Music, Playlist

90’s Pop Jamz

It’s been a while since I’ve forced everyone to listen to the best songs of previous decades so here we are again. This time it’s the OBVIOUS pop bangers of the 90’s and early 2000’s focusing on boy bands and girl bands who were the stuff (with the additional bada$$ bitches who were solo.)

1. Bye, Bye, Bye- N*SYNC. I mean obviously this playlist needs to start with the OG of boy bands, the pinnacle, if you will. Though difficult to pick just one N*SYNC classic, this one came with it’s own dance move and therefore has stood the test of time.

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2. Oops!…I Did It Again- Britney Spears. Because back then there wasn’t a Justin without a Britney. The best kind of song is one that starts with what sounds like a car attempting and failing to start and has a break in the middle for a quick Broadway play…Aww, you shouldn’t have. No really Brit, you shouldn’t have. Mid-song talkies are the worst. But this song isn’t.

3. MMMBop- Hanson. Three young boys with floor length blonde locks sing a song that we LITERALLY will never know the words to. Seriously, WHAT ARE THEY ACTUALLY SAYING? Whatever, it’s catchy AF.

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4. Waterfalls- TLC. This song is about people dying of AIDS and drug overdoses and stuff, pretty heavy, but if you use a metaphor about bodies of water to describe it, suddenly it’s a fresh song with a little sax thrown in. If you can master the Left Eye (may she rest in peace) rap in this then I absolutely need to be your friend.

5. Back Here- BBMak. It’s unfortunate that these guys came out around the same time as N*SYNC and BSB cause they pretty much didn’t stand a chance. They also had the hairstyles of a punk rock band so that was strike 2. Good news is they know how to write a killer whiny love song.

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6. Genie In A Bottle- Christina Aguilera. We’ve seen a lot of Christina’s in our lifetime, Dirrty Xtina wearing assless chaps, retro Christina trying to make the 50’s cool and more recently The Voice Christina trying to be a part of the boys club. It’s important for us not to forget that she got her start being suuuuper innocent singing about getting rubbed the right way. Get it, girl!

7. When The Lights Go Out- 5ive. Damn this boy band had a little FLAVA. And I’m not just talking about how clever it was that they literally used the number 5 in their band name. I’m referring to the swagger they had in this song. SECOND VERSE, GIRL-The rapping is on point. They’re bragging about their bedroom skills and I for one couldn’t wait for them to show me what it’s all about. Not so much after this picture though…

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8. No More (Baby I’ma Do Right)- 3LW. If you don’t listen to this song and immediately burst out laughing to “broken promithes, promithes” you don’t like fun things. 3LW may have had a little street cred as a girl band and telling off their deadbeat men, but THAT LISP. Also they really drive the point home in this song by repeating every word, just in case. Fun fact: I saw them open for N*SYNC and they came out in janitor jumpsuits and stripped them off mid song while dancing and it was suuuupes impressive. It obviously didn’t take a lot for me to be dazzled at that age.

9. Give Me Just One Night- 98 Degrees. We’re going to sweep it under the rug that 98 degrees tried to make a comeback with a song about blowies and really relish the good ole days where all they needed was one night (one night) with a girl. Not for nothing but this song was educational in teaching me my first Spanish words.

10. Wannabe- Spice Girls. The Spice Girls created the girl group and also taught us about Brits. I used to reenact scenes from the Spice Girl movie during recess, unfortunately everyone’s favorite was Baby and BECAUSE I WAS BORN WITH BROWN HAIR I had to be Posh or Sporty. Both options suck and so did my British accent but I digress. Here’s another song where I have heard it 1000 times and still don’t know what they’re saying, but I certainly know that Bevin, Peyton Brooke and Haley did a choreographed dance to it on the roof of a house party. PS Scary Spice’s cackle is EXACTLY how she got her name.

11. The Animal Song- Savage Garden. Let’s slow it down now with two baby faces with the falsetto of angels. This song is about how they wish they were animals because then they could run around all carefree. Don’t we all wish that, Savage Garden, don’t we all. Anyway their CD (I’m pretty sure they only have one?) is the best crying soundtrack you could ever ask for. Trust me. Plus: pwetty boys.

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12. S Club Party- S Club 7. Again, here we are with another classssic British band that taught me new things. For example, I learned that hoochie mamas show their nana’s at any good party. For the record, if their show was still on the air I would still be watching it because it was the shit. Unfortunately S Club 7 pretty much fell off the wagon and tried to do a comeback recently that was quite a scene. Jo no longer has the flow, let’s just say that.

13. Summergirls- LFO. LFO was the badass version of boy bands. They mused nonsense about Scooby snacks and Chinese food and we were like yes, please, Rich.

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14. Candy- Mandy Moore. Again, might be hard to recall a time when Mandy was REAL blonde and singing about craving a boy like she craves candy. Suuuch a stupid song but doesn’t make it any less catchy. Love always, Mandy.

15. Liquid Dreams- O-Town. The original Making the Band kicked off reality TV AND gave us a song about wet dreams. Could we really ask for more? It concerns me to report that my sister and I spent a whole summer day on my back deck choregraphing a dance to this song and not once did my mom say hey maybe stop shimmying to a song about boner jams. It was a great dance though.

16. C’est La Vie- B*Witched. It’s pretty much a rule at this point that if you have an asterick in your band name your cool factor is top notch. These chicks are also suuuupes Irish, which pushes their cool factor through the roof. You don’t get too many pop songs that you could literally do an irish jig in the middle to some bag pipes and that’s what makes this song gr8. Plus it starts with “Some people say I look like me dad”…which doesn’t even make sense.

17. Aaron’s Party (Come Get It)- Aaron Carter. I refuse to ever make a 90’s pop playlist without my gangsta AC. Kid was like 4 ft. tall wearing oversized FUBU with white Nikes and apparently knew how to threw a kiiiickin party while his parents catch a matinee. The different characters in this song, the way he’s talking to the honey’s and breakin it down on the living room dance floor instead of being a good host, and his dad grounding him at the end…what a whirlwind of emotions in one song. Was it the party of the month? No. It was the party of the year.

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18. He Loves U Not- Dream. Although I’m pretty sure I never knew anyone’s individual names in Dream, I know that I loved them. They were super sassy. I had(have) their CD and one of their songs was literally them just telling off a guy named Jordan for trying to date them all at once and thinking they wouldn’t find out. THEY FOUND OUT, JORDAN. I made my very first music video (camcorder style) to this song and it was award-winning if I do say so myself. It was supposed to be a dream sequence (get it?) then during the instrumentals we ran around and pulled the letters “D-R-E-A-M” off the wall to show we were going back to real life. Whoa. Copywritten so don’t even try to rip me off, guys.

