Anyone sick of my bucket lists yet?
Cause I’m gonna be doing them until I kick that MF’ing bucket. In addition to bucket lists that I make for the places I live, the places I visit, and just the general lifelong list that I maintain, I decided, you know what? That’s actually not enough. I saw lots of youths making a 30 things to do before they turn 30 list and I was like ME TOO, ME TOO! I want in on the age-specific OCD list-making action! If you want the surface sentiment behind always doing lists it’s because I like to do fun things and I loooOoooOove making a thicc checkmark after accomplishing something. Supes satisfying. (That’s the Taurus in me.) The *~*REAL TALK~*~ and much deeper sentiment behind these lists? I have accomplished absolutely nothing I thought I would have by this age. And I have zero control over it. I cannot control finding a husband, getting the dream job, having enough money to pay for cool trips let alone having enough money to buy a house, perhaps having children, etc. But I CAN control having new experiences on a budget. Which is how I approached this list. I didn’t put anything outlandish or out of the realm of being accomplished, and I had a year to get after it. Also, 35 things is actually a lot and I may have cheated and double dipped in spots, but I don’t see any of you doing THIRTY FIVE new things in a limited time period so everybody just be cool. Here’s the list and a blurb for each experience in the order in which they were accomplished.
#1 Join a Travel Retreat & #15 Visit Greece
Kicking things off with a good ole fashioned double dip. Just call me Double D, Baby, because this trip was TOO large, TOO expensive, and TOO much of a disaster to not count for TWO checkmarks. I’ve wanted to visit Greece since I was a teenager, and I always thought about pushing myself out of my comfort zone and trying some sort of group trip or retreat. If you’ve been following along on my journey, you already know how it went. Never again!
#3 Attend A Concert Alone
Sandwiched the previous items with two solo concerts and again, not going to beat a dead horse even though that’s my favorite animal to beat, but I unfolded this saga in a two-parter after a very solo dolo June. A theme you’ll for sure see unfold from this entire list is that I already have an inkling on how the activity will go and I guh head and prove myself right. In the future, I’ll need a concert buddy always.
#10 Sit Front Row at a Concert
This one I fell into under incredibly unfortunate circumstances but it was a first time experience for me so ON THE LIST IT WENT. My sister is a magician at beating the Ticketmaster screw job when buying concert tickets and scored 2nd row to Old Dominion at CMAC. I’ve never seen them in concert nor have I ever been able to sniff at the stage, even in a General Admission show, so it was a pretty cool night. They put on an amazing, high-energy show, and I learned that they can actually see you when you sit that close, which made me very self-conscious. It also led to a very weird situation with the opening act where the fiddle player basically eye-banged me because I felt bad no one was seated for their set and wanted to show some encouragement so they didn’t think they were smelly losers. Bottom line here is that I don’t think I’m confident enough to be that visible by the talent. Also, not something I’ll ever need to worry about again as I’ve never once successfully gotten good seats nor can I afford them. Grateful I got to have this experience one time even though I would’ve much rather preferred a world in which the original ticketholder got to be there.
#20 Be A Mom For The Weekend
On the way to the Old Dominion concert, it was brought to my attention that my sister was looking to outsource her parenting for a much-needed mid-summer break and suddenly I was volunteered to step up. To which I replied: “I’m not old enough to be a mom.” She wasn’t concerned about basically a teenager being in charge of her kid, so that’s how I ended up being a mom for a weekend. Obviously I have spent much time with my niece and nephew and most women my age have several children to look after, but I had never been ridin solo longer than a babysitting stint. Certainly not overnight and away from any sort of backup. Would a boyfriend have been super helpful in pinch-hitting the sudden parenting in this circumstance? Of course, but God has not blessed me with a man who wants to hang out with me forever and therefore I was a single mom who works two jobs, who loves her kids and never stops. (This is only funny to anyone who knows how often I milk Reba’s song for sympathy when I’m in charge of the children.)
I made lots of plans to keep us busy with all the fun things the Jersey Shore has to offer, with a Taylor Swift party being the main event. I HOPE that I gave my 8 year old niece lots of fun experiences and memories and didn’t show her that I was actually having a full-on menty B. I hid in the bathroom and called my parents crying because there was not a quiet moment and I was expected to be “on” every second of every day. I had such a meltdown mid-weekend that I quit my freelance job because I couldn’t handle another thing annoying me in such a small period of time. It was a rash decision I’ve regretted every day since because without that job I cannot afford life. Here’s what I learned about me: I should not be a mom. I have a very quiet household and lots of little OCD daily routines, schedules, and organization. I sleep a lot. If I don’t get a tight 10 hours, I’m a mess. I get overstimulated by noise VERY easily. I hate when people ask me a lot of questions. As it turns out, none of these qualities lend themselves to having children in the house. So even though I love my niece so very dearly and I have so much fun with her. I must decompress from that fun immediately afterward and having 3 days with just me and her actually broke me. Here’s a highlight reel of all the things I hope she remembers about our weekend together and none of Auntie Juj being a snappy bitch. I’M A SURVIVOOOORRRRR.
