and waving here but inside her brain she’s probably thinking about death and destruction which is bringing her joy because she is Wednesday Adams in this dress.

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Speaking of evil, Selena decided to channel Maleficent minus the horns. Seriously look at her face and tell me it is not terrifyingly fierce. Also related but unrelated, puff sleeves need to be eradicated from this earth.

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It’s the arts and crafts neckline and weird butt flap for me. Also is that a built-in open fanny pack in the front? Actually kind of genius for someone like me who misses my mouth 90% of the time while snacking. Could be a good crumb catcher.

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This suit is fine…boring but fine. Ew times 1,000 to this haircut. Boy would clean UP if he got a decent snip and style. Did he stop at SuperCuts on his way to the carpet? If it feels like I’m being extra picky here, please remember that I haven’t had a red carpet to judge since NOVEMBER and my cup is overflowing with fashion snark. The more red carpets I have, the nicer I am and honestly celebrities should factor this into future awards show schedules if they know what’s good for them.

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BLAAAHHHHHHHHH. Supes plain, supes unflattering and might I extend my puffy sleeve moratorium to all puff, everywhere? No one needs puff.

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This dress looks like a cheap prom dress from Weathervane and then adding in lace polka dot gloves and gold platform stripper heels reaaaalllyyyy seals the deal.

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I don’t know when Will Smith stopped being cool in my eyes but at some point it happened and now he just looks like he’s trying to be the Fresh Dad of Sherman Oaks by rolling up in a double breasted suit with blue tinted shades.

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Hot damn, what is happening here?! Did one half of her dress get caught in the limo door and she was just like welp, the show must go on?! It’s like Wonderwoman covered by half of a tablecloth. Sex kitten but add a partial modesty drape.

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WHAT YEAR ARE WE IN?! I mean honestly, I took a nap to Sweet Home Alabama yesterday, which essentially means I slept with it on in the background and dreamed about finding the kind of babe soda who wants to marry me so he can smooch me anytime he wants (but I digress) and this dress could’ve been worn at the premiere for that movie in 2002 and I’d be like yup that checks out. I mean really, a pastel colored sash?! That has early 2000’s fashion all over it. And don’t even get me started on whatever pointy wave thing is happening up top on this lame black strapless shift dress. REESE. I know you’re plain Jane but you can do better than this, babe.

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Oh cool a sparkly garbage bag! Hefty chic, bb! I think that tie artfully draped across your arms is actually to close the top of the bag so your trash doesn’t spill out.

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Honestly if I’m being self-aware I might need a time-out after this blog because I truly put Billy on the worst dressed solely because he’s smirking and I grew to hate his character in The Morning Show over the course of this past season (which should have been nominated for 0.0 awards.) Was it fair of me to say someone was dressed poorly just because the character they played was kinda douchey and his smile looks a little snarky? No absolutely not but it’s my blog not yours so HA. Look at that smug ass face. GET LAWST, BILLY.

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I love a daring fashion moment for the men but this sea of polka dots is making me want to ralph up the three pieces of chocolate I just snuffled down.

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Appreciate the enthusiasm but it looks like a bush is growing out of her lady garden.

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Under no circumstances do you need to layer a long sleeve shirt underneath your couture gown. You’re on a red carpet in California, not skiing with your friends and putting hand warmers in your pocket. Get the hell out of my face with this thermal layering. RUINED the dress.

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The dress looks like a cotton number from Old Navy so I definitely don’t want to know what the designer is hawking this for but most importantly, let’s talk hair chunks. My sister and I were out and about this weekend and apparently I wasn’t paying attention as close as I should’ve been and I missed a prime creature of the wild with this chunks in the face hairstyle. Fear not though, my sister was happy to recreate it for me for some late-night giggles. 

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Who knew she was actually red carpet ready. What’re we doing here, folks?! The most ANNOYING thing is having hair in your face and we’re doing it on purpose now? Just leaving chunks down willy nilly and letting it tickle our eyes and block our vision? FOR WHAT? If you’re ok with hair dangling in your face just because it’s “trendy” now, you are a serial killer.

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We don’t talk about this outfit because it’s making Lin look like a real geekburger, which we all know he is not. I don’t know if it’s the boxy fit or the short kinda baggy pants, the contrasting colors or how he’s posing but it’s a no for me, dawg.