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Signature Pink Coordinates ❤

19. The Hardest Part of Breaking Up- 2Gether. These clowns were supposed to be a parody of a boy band but their mockery went over our tween idiot heads and we loved them anyway. Also they had a balding 40 year old in the group, casj. AND they rapped about math. WHAT a breakup jam this is though. These bros could get DOWN and they also would like their cat back pls.

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20. I Want It That Way- Backstreet Boys. It seemed like the right thing to do to bookend this playlist with the two rivals and most popular boy bands of the 90’s. Now don’t get me wrong, I was 1000% team N*SYNC, but that never clouded my appreciation for what BSB was doing. Unfortunately a lot of the teens at this time did let it cloud their vision. My dad’s favorite thing to do (his only entertainment really) when he took us to an N*SYNC concert was to ask tweens if this was the BSB concert and just watch their dramats reactions. I would imagine it’s close to going to a 1D concert today and announcing that you can’t wait to see 5 Seconds of Summer? (1D still a touchy subject?) I don’t know. Either way this song gives me all the feels, and I DON’T WANNA HEAR YOU SAAAYYYY it doesn’t.

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Music, Playlist

8th Grade Angst Playlist

Here’s a mix for when you want to remember what it’s like to have so many emotions at once, shout YOU DON’T EVEN UNDERSTAND ME, slam your door and put up a dramatic away message on AIM. Or if you wanna pair one of your dad’s ties with a wife beater, stack on your rubber glitter bracelets from Claire’s and pose like a badass in front of your Beanie Baby collection and Tiger Beat posters.

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Either way, either way’s fine.

1. Dance, Dance- Fall Out Boy. Oh Pete Wentz, you and your guyliner and cool hats and dating Peyton Sawyer long distance…FOB was soooooo cool and the titles of their songs were so BA, i.e. “Our Lawyers Made Us Change The Name of This Song…” that it’s very clear why they made this playlist.

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AIM Buddy Profile Lyric: “Why don’t you show me a little bit of spine, You’ve been saving for his mattress, love” For when the girl whose already wearing thongs stole your boyfriend. SLUT.

2. You’re So Last Summer-Taking Back Sunday. I mean, obviously. There was definitely a time in my life where every single one of these lyrics found a place in an away message or profile of mine, so it’s good to know I was never dramats or anything. (ex: The truth is you could slit my throat and with my one last gasping breath, I’d apologize for bleeding on your shirt.) Yiiikes. Also saw Taking Back Sunday in concert at the NYS fair and it was preeetttyy great. All the feels, live.

AIM Buddy Prof Lyric: “Boys like you are a dime a dozen.” For the boy you’re planning a marriage to who clearly doesn’t like you. WELL YOU KNOW WHAT YOU’RE A DIME A DOZEN. SO HA.

3. Pieces of Me- Ashlee Simpson. Ash was obviously the sister of Christian pop princess, Jessica Simpson…but Ashlee was so mizundastooood and so she dyed her hair black and wore men’s camo pants and converse sneaks. Punk girlz, YEAH. Girl was my idol. I watched her reality show and saw her strain her raspy voice and talk about how she’s been living in Jess’s shadow and I was like YEAH TOTALLY I FEEL YA. And then she dated the preppiest porcupine in California, Ryan Cabrera, and I loved her even more. She holds a special place in my rebellious (read: not rebellious) middle school years that will never be replaced.

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AIM Buddy Prof Lyric: “It’s as if you know me better than I ever knew myself.” First relationship ❤

4. Boulevard of Broken Dreams-Green Day. Green Day gave us our 8th grade graduation song, you know where they sang about everything being unpredictable and having the time of our lives, and we were all like actually we’re 12 and we’re all just going to high school together, soooo.. But anyway, they were badasses who cursed the government and got real hardcore about actual world issues and it all went straight over my head as I used “Wake Me Up When September Ends” as an away message on the first day of school. Seriously, I thought that was so kewl. This song is pretty angsty, aka it fits in perfectly on this mix.

AIM Buddy Prof Lyric: “Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me ‘Til then I walk alone.” When Ashley has a big sleepover and doesn’t invite you.

5. The Middle- Jimmy Eat World. It took me probably my whole life so far to figure out what Jimmy Eat World is singing in this song, but I DO know that they’re saying everything will be alright. So this is for when you’ve listened to the last song and you’re crying about having no friends or something and you need to know that there won’t always be bitches who exclude you from the lunch table.

AIM Buddy Prof Lyric: “Live right now Just be yourself.” Do you, grl.

6. All Hail the Heartbreaker- The Spill Canvas. This song is one of many that is currently making me wonder how I didn’t think half of these bands were a bunch of wieners. Like why are you so whiny about girls not liking you? Little role reversal action, the emo guy who had his heart ripped to shreds is apparently who we all loved in the 8th grade.

AIM Buddy Prof Lyric: “I’ll let you get the best of me, Because there’s nothing else that I do well.” You and Justin broke up…AGAIN.

7. Dirty Little Secret- All American Rejects. The lead singer of this band was a real hottie. I think he did an episode of Room Raiders with Stephen from Laguna and my pre-teen heart exploded. Anyway, all around banger of a song and about a secret love affair, so spicy.

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AIM Buddy Prof Lyric: “I go around a time or two, Just to waste my time with you.” This lyric is just ambiguous enough that it also could apply to a BFF, because what did you do with your BFF in middle school that WASN’T wasting time?

8. Middle of Nowhere-Hot Hot Heat. Peyton Sawyer liked this song and she was so hardcore punk rock and wore converses and stuff so you know it’s a great one. Plus it was on her Friends with Benefit CD for her dying mom. Nuff said.

AIM Buddy Prof Lyric: “She said, “Maybe there’s a bit of me waiting for a bit of you. baby.” I absolutely used this in my profile. Just waiting for my pre-teen prince, duh.

9. Helena-My Chemical Romance. This band has a scary name and a lead singer that’s pretty terrifying because he really subscribed to the white face, dark makeup, dark greasy hair thing. Yet for whatever reason, I loved the shit out of them in my younger years. This was one of my favorites and I distinctly remember the music video because a dead girl gets out of the coffin and starts doing ballet at her own funeral. No biggie.