#14 Make Business Cards
How cute are these?! Shout out Canva for letting me design a sunshiney biz card for cheaps, especially because I still have the entire box almost a year later.
#21 Attend a Networking Event
Obvsies these two go hand in hand. I got the biz cards made after attending my first networking event, giving out my state job business card and having SEVERAL people say why the hell are you at this networking event when you work for the state? Noted. I went to exactly two more networking events after getting those snazzy personal cards and pooped my pants at each one. Not literally, but as someone who has severe social anxiety, dropping me into a room full of strangers and forcing me to make the smallest of chats when everyone is standing in pre-formed circles with their backs turned to me is my own personal hell. However, I was so desperate after losing my second stream of income in July (because I couldn’t handle being in charge of a child and working) that this seemed like the only option to pick up some work.
I did end up scoring a much smaller freelancing gig through my few appearances but I also got creeped on by grown men (networking events are 98% male), and reminded by people who literally take networking more seriously than their job that not only am I bad at it because I don’t have a pitch or a dream job, but I’m also not bold enough to “put myself out there.” In one particularly direct moment, a woman told me I’m not going to get a job standing by myself at a networking event. Little did she know that not only was I standing by myself but I was also in a full flop sweat panicking about going up to a group to introduce myself. So, all in all, I’m terrible at networking and have been for my entire adult life. Cheers to pushing yourself out of your comfort zone and being validated as to why you maybe shouldn’t.
#9 Make an Ocean Resin Serving Tray
As soon as I moved to a place with an ocean, I finally had an excuse to put my already somewhat beachy decor on steroids. I’d seen these resin style crafts that mimicked the sea and knew I needed to make one. My crafting Queen of a mother came into town and we blew the waves into place. Not too shabby for a couple of beginners. Now my table has the perfect centerpiece.
#2 Visit a State I’ve Never Been to Before & #5 Ride a Ferry
For the 4 year anniversary of living in NJ, I always like to celebrate this monumental life change with a solo adventch and last summer I rode the ferry from Cape May, NJ to Lewes, DE. Can’t say I’ve ever been to Delaware, so I got I nice 2-for-1 checkmark on one day trip. Even though I could’ve swam faster than that ferry was moving, that didn’t stop me from getting seasick! Forever a boat lover whose body betrays her every time she sails the open seas. I saw about 16,000 jellyfish en route and when I parked myself on the beach on a swelteringly hot day, I realized that they were also blobbing around in the swimming area. I got in for about 1 second, got way too freaked out that I wouldn’t be able to see a jelly approaching, saw a small child scream bloody murder from getting stung and decided to cancel the beach day. I took a cold outdoor shower instead to cool off then biked around Lewes exploring the shops and most importantly, the espresso martinis. All in all, great success and would definitely take the ferry again to check out Rehoboth or Bethany Beach area (by car instead of bike) next time!
BONUS: ever the over-achiever, I also hit Michigan for the first time a month later, then Texas last week, so make that 3 states I’ve never been to.
#7 Get a Psychic Reading
I forever want to be a believer in psychics and mediums but have yet to have a goosebumps moment with anyone of this nature where I know they’re the real deal. After a very expensive and hokey session with a psychic medium last March, where I learned a “gentleman in a hat” is following me around, I decided to give it another go–sans the medium this time. A dinner group I had joined suggested doing a dinner and a reading at a local coffee shop that is home to “Starr”, well-known psychic in the area, and I said sign me up. Realistically I had nothing to lose. It wasn’t expensive and I was getting a social event of dinner with some cool girlies as part of the package deal. Ya girl Starr gave me a reading that I obviously took way too seriously and acted as if it was my guiding light for the next few months until the due date came and she was proven wrong. Now I know never to give Starr my money again and I went into 2026 with my only resolution being that it’s time to quit astrology, woo-woo energy, manifestations, and just raw-dog life as a human who doesn’t know what’s coming for me…good or bad. Below is Starr’s reading, which I can now release into the universe because it was a big ole load of bullshit.