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Ah yes, the ever classic twat twist. Why is THAT where they decided to tie the knot in the dress?! Honestly I’m uncomfy even looking at this photo because this dress is essentially lingerie and Vanessa is really werkin those curves. This photo made me blush. Don’t feel like the SAG awards is the event for this type of hoochie coochie.

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This is downright terrifying. I think the red latex and fur were already a little alarming and then she posed claws out with that fierce look. Whatchu plannin to do with those red daggers, homeslice? Are they red because of the blood you’ve drawn already? Don’t answer that.

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I’m speechless at this rhinestone rack. It’s no secret that I’m a real prude when it comes to red carpet fashion and ya know what, some things are just better left to the imagination. I don’t need to know the circumference of your nips based on the bedazzling that covers them.

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This looks like she got dressed in the dark and pulled her sports bra on over her dress. And yet, this design was made on PURPOSE! How funny is fashion. When I was a teenager and had to go to church every Sunday, I chose the 7:30 AM mass because it had no music so it was a real nice drive thru of QT with G-O-D. Thirty minutes quick and dirty. I rolled out of bed, changed into dress pants, left my pajama top on, put a bra over it and then zipped up a coat and never took my coat off in church. Upon my return, I shed the coat, unsnapped the bra, changed my pants and was back tucked into my bed in record time. Why do I tell this story? Really no reason other than to point out that my dirtbag move every Sunday would’ve passed the Fashion Police test, clearly.

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LeeeaaaVeeeeee someeee Thingzzzz to the ImAgInAtiONnNnnn. I guess Alexandra was going for the “either and” approach to top and bottom slits. (Start at 2:23 in the below clip if you want a visual on what that means.)

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Bead tassels! It looks like it’s raining on her crop top separates! Big ole hoops! How fun and so totally classy! I bet it sounds like a rainstick when she teeters around in those teeny tiny heels.

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Remember in Selena when her dad shits a brick because she’s wearing a bedazzled bra onstage? I’m the dad of Selenasssssssss. This is a brassiere. Also is her hair superglued to the middle of her forehead? LMK.

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Obviously I’ve got real time beef with anyone who showed up dressed like a showgirl because FUR heels is reaallllyyyyy pushing it. I get that the SAG Awards are on TNT/TBS and they used to air them on a Saturday night so pretty much no one cares. BUT also, the SAG’s are about the CRAFT of acting. It’s for all the Hollywood nerdbombers to geek out about how hard acting is and how talented they all are. It’s snot city. So for theses ladies to roll through in outfits from Frederick’s of Hollywood it’s like spitting in the face of the craft. Take yourself WAY too seriously or kick rocks at the SAG’s. Show up in these getups for the Globes and that’s obvious.




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Don’t see a lot of pale pink lately and I’m liking the color and the fit of the dress that I’m willing to overlook the GIANT flower accents.

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If I say Maggie looks nice here does that mean she’ll give Taylor Swift her scarf back and stop playing dumb about her brother being the villain of All Too Well? If not, I take it back. I’ll move her to the worst dressed REAL QUICK.

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This is how you crush an “either or” situation. Covered up on the bottom, giving a little peek at the goods on top. Classy all around because it’s a pantsuit. Love the sparkle and respect the fact that she knows how to pull off a pocket pose. Cause I got ONE HAND IN MY POCKET and the other one is waving hi to all the haters.

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No clue who this is but my kneejerk reaction to this look was that it was fun and she was sassin out hoard with that pose. 

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Always a thousand times yes to a charcoal fitted suit on this hunk of man meat.

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As someone who will change the scrunchie on her wrist every time she changes shirts so they coordinate as closely as possible, I very much approve of the patterned hair scarf that syncs up with the pattern on her dress. 

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This is the kind of jacket I’d expect to see at the CMA’s but I love it and he looks spiffy.

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This is a silky animal print combo and yet it doesn’t look like what she wears to bed–see it CAN be done! Faith looks amazing and she knows it.

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Faith way outranked Tim here but you always need a reacher and a settler in a relationship so it’s fine. He doesn’t look BAD, he’s just obviously outkicking his coverage.

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Badass to wear a fishtail braid on a red carpet. I keep saying red carpet but obviously this carpet is like a grey/silver. Let’s overlook this for the sake of my entire blog. Juno is a perfect gold goddess.