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AIM Prof Lyric: “And what’s the worst to take, From every heart you break.” This is the least creepy lyric in this song, you’re welcome.

10. Space- Something Corporate. My obsession with SoCo might’ve started in middle school, but my love affair with lead singer Andrew McMahon continues today because I see him in concert 1-2 times a year. He’s the stuff. That man knows how to wail on a piano. What I REALLY wanted to do was put Konstantine on here because it’s probably the greatest song ever made (bold statement, whatever) but it’s definitely not a casual song to throw into a mix, you’ve gotta be ready for all the Konfusion. This song is definitely more fitting and still great, because all of his songs are great, duh. Ok I’ll stop slobbering all over him now. Actually, I won’t because this happened this summer and I’m still not over it:

AIM Buddy Prof Lyric: Side note-not his best song for lyrics unfortunately…”and you say, that you can, when you know that you won’t.”

11. Hands Down-Dashboard Confessional. Ah how we all imagined our first kiss would be, gazing at the stars in the grass with a guy whose probably wearing skinny jeans but is like reeeallyyy into you. Did anyone have one of those? Pls advise. Dashboard was so romants and dramats all at once with this number but I wouldn’t have it any other way. Seriously, girl…kiss him before he dies.

AIM Buddy Prof Lyric: “My heart is yours to fill or burst, to break or bury, or wear as jewelery, which ever you prefer.” The I’m obsessed with you portion of your prof. Usually accompanied by some initials.

12. Best of Me- The Starting Line. Long distance love + being young foreva=the perfect song to mosh to. Who knew?

AIM Buddy Prof Lyric: “we got older but we’re still young, we never grew out of this feeling that we wont give up.” Class of ’09 GTS GMS LOLOLOL You know WHO YOU ARE!!

13. Pretty Girl (The Way)- Sugarcult. I’m like 98% sure this song was used in Laguna Beach when Stephen decided for the millionth time that he didn’t want LC as a side piece anymore and was with Kristin rubbing it in her face. So you should probably think about that when you listen to it, but also think about how LC is a bo$$ now so there’s hope for us all.

AIM Buddy Prof Lyric: “and that’s what you get for falling again; you can never get him out of your head.” Damn you, STEEEEvehhhnnn.

14. Hallelujah- Paramore. Hayley Williams is the poster child of punk rock princess, sorry Ashlee, but the girl has bright orange hair so she wins. She’s been shouting about stuff forever, and the best part is that she’s still releasing new stuff and it’s getting air time on pop radio, so she’s pretty much made 8th grade jams mainstream. Respect.

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AIM Prof Lyric: “Let’s make it last forever.” SUMMER VACATION, at the pool with mah betchez.

15. Okay I Believe You But My Tommy Gun Don’t-Brand New. This band was probably the closest I ever got to the scream-o genre and I think it was a good line to draw. I don’t love when a man screeches into a microphone, luckily it’s a quick one in this song. Otherwise they had dirty lyrics that I knew I shouldn’t be listening to and it made them that much cooler. Also this title is pretty terrifying. So there’s that.

AIM Prof Lyric: “Hope you come down with something they can’t diagnose, Don’t have the cure for.” So aggress-for the girl in the gym locker room who told everyone you don’t wear deodorant.

16. What’s My Age Again-Blink 182. Totes one of those songs that is hilarious and fun when you’re 13 and think that 23 is SUUUUUPER far away. Except now that I’m 23 this song sucks. Nonetheless, it’s a great Blink song and is pretty much the epitome of their inapprops lyrics. It was real rebellious of me to be listening to them back in the day.

AIM Buddy Prof Lyric: “I never wanna act my age, What’s my age again?” Realistically I would never use any of these lyrics in my prof in case my parents ever found it and took away AIM from me (once was traumatizing enough.)

17. Addicted-Simple Plan. This band was the poster child of whiny the world is against me lyrics. They sang about feeling left out and abused and unloved and it was great at the time because obviously growing up a privileged white girl it’s like they totally read my mind…but now that I look back I couldn’t in good conscious put one of their depressing songs on this playlist. So I chose this one because even though it’s still everybody hates me and leaves me…it has a play on words with “dick” and that’s entertaining to me. Good work, Pierre. Seriously though Pierre was cute as shit, and a French Canadian…bilingual, so hot.

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AIM Buddy Prof Lyric: “I don’t know why I’m still waiting, I can’t make you mine.” For the boy who didn’t want to sign your yearbook.

18. The Anthem- Good Charlotte. Ahhh, GC and the punk rock Madden bros. Did you ever think back then that these two would be tamed by Nicole Richie and Cameron Diaz? Plot twist. This song is about not being held down, but like obviously they really scaled it back since then. At least I hope they did because they bitched about rich and famous people and well…you pretty much married into that, boys.

AIM Buddy Prof Lyric: “It’s a new day, but it all feels old.” Ugh, school AGAIN?!

19. Be My Escape- Relient K. These guys may have been punk but they used some pretty large vocab in their lyrics so I think we can all agree they were also educational. Case in point, they used the word complacency in this song. My 13-year-old brain totes had to look that up. Anyway, this one is another needy love song that gave words to all the feels I had for the guy whose locker was near mine and I was probably obsessed with. Aaand now that I’m reading the lyrics this song was about God, so that changes things a beat. Whatever. It’s still a banger.

AIM Prof Lyric: “But the beauty of grace is that it makes life not fair.” LIFE IS SO UNFAIR.

20. Ocean Avenue-Yellowcard. I shipped Yellowcard REAL hard. Like hard enough to have their concert on DVD and watch it so many times that when it finally was lost or stolen (DOES ANYONE HAVE IT?) I was real affected by it. My dad watched it with me once and saw how halfway through the show they told the crowd to separate down the middle and then run to the other side as hard and fast as they could. Den thought that was a little TOO intense for his 13 year old daughter and therefore wouldn’t let me go to an actual concert of theirs. LAME. They DID say if someone fell to pick them up but WHATEVER. Anyway, I stand by my love for these guys, who else has a violinist in a punk band? It’s cool as shit. Supes cultured. (He used to do back flips off the piano mid-concert too…HARDCORE PARKOUR.)

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AIM Buddy Prof Lyric: “We’re looking up at the same night sky, And keep pretending the sun will not rise, Be together for one more night, Somewhere, somehow.” Star crossed lovers, from different middle schools.