#6 Watch a Movie at the Beach
The weather really boned me on this one. I had checked all of the schedules all summer long and settled on a Thursday night showing of E.T. (a movie I’ve never seen) right at my local beach. The wind acted up that night and I missed the rescheduled date, so I was forced to catch the last movie of the summer in another town and that movie was none other than The Wizard of Oz, which I absolutely hate. So I hate-watched a movie at the beach. Here’s what was great though, I peeped a cotton candy sunset with my feet in the sand, it was the PERFECT temperature for a hoodie and a blanket, I came fully stocked with dollar store snacks, and I got to hear the sounds of the sea in addition to the wicket witch of the west’s cackle. Cannot recommend it enough to catch a movie at the beach sometime in your life.
#30 Visit a New Ballpark
Friends of the program know that in the past 5 years or so, my dad and I have been actively trying to visit every MLB ballpark. This year’s trip brought us to Comerica Park, home of the Detroit Tigers and American Family Field, home of the Milwaukee Brewers. Most importantly, this trip was the debut of my brand new hot dog purse, which I love more than anything I’ve ever owned. Detroit WENT APESHIT for the wiener satchel and I was quite literally stopped on the streets for compliments, in addition to receiving MANY within the ballpark. Milwaukee didn’t give a flying brat. And I think we all know which park/city I favored. All jokes aside, Detroit’s park ranked near the top of the list. It’s right downtown and central to the city’s activity, it has a full-blown amusement park within it including a baseball ferris wheel, and the food was good. However, Milwaukee’s brat toss and mascot that slides down a spiral slide in his own chalet for a homerun were notable as well.
BUZZER BEATER BONUS: I added in two more ballparks before the big day, classic overachiever move, so technically this item gets three extra bonus points. (All credit to dear ole Dad who is my financial backer for all things MLB.) Globe Life Field in Arlington and Daikin Park in Houston were hit B2B on my birthday trip this year. And folks, they are not close to each other. Again, more credz to Dad who did the 9 hour drive RT so we could check off Houston. In fact, I complained at one point how I never wanted to see the inside of that car again and he told me that I’m not the one driving so zip it. Touché. Arlington’s hot spot has the ball park, the dome where the Dallas Cowboys play, and a fun conglomerate of bars and restaurants called Texas Live! all on the same property. We had bad espresso martinis and listened to live music before going into the park. Love a ballpark with fun things to do in addition to the game. Unfortunately, I received very few compliments on the hot dog purse, and their “dollar dog night” consisted of offering hot dogs that they pulled out of the bottom of the trash can for a dissy, or asking if you wanted to pay full price ($7) for an edible hot dog. Do better, Rangers.
Houston had the roof closed (thankfully as it was 100 degrees) but it didn’t feel like a ball game to me. Their park was underwhelming and also in a very unsavory neighborhood. BUT, they friggin LOVED my wiener purse. AND their hot dog was suuuuuper juicy and delish. Plus, I branched out and indulged in some Mexican street corn minus the Mexican (too spicy) so basically as the woman said to me with the most judgment, “you just want mayonnaise and cheese?” YEAH BABE, I DO. And you know what? It was delicious.
#16 Bike over the 35 Bridge
As someone who really only rides a beach cruiser to get ice cream, I always like to see how far I can push it on a bike. I think this is because I’m somewhat delusional when it comes to how in shape I am. (anyone remember Covid where I told myself I could bike 20 miles and trained all summer to do so?) This was kinda like that. I’ve already taken long bike rides, I’ve taken my bike on a friggin boat and used it to explore a new town (this was actually a true test on if I should own a bike because I quite literally almost rolled it right to my seat with me until several crew members waved at me like a lunatic and told me to park it.) So it only seemed natural to try to tackle the 35 bridge. To all you Benny’s, this is the bridge that connects Point Pleasant to the Northern shore towns (Brielle, Manasquan, Belmar, etc.) It’s a draw bridge and if you’re running late to be somewhere, you can pretty much guarantee that drawbridge will be up and you’ll sit for a solid 20 mins until it comes back down. The downside of livin where everyone vacays, I guess.
