I know how ridiculous of me it was to be like the JUIce is back, bitches! And then immediately take a week off. In my defense, I had planned on doing one last week but then I came back from NYC on Thursday and had fresh guests arriving Friday at noon. So realistically, my social calendar didn’t allow for it. And I actually was bummed because it seems like now that I’m JUicing again, the celeb headlines are coming hot & heavy. So forgive me if I dip into last week’s news as well, or report on some ongoing goss because I’m literally bursting with opinions.
1. N*SYNC IS SO BACK.
If you know me off the blog, you know I’ve been rumbling about this for an entire year now. Refer to this tweet for proof:
Is my dad forever a #GirlDad of boyband crazy teens or forever being shamed for the time he got us tickets to the N*SYNC celebrity tour then took them away from us for “bad behavior” and took my oldest sister and her two stupid friends instead. Dad, if you’re reading this, you can make it up to me and Nikki by emptying your life savings into tix to this tour and a M&G. Put that Amex to WERK. (Let the records show that we berated him back then too and he did eventually buy another round of tickets but THAT MEANS MY OLDEST SISTER GOT TO SEE THEM TWICE AND SHE DIDN’T EVEN REALLY LIKE THEM.) #NEVERFORGET.
AnYwAy…a year ago TikTok was buzzin with an N*SYNC reunion…then in total breadcrumbing style they stretched it out all year long. In September we got the first N*SYNC tune in FOREVA called Better Place. INSTANT banger but also made for a Trolls movie. Then JT releases new music and announces an album. Album drops in March and there’s another N*SYNC song on it. It kinda sucks. It’s slow and about being old but still being gr8. It’s certainly no “Gone.” Then in promo for his album and pending tour, they reunite onstage for one of his private free ticket pop-up shows in LA. Not for nothing, but I tried to get ticcies to his show in NYC and I’m fully convinced the tickets were exclusively for rich people and Tok influencers because he just wanted buzz for his first album in 6 years. The album sucks…go figure. The N*SYNC chatter dies down because JT has taken center stage as a solo act again and just used them as a gimmick and to tease people. Karma came back around for that selfish lil bitch when he caught a DUI in the Hamptons. Luckily for me, he gave me “this is totally going to ruin the world tour,” which I freely used at every minor inconvenience all summer long. It didn’t ruin the tour…his shit album probably did. But never doubt the powers of a famous person, he got off with only one request: issue a public apology. This was his “apology” where he no less than 10 times not so subtly referenced only having one drink, making it seem like he was unjustly charged. Mmk, babe. Cut to this week, where Lance is verbally confirming to every news outlet that they’re working on something.
EVERYONE BE COOL. It’s happening. And honestly not a minute too soon because I just recently saw JC in a Meow Mix commercial and Chris Kirkpatrick has been emcee’ing 90’s pop tours with reject boy banders at deserted shopping malls. When I alerted my sister to the breaking news, she immediately crushed my dreams by stating the obvious…these tickets will be harder to obtain than The Eras Tour. And as someone who lost years of her life trying to go to the Eras Tour, that’s NOT music to my dang dong ears. Also, clearly a pub stunt for JT who continues to look like a selfish dick over and over again. Honestly, not even mad about that but if Ticketmaster fucks this up, THIS IS TOTALLY GOING TO RUIN THE WORLD TOUR.
2. Diddy Down.
I almost yapped about this in my JUice comeback a couple weeks ago but honestly thought he’d get away with it again and didn’t want to draw any more attention to a rich dirtbag who will continue to be a rich dirtbag. But boy am I glad I waited because the jig is up, Puff. Last week Diddy was charged with racketeering conspiracy, sex trafficking, and transportation to engage in prostitution. He was peddling his typical “this is all false and people are just accusing me because they’re seeking money or fame” BS. And then BAM, he gets indicted and tossed in the slammer without bail until the hearing. HALLELUJAH! Let him ROT. Last spring is when the wheels started to really fall off for Diddy. After SEVERAL accusations and court cases of abuse that he seemed to shake off, an investigation from the feds started, he beat it out of the country and then his house was being raided. TONS of videos resurfaced of him being generally creepy and odd “we’ve just taken in this teenager into our family who has perfectly good parents but now she’s in our family” announcements from the past. The grand finale was a video of him beating the absolute snot out of Cassie in a hotel hallway from 2016. Cassie was his girlfriend for 11 years (and a singer on his label) who had also taken him to court for abuse in 2023 and as Diddy does, he denied it all and got away scot-free and this tape didn’t see the light of day until now. From what I’m gathering via the clips that I saw and interviews with other singers, it is a well-known secret that Diddy is an absolute scumbag and always has been. He doesn’t discriminate on gender, he’ll sexually assault anyone he feels like, and everyone for years has just let it happen and been like ope that’s just Puffy…his parties are crazy!!