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Music, Playlist

One Hit Wonders Playlist

Everyone who knows me also knows that I have a weird obsession with the 90’s. Their music, dramatic teen soaps and cheesetastic movies are where it’s at and I still find a way to work them into my regular conversation. So it was fitting that my next playlist be a 90’s throwback. Have you ever watched one of those VH1 specials and thought hey I love all of those songs? Well that’s pretty much how I made this playlist. I checked out all the one hit wonder alt hits of the entire decade and put this jam fest together for your ears. Some of them are multi-hit wonders but who cares; it’s a bunch of good songs that make you want to wear flannel and get grungy. Hope you enjoy! (Reading my blabfest for each song=optional of course.)

1. Semi-Charmed Life-Third Eye Blind Here’s a classic 3EB song that everyone thought was fun and upbeat and when you listen to the lyrics it’s actually about being addicted to crystal meth. NBD but HBD. Fun/Possibly Really Embarrassing Fact: I’ve seen Third Eye Blind in concert not once…but twice. I paid both times too so who’s the real sucker here? Great concert for drunken college kids who just want to get their feels out and mosh, might I add. However, the lead singer took it a little more seriously than that and had an interlude mid-jam to talk about how much he loves performing and going onstage and traveling the word. Yeah, yeah bro, you’re on a makeshift stage in front of a river and your entire crowd is 18-20 year olds who did shots before this and are all about to boot, let’s get back to Jumper now, shall we?

Best Lyric: “With a tick-tock rhythm and a bump for the drop, And then I bumped up, I took the hit I was given, Then I bumped again, and then I bumped again” YA DRUGZ. Slash pretty much all of the lyrics are the best because this song is catchy AF.

2. Freshmen-The Verve Pipe Is this song REALLY depressing? Yeah, pretty much. But it’s also the epitome of the 90’s alternative vibe and it would be criminal to not include it on this playlist. Heavy drug references and also pretty sure they’re singing about someone dying but hey…we were only freshman so no blamesies.

Best Lyric: “Stopped a baby’s breath and a shoe full of rice, no” WHAT does this mean. So mysterious and edgy with rice shoes.

3. I’m Gonna Be (500 Miles)-The Proclaimers LOVE SONG OF THE CENTURY, amirite? This guy’s like hey I’m determined to be yours so I’m gonna sing about it. I can totes get down with that. Also this song had a resurgence in How I Met Your Mother–for all fans (pre-series finale from hell) you’ll recall this was the song that was stuck in Ted’s old car cassette player and sound tracked all of Ted and Marshall’s college adventures. Ah, the good ole days.

Best Lyric: “And when the money comes in for the work I do, I’ll pass almost every penny on to you.” GIMME ALL YOUR MONEY. Just kidding, the Proclaimers probably shouldn’t have offered that up so freely.

4. Barely Breathing-Duncan Sheik Duncan is heartbroken, guys. I’m suspecting he got cheated on because he’s being really dramats and saying he can barely breathe now that she’s gone. I’m fine with him being whiny about getting dumped hard though because he’s all sensitive and cute and it’s a good song for when you just need to let out your feels.

Best Lyric: “It must have been that yesterday was the day that I was born” The hipster songwriter way of saying “I wasn’t born yesterday” is sooo much cooler.

5. No Rain-Blind Melon This is a great song to make a funny voice and sing along to because this guy already kind of has a funny voice to begin with. Seriously, try it. So I guess I didn’t realize there’s like 10 lyrics that they just repeat over and over again until I looked it up. It’s kind of a cute love song though, bro just wants someone to hang out with and watch the rain and stuff.

Best Lyric: “So stay with me and I’ll have it made” D’awwwwww.

6. Counting Blue Cars-Dishwalla This song is kind of weird. But you know what, equal opportunity. I love it cause it’s a nice think about the world and religion jam. Why is a song called counting blue cars provoking me to think about religion? Well that would be due to the fact that they refer to God as a woman. Is God a woman? This little kid seems to think so. THINK ABOUT IT while you count dem cars.

Best Lyric: “We said, “Tell me all your thoughts on God, ‘Cause I would really like to meet her, and ask her why we’re who we are.” WHO ARE WE? WHO IS GOD? Deep, bruh.

7. Hold My Hand- Hootie & The Blowfish I decided to throw you for a loop and choose the not so obvious Hootie hit. Yes, I understand that Hootie technically were never one hit wonders and they hung around for a while but it’s not a 90’s alt playlist without them, so just let it happen. Plus now that Darius is 100% country, I’ll do anything to erase his remake of Wagon Wheel from my memory. 90’s Hootie doesn’t wear a cowboy hat; he literally just wants to hold my hand. I love a good handholding, especially coups style, so by all means Hootie, grab on.

Best Lyric: “Yesterday, I saw you standing there, your head was down, your eyes were red, No comb had touched your hair.” What a nice way to describe a girl’s dirty hair. He still wants to hold paws even though she clearly hasn’t showered.

8. Save Tonight- Eagle Eye Cherry The song that occupied many a graduation and goodbye mixes. It’s the official YOLO of the 90’s. You only have one night left together so live it up! Interesting fact that I learned from one of the Barstool bloggers on twitter is that Eagle Eye Cherry is legitimately the musician’s name, not a band name. I didn’t really fact check that, so don’t hold me to it. I basically just read something on Twitter and repeat it as fact on a fairly regular basis so you should all probably be concerned.

Best Lyric: “So take this wine and drink with me, and let’s delay our misery.” Wine is def the stuff for delaying misery, until you wake up the next morning with a wine hangover, which is the real pits.

9. You Get What You Give-New Radicals Such a feel good song from the New Radicals as they preach to keep on keepin on. This song is filled to the brim of AIM profile lyrics (aka I definitely at one point had “You’ll be ok, follow your heart <3” in my jujubean8731 aim prof. NO SHAME.) While they’re being totes inspirational they also find time to tell celebs that they hate how rich they are and will kick their ass in. Classic.

Best Lyric: “You’re all fakes, Run to your mansions, Come around, We’ll kick your ass in.” No really. RUN. These guys have big feet.

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10. Bittersweet Symphony-The Verve This one is actually depressing AF but because it’s set to some nice classical violin beats it suddenly tricks you into thinking you like adult music and you forget that they’re singing about how life is just about getting money and dying.

Best Lyric: “But I’m a million different people from one day to the next.” Multiple Personality Disorder in a nutshell.