I biked all summer long to get my leg strength back up…and my wind strength. You can be a good little biker and if that wind is gusting off the sea, GOOD LUCK. It’s like pedaling in place. By the end of September I licked my finger and stuck it into the breeze on a Saturday and said TODAY IS THE DAY. My plan was to bike OTB, go to my fave bar overlooking a marina just at the other end, get a drink as a reward, and cruise home. Since I’m a worst case scenario thinker, I assumed I’d have to do the cyclist walk of shame over the bridge because of wind and/or incline and needed a bike buddy for this embarrassing moment so I voluntold my fellow PPB pal she had to come with me. Happy to report we built it up to be WAY harder than it actually was and the incline was so gradual that I barely needed to change gears. WHAT A WIN! Full video below…Wordpress and Instagram don’t get along anymore to embed, which is why I’ve been tossing lots of Toks in the mix.
https://www.instagram.com/p/DPMWTQ2jdMk
#35 Recreate a Childhood Photo
Thought this would be so easy that I’d recreate like 10 different photos throughout the year. LOLZ. Not only do I need clothing similar to those in the photo, I also need someone willing to be the precise photographer and recreate the scene. Which are both actually quite difficult! So hopefully I did this one justice. Proud of the fact that my mom kept the same apron and bowls from the original shot. We did our best. AM I STILL CUTE?! If only baby Juge knew what a hot commodity a bare foot pic would be in adulthood. Sad to report Ssips went out of biz.
#24 Ride a Horse
Ride a horse has been on VARIOUS bucket lists for roughly the past 8 years. No one has ever wanted to do it with me. Turns out people don’t really feel great about trusting a giant animal to not kill them…how LAME. I was set to go solo on this mission after asking quite literally everyone I know until something told me to step out of my comfort zone and float the idea to some new friends at the dog park and WE GOT A TAKER! Thank God because I was honestly terrified. You don’t have the episode of Full House where Michelle falls off her horse and loses her memory on VHS and not allow that to give you PTSD around horses. Though it was a genius plot line to get both twins in the same room when her “memory” comes back, it was still a traumatizing moment of my youth. Thankfully, my little coffee & horses Sunday morning went exactly how I wanted it to go. I chose a Fall weekend so the leaves would be POPPIN, and thoroughly researched places that allowed just any joe schmo to mount a horse. This particular place also offered a pre-ride bonfire with coffee and bagels. I would absolutely make this an annual tradish because not only did the horses move so slowly you’d have thought they were chained together on a for sure abusive carousel at a county fair, but I got to soak in nature and pretend to be a cowgirl. Hot tip for all you city folk, stuff falls out of a horse’s nethers pretty much 24/7. I got a real zoomed-in personal viewing of lots of number ones and two’s that I’ll never be able to erase from my mind’s eye. But that’s just country livin, folks. Here’s the beauty of a trail ride and none of the bathroom biz.
#31 Cruise to Lady Liberty
Since I moved close enough to skedaddle into the city, I wanted to do all of the cheesetastic tourist things that foreigners get to do in NYC. Getting my peepers on Lady Libs was one, but if you’re gonna be a nerd, why not go full send and hit Ellis, Lady, and then climb into her crown?! So that’s how Den and I found ourselves boating down the Hudson on a very chilly November day. If you’re going to check out our Queen and you happen to leave from Liberty State Park AKA the Jerze side, here’s some wisdom from someone who missed the first ferry and had to wait another 40 mins…the people who work there are stupid. You have to go through a full-blown airport security style checkpoint in order to board the boat. Go find that. On your own. There’s no signs or anything. You just have to know that’s what you’re supposed to do.
Here’s what I’ll say about Statue City Cruises, they’re pretty smart. They’ve cornered the market as the only OFFICIAL cruise to each historical site which allows them to take your money and be pretty terrible at it. But what’re you gonna do? Swim there instead?! I hadn’t anticipated just how annoying it would be to time everything around the running of the ferries and we pretty much gave up on Ellis Island almost immediately. It was underwhelming to say the least. I just wanted to see our family’s name from when they came through and the movie Hitch made me believe you could just walk up to a giant book and flip through to the G’s and be like hey there’s great grandpa! Instead they have a computer lab where they charge you to Google your name. Cut the shit, Ellis Island. The real meat and potatoes was of course ya GURL Lady Liberty. She snatched as hell and I know because I was all up IN HER. We climbed 377 steps into her crown and that was NOT for the faint of heart. Or the overweight community. Real tight squeeze in that spiral staircase and certainly no guard rails, so if say you’re filming yourself walk up the stairs and you drop your phone, that shit GONE. I read the room quickly and realized I was not coordinated enough to suck in, climb stairs, and film, so you get what you get with this video. My thighs were BURNIN the next day.
