Red Carpet

CMT Music Awards Red Carpet

We’re back in the swing of a country music awards show for every network, unfortunately this network is no longer a part of my cable package (elitist Comcast) so I really committed hard to delivering some bloggage. You better ‘preciate it. Probably the most difficult part of my night wasn’t watching an awards show on my laptop like a poor person, but it was trying to find enough people for my best dressed list. YIKES what slim pickins. Anywho…

Worst Dressed

Screen Shot 2015-06-10 at 8.33.24 PM

WHAT THE HELL, SAM?! DON’T STRAY FROM THE HOT COUNTRY BOY UNIFORM. JEANS, VNECK, SMILE. DAS IT.

jt-hodges-kasey-hodges-cmt-awards-2015

JT Hodges wore more sparkles than his wife. That’s supes embarrassing.

jason-aldean-cmt-music-awards-2015

Jason Aldean will forever be stuck in the 90’s. Sweet corduroy jacket and flares.

ian-somerhalder-cmt-music-awards-2015

Listen I want to throw the boys a bone here but they did a lot of this shit…looking good on top and then throwing on a pair of boots that ruined everything.

chase-rice-cmt-music-awards-2015

Going for a quick hike after this, Chase? Cmon guys, it’s not that hard to make my best dressed. Figure it out.

ashley-monroe-cmt-awards-2015

Not even joking here, is she alive?

rae-lynn-cmt-awards-2015

This is literally the pattern of one of those rubber sun catchers you could color in from Joann Fabrics. #craftdress

brooke-hogan-cmt-awards-20152

How the hell did Brooke Hogan get an invite to these awards? Think they were scrounging or something…Anyway she wore her best Deb prom dress, with a side of nip slip. Keep it classy, grrrrrl.

aubrey-peeples-cmt-awards-20151

I’m guessing Aubrey Peeples/Jeff Fordham’s worse half rode to the red carpet on her broomstick.

kellie-pickler-cmt-awards-2015

The shiny pattern mixed with gold prom heels wasn’t Kelli’s best.

jamie-lynn-spears-cmt-awards-2015

Cute jumpsuit Jamie-Lynn but you’re on a red carpet, not bowling with your pals on Zoey 101.

hillary-scott-cmt-awards-20152

Ugh. This dress isn’t doing things for Hil. She redeems herself with a white hot performance outfit.

nicole-kidman-cmt-awards-2015

Meh.

Best Dressed:

Screen Shot 2015-06-10 at 8.33.07 PM

Take notes, boys.

Screen Shot 2015-06-10 at 8.32.57 PM

Dierks gets it. Guys can literally wear an undershirt and some tight jeans and still crush a red carpet.

IMG_5202

I ripped this off Brett’s snapchat like the creep that I am but there weren’t any pics online and I just know he looks like a dime.

jana-kramer-cmt-awards-2015

Jana could do less with this look but the color looks good on her and obviously respect tha hell out of that bod.

jessie-james-decker-cmt-awards-2015

LBD never fails, JJD keeping it simple and still looking like a smoke.

kimberly-perry-cmt-awards-20151

Svelte look for KPerry

erin-andrews-cmt-awards-2015-2

Just enough skin to keep it elegant.

jenna-dewan-cmt-awards-2015

There’s a reason she’s married to Magic Mike.

brittany-snow-cmt-awards-2015

Both hosts delivering on the red carpet with classic black and white.

nikki-reed-cmt-awards-20151

Dig the different dress style, could’ve really used a sassy pony with it to seal the deal.

danielle-bradbery-cmt-awards-20151

Fun sparkle mini on Danielle Bradbury

laura-bell-bundy-cmt-awards-20151

Girl is pulling off the jumpsuit and it’s unlike anything else on this red carpet.

Best Look of the Night…

carrie-underwood-cmt-awards-20151

I mean obviously. When did she have a baby? This morning? Those legs though.

Standard
Red Carpet

Met Gala Red Carpet

Since this ball is honoring costumes, it’s known to have some out there fashion statements. This year’s theme was China: Through the Looking Glass, which left a whole lot of room for accidental racism. I’d like to applaud Hollywood for toeing that line quite nicely and avoiding any large scandal. Although no one showed up in a kimono with chopsticks in their hair, I would like to find out how one gets an invite to this event because judging by the MTV crowd, I’m convinced if I rolled up in a floral ball gown I would’ve been let in no questions asked. Anyway, here’s the looks that made me want to puke everywhere, accompanied by the ones that made me drool.

Worst:

lady-gaga-met-gala-2015

This is actually really tame for GaGa. Still hate it though..basically a moomoo with feathers.

katy-perry-met-gala-20152

Ms. Katy Perry ditching her infamous cheeto themed outfits for an emo/graffiti theme.

miley-cyrus-met-gala-2015

http://www.barf.com/always …sweet blue hair.

robert-pattinson-fka-twigs-met-gala-2015

FKA Twigs is somewhat wearing a human…or maybe just their arms/legs? I don’t know. I’m uncomfy.

jennifer-lopez-met-gala-20152

This is the first time I’ve ever seen JLo look old. Also this dress is Mushu from Mulan sewed onto a body. How dare you treat Mushu like that.

kim-kardashian-met-gala-2015 kim-kardashian-kanye-west-met-gala-2015

Hey have you guys ever seen Kim K’s lady bits? This is a really bold look for her because she’s always so modest and covered. What a risk taker.

rihanna-met-gala-2015-2

Belle has arrived and apparently slayed the beast and dyed his fur yellow for her ensemble tonight.

Screen Shot 2015-05-04 at 9.06.44 PM

Wax. Figure.

Screen Shot 2015-05-04 at 9.06.36 PM

This dress belongs on the cover of Seventeen Magazine.

