Music

Step Aside, Selena.

Immediate Reactions to the Blank Space Music Video:

First and foremost, I understand that surprise releases are all the rage now in music ever since Beyonce blew everyone’s minds and snuck a full CD with music videos but I’m super over it. It gives me anxiety when buzzworthy things happen midday and I cannot participate because my cubicle computer is open to all surrounding roaming eyes. My FOMO nightmare came true today and I dealt with it by specifically going home for lunch to watch. Obv this was a really mature and adult decision. It was in the privacy of my own home that I was able to watch the video twice, uninterrupted with no judgsies.

Next let’s address the elephant in the room. Remember how I made a wisecrack about Taylor releasing her CD before Selena’s big dramatic music video, thus upstaging her? Well it seems I can predict the future. Props to Tay for giving Selena the spotlight for a WHOLE weekend before slyly but not at all slyly snaking it back.

I was really anticipating this video (all morning long when that’s all I could think about.) Mostly because this is the number one JAM from 1989. (If you read my review you would already know this. Duhs.) So much sassiness and so much potential for a music video. Taylor straight up delivered on the psycho factor. Couldn’t be weirder. It’s everything I could have ever wanted for this song and more. Here’s the full video for your viewing and reviewing pleasure.

As a film major in college (LOLZ) and a fellow music video director (double LOLZ) I can tell you that in my professional opinion this is top quality stuff. Shot like a film in a mansion fit for a Kennedy (wink) it looked great and so did Tay with her 500 outfit changes. You’re obviously wondering, what looks were her best? Lucky for you I screenshot every outfit of the video just for this very moment. I know, I know, I’m so kind. Let’s do it to it.

BOMB outfits:

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STRONG start with Lingerie Tay holding Olivia Benson (for a touch of innocence). Cleavage+Cat=PG13. That is, until Olivia is replaced by a knife for cray cray Tay.

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IMG_4065 Full lace gown descending a grand staircase. Badass princess moment.

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Ballroom dancing in the sparkliest of gowns. Just a regular Friday night for T. This is just what she wears from the gym.

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Is this the Oscars or a music video? But seriously.

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50’s Tay getting after some champagne and candy.

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Taylor brings Jersey Shore to the mansion with dubs leps. Couldn’t love it more.

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White Crop combo for her ode to Tiger Woods. Legs.

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She borrowed this witchy black number from Lorde.

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Cat eye on point.

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Little white dress for burning and throwing your boyfriends clothes. Everyone should have one.

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Final look. Perfection.

Ehh Outfits:

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Not crazy about the dress and hair combo in “stab my boyfriend’s rich person portrait” Taylor

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Don’t get me wrong, she’s absolutely pulling.this.off. but it’s a little too much.

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This is too normal of a dress for cutting boob holes in your boyf’s shirt. Blah.

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Too much old lady. Not enough leopard.

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This looks like it would give her a mean wedgie. Also I think Allie wore this in The Notebook.

Weird Moments:

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Riding bikes around the living room. You know, cause why exercise in the private gym that is 100% in that mansion when you can ride your Huffy through the parlor.

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Walking your two guard dogs with your boyfriend who is also wearing a cape. Real talk: This is my dream. Dogs and men (in capes…just kitten) Also for fear of putting up redundant pictures, this dress makes the best outfit list. Duh.

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Standing on a horse. (This is less weird and more so just IMPRESSIVE) Do you think I could get away with trying that next year in downtown Saratoga? One of the cops will totes lend me his horse for Taylor reenactment via Caroline St. right? (This is an EH outfit)

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Crying and writhing in the hallway next to a deer. Don’t bring Bambi into your troubles, Crazy Tay. She’s just an innocent forest creature.

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This is Twilight. Amirite Twihards?

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Halloween is over. Stop trying to give me nightmares.

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GET IT, TAY.

Drumroll PLEASE. And the best moment of this video goes to the delivery of the best line of the song. Anyone whose listened to this song and doesn’t giggle every time she says “Cause darling I’m a nightmare dressed like a daydream” with a haughty laugh is not really enjoying life. Boom.

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The ferocious grab of the head and sneering of that lyric in “Sean’s” grill piece was exactly what we all needed. Supes aggress and I didn’t hate it one bit. I’m actually surprised she didn’t follow it up with spitting in his mouth. SUCK IT, SEAN. DON’T MESS. (this outfit was also a BEST but since she was hurling her body around throwing shit at him I couldn’t get a good snap of it. Necklace game so strong.)

Honorable Mention:

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This Guy ❤ Yum. Well done, gurl.

Hope you enjoyed reliving all things Blank Space. If you didn’t, pls see below.

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