#23 See the Rockettes at Radio City
Gams took my older sisters to see the Rockettes either when I was a baby or before I was born. CLASSIC CASE OF THE YOUNGEST CHILD GETTING SCREWED. I demanded that Den make up for this massive mistake that wasn’t even his to begin with or my childhood would be RUINED. He understood the assignment because if we got seats any closer we would’ve had to perfect the high kick and I’ll let you in on a little secret: just a couple weeks later when I was home for Christmas, I greeted my dad as any mature 34 year old woman would do and shouted, “HOW WAS YOUR DUMP” as I shot my leg into the air in an epic high kick. Unfortunately, I am not a Rockette, and I was wearing socks on a hardwood floor. I went down so fast and so hard, my dad was actually speechless. Hard to do (for those of you who don’t know my dad, he never shuts his trap.) Needless to say, it was best that we stayed seated at Radio City. The show was great!!! My favorite part was being THAT close and trying to find the weak link, especially during the infamous toy soldiers routine. Spoiler alert: there was none. All of these ladies knew not to spike their limbs in the air on a slippery floor without the proper footwear. Must be a requirement.
#33 Go to Drag Show/Brunch
What’s more fun than turning your own bucket list into Christmas gifts for others?! If you haven’t caught on yet, I’ve tormented everyone around me with doing at least one item on this list for an entire calendar year. My mom said she wanted to see a drag show, so MERRY CHRISTMAS MOM, LET’S WATCH MEN SHAKE THEIR PROSTHETIC RACKS TO FESTIVE TUNES! We had a real hoot of a girls day in the Syracuse hotspot: Carousel Mall. (You’re an imposter if you call it Destiny USA.) Having never attended a cross-dressing event, I thought the ticket price was v reasonable. Well, it is reasonable because you’re expected to line their non existent cleavage with dolla dolla bills for the entirety of the performance. Learn somethin new every day! It’s essentially like walking down a popular street in Europe full of panhandlers except that the panhandlers are wearing very intricate costumes and lip syncing to dirty songs. It was lots of fun and also very eye-opening. Definitely a solid idea by me to go to a drag show in the spirit of Christmas with my mom and my first grade teacher.
#29 Hang with a Highland Cow
Shout out to Instagram for this one because I didn’t even know highland cows existed, let alone that you could co-mingle with them as a weekend activity until I was served not one but TWO local farms that offer this excursion. Since I’m somewhat of a wild animal whisperer out here riding horses, walking alpacas, holding roo’s and feeding giraffes, it only made sense to keep checking creatures off the list that I’ve kicked it with. My friend had accompanied me for the Alpaca walk and it felt right to join forces again for the cows. Except this time she was pregnant and touching wild livestock is frowned upon when you’re not even allowed to eat cold cuts. So I made sure to really get in there and roll around on the ground snuggling with Marshmallow here to make forcing my pregnant friend to sit in an unheated barn with smelly farm animals loudly mooing and also having to pee in a porta-potty with v unsavory conditions REALLY WORTHWHILE. Seriously, all of the awards to my girl Vicki for putting up with any of this. Just because I wanted to pet a cow. BUT LOOK AT THAT LITTLE SMOOCH SNOOZIN IN MY LAP LIKE SHE DOESN’T WEIGH 400 LBS. I always like to learn the most facts about the animals I’m spooning with so I can leave basically an expert on their kind, but this event was 90% doing a craft and 10% hangin with animals so I didn’t get a true education but I did leave with a seaglass craft that I could’ve done at home for 1/4 of the price and these priceless pics so that’s all that really matters, I guess. And I scarred my friend for life. She saw someone get horned while trying to take a pic. So I guess we can assume highland cows can get fresh.
#22 Make Seashell Art
I put this on the list to light a fire under my ass because I’ve been collecting shells for years now and storing them like squirrels store a nut, with the intention to “do something cool” with them someday. It was getting out of hand. So I traced the outline of New Jersey and started glue-ing. This was my New Year’s Eve project that really took just a few days of placing shells and getting very sticky fingers and voila, you have a map of my new home state, filled with my treasures. I attempted to put a colored shell where I “think” Point Pleasant is to indicate where I landed in the Garden State but folks, I am not a geography whiz, so don’t fact check me on that. Also pretty jazzed that I found my own sand dollar for the tip.
#28 Write Book Draft Numero Dos
What I wouldn’t give to be like and here’s the link to my memoir, buy it, buy it, buy it, buy it TODAY! (The Andy Milonakis Show joke that no one will get but brought me much joy to type.) Unfortunately, when I unearthed the whole-ass book I wrote during the fever dream that was the entire world shutting down due to a strain of the flu for a year, almost all of it was embarrassingly bad. Like cringing while reading bad. So my initial goal of publishing said book anytime soon was a little lofty after realizing I’d also have to re-write the damn thing.
