Lookie, lookie what do we have here?! ANOTHER actual red carpet?! It seems like Hollywood is back ON and I’m here for it. Woke up this morning to hear about an awards show that doesn’t even matter and yet here I am scrambling to show you these looks. That’s what we in the biz call, starving for content. Here’s what the celebs wore to a fan popularity contest. (How Ellen won her fan’s votes is beyond me…might want to have someone look into that because I wouldn’t put it past her to rig it for good press.)

WORST

TROOP BEVERLY HILLS 9021-NO.

You’ll notice this evening’s trend of wear an exaggerated pantsuit was not cherished by me. WHAT is fashionable about drowning yourself in clown-sized polyester?

No to the dress which looks like it was purchased at Deb circa 1999 but also no to this pose.

This dress is the most unflattering and also the same color as her milky silver-tone skin. 

Oh ok, Dad. Did you get lost and stumble upon the grey (blue?) carpet?

Again with the suits. It’s a fan-voted awards show with a purple/pink ombre step and repeat behind you. It’s not a corporate retreat. Live a little.

Ok don’t live that much. This is a Jersey Shore dress and not in a good way.

Brad looks like he’s wearing a pirate costume. I much prefer when he’s switching wigs on his Instagram to act out all of the Housewives drama.

This TikTok star looks like she’s going to prom in a 90’s romcom.

BEST

CHRISTMAS QWEEN.

After I stopped drooling over that island-fresh tan, I was able to see that this outfit is cool as hell too. Very Euro chic.

Oh what a doll Mandy is with that aw, shucks grin and holding her baby bump.

Despite his hand hovering over his junk pose, I can always get down with the color teal.

This does absolutely nothing for her figure but I respect the fact that Demi is the host and basically showed up in glitter jammies. She also made jokes about her engagement so good for her 0 F’s Given approach.

You know I stan for a sparkly suit jacket.

Love this color and the cool guy boots.

 

Believe it or not I would’ve loved this more if the shirt was cropped and not hanging down to her mid-thighs like it’s a dress, but I can understand Ellen not being a crop chick. I still think it’s a cool outfit and something different in a sea of business separates.

LAAAHHHVEE the red lace and lip combo.

No clue what this outfit says, I’m assuming it’s probably a political statement because that’s how Hollywood rolls now, but it’s a good fit and her boobs are poppin.

I’ve seen Mario crush a carpet harder, but it wouldn’t be in good taste to put such a hunk muffin on the worst dressed list, so I’ll give him a pass.