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All in for the tie shoulders and the fit of this dress on Sandra even though it gives off some tin foil gum wrapper vibes, I think she’s rocking it.

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I mean it’s Bradley Cooper. He’s always going to wear a plain black tux and look like a handsome devil. Very few fall into this category and I know it’s lazy journalism (lol couldn’t type that with a straight face) to classify the Hollywood OG babes like Bradley, Leo and George as best dressed just because of who they are but it’s not like they look like walking dumpsters, they’re just boring classic guys.

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Michael Keaton’s looking debonair! Almost enough to make up for his incessant need to ramble every time he’s onstage. ALMOST.

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This is the mood we were looking for from Lady Gaga, squad. I wanted an outrageously cocky fashion moment. If you’re gonna star in a movie about a fashion designer/mafia hitman situation, I want you to bring the full drama to the carpet. This is it right here. Shades, velvet bow, the jacket draped on his shoulders. Is that a scrunchie I see on his wrist?! The drama. The intrigue. 

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Ooh baby, Tyler looks suave as hell. This might be my new favorite suit color. A nice solid green.

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Kirsten looks like a spicy tamale in this number and I love this journey for her.

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The silhouette of this dress is stunning and obviously I’m a sucker for the colors. 

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I mean I don’t think Helen Mirren could get any classier if she tried. She looks like she’s going for tea and crumpets at the palace with the Queen right down to her matching mask and clutch. She’s a woman after my own heart with the amount of coordinating she did with her accessories. 

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I know I previously said stop it with the puffs and I did mean that but also Jean does look good in this dress. She’d look even better without the court jester neck ruffle but it’s not a dealbreaker.

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From the clouds, Paul Reiser with a jazzy jacket! Who woulda thunk. Looks sharp AF.

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I love Kieran’s sideways pose here. He looks good and he knows it.

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Talk about Corporate Bros and CE-Hoes’ party! Just kidding. Sorta. She’s really giving off sultry vibes in boardroom chic and another killer pocket pose. I’m here for it!

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Little too much cleavington for me but I can’t drool over a bunch of pantsuits being classy and kewl and then toss Mira on the worst dressed list just because she wanted to pop them disco boobs out for a night on the town. She’s still got it. Her and Lisa proved that no one ages in Hollywood thanks to plastic surgery and made a little Romy and Michele color callback:


They look like a million bucks, as the inventors of Post-its should.

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Cousin Greg is such a tall drink of water and he sure cleans up nice.

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I love this little cotton candy bunny and I’m going to scream it from the rooftops because I don’t care who knows it. 

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A maroon smoking jacket will get me every time.

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I’ve got a real summer boner for these two back to back pops of color. Although I will say that as great as this dress looks, when she won an award she almost fell out of her chair and dragged it up onstage with her because of that puffy butt situation. Sometimes it pays to keep it simple so you can gracefully glide onstage and accept your award without looking like a bull in a china shop.

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Look at her having a dramatic flip my swishy dress for the paps moment. Supes jelly. I wore a tutu on the beach to pop champagne for paying off my student loans and it would’ve been an ideal moment for a swishy blowing in the breeze carefree pic but the wind was blowing in the wrong direction so my hair was in my face and also I was taking my own photos so MUST BE NICE to have cameras snapping away at you looking like a princess.

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I got a serious case of the giggles as I rolled through 134 red carpet photos and THIS was one of them. I mean, was Chef there to cater the event or was he attending as a nominee/presenter? I’m unclear on what his purpose was there but what I AM clear on is that he showed up ready to sauté some mushrooms should he be called upon to do so. I like the readiness here. Clogs, apron and you know what? maybe toss a hairnet over that Sonic head of yours, Chef, I don’t love a hairy meal. Also where is your spatula?

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Was a REAL close call whether this would be the best look of the night because yellows and golds always crush on a red carpet. Love this color on her and the accents of purple complement it perfectly. 

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This is so dorky grandpa and I happen to love it. His trendy frames matching his bowtie is chef’s kiss.

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Marlee is lookin like a straight dime piece and also happened to clean up awards and make a big statement how it’s deaf actors time to shine finally. She had herself a top night and was certainly dressed for it.