Screen Shot 2015-05-04 at 9.05.07 PM

Not into the color or the shoulder cutout, or the way Emma Roberts looks like she wants to murder a village.

Screen Shot 2015-05-04 at 9.04.11 PM

The cupcake poof makes Alicia look like she’s 1000 lbs and we know she’s not because she’s croppin so hard. Not flattering.

sjp-290

I know it’s like sacrilegious to put SJP on the worst dressed but guess what, I’m doing it. That headdress is stupid.

lily-collins

Little House on the Yellow River

olsens

Damnit guys, you used to be cute as shit. Why does it look like you’re 100 now and 2/3 of the Sanderson sisters? Pretty BA to completely ignore the theme though.

dakota

Dakota looks like she picked this up at Deb and is going to hit the clubs tonight. Read the red carpet, Dakota. Not the event for this kind of mini.

cher

Not in love with this pattern, Cher. Hair on fleek though for someone over 60 that’s impressive.

chloe-grace

Chloe borrowed Kristin’s black choker from Laguna Beach.

bieber

Again, how was this punk invited?

hailee-steinfeld

Bleh.

sienna-miller

Ummm…maybe use the tassels awkwardly hanging down your leg to tie that wide open jacket closed.

olivia-munn

What an unfortunate area to have what looks like blood stains on your dress. Jus sayin.

cara-delevingne-met-gala-2015

Kewl fake tats.

emily-blunt-met-gala-20151

Closest we got to an actual kimono.

olivia-wilde-met-gala-20151

This dress looks like a pinterest project.

Best:

Screen Shot 2015-05-04 at 9.08.32 PM

Hated this so hard when I first saw it. The more that I stare at it though, I respect it. There’s only one way to come back after almost murdering your brother in law in an elevator at last year’s Met Ball, and that’s obviously to wear something like this. Fist bump, Solange.

andy-cohen-met-gala-2015

Andy looking dapper AF.

usher-met-gala-2015

Usher looks like he legitimately has a foot injury but I’m gonna credit the pimp cane to part of this look anyway. Smooth.

joshua-jackson-diane-kruger-met-gala-2015diane-kruger

Always a stylish couple, Diane is crushing the bodysuit.

ansel-elgort-met-gala-2015

Not many men to look at so Ansel made the cut for looking adorbs.

amal-george-clooney-met-gala-2015

I want to hate Amal so bad because she’s so above Hollywood and smart or something but she looks gr8.

Screen Shot 2015-05-04 at 9.07.06 PM

This is a flattering style on her, I could do without pelicans flying across the dress.

Screen Shot 2015-05-04 at 9.06.53 PM

I dig this color on Keri, wish her hair was down.

Screen Shot 2015-05-04 at 9.06.26 PM

This is so asshole that I love it. Anne Hathaway is hated on so much and she’s like guess what I’m going to roll through with my shiny gold hood up. H8ers gonna H8.

Screen Shot 2015-05-04 at 9.06.16 PM

Elizabeth Banks looks great in this color–wish her hair wasn’t pompadour city.

Screen Shot 2015-05-04 at 9.05.42 PM

Good color, good lip.

Screen Shot 2015-05-04 at 9.04.48 PM

Selena putting the goods on display for Matador Biebs.

Screen Shot 2015-05-04 at 9.03.40 PM

The only purple dress I saw and it’s on point.

Screen Shot 2015-05-04 at 9.03.19 PM

Taking a quote from the drunk bros who complimented my derby hat on Saturday, this dress is “elegant AF”

gabrielle-union

Classy and modest for Gabrielle Union.

 katie-holmes

Dumb hair, pwetty gown.

jessica-hart

Don’t know who this is, digging up on the texture and style of this dress.

taraji

Dayumn, Cookie.

amanda-seyfried

Classic white and red lippin.

janelle-monae

Crop coordinate game strong.

kendall

And the winner of best looking reality star goes to Kendall. Take notes Kris & Kimmy. Bow down to the model of the fam.

 hannah-davis

Do you think Jeets is into sharing? Hannah Davis looks like a smooookeeeeshowwww.

claire-danes

Punk Rock Claire Danes. Get itttt.

kerry-washington1

I’m a big sucker for pop of color shoes.

allison-williams1

I don’t necessarily love this dress but  Allison Williams always looks like a beaut.

Screen Shot 2015-05-04 at 10.07.00 PM Screen Shot 2015-05-04 at 10.06.15 PM Screen Shot 2015-05-04 at 10.05.58 PM

SLAAAYYYY QUEEN.  THAT PONYTAIL.

chrissy-teigen-600x800

Always crushing the red carpet Chrissy didn’t disappoint in a backless black gown.

lorde

Mark this day down in history as the first time Lorde has made one of my best dressed lists. She even looks angelic. Who is this person.

uma

Uma threw me for a loop in this dress. Looking fit and fab right down to the earrings.

carey-mulligan-met-gala-2015

Classic look for Carey Mulligan.

gigi-hadid-met-gala-2015

Most beautiful person alive, no biggie. Ties with Hannah Davis for girl crush of the night.

karlie-kloss-met-gala-20152

Karlie came without her twin but still looks fab.

zendaya-met-gala-2015

This is hands down the best Zendaya has ever looked on a red carpet.

zoe-kravitz-met-gala-2015

The septum piercing is real intimidating but this dress is supes cool.

kate-hudson

Not as ballsy as Little Gold Ridinghood Anne but still stellar gold.

reese-witherspoon-01-600x800

Ya girl Reese is literally timeless.

Woofiest Look of the Night:

chloe

Not only is this outfit atrocious but Chloe knows it is because her red carpet face looks like she just smelled a fart.

Favorite Look of the Night:

jlaw1

J.Law doing the damn thing with the top bun and floral crop she’s looking fresh to death and my fave of the night.

Standard