JUice

Weekly JUice

1. NYFW-DIS BLAKE’S SHIT. RESPECT THAT. BOW DOWN BITCHES. Seriously though is it New York Fashion Week or Blake Lively Week? Did she just have a baby or something? NBD but HBD.

blake

Also Rihanna probably should’ve just turned around and went home in that bathmat top and strategically hanging off of her arms bedazzled jean jacket.

rihanna-435

2. Taylor Swift releases music video for Style on Friday the 13th (duh). It was certainly not what I expected from Tay for this little number but watch below and then I’ll force my commentary on you.

Obviously Blank Space was a bananas video so to follow that is already tough stuff. This was an artsy approach to the one of many songs that were about her former lovah Harry. I guess I can respect the visuals and the tree trunk growing in her spine for the most part…Things that I really liked: the red lips when he looks in the rearview mirror although I don’t condone scaring someone when they’re driving at night. It’s been a known fear of mine to drive somewhere in the dark by myself, look in the rearview mirror and see someone’s face. So although it looked cool in the video it’s also terrifying. Anyway, I got sidetracked there–other things I liked: gratuitous abs and another stellar hot male lead, girl never disappoints in the man candy dept. Also when things got scandalous and there was a little sex tryst that resulted in lightning. I think she’s trying to tell us she’s got mad bedroom skillz. Lastly the white criss cross crop was killing it. Things I could do without: barefoot in the woods,all of the superimposed eyes coming in hot. Too many eyes, too little faces. Will they ever find each other?

eyes eyes2

3. Brett Eldredge throws an impromptu karaoke bar crawl in Nashville. Sex on a stick, Brett confirmed what I’ve believed for many years now, that I should probably live in Nashville, when he posted an instavideo telling people to meet him at Warner Music if they wanted to do some karaoke. He then filled a party bus and went bar hopping with a bunch of strangers singing karaoke. Some of the songs he sang included: No Diggity, Ignition, Bang Bang, The Joker by Steve Miller Band and obviously he did his best impression of himself when he noticed his own songs were on the karaoke machine as well. My obsession with Brett grew three sizes and I wasn’t even there to witness this. If I was there I ABSOLUTELY would’ve knocked it out of the park with Bye, Bye, Bye. Brett could be the JC to my JT any day.

brett karaoke

Karaoke last night with my fans was bang bang BANGIN….I guess you could say we had fun😂

A post shared by Brett Eldredge (@bretteldredge) on

4. Missy Elliott’s music video dancer still goes HAM on those moves. While rest of the world quickly forgot about Missy after the Super Bowl I obviously did not and went on a binge of her classics so when I stumbled upon this video I felt it was necessary to share, to keep the Missy love alive. Alyson Stoner was like an 8 year old dancer in every single one of Missy’s music videos and she was a little white girl with puffy bangs who was G AF. Example:

bangs crump

She was also in Cheaper by the Dozen, Step up (s), and Mike’s Super Short Show for all you Disney kids like me. Naturally as fading stars do, Alyson caught a wiff of the Missy nostalgia and just made a Missy Tribute video (she ain’t dead yet gurl) showing off her moves from the music video days–mostly to hawk that she’s now a singer too, but we’ll let it slide. She’s still a straight up gangster and I’m big enough to admit my dance skillz are sub-par so it was cool to watch. All this buzz is probably leading up to a Missy comeback and I love every minute of it.

5. In honor of 50 Shades opening weekend, here’s the only appearance leading up to the premiere that didn’t make me cringe all over. Jamie Dornan on the Tonight Show doing some sexy accents and popcorn reading. If you’re going to see the movie this weekend just close your eyes and picture his buttery accent wafting over your body instead of bland.com Dakota Johnson/Anastasia meekly whispering her lines while the two of them exude the sexual tension of cardboard. Happy Valentine’s Day ❤

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