This is one of those awards show that I question if I’m too old for every year and the great news is, not yet! If you close the show with Salt n Pepa, En Vogue and DJ Spinderella spitting 90’s bangers, I’M STILL IN THE CUTOFF! Unfortunately, I am too old for like 90% of what the females chose to wear for this red carpet, which is unfortunate because this was a real female empowerment show.

WORST

Kewl one suspender, Gaston.

I’m convinced that Halsey just grabs a wig on her way out the door and tosses it on in the limo with how out of place it always looks on her head/body.

The bottom of this dress could dust my apartment and I’m over it.

Taylor hasn’t been on an awards show red carpet in 2 years and this was her comeback dress. Hard disapprove.

Salt n Pepa tried to dress like youths except that they’re no longer in youth shape.

Clashing prints and quite the baggy crotch for new dad John. We’ll forgive him because he showed up just to sing and flew back to Chrissy & the babies.

We needed a front and back view of this dress because although the sparkles dazzle me, Ciara basically rolled up naked.

This dress MUST be one size fits all because she is drowning in it.

I had a disgusting dress up dress when I was a kid that was made from this exact fabric and was a brighter hue of purple. Except it didn’t have a neckline that started at my waist.

I’m honestly perplexed by this. Did someone ravel her in pinstripe fabric from a spool and just let her start walking?

DEMI WHAT R U DOING? You can perform with Xtina but DO NOT take fashion tips from her!!! Slicked hair and a leopard print muumuu, no ma’am!

Ugh. Maren. A heart? Rly?

I am blown away by this look. Not only is it completely skanky to just roll up with a wide open, unbuttoned blazer but my friend and I dissected what happens when you sit down for far too long. But seriously. Unless she’s standing for this entire awards show, can we take a quick guess what’ll happen when she sits down? Her stomach will do all sorts of things. It’s called gravity. WHY WOULD A FEMALE WILLINGLY OPEN THEIR TOP UP TO SHOW THAT OFF?!

The inventor of smizing was really selling it here but nothing will sell this collar/sleeve ruffle.

This is lingerie.

Although this is a very Kesha outfit, I feel like if she maybe took one piece away from all the things she’s doing here I would’ve let it slide.

Love her hair and the color but all these mixed textures ruined it for me.

BEST

Wooooo Janet looking like the badass fairy godmother of the BBMA’s.

Don’t care what he’s shamelessly promoting here because it’s Pauly D and I love him and he’s wearing pineapple kicks.

Fun dress that doesn’t show any of her bits! Not quite sure about Evan’s bedazzled Cosby sweater tho.

This doesn’t even look like Mila Kunis (can we not make bangs a thing?) but it’s still a cute outfit.

I like this dress in theory but judging by the amount of times Hailey tugged at her boobs she clearly was uncomfy in it and this is why you don’t wear a dress where your girls hang loose and you have to constantly adjust it to prevent a nip slip. Tough stuff, lesson learned.

JESSE ❤

I want to toss this pic in front of JC and say this is how you do red boots.

I kinda just want this leather jacket for myself, tbh.

Host K. Clarkson in addition to being suuuuper obnoxious, rotated between varations of black dresses/suits with big belts and gold jewels. Slimming classic look.

Red hawt. Even the shades match!

Jenna Dewan gettin down in all leatha.

I feel like the guys showed up way more than the girls last night and I’m here for it! Showing the bros some fashion love.

FRESH SUMMER SUIT!

I’m so envious of this dramatic top bun. And also the dress is alright.

Although I find it absolutely mind-bottling that a comically round individual like DJ Khaled is the most sought after person to shout ANOTHA ONE or scream nonsense in the background of your song and take partial producing/writing credit, this aqua colored suit and matching kicks are mesmerizing. Credit where credit is due. Now back to hating him for ruining every good song on this earth. The. End.