Nashville, Television

Nashville- “If I Could Do It All Again”


As if it wasn’t enough that Vita and Riff were tossed into the Nashville mix last week, get yourself ready for a one episode appearance of Sienna. COME ON WITH THESE NAMES. Sienna is a single mommy who salivates over Avery at the park and they go on a date and make out a little bit. Everything’s fine and dandy until Avery spends their entire second date yip yapping about Juliette. I guess that’s a turn-off for Sienna so she’s out. She’ll go back to gossiping about how hawt Avery is with the other playground mommies and maybe toss in some deets about their mack sesh to make the others jelly.

Kind of like Layla, who could not BE more jelly of Avery dating someone. Cause she just thinks he’s like SUPER smart and SUPER creative. So obviously that means they should bang so she can get back at Juliette for killing her boyfriend or whatever. You know, normal stuff. She’s grinning from ear to ear when she finds out that it didn’t work out with Avery and his park biddy, so that’s still a thing that’s going to happen, I guess.

Our new shady friend Vita claims to Rayna that she would never steal, so we all Gucci. She’s definitely not shady at all because Rayna’s gullible AF. Don’t worry though because Frankie shouts at her later and she’s like yah I totes stole it but I was gonna pay it back I swear. Rayna has to let Vita go and then in attempts to create more drama surrounding this weird addition to the show, there’s an altercation at her car/home later! WHAT WILL HAPPEN WITH VITA? DO WE CARE? No.

The Colt and Maddie teen love saga also continues this week when Colt shows up with flowers because his Granddad says actions speak louder than words. If that’s the case, Maddie then hopping in the car with Cash and then bringing Colt as a third wheel to the Bluebird should speak volumes. While the three of them eat dinner, Colt’s like being a famous singer is for lames, my Granddad fought in Vietnam and he’s my hero. Maddie and Cash are like, but did your granddad get hits on his YouTube vid orrr? Turns out Maddie’s new bestie is a REAL c-block. She sings a song Maddie wrote about Colt getting all up in her pants, then says they have plans like forever so Maddie and Colt can’t hang & bang. They find some time anyway, to break up, but don’t worry because Cash is there to comfort Maddie (lesbehonest) and the army is there to comfort Colt, so he can be just like Granddad.

And for a quick update on my new fave DILF, Riff, it turns out one can’t just walk back onstage fifteen years later and crush it. Probably shouldn’t have hyped his return up so much, Luke. Riff’s a real dick about it and peels out to go to his kid’s soccer game. WHAT a badass. But finally, he can admit that he’s sucktown and ask for some training. He slays live because it’s super realistic for someone to learn vocals and guitar for a full set in mere hours. In other things I don’t really care about, Frankie’s real jealz that Deacon gets more attention and credit for The Beverly so when Riff calls Deacon up onstage, Frankie dramatically goes into the back room and hits the booze. Bye, bye Beverly!


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