11. She’s So High-Tal Bachman What kind of a name is Tal? Who knows, but he must be a real catch because he wrote a whole song about how this girl is basically a goddess. If I had a quarter for every time a guy was so swept away by my beauty and grace that he wrote a song all about it, I would still not have enough quarters for a load of laundry in Boston. Seriously, you guys got any spares? Anyway, Tal thinks he’s a piece of dog shit compared to this girl and I would like to see pics because this seems a little extreme.

Best Lyric: “First class and fancy free, She’s high society.” It’s no secret how much I love the term fancy-free and he rhymed it with high society. WHAT a guy.

12. Two Princes-Spin Doctors This is hands down the original Rude! by Magic. Except guess what? It’s been 10+ years since it came out and I don’t want to pull my hair out of my head when I hear it. I welcome this song, whereas after one month of Rude being on the radio I wanted to stomp on over to wherever Magic was probably meditating near incense and tell him to shut the hell up. Anyway, the Spin Doctors were like hey we’re kind of just regular guys and your dad will probably hate us but I’ve got bedroom skills and I’ll love you like nobody’s biz. Yes, please.

Best Lyric: “You marry him, your father will condone you (How ’bout that now) You marry me, your father will disown you (He’ll eat his hat, now)” Let your dad eat his hat, girl!

13. Breakfast at Tiffany’s-Deep Blue Something I can’t lie to you guys. I’ve never seen Breakfast at Tiffany’s. I get that it’s a classic and Audrey Hepburn, blah blah blah, I hate black and white movies. Whoops secret’s out. Even though I’ve never seen the movie, I still have enough sense to know it’s cute as shit that these guys are using it to pick up chicks. We both like Breakfast at Tiffany’s? BOOM. Let’s hang. Unfortunately it doesn’t work out for the best, but hey they tried.

Best Lyric: “You’ll say the world has come between us, Our lives have come between us, Still I know you just don’t care.” So dramatic. The WORLD has come between us. Settle down and watch the movie with him.

14. Steal My Sunshine-Len Here’s another one of those, hey this song is kind of quirky and ohhh wait it’s about doing drugs. Got it. Just kidding I really don’t, I just think it’s catchy. I will never ever know the lyrics to it and I’m kind of ok with it because they’re suuuuper weird. At least this chick can still spell “later” while she’s high. Don’t ever try to steal someone’s sunshine (CODE: DRUGS) though because I’m guessing that shit would get real dicey.

Best Lyric: “My sticky paws were in to making straws out of big fat slurpy treats.” HAHA sticky paws.

15. How Bizarre-OMC I mean the title of this song pretty much sums it up best. It’s real bizarre and I can only assume as a pure and innocent girl that it’s also about drugs as was clearly the trend here. Please let me know if you have some insight. Either way it’s a head bopper and I’m pretty sure it was in the award-winning flick The Parent Trap camping scene so that just makes it more esteemed.

Best Lyric: “Elephants and acrobats, Lions next monkey, Pele speaks righteous, Sister Seena says funk.” Um. Drugs, right?

16. Fly-Sugar Ray. Again, Sugar Ray definitely had more than one hit, but Mark McGrath just had a big death hoax so we’re going to cut him a break here as he comes back from the dead. Sugar Ray was so 90’s it hurts. Mark and that soul patch did things for a lot of ladies. He was also clearly pretty cocky if he thought statues crumbled for him but whatevs.

Best Lyric: “Love can make you hostage wanna do it again.” SO romantic. Hostages.

17. If You Could Only See-Tonic This is a real angsty song that I included for those days when you just want to whine it out. This guy is wah-wahing about how much this girl loves him and justifying why he’s being with her or something. He obviously never recovered/pulled it together because we basically never heard from Tonic again but this is a nice slow jam for your dramatic times alone.

Best Lyric: “Seems the road less traveled, Show’s happiness unraveled, And you got to take a little dirt, To keep what you love.” YEAH. Be a man and rub some dirt in it.

18. The Impression That I Get- Mighty, Mighty Bosstones What a zesty song. Yes I used the word zesty and I wasn’t referring to salad dressing. I was referring to a couple of guys wearing suits and ripping on the sax. Also mad props for a cool band name. Too bad they didn’t get anywhere with it. This song is about never knocking on wood so I guess these two zoot suits have been pretty darn lucky or something.

Best Lyric: “Have you ever been close to tragedy? Or been close to folks who have? Have you ever felt the pain so powerful, so heavy you collapse?” Starting off the song with 21 questions, interesting style here.

19. Closing Time-Semisonic Ah, the classic GET THE HELL OUTTA THE BAR song. Except what’s even worse is that they used to play this at our middle school dances to tell us to get outta the gym. Um, we don’t need any prompting there, guys, we have a strict curfew and our moms are waiting in the parking lot to pick us up. Anyway, another mix-up, this song was actually written about the lead singer having kids and how much his life was going to BLOW once they popped out. Kind of gives you a little perspective, huh? Take someone home from the bar STAT or you’ll waste your fun years and have to go home to your kids and wife instead so HA.

Best Lyric: “Every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end” I mean obviously. Like yearbook quote of the century. Mind blown.

20. Tubthumping-Chumbawamba Obviously couldn’t end the mix on a downer. This song is REAL weird but that’s what makes it so great. These Swedes are singing about drinking and Danny boy and who knows what else. You know what I learned though? It’s a great song to put on when you’re dragging while getting ready to hit the town and need to be re-energized. Cause you’ll get up again and you won’t want to be kept down. TIME TO RAGE.

Best Lyric: “Pissing the night away”-Totally a phrase that foreigners sound classy saying but ‘Muricans just sound like trash monsters.

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Music, Playlist

#TBT- High School Dance Playlist

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I’d like to bring us all back to a magical time when the girls were taller than the boys, the hip hop was full of dirty references that sailed over our heads and grinding at a school dance was prohibited, but we did it anyway. Ah yes, the fast and loose days of middle school/high school dances, where boys become squeakier awkward boys who are unsure of hand placement and girls become rap video hoes. Here’s a playlist of the best high school dance jams of the mid-2000’s that we can now listen to while we drink alcohol, legally.

DISCLAIMER: NSFW, Includes inapprops songs & lyrics

Fun fact: My high school made national news for our “lewd and suggestive dancing” AKA grinding while I was there and it got to the point where they distributed bracelets at dances and after three strikes of getting caught writhing your bodies together, bracelets were snipped and teens were tossed. Keep that in mind as you listen to this playlist. (Also fellow FM’ers relive the article here.)

