As everyone should know very well by now, whether they are a fan or not, Monday October 27th marked Taylor Swift Day. Not the first, and probably not the last, but still a joyous day indeed. Taylor dropped her newest album 1989 and I felt like this would be a fitting time to foray into music reviews. Here’s my take on 1989, track by track. *’ed tracks are my JAMS.

1. Welcome to New York: As an avid H8ER of NYC, this song on message alone bloooows. When I think “Welcome to NY”, I smell street meat mixed with homeless people BO, hear sirens and people shouting for money and see Amanda Bynes wandering aimlessly with bandaids on her face. But of course I’m not Taylor Swift with an endless bank account and supply of fresh crop coordinates to wear upon exiting the gym. So I guess I can understand how we would see NY differently. Putting that aside, not into the sick beat on this one, a little too 13 going on 30 for me. 

 Honorable mention lyrics: “Kaleidoscope of loud heartbeats under coats”  & “Took our broken hearts, put them in a drawer, Everybody here was someone else before”

2. Blank Space*: First ten seconds, gangster Tay? NICE TO MEET YOU. WHERE YOU BEEN? This is 100% one of those songs that if it were to come on I wouldn’t know how to groove to it. It’s way too cool for me. I love it. I feel like this is the sassiest Tay gets on this album and you gotta respect the sass. (PS “They’ll tell you I’m insane” hits a little close to home, huh T?)

Honorable mention lyric: “Cause darling I’m a nightmare dressed like a daydream” I mean obviously. The delivery of this paired with a cocky laugh. Oohh kill em, OG T.

3. Style*: Hey do you think this is about Harry? Just wondering. This is a good “I feel like I’m reading seventeen magazine and doing my nails when I bop to this” jam. Also Taylor saying she wears a tight little skirt? HUSSY. I LOVE it. (So did Harry apparently) Burn city. Side note: Harry’s dirty locks are actually starting to go out of style, he should probably consider cleaning that up. Taylor’s red lip and crop coordinates, however, I am not sick of yet so for right now I agree. You so stylish, girl.

Honorable mention lyric: “Take me home. Just take me home” (There’s really no good lyric in this song so I chose this one because I want Harry Styles to just take me home. Also this lyric is a rare glimpse of Taylor not being a cat lady for once.)

4. Out of the Woods*: I think this one has to be my favorite so far. I hated it at first because when it came out I was still jamming so hard to Shake it Off and I wasn’t ready for it. I’m ready now. It’s just the right amount of 80’s sound. More like Breakfast Club, less like 13 Going on 30. Also I like when Tay wails OH I REMEMBER. (Insert goat sound here, internet.) Jk she has much more goaty songs yet to come.

Honorable mention lyric: “The rest of the world was black and white But we were in screaming color”

5. All You Had To Do Was Stay: This is a tough one for me. I like everything about this song except for the “stay” which is essentially the whole song. It’s supes whiny. It kind of sounds like when I would *hypothetically* perform a solo concert in my car and try to hit the high notes in All Too Well. Not gr8. And that’s why I can’t love this song.

Honorable mention lyric (this is difficult…there’s literally 4 lyrics to this song): “But people like me are gone forever when you say goodbye.” YEAH GIRL POWER. Let em walk gurrrrlll.

6. Shake It Off*: The second this song came out I loved it real hard. The downfall of this is that it got me super excited and swept up in the year of new Taylor causing me to immediately and aggressively pre-buy 1989 the next day. Pre-buying a cd is a huge commitment when you don’t know what it will sound like, it’s an even bigger and more embarrassing commitment when you realize it comes with 13 personal polaroids of Taylor and you have to ship it to your sister’s apt because you don’t have an address yet. In retrospect it was too much. I got swept away in Swift hysteria. I know that now. I DO NOT, however, regret playing this song on repeat for the remainder of the summer and long after everyone had already gotten annoyed by it. It’s the 22 of this album, and I’d like to personally thank Taylor for making it all ages. Getting past 22 was a rough spot for me. 23 just isn’t as cool and flirty. Could for sure do without the mid song talking. It gives me all the uncomfies.

Honorable mention lyric: “It’s like I got this music In my mind Saying, “It’s gonna be alright.” CHURCH. (I don’t even know what that means I just heard Scott Disick say it once so I wanted to give it a whirl.)

7. I Wish You Would: This song feels like a Hil Duff song during the Disney days. Like I can see Lizzie McGuire jamming to this song on her Hit Clips while Gordo stares at her longingly, Ethan models and styles his fluffy Ken doll hair in his locker mirror and Miranda wears wacky clothes so that she’s less irrelevant. Did I go too far with that? Probably. But that’s all I can think of. So sue me. I think the best part of this song is when the “I wish, I wish” in the background goes away.