Here’s a fun fact about me: I’m super motivated. I love hobbies. I can’t sit still. Yet, when it comes to writing, and knowing it’s going to be hard/will not flow out of me and probably will make me want to smash my laptop to pieces…I’ll do anything else on this earth before sitting down to write for even 10 mins. I’ve heard of all the tricks. I’ve heard of morning pages and accountability partners. Of writing the shitty draft first. Of changing your environment or doing exercises to get the creative juices flowing and stop writer’s block. All of it. I know it. And yet, I’d rather clean my floors with a toothbrush than sit and write something I should write. Which is why I’d never make a dime as a writer. I told myself that it was reasonable to write a new draft of the book. I basically have an outline and some salvageable chapters to work with. Winter was going to be my time to hammer it out. Except winter came and I would rather couch rot and watch Netflix, or read, or do any of the 9,000 crafts I’ll show you in this list alone.
I had a weekend set aside to dog-sit at a friend’s house and I told myself this was it. It’s not my house. I cannot possibly distract myself from this anymore. It’ll be like a writer’s retreat. And I can confidently say that I did spend several hours reading through my craptastic old book and editing chapters. Did I spend probably half of the first hour taking artsy pictures of my manuscript next to my friend’s fireplace and finding the perfect “cozy spot” to write? Yea, duh. And did I reward myself with a little treat every time I got through a chapter? Also yea, duh. But I started.
And then a few weeks later I went to a seminar held by a published children’s book author who self-published and I found out that just to do the work myself and list it on Amazon, it’ll cost me $5,000. That is the bare minimum. Guess who has written a book draft and a half and doesn’t have a spare 1K let alone 5K? THIS GAL. So that’s where the book draft went to die. No sense in continuing to torture myself so that it can sit for another 5 years and be bad when Future Julia reads it again and realizes she has to re-write it. So for all intents and purposes (because I did actually TRY) we’re checking this item off. I can’t afford to publish a book that only my family will buy and I’ll just keep spewing stories on here when I feel the urge to get it out into the ether.
#11 Go to an NHL Game
I’ve been to NBA, MLB, & MLS games so it only made sense to cosplay as a puck slut for a night! Also, I’ve been unsuccessfully trying to get someone to go to a Devils game with me since I moved here and TIME WAS UP. I assembled a wolf pack from the dog park to spend a -20 degree night in the beautiful and very safe city of Newark. Little did any of us know, the player we were gossiping about at the game who had just started dating the latest pop star hoochie mama would go on to score the game-winning goal for Team USA in the Olympics a month later and then embark on a press tour missing his front tooth. Guess you could say I was there when it all began. Even though I never had the slightest idea what was going on down on the ice, watching a game live is always a zesty energy and I very much enjoyed the badass Jersey-centric intro, people watching, and waiting for a fight. I did not enjoy the merch prices. Bend me RIGHT over. Go Devils.
#12 Treat Myself to a Spa Day
I went budget-style and therefore co-mingled with a lot of strange hair. Dive into that horror story here.
#32 Crochet a Chunky Blanket
I am no stranger to the dark depths of winter and that’s why this list has a lot of solo dolo crafts/activities. Typically I hibernate like a bear in the winter full of despair with no will to live until I can get down to Florida for some sunshine and baseball in March. No one predicted the fuck-ass winter we got served this year. With ice and snow and that FUCKING wind, I was couch-bound for weeks on end. Unless of course it was time to take my dog out so she could stare at me like how the hell am I supposed to drop a deuce on a skating rink? Needless to say, teaching myself via video how to hand-knit a blanket was very soothing in a time when going outdoors made me want to blow my brains out. Since my thearpist was the one to suggest this item for the list, I gifted it to her, and since then have had no problem draping it over my body whenever I’m in her office and want to get comfy for a yap sesh. The thing has Charlee hairs woven into it so I feel right at home.
#34 Make Pasta From Scratch
It’s true that whilst studying abroad in Italy, my parents came to visit and we touristed our faces off for a week, including doing a cooking class where we made pasta, meat sauce, and tiramisu from scratch. As I was merely 20 and surrounded by couples on their honeymoon as well as third-wheeling with my parents, I barely participated in this class. I drank wine and ogled the babe soda of a sous chef. Now that I’m a grown-up with very few cooking and baking skillz, I thought it was time to run it back and see if I really have Italian roots. Since my mom tried to teach me Nana’s sauce recipe a few years back and I learned that half of the recipe lives in her head and I’d never be able to make Yoli proud, I decided to stick to the recipes we wrote down in Italy.