So obviously, F this guy and anyone who looked the other way or joined in on his crimes like most of his staff did. The raid of his house in March resulted in the feds finding guns, drugs, and more than 1,000 bottles of lube. MORE THAN ONE THOUSAND BOTTLES. Honestly that alone is proof that he’s raping errebody. You lube up for butt stuff or when the recipient IS NOT A WILLING PARTICIPANT (or they’re a dried up ole cactus, but let’s be real here, that’s not on the table with a famous rapper.) His lawyer claims he had that much lube because American’s buy in bulk…I’ll just let that sit there. Costco has already made a statement that they don’t sell baby oil. Anywho, the second Diddy realized they weren’t wavering and letting him out on bail, he was put on suicide watch because of course. And my favorite two cents, Suge Knight made a statement that someone will probably hurt Diddy in prison “to make a name for themself.” Thank God he spoke out because I was really DYING for a murderer’s opinion on a serial rapist and sex trafficker. One can only hope another prisoner gives Diddy a taste of his own medicine. Keeping my fingers crossed that he doesn’t weasel his way into an innocent ruling from this trial and that the music industry creeps start falling like dominoes in a revival of #MeToo. PS: items 1 & 2 colliding 😮
3. Tree Hill Divided.
*NICHE* audience alert. If you didn’t watch 9 seasons of this teen soap, you’re not gonna give an F about this dramz. Unless, like me, you gobble up any sort of drama even if you know nothing about it. In which case, I’ll give you the cliff-notes of this tea to catch you up to speed. One Tree Hill was a teen show in the age of The OC and Gossip Girl where high school meant pregnancies and shootings and banging your teacher. As previously reported by The Salty Ju, One Tree Hill was the first show to band together and do a takedown of their creator in the #MeToo era. They outed Marc Schwann for not only being an inappropriate and abusive pig, but also for pitting them all against each other and creating a feeling on set that it was every WOman for himHERself. In an effort to take back the show, the three leads created a re-watch podcast a few years back and they’ve been podcasting each episode, serving BTS goss that further implicates the gross environment happening while they filmed. It’s juicy and obviously I haven’t missed an epi. Well, all was grand with that until this past year when it became very clear that Hilarie Burton and Bethany Joy were beefing. Some snarky things were posted, social media accounts were blocked, and podcast episodes were starting to miss one or the other until July when it was announced that Hilarie was off the pod and Robert Buckley would be taking her place. On a podcast called Drama Queens, which has been HEAVILY feminist and “take back our sisterhood, f*ck the man” vibes. Listeners were like WTF, rightfully so. And right around when that happened, news dropped of an OTH reboot in the works at Netflix led by none other than Sophia Bush, Hilarie Burton, Danneel Harris, & Bevin Prince.
And it became VERY clear that this “inclusive” remake was actually just the girls who are still besties working on something and leaving out who they don’t want around. Joy has had no association with this announcement, hasn’t commented on anything, and it’s become glaringly obvious that they mean girled her out of it. I mean, Sophia is on a weekly podcast with her and cut her out of the deal. That’s some bullshit right there. A few weeks went by and Chad Michael Murray confirmed he’s not involved (not shocking considering him and Sophia rarely cross paths if they can help it.) Then Joy teased an announcement and it ended up being an interview/reunion with James for her magazine that she apparently has. And this week they each gave interviews saying they know nothing about this reboot AKA they weren’t invited. This past week we got another glimpse of the house divided when Shantel VanSanten (Quinn) gave a podcast interview where she said she heard about the reboot in the news along with everyone else and would only consider participating “if it was about fairness and inclusivity.” BAM. Real rich of Hilarie and Sophia to be on their high horses parading through the streets for women’s rights and being treated with kindness and it turns out they’re just a couple of bullies. Hilarie also gave an interview this week and said, “What I can say is that this go-around, being able to work with a team of women and look at these stories [and] these characters through a female lens is something that — whether I was doing a reboot or a brand-new show or a different movie at this phase in my life, female teamwork is something that is so vital to me,” Burton said. “It is the core of anything I’ve done that’s successful. So I’m excited to be able to team up with people that I look up to, people that I love dearly.” If I was Joy I’d be middle fingers up posting a takedown of this bullshit.