Honorable mention lyric: “You give me everything and nothing” So much drama. So many feels.

8. Bad Blood*: So apparently this song is about Katy Perry? I swear to God if anyone is still fighting over John Mayer we need a quick reality check. It’s John Mayer. His songs haven’t been sex since Contiuum circa 2006. Old John Mayer=worth fighting over. New hippy, post-racism retirement John Mayer=not worth fighting over. Got it? Stand down gurls. Now that we’ve cleared that up, this song is growing on me, which is why it earned a star. I like the beat and it makes me feel like I could carry a boombox on my shoulder and start street fights with girls wearing whipped cream bras with a blue wig.

Honorable mention lyric: “Bandaids don’t fix bullet holes” So true Dr. Swift, so true.

9. Wildest Dreams: I haven’t read many reviews of this album yet but one that I read before I had even listened to the album said she mimicked Lana del Ray on one track, I’m going to assume it’s this one. ALL I can think when listening to this song is how it’s almost exactly the Lana/Great Gatsby “Young & Beautiful”. Lana’s song “Say you’ll still love me when I’m no longer young and beautiful.” Tay’s song “Say you’ll remember me standing in a nice dress staring at the sunset.” Coincidence? I hate the Lana song because they used it in Gatsby to be about Daisy who is a HUGE twat. Also Kanye had it played when he proposed to Kim, insert monkey covering mouth to hold in vomit emoji. Long story short I’m not in love with this one. 

Honorable mention lyric: “Hes so tall and handsome as hell Hes so bad but he does it so well” Is this a song lyric or directly copied from the “what you’re looking for” section on my OkCupid profile? HEYYOO.

10. How You Get The Girl: Cin always taught me if you don’t have anything nice to say don’t say anything at all. As you very well know I’ve never followed that rule a day in my life. I physically cannot say nice things about this song. I feel dumber after listening to it. I guess the one nice thing I can say is that the chorus SOUNDS catchy. I like how it’s sung, but the lyrics read like an advice column for Tiger Beat.

Honorable mention lyric: “With pictures in frames of kisses on cheeks” Lawls. So Innocent.

11. This Love: I can’t quite place what song the “oh oh oh’s” make me think of but it is certainly an old song that now lives on classic rock radio stations. I think I like this song for a slower change of pace from the rest of the album but again the chorus lyrics aren’t great. This love is good, this love is bad” WHICH ONE IS IT TAY? MAKE UP YOUR G-D MIND. Solid for a power ballad post break up I guess though.

Honorable mention lyric: “When you’re young you just run But you come back to what you need” All the wisdom.

12. I Know Places*: It might be the emo side of me that liked the Ashlee Simpson Show (and youtubed clips from it the other night, 10 years later)  but I’m starting to love this song. It makes me want to write in my journal and dye my hair black. Just kitten, black isn’t my color.  I can picture the music video for this being in the woods at night and involving her cats. Nailed it. Call me a visionary. Plus MARIST RED FOXES (insert Red Fox Rumble).

Honorable mention lyric: “Loose lips sink ships all the damn time Not this time.” ALL THE DAMN TIME.

13. Clean: I think this is probably the only song on this album that reminds me of something she’s done before. It has a similar sound to something from the Speak Now era. I like it but it’s nothing special for me. I like that it’s simple and not being overpowered by synths or mid-song talking. It’s CLEAN. Get it?! HA.HA. All jokes aside, is she comparing dating Harry to being an alcoholic? Little dramats don’t we think? Not the finish to the album that I would’ve pictured but then again let’s take a walk down memory lane to Red’s Begin Again ending. Wooooooof. So it’s probably better than that.

Honorable mention lyric: “You’re still all over me like a wine-stained dress I can’t wear anymore” I think we can ALL picture this, amirite? Wine stains? No? Just me?

If you also impulse bought the deluxe edition here are the bonus songs:

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October 2023 Edit: It just so happens that Tay re-released her version of 1989 on the same date, which also happens to be the much celebrated (in this household exclusively) birthday of The Salty Ju. Per her tradition of including a bunch of never-before-heard tracks “from the vault” like she’s Walt F’ing Disney, I’ve decided to review them. As we can clearly see in the lavender text above, my style of kneejerk reactions and unfiltered commentary to songs hasn’t changed and it’s what really makes going back and reading my old blogs extra cringeworthy. So here we go, a much older and probs not wiser Ju to break down the newest 1989 bops.