I recruited my ex boyfriend for this activity because this was the only thing amongst 35 items that he was even remotely interested in doing. And then the two of us got buzzed off espresso martinis (which I also made…is there anything she CAN’T DO?!) and promptly ruined this dinner. There is something she can’t do, folks, and that is use common sense when there’s a recipe written out in front of her. My mom wrote the recipe (perhaps after the wine because there was more than one questionable item listed) and I was hellbent on following it to a T, even when my co-chef was adamant that we should drain the fat from the meat. And once it was too late and we called my mom for backup, we were met with a resounding ALWAYS DRAIN THE MEAT. Hand up, I fudged this one up. The pasta itself was fine. But it was bathing in a very greasy meat soup. Also, my Nana’s sauce is a thick red sauce that we ADD meats too. I had confused the two and as it turns out, I don’t actually like meat sauce. So that’s how we ended up cooking for several hours and then throwing out an entire pot of sauce. I would make pasta again someday, but someone else better handle the sauce. I know my Italian ancestors are spitting on me from the heavens. Sorry I don’t know how to make gabagool.
BONUS: In addition to blanket making, seashell glue-ing, writing, and painting this winter, I got bored enough one Christmas weekend that I wanted to try making cookies from scratch for the first time. After many FaceTimes with mother where I cried about how hard it is to measure things, I successfully made almond cookies and peppermint mocha cookies to share with my neighbors. Then I liked making my own sweet treats and sharing them so much I did it again a couple months later when the internet was out for 2 days because I still had ingredients left. WHAT A COOKING AND BAKING RENAISSANCE FOR MOI!
#25 Dance in a Rainstorm
Not everything needs to be painstakingly planned! Cinners and I were walking Charlee and the skies opened up offering the perfect opp to do the Jersey turnpike on the side of a road while God literally made it rain on dem hoes. It’s impossible to take yourself seriously when you’re sopping wet from rain, holding your dog’s poop, grooving to absolutely no music because Spotify wasn’t working due to the fat raindrops collecting on our phone screens. That’s livin in the moment, baby.
#13 Go Line Dancing
Another thing that I’ve casually presented in conversation to everyone I’ve ever known for about 7-10 years. I don’t have ANY business doing any movement-based activity as my lack of rhythm and/or coordination is astounding. And yet, I keep wanting to try. And that’s what’s fun about my personality. I know I’ll be bad at it and for some reason I still hold on to a tiny piece of hope that it actually won’t be THAT bad and I’ll have a miraculous transformation like celebrities do on Dancing with the Stars. (Important to note: those celebs are paired with pros and I went to a bar for a weekly line dancing night.) I wrangled my mom for this one and I think she mostly agreed so she could buy a new cowgirl fit.
We pulled on our boots and yeehaw’ed over to the River Rock for Stomp n’ Stride’s Thursday night of bootscootin. We made everyone we locked eyes with aware that we were n00bs and we’d need much attention/were already embarrassed. Everyone was amazing and kind and encouraging, telling us it looks intimidating but we just need to hop in and give it a try. The best comparison I can make is when everyone at Rydell High knows the Hand Jive and I just got dropped onto the dance floor from another high school on another planet. We watched about 1 hour of people spinnin and stompin and clappin in unison at warp speed. There was no “hoppin on in.” If we had, we would’ve created a pile-up. Also, if I wanted to even ATTEMPT to follow someone in the front row, there’s so much turning in circles that eventually I’m the front. So that’s a fun new fear that got unlocked! There were exactly two “lessons” in the entire night (false advertising for sure that this was beginner-friendly) and those lessons were pointless because they were just as fast and difficult. MY ANKLES DON’T MOVE THAT QUICKLY WHILE MY TOP HALF IS TWISTIN, MA’AM. I gave up halfway through the first lesson and then stuck it out on the last one only because it was to Galway Girl and that song slaps. But make no mistake, I looked like the spazziest of spaz. Never once did I do a move correctly or face the right direction. And that’s all for line dancing, folks!
#27 Make an Art Wall for all the Places I’ve Lived
Since 17 I’ve lived in Syracuse, Saratoga, Poughkeepsie, (Saratoga and Syracuse again), Boston, (Saratoga and Syracuse again), and New Jersey. When I decided I could never move out of state again and needed to cut the shit with starting over somewhere new about a year ago, I thought wouldn’t it be nice to make a tribute gallery wall to all of the places I’ve lived? And then I spent this entire winter deciding I needed to move out of New Jersey and looking at moving down south. So I think it’s safe to say I’ll probably move again as I continue to get priced out of everywhere I’ve resided, but now I have a lovely art wall of all my homes to move to my next home. Maybe one day I’ll actually OWN a home?! Say home again. I take a photo every second of every day and because of that impulse hobby, my boring white walls are covered in my own pictures of all the places I’ve lived. But for this gallery wall, I wanted to display other people’s art. So that’s how I ended up turning into an art curator this year. I like how it turned out and will obviously keep adding to it, especially if I move for the 8 billionth time in my adult life.