1. Golddigger-Kanye West Ft. Jamie Foxx. Hey remember when Kanye was young and unknown and had that cute little chubby face and adorbs smile? WHUT HAPPENED. This song is a classic hate on yo bitches song. She pops out a few kids and now she’s getting a weekly check from her baby daddy? UH UH, HONEY.

Best Lyric: She was supposed to buy your shorty TYCO with your money
She went to the doctor got lypo with your money
She walking around looking like Michael with your money
(MAY HE R.I.P)
Should’ve got that insured got GEICO for your money, money, money

2. Shake Ya Tailfeather-Nelly Ft. Murphy Lee & P. Diddy. The only time I would hear cop sirens at a dance is when this beat started spinning. Nelly and the Bad Boyz told me to shake my ass around in a nice bird comparison and suddenly it was classy and cool instead of inapprops. When they rapped about collecting so much grass Popo thinking they mow lawns, I actually thought they were in the landscaping biz. I wisened up around sophomore year.

Best Lyric: Is that your ass or your momma have reindeer? I STILL DON’T KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS.

3. Promiscuous- Nelly Furtado Ft. Timbaland. No shame, this song is still 100% my jam. My gurl Nelly going from singing folk songs about being like a bird to telling Timbaland to listen up if he wants to get laid and I respect the hell outta her hustle.

Best Lyric:  I’m out of this world come with me to my planet. Get you on my level do you think that you can handle it? No Nelly, no I cannot.

4. Lean Back- Fat Joe. JOE CRACK THE DON UH. This song was one of the first that created a dance that white chicks looked real stupid doing. Please picture a group of 12 year olds standing in a circle wearing the same ribbed tanks and flared jeans all simultaneously leaning back. That’s hood right there.

Best Lyric: Listen we don’t pay admission, And bouncers don’t check us, And we walk around the metal detectors. And there really ain’t no need for a VIP section in the middle of the dance floor, Reckless, check it, said it?! That’s totally how me and my bitches would roll at the dances too, VIP for days.

5. London Bridge (Oh Shit)- Fergie. Fergie Ferg split from the Black Eyed Peas and set out to show everyone she’s still a baddddd bitchhh. She has a real knack for taking a precious children’s song and making it into a slutty anthem about dropping dem drawers. Confession time, I went to a Black Eyed Peas concert (free tix) at the same time that Fergz released this song and saw her perform it live and writhe around on stage and it was SO WORTH IT.

Best Lyric: That Grey Goose got your girl feelin loose. Now Im wishin that I didn’t wear these shoes. Story of my life, amirite ladies?

6. Mesmerize- Ja Rule Ft. Ashanti. I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again, I would like to live in a world where Ja & Ashanti still churn out back to back fire hip-hop jams with disgusting sexual innuendos. These two were a dynamic duo and unfortunately Ja Rule had to go and get himself locked up and that pretty much ceased all MTV hip hop jams. I understand that this is more of a slow jam, but I could not in good conscience make a throwback mix without these two musical geniuses. I mean, they recreated Grease for their music video…THAT body suit.

jaruleashanti

Best Lyric: Now you street promotin the dick game is potent Cause in the bed a n**** go hard like Jordan. Ja certainly didn’t have confidence issues in the bedroom. Runner Up: I’ve got a fetish for f****ing you with your skirt on. Yes.

7. Tipsy- J-Kwon. I sincerely apologize that this isn’t the version that starts out with our boy J-Kwon lecturing that teen drinking is very bad before he declares he has a fake ID though. What a BAMF. Was this the song that started the phase of saying Errebody instead of Everybody? I hope so. Do I still use it every once and a while? Yes I do. Sue me. This is the first song (but certainly not the last) I added to this playlist where I read the lyrics and was shocked at how disgusting they were because I clearly didn’t know them in middle school.

Best Lyric: Dude I don’t care I’m a P.I.M.P. Seriously another thing I still say. I think the moral of the story here is that I need new material.

8. Hollaback Girl- Gwen Stefani. Punk rock girl goes rapper/badass?! Sign me up. It married my love for emo punk music and my love for spelling the word bananas. I distinctly remember this song being released before the 8th grade trip to Cleveland and the few lucky ones that had the very first iPod loaded that shit up for the bus ride there. There was a lot of headphone sharing and lapsitting (13 year old hormones) and they probably also played it on our shitty 8th grade dance cruise on some body of water in Ohio. What a killer trip.

Best Lyric: OBVIOUSLY Let me hear you say this shit is bananas B-A-N-A-N-A-S.

9. Milkshake-Kelis. Ah the best kind of hip-hop song is about food with sexual meanings. I grew up thinking a milkshake was a nice cold beverage usually with chocolate flavor. Kelis stomped that out of my brain real quick with this song. Milkshake is now the goods, and it BRINGS DEM BOYZ. My mom recently got this song title during Christmas game night as a song that she had to hum and get us to guess…there was drinking involved and she just kept shouting GIRLS ALL AROUND to the tune of Milkshake and no one guessed it. Apparently we have very different memories of this song. Regardless my point being that even moms can get down with this sick beat.

Best Lyric: La la-la la la, Warm it up. Lala-lalala, The boys are waiting (Not a lot of substance here, Kelis.)

10. Hey Ya-Outkast. Ah another cool song that created a movement of white girls trying to learn a music video dance move. The “Shake it like a Polaroid picture” spastic motion. It was COOL, guys. No but actually Outkast WAS awesome. They could sing the stupidest lyrics and it would be legit. (Ex: Roses really smell like poo.) Anyway they made talking in a song sound smooth even though I hate it in every other song. I’ve never wanted to lend sugar to my neighbor more.

Best Lyric: Don’t want to meet your momma, just want to make you cum-a. Seriously, moms and cumming in the same sentence, Bravo sir, Bravo.

11. Yeah!- Usher Ft. Lil Jon & Ludacris. This song was a straight up dance staple. I think they played it at every dance I went to from 7th grade to 12th grade and if they ever play it in a bar I’m in it’s a surefire way to get me to do the Q-tip. Just kidding, I dance better than that. Sort of. I’m pretty proud of this song because it was the first one where I memorized an entire rapper’s cameo word for word. Luda was my boy and mostly because he rapped slow enough and enunciated so that I could keep up. He was the Drake while Drake was still Jimmy in a wheelchair at Degrassi High. That said, his entire verse in this song is still the best thing I’ve ever heard. He wins best lyric, but if I have to pick just one…

Best (Most repeatable) Lyric: We want a lady in the street but a freak in the bed. Life goals.