Slut! Taylor is ALSO older and perhaps wiser and therefore it seemed a little gauche (she taught me that word) to name a song after a very anti-feminist slander. Everyone reasoned that this must be some sort of statement or art because obviously she’s not going to be dropping a song in the year of our Lord 2023 slut-shaming. Well joke’s on you because she sang about how it’d be worth it for once to be called a slut for this particular man friend. #FEMINISM. Love it. The ole “well they’re going to call me a slut anyway so at least this time I’m getting that good D for it.” Is what I assume she means here. GET IT GUUUURLLL. I don’t hate this song but I didn’t immediately love it either. It was basically a dreamy little F-U to the press for being judgey as hell anytime she so much as sniffed at a guy, which would’ve been edgy at the time but now it’s like seeking closure with an ex after they married someone else. Too little, too late, girlie.

Best Lyric: Got love-struck, went straight to my head / Got lovesick all over my bed

Say Don’t Go. Shaky start but the chorus got me jammin out for sure. The shouting of “say don’t go” back to herself in a little call and response? Chef’s kiss. Don’t know why that did it for me but I was all in on it. Also because if I wasn’t getting amped on the chorus I would’ve gotten a little sad from the lyrics of this song. WHY’D YOU LEAD HER ON, YOU DIRTBAG?! Her fake boyfriend Travis Kelce WOULD NEVER.

Best Lyric: And I’m yours, but you’re not mine

Now That We Don’t Talk. The second this song started I knew it was my favorite of the bonus tracks and will be heavily rotated for the rest of fall until I forget about it because she has a catalog of 19 million songs at this point and honestly it’s just hard to keep up. But anyway, sassy lyrics and a sick beat are a quick way to my heart. Rewinding back in time to 2013/2014 when these songs were written, we can conclude that they were about Harry Styles. Why? Because between yachts and long hair and flights home alone, these lyrics are dripping with Harry references. I love when I don’t have to dig for clues and easter eggs and she literally just shoves ex-boyfriend deets right in our grillpieces. Whether it’s about Harry or the 17-year-old Kennedy she dated for 1 second, I think we can all agree going from talking to a person all day every day to cold turkey no communication is hard as hell. So, sometimes it’s nice to remember that not talking also means you don’t have to pretend to be interested in their stupid little lives anymore and WE ARE BETTER OFF!

Best Lyric: Remind myself the more I gave, you’d want me less

Suburban Legends. A tall tale of high school sweethearts going their separate ways to make names for themselves and WoMp WoMPpPpp they don’t end up finding their way back to each other in the end. Look I loved folklore and that was like 90% made up stories but I’ve gotta RELATE to it, ya know? The best songs hit home for me and this just isn’t speaking to me in that way. Doesn’t mean it’s bad…just means I wasn’t born to be a suburban legend. In fact, if I went to my high school reunion they’d be like new phone, who dis?

Best Lyric: And you kiss me in a way that’s gonna screw me up forever

Is It Over Now? DING DING DING, here’s the runner up to my favorite 1989 vault track! I guess you could say I’m in my ‘men are trash’ era because I picked the two sassy breakup songs and folks, it ain’t a coincidence that my bitter single heart has resonated most with these numbers. (Quick reminder that my two favorite vault tracks from Red were the 10 min version for obvious reasons and I Bet You Think About Me. I’m a SLUT! for a scorned lover song.) Special shout out to the screams at the top of this song that sound somewhat like a bird being murdered in a forest and woke my dog from a dead slumber so she could lift her head and give me a look like, really bitch? And then I obviously gave her a look back that said I pay the bills and feed you and just cleaned up your diarrhea for the 100th time this week, I’ll jam out to Taylor Swift anytime I please THANK YOU! But also, Charlee’s got a point we didn’t need this screech to continue in the background for the entirety of the song. The way she sings “oh, lord” makes up for that though. Sorta. And not for nothing, lots of Harry hate in this song and I can’t help but point out that when Jake was being dragged again everyone was like LET’S HANG HIM IN PUBLIC and now it’s Harry’s turn again and not a peep because Harry’s a superstar now and makes weird 70’s music that everyone’s obsessed with and I CALL BULLSHIT. PETITION TO HATE ALL OF TAYLOR’S EXES EQUALLY.

Best Lyric: You dream of my mouth before it called you a lying traitor. (What a sick burn.)

I’ve grown to like 1989 I think more than I did initially. Also, not for nothing, it’s the album that birthed Blank Space which is a top five Tay song. I also correlate 1989 with my move to Boston, which was an exciting time for me even though living in a city turned out much like most of my adult life, a giant disappointment. BUT it was fun to be young and single and skinny wearing crop coordinates just like Tay! And I’ll say these vault tracks are strong. Not as strong as Red’s but honestly what could compare to that beast of an album and all of the surprise content that came afterward. So I’ll continue to groove to the old classics and mix it up with these new ones now that I’ve actually had a real relationship unlike 9 years ago and therefore can sing with the true drama of someone who has actually been through it. What an accomplishment to be proud of.