To further hammer the point home, there was a big reunion convention this past weekend and Sophia only posted pictures with the same cast members, Danneel wore a blinged belt that said producer (as she’s an EP with Sophia and Hilarie on the reboot) and Joy and James were nowhere to be found in any of their postings. Not putting out inclusive vibes, GIRLEEZZEEEE!
4. Child Star.
I did the Lord’s work and watched this so you don’t have to. It was a SUPER random mixture of child stars, half of whom I’ve never felt the need to hear from again, and here are some of my hard-hitting thoughts in bullet form (because of course I took notes.)
- Before we get into the movie, I have a bone to pick with Hulu, who just sent a casual alert that they’ll be raising their price, who I already pay $80 a month to for live TV, and we can’t get through a feature film without them serving me 100 commercials. THAT SHOULD BE ILLEGAL.
- Onto my overall hot take on this film…it doesn’t know what it wants to be. Demi clearly wanted to talk about her own life and story…which she’s done now in 2 separate docs so it really wasn’t necessary, and she definitely wants to promote her new music, but she’s doing it under the guise of interviewing other child stars. We really didn’t need her hands in this because then we could’ve heard these other stars stories without Demi overshadowing or one-upping their trauma. When Kenan and Raven are like yikes, bitch your life was crazy, you know it’s time to stop putting your two cents in and let them just share their truths. On top of this weird ‘she’s interviewing people while also being interviewed back by them’ dynamic, there’s parts about legislation and appearances from reporters and people lobbying for rights and flashbacks to Shirley Temple and more than once I was like what are we watching here? Pick a story to tell.
- Kenan wore sunglasses for his entire interview and it was suuuuuuuch a douche move.
- Drew Barrymore used to get high at 10 with her mom’s friend. Coming from someone who has never gotten high, I quite literally gasped at that.
- JoJo Siwa posts 250-300 posts a day on Snapchat. I mean…💀💀💀
- It felt a little tacky to be skirting the entire topic of abuse of child actors hot off the heels of that Nickelodeon doc. Sure, they all (except Kenan) brushed upon struggles that they had with addiction or eating disorders, but now that we’ve seen how Nick was operating at that time–which btw Kenan claims he never witnessed, I have to imagine Disney had similarities and to not touch on that was odd.
- The credits rolled, I saw Scooter Braun was a producer and I shouted OH FUCK THIS on my couch to no one. Discredited the whole thing.
Guh’ head and skip this one…but NGL, the Demi song slapped, as her music always does.
5. ARE YA IN OR ARE YA OUT, JEN?!
Again, a carry-over from last week, but still on-going news. Ben and Jen were out in Hollywood and although they looked like they wanted to murder each other in paps photos as they always do, many sources reported them canoodling inside all day long. And it’s like FIGURE IT OUT, GUYS. Are you going to keep peddling this fate brought us back together love story? Or are you going to be real (LISTEN TO YOUR OWN LYRICS, JLO) and admit the reunion was fun for like 6 months of banging and then you realized you’re wildly incompatible. Ben wants to stay out of the spotlight, rip ciggs and mainline Dunks. Jen wants attention 24/7 and will literally never stop grinding in movies and music. THE JIG IS UP. This past week Jenny from the Block uploaded a selfie with a necklace that says Ben and it was immediately taken down like OOPSIE that wasn’t supposed to be posted! OK WELL ARE YOU TWO GETTING DIVORCED OR NAH? Cut the shit.
BONUS: Hoda announced she’s leaving the Today Show
Apparently everyone on the show was shocked by this news, but an article mentioned that her daughter has some health problems and it kinda seems like a no brainer that as a single mom, she’s spending QT with her kids, especially if one needs more attention. She’s an icon, and I used to love the Hoda & Kathie Lee era of guzzlin wine and babbling nonsense. I find Jenna Bush Hager to be incredibly screechy, so can’t say I’ve dabbled since Kath left, but Hodesters will be missed. Also an excuse to post one of my favorite SNL repeating sketches that was honestly v accurate of how KLG and Hodes interacted on the daily.
The Salty Ju 