Oh look, another awards show that I CAN’T WATCH but any old with an antenna CAN. How does that make sense? If I have internet, I should be able to watch any awards shows. Those should be the rules. This is BLASPHEMY. But anyway, after I tried to steal everyone I’ve ever known’s cable and was met with an error message, I gave up and checked out the red carpet. When I saw this collection, I debated not even blogging it because it was slim pickins and those who showed up did not knock my socks off, but we just got red carpets back so the red carpet blog MUST GO ON.

WORST DRESSED

This is clearly a pic before their performance and it made me laugh out loud so let’s start on a high note. 7 guys who don’t even speak English and I’m 99% sure their songs are also in Korean and yet they’re wildly famous here for whatever reason. Only three of them have changed their hair color but the rest? WHY WOULD YOU ALL HAVE THE SAME EXACT HAIRSTYLE AND THEN ALSO WEAR THE SAME UNIFORM. Gun to my head I would never be able to tell these jabrone’s apart. They are one.

Everyone’s salivating at the fact that these two are making their first “public appearance” but like once you’re whoring yourselves all over social media for months and calling each other twin flames, a paparazzi photo on an awards show carpet really does nothing for me. Fashion-wise, the style of Megan’s dress is weird as hell and I’m not down with Machine Gun’s metallic boots, Aladdin pants and featured chesties.

This is quite a Jessica Rabbit lewk and I cannot approve this many bits being on display or a black part with bright red hair. I would say I’m too old for this look but Bebe is my age sooo…….

Doja Cat wore her Hocus Pocus Halloween costume a few weeks too late. 

These are like leather track pants and if it weren’t for the pocket decor, I might’ve let it slide.

GR8 Color Coordination but this gave me hoard PTSD to the early 2000’s and homecoming. 

I love an ocean theme as much as the next girl but one wrong move and this oyster is going to flash us her pearl.

“Drown me in fabric but leave a slit for a leg moment,” is what I assume Ciara told her stylist to do.

BEST

As host of the evening, I definitely have to give Taraji credit for going full speed at the drama with this outfit. It is quite a statement and you know I have a boner for sparkles.

Y’all know I hate the just stepped out of the shower soaking wet look that these celebs die for, but I can’t put the most famous person on this red carpet on the worst dressed list. It’s against every fiber of my being. JLo’s worst look is still better than your best and that’s pretty freaking obvious.

Can count on these two ragamuffins to bring the curl and the trendy suits.

Don’t know who this cat is but he wears toight pants well.

Probs my fave look of the night, which isn’t saying a lot but still a suit well done. Sexy and glam.

Another pic that made me uproariously laugh. I think it’s funny because you hear Lewis sing and he has phenomenal pipes and then you see him in real life and he looks like such a schlub. And he really leans into that. I mean he looks like he’s running late for algebra. I love a guy who’s like oh I’m famous and supposed to do things? Nah.

Since this is an ABC sanctioned event, it would be nothing without the latest Bachelorette. Clare who? Tayshia’s rack  and set of stems are here to stay.

Bell Biv DeVoe reminding us of a golden era where fedoras and primary colors ruled. Smooth as hell.