12. We Be Burnin- Sean Paul. Mostly put this on so that I can remind everyone of this Jamaican accented man who put out the same song over and over and everyone still loved it so hard. He also referred to himself as Sean dah Paul. Not sure why. I learned a lot while looking through these lyrics, mostly that Sean dah Paul did not speak a lick of English. I pulled the one lyric that made the most sense to me…and that’s saying a lot.

Best Lyric: Cause the girls we be poking have to smoking. Note: Sean ain’t gonna poke ya unless you smoke, LADieZZ.

13. Overnight Celebrity-Twista. You know how Jason DeRulo claimed that he could make me famous on Instagram last year in “Wiggle”? I hate to break it to ya Jason, but Twista was the original talent scout. He didn’t have Instagram yet, but he could put you on the Soul Train Awards. Boom Roasted. Game over with me ever trying to rap along with this song. Seriously I think Twista is the fastest rapper ever. So much street cred though. Bonus points for the chick who sounds like a pterodactyl climaxing mid-song.

Best Lyric: Girl I see you, in them apple bottom jeans, Chinchilla on your back, I wanna know your name. YES. Apple. Bottom. Jeans. Wait Chinchilla? Ew.

14. Get Low- Lil Jon & The East Side Boyz. You always know it’s going to be a legit song when you’re dealing with Boyz with a Z. This song came on and all the horny and dirty little teenagers rubbed their hands together and got ready to scream “TIL THE SWEAT DRIPS DOWN MY BALLS” at the top of their lungs when the pre-approved Melvin of a DJ inevitably played the clean, over-edited version. I’m pretty sure the principal threatened to cut the song completely one night because we wouldn’t stop screaming about sweaty balls and skeet skeeting. I thank Lil Jon every day for that. I’m pretty sure this is where Jersey turnpiking also started.

Best Lyric: Lil Jon and the East side boys wit me and we all like to see ass and titties. Classic T&A. Also if we’re being honest this whole song is a best lyric. WHO comes up with that chorus?!

15. 1,2 Step-Ciara. Luckily for me I have a friend named Sierra and this song has NEVER died out. If your friendship blossoms around a time when your friend’s name is in a cool song that’s something you milk for the rest of their life. I don’t think she once entered a room in middle school without someone singing, “The Princess is here—–CIIIARRRRRAAAA.” Not a bad greeting, if you ask me. Missy Elliott may have helped out on this song but Ciara handled herself pretty well for a fresh chick to the scene. Also I just noticed this is probably the cleanest song on this playlist. You’re welcome, Adults.

Best Lyric: I eat fillet mignon, And I’m nice and young, Best believe I’m number one. Anyone who rhymes Filet Mignon wins all the awards. I miss Missy.

16. Hot in Herre- Nelly. NELLY and his DAMN piece of tape/bandaid under his eye. What a goon. I’m pretty sure most girls would dance to this by actually stripping off their zip up hoodie, so parents please feel comforted in the fact that your young daughters learned how to strip before they learned how to drive. It’s Nelly’s fault really. He condoned taking your clothes off when the temps rise. And boy did those gyms get WARM. (Side note: I had a real moral dilemma choosing between this song and Flap Your Wings because it was equally as defining a moment when Nelly taught us how to drop down and get our eagle on.)

Best Lyric: So take it off like your home alone, You know dance in front your mirror while your on the phone, Checkin your reflection and tellin your best friend, like “girl I think my butt gettin big” (To be clear I’ve never stared at myself naked while I’m on the phone with my friends.)

17. Lady Marmalade- Christina Aguilera, Pink, Mya, Lil Kim. Here’s the long overdue lady jam of the playlist. A bunch of divas get together and sing about getting banged in French, Moulin Rouge, style. Apparently they all hated each other but I don’t care because they tolerated each other long enough to make this song that I can wail along to with my Xtina hands in full motion. Also this is another great song that taught young girls how to act like prostitutes. Don’t get your panties all in a bunch though, adults because let’s all remember that today’s youth is listening to Nicki Minaj rap about her ladybits innaprops style while shaking her butthole on MTV. Jus sayin. We were golden compared to that.

Best Lyric: We drink wine with diamonds in the glass by the case the meaning of expensive taste. YEAH girls who get mistaken for whores drinking WINE=CLASSY.

18. In Da Club- 50 Cent. TECHNICALLY Candy Shop was more the time period of school dances for me, but In Da Club is 5000x better and will always be a classic, hope you’re cool with me picking it instead of licking 50’s lollipop. 50 Cent came out of no where and all anyone knew about him was that he got shot 9 times. What an air of mystery he had. This music video consists of him doing sit-ups upside down and bullet wounds or not, bro’s got like an 18-pack. Anyway, this one glorious song opened the door for dorky dads to say “Go shorty, it’s your birthday” for the rest of time.

Best Lyric: Been hit wit a few shells but I don’t walk wit a limp.- A few? NINE.

19. Don’t Cha- Pussycat Dolls Ft. Busta Rhymes. Ah, I bet you thought you would snake on through this playlist without PCD, but I HAD to. Yeah they’re a bunch of glorified strippers who were put together as a girl group with one actual talented singer, but THEY WERE THE VOICES OF OUR GENERATION. Just kidding. They popped out good dance jams and were obviously feminists. (Ex: Don’t cha wish your girlfriend was a freak like me?) True life, I never wanted anything more than I wanted a PCD hoodie with the cool words written over the top of the hood.

Best Lyric: Tryna put it on me till my balls black an blueish. Hey Busta, let’s cool it with the visuals for a second.

20. My Love- Justin Timberlake Ft. T.I. AHHHHHHH JT

Best Lyric: (Trust me) You don’t really wanna let the chance go by ’cause you ain’t been seen wit a man so fly. TRUTH. Who turns down JT? There is no flyer man.

Whether you listen to this playlist while you’re boozin or running, never forget that you once gyrated to each song in a dark gym or cafeteria with lame streamers hanging from the walls and the smell of sweaty teens wafting through the air. You’re welcome.

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Music, Playlist

The ULTIMATE Pop Christmas Playlist

It’s now the acceptable time of year when you start jamming to your Christmas playlists even though the stores have been playing them since Halloween. I’m sure everyone has a go-to Christmas jam, and this playlist is just here to enlighten you to the best pop holiday tunes of all time (according to me, obv.) I haven’t changed my Christmas lineup in roughly ever because the 90’s crushed holiday CD’s so please indulge and share in this guilty pleasure with me. For the record, this is not the place to go for Christmas classics, if you’re looking for Bing Crosby please see yourself to another blog.