Now this is a damn statement. Neon and perfectly fitted princess gown, subtle jewels to let the extravagant dress do the talking, pink lips and soft curls. GET IT, QUEEN.

Pop Culture, Red Carpet

SAG Awards Red Carpet 2018

HEY! We’re back on that usual red carpet grind of multi-colored dresses just in time for the Oscars! Phew. I couldn’t do another red carpet of all black errething regardless of the statement being made. I think the welcoming of color made me a lot more generous with my best dressed tonight. Also props to the nuggets of Hollywood for swaggin out hardcore, forcing me to acknowledge a whole lotta children’s fashion.


24th Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards - Arrivals

What fresh hell is this, Molly Sims? Are you an 80’s bridesmaid?

24th Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards - Red Carpet

WOOF. What is happening here?

24th Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards - Red Carpet

This really doesn’t look bad but I have a bone to pick with velvet from a personal standpoint. Saarryyyy.

24th Annual Screen Actors†Guild Awards - Arrivals

This is fun because it’s like little house on the prairie but with nipple sheer cutouts. Hmmm…

24th Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards - Arrivals

Niecey with those tits out for the boys AND salsa sleeves. Lot happenin up top.

24th Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards - Arrivals

I don’t love these multi-directional stripes.

24th Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards - Arrivals

Alison Williams going for the flapper who hasn’t washed her hair in a week lewk.

24th Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards - Arrivals

I’ll say it once again for the people in the back, CUTOUTS MAKE YOU LOOK FAT, LADIES–EVEN THOUGH YOU’RE ACTUALLY VERY SKINNY.

24th Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards - Red Carpet

I watched an episode of Say Yes to the Dress yesterday that had a particularly over the top crystal wedding gown and this bedazzle on top of her dress is giving me traumatic flashbacks.

24th Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards - Arrivals

This resembles a curtain too much to me.

24th Annual Screen Actors†Guild Awards - Arrivals

Even though this dress is pink and sparkly, that damn tassel ribbon in the middle is giving off some hardcore altar boy uniform vibes.

24th Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards, Arrivals, Los Angeles, USA - 21 Jan 2018

I just don’t understand what these lady fingers dazzling across her torso and bosom are supposed to be.

24th Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards - Arrivals

I’m going against my girl Connie because I’ve seen her look a zillion times better. This isn’t the right dress for her.


24th Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards - Arrivals

This is a pretty daring V but because Laura’s boobs aren’t poking me in the eyeball, it works nicely.

24th Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards - Red Carpet

Don’t get to see a lot of hunter green in the mix and I ‘preash it.

24th Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards - Arrivals


24th Annual Screen Actors†Guild Awards - Arrivals

You KNOW I’m being generous when I’m tossing Nicole on the best dressed. But seriously girl looks good AND she has the flu. So like no excuses for any other red carpet appearance she’s had.

24th Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards, Arrivals, Los Angeles, USA - 21 Jan 2018

I looooove this shade of blue on Manders.

24th Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards, Arrivals, Los Angeles, USA - 21 Jan 2018

Dunno who this is but I want to tuck myself into this skirt and take a nice snoozer.

24th Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards - Arrivals

Leslie Bibb looks like a babe soda also she’s significantly taller than Sam and snaps for her because I have a real complex with towering over my man.

24th Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards - Arrivals

If I were ever allowed near a red carpet you bet your ass I’d wear chucks with my dress.

24th Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards - Red Carpet

Liking this dress caught me off guard because it’s the actual same color as her skin. And yet she still looks beautiful and not like she’s wearing a skinsuit.

24th Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards - Arrivals

Could probably do without the fur lap band but still pretty.

24th Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards - Red Carpet

I wish her hair was down but otherwise the dress looks good. No parrot this time!

24th Annual Screen Actors†Guild Awards - Arrivals


24th Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards - Arrivals

Always love a good crisp white dress.

24th Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards - Arrivals

What a stud with the loafer-hunter green combo deal.

24th Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards - Arrivals

Ya boy Miguel from This is Us from left field!

24th Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards - Arrivals

Of course Sterling is rocking stunna shades.

24th Annual SAG Awards - Arrivals, Los Angeles, USA - 21 Jan 2018

24th Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards - Red Carpet

Mini Kev and Mini Randall from This is Us both poppin in prints!