  1. All I Want For Christmas Is You-Mariah Carey. If your Christmas CD/mixtape/playlist doesn’t always and forever start with this song then you don’t know the real meaning of Christmas. This song IS Christmas. Every year it kicks off the holidays and I would go so far as to say it’s Mariah Carey’s claim to fame. Forget all that other nonsense, this song can only be sung by Mariah Carey and it will always put me in a fabulous holiday mood.
  2. What Christmas Means to Me-Hanson. Some of you may be shocked by this addition, and will be even more shocked when you see that I doubled up on the Hanson. Well guess what? Hanson’s Christmas album was THE SHIT. Those little pre-pubescent boys with flowing, luscious locks knew how to rock some Santa jams. Listen to this and you’ll immediately start clapping by yourself while drinking some adult hot chocolate (trust me, it’ll make you looser for the clapping part).
  3. Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays-N*SYNC. If Hanson’s Christmas CD was great, N*SYNC’s was even better. I don’t know what happened between now and the 90’s that made every artist stop doing Christmas CD’s but clearly that’s where the money’s at. This song was made doubly famous by having the song and music video featured in the 90’s Christmas classic, “I’ll Be Home For Christmas” starring the one and only JTT alongside Jessica Biel before she married Justin Timberlake or whatever (dream crusher). I wonder if they met while promoting this movie? Did I just break 15 year old celeb news? Probably. Anyway I recommend adding that movie to your holiday binge cycle, head’s up though there’s a little bit of profanity. Jessica Biel calls JTT a butthole and my mom got REAL ticked with my sister and I for watching such inappropriate content. (True story.) PS Gary Coleman in a green shiny raincoat suit in the music video? Yes please.
  4. The Christmas Song-Michael Buble. This actually is a classic, but even though Bubbles is a real classy guy, he’s not in the rat pack or anything so this is a pop modern version as far as I’m concerned. For realz though, Bub’s voice is like butter. He could serenade me foreva.
  5. Jingle Bell Rock-Aly&AJ. Remember these two Disney goons? One of them continued to be in the spotlight and one didn’t. Don’t ever ask me which is which. They look nothing alike but they ARE Aly&AJ and so as one they will forever be ingrained in my memory. As far as Disney beats go, this is actually not as embarrassing as some others I will include for your listening pleasure. Also these two spunksters end the song with “How’s that for a Christmas song?” THE SASS. THE TUDE. Did Mickey approve this?
  6. I Won’t Be Home for Christmas-Blink 182. The obligatory badass anti-Christmas jam. In my rebellious punk-rock days when I forced my sister to take pictures of me wearing a wife beater and a tie with my tongue hanging out, yeah I was real hard, I got into listening to some HARDCORE pop punk like Blink. It was angsty of me to love a Christmas song that was so inapprops, plus how do you not giggle when he sings about someone in jail unwrapping his package? I also added this song to give me more street cred when you inevitably hate me for the 2 radio Disney songs that are coming up.
  7. A Dream Is A Wish Your Heart Makes-Various Disney Teenieboppers. Part of the fun of this cheeeeeesetastic song is trying to figure out which Disney star from our childhood is singing. Hint: one of them can see the future. I don’t even know if this is technically a Christmas song but it was on one of Radio Disney’s Holiday CD’s so boom, it is now. This is one to slow things down and make you reflect on your inner feels.
  8. My Only Wish (this year)-Britney Spears. CLASSIC asking Santa for a boyfriend song. It’s okay Brit, we’ve all been there. Oh, we haven’t? Whatever guys. Santa gets shit done. Also this song is essentially the plot of every Hallmark/Lifetime holiday movie that I will be aggressively recapping and I don’t hate it.
  9. Last Christmas (I Gave You My Heart)-Savage Garden. Threw you a real curveball with this one. Most of you were expecting the classic WHAM! version that started it all. I’m not knocking good ole George Michael but I’m doing my part in this world to make sure everyone knows about Savage Garden and they’re angel voices. Savage Garden’s genre was known as crying music, that probably wasn’t their specific genre but they were the type of band (of beautiful men) that could sing the happiest song and it still sounded depressing. Great sobfest soundtrack. Thank me later. Regardless, they had just the right amount of whimsical to make this remake a hit.
  10. Merry Christmas Baby-Hanson. The snaps and the piano crush it in the intro to this song. I can’t be the only one who listens to it and has to remind herself that these guys were no older than 16 when they recorded this. Yikes. Petition for a comeback Christmas concert from Hanson, sans floor length hair.
  11. Someday At Christmas-B5. This is mostly for laughs but also sneeeakkyyy a jam. Lots of mid-song talking, which always gives me a serious case of the giggles. Why haven’t singers figured out yet that talking amidst singing is just plain silly? Also no idea who B5 is but they are easily all 5 years old. Don’t care, still bop to it. I’m assuming it’s Diddy (because he says “your boy Diddy”) who does the end of the song recap but he gives a nice shout out to all the holidays in the world, cuz whatever you’re down with, it’s all good. Well put, Diddy, well put.
  12. Baby It’s Cold Outside-Jessica Simpson ft. Nick Lachey. Why is this song on here? BECAUSE I WILL NEVER LET GO OF NICK & JESSICA. But actually, a Nick & Jessica duet is a rare gem to be cherished. RIP Newlyweds. Bonus points for the overly fake and obnoxious sleigh bells in the background track.
  13. Kiss Me At Midnight-N*SYNC. What’s that you say? Christmas is over now? Don’t you even fret. N*SYNC doesn’t just pick one holiday to sing about. New Year’s counts too and makes it completely acceptable for holiday music listening to extend a couple weeks more.

Honorable mention for a song that you listen to once to fully immerse yourself in 90’s Christmas and then NEVER listen to it again: 8 Days of Christmas-Destiny’s Child. Back when Beyonce sang about getting a pair of Chloe shades and a DIAMOND BELLY RING from her baby for Christmas instead of singing about girl power and waking up like this. My, my how much our baby Bey has grown. If you want to make sure that you hate this song and never want to hear it again, have one of your most popular friends that you always hang out with set it as her ringtone. Worked like a charm for me.

I hope you enjoyed this very merry walk through Christmases of the 90’s and early 2000’s. Excuse me while I put this playlist on full blast and write my letter to Santa. Merry Christmas ya filthy animals.

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