#17 Break Shit at a Rage Room
We’re petering off now with lots of underwhelming items because much like any list, you get the big swings out of the way and save the easy peasy stuff for last because you know you’ll be able to get that done. Art for my wall, writing with strangers, writing alone, and paying OUT THE ASS to break Goodwill dishes for a VERY brief twenty minutes. If I had any sort of area where I didn’t have to be worried about a stray shard of broken glass, I would absolutely have done this for myself and not paid a business to break shit. It was almost $70 with tip (because of course we have to tip the employee who is already paid to clean this glass up) for 20 minutes of breaking. Except it wasn’t unlimited breaking in 20 minutes, it was a counted number of glass plus ONE electronic and what constitutes as an electronic is a keyboard. Everything was from Goodwill and still had the price stickers on it so I can confirm they didn’t spend more than 20 dollars on this glass, if they even bought it…Goodwill might donate if they need to get rid of product. My weapons of destruction were a bat, a crowbar, a nightstick type thing, a sledgehammer and a hammer. So not to burst the bubble of consumerism America, anyone could create a rage room if they really wanted to. Fo free. In fact, I’ve dropped so many of my pint glasses that I’ve been collecting in the past 5 months that my kitchen is essentially a rage room. That being said, there is no release quite like throwing glass at a wall or wailing on a keyboard until every key pops out. So the actual FEELING of breaking shit? Elite. The cost of it? BULLSHIT. Also I filmed myself thinking it would look so badass and then laughed out loud when I watched the footage back. Total Geekburger.
#26 Attend a Writing Event
I’ve been trying to find an in-person writing event since I started getting more into humor writing. EVERYTHING is zoom and soOoOoOoo awkward. I’ve done a handful of weird webinar classes that I’ve paid too much for, and then I thought the writing retreat would be the perfect experience to motivate me to get the juices flowing for my book AND learn from a published author. HA. And ever since last June, I’ve been ferociously trying to find an occasion to write with or learn from other writing humans. As it turns out, not really in a great location for writers to kick it. There’s stuff in the city or up North near the city, but down here at the beach, no one wants to get together and write, I guess.
I found exactly one writing group called Project Write Now and they meet once a month in Asbury Park for “Write Out Loud.” So I gave it a try in April. And it was about as uncomfy as everything else I just cold-call show up to without knowing what to expect. We sat in a circle, we did ice breakers that gave me PTSD to being in school and brought back my weird shaky voice when everyone is staring at me, and then we did lots of writing games and exercises that I also wasn’t expecting. Loads of participation for ya girl. BIG yikes. There was even a tossing of a beanie toy for rhyming, which meant I had to be coordinated AND use my brain. Terrifying! I survived the sesh, which was difficult considering the theme of the month was poetry and I’ve never once written a poem. But I shall never return. Here’s my souvenir, a poem we collectively wrote by passing our notebooks around the circle for everyone to write a line. I wrote the first and last lines.
#19 Keep a Journal for a Year
I can remember a handful of times I’ve maintained a diary/journal. Sixth/Seventh Grade, Junior year of college whilst studying abroad in Italy, and Covid. The first diary I revisit often when I want to feel completely embarrassed for my pre-teen existence. Or I want to remember what it’s like to write with pastel milky gel pens. The second diary is fun to read and reminisce when I peaked in life, gallivanting around a foreign country on my parent’s dime. And the third is quite literally a piece of history and if I wanted to, I could submit it to a Covid collection. But instead, I turned half of it into a book that never got published. So I’d say it was the most productive round of journaling I’ve done. The past couple of years have been particularly roof stoof on the life front (not that the last decade has really been peaches and cream) so I felt like it was a good time to really stick with a journal for a whole year and record/process my feelings. It was an undertaking. I have A LOT of feelings. And A LOT of stuff has happened in two years. My hand cramped many a time and there were weeks when I was so overwhelmed because I had too much to write so I put off my Sunday night journal routine, which then just piled up more shit to write about. But I soldiered through. Happy to say that I journaled roughly once a week for a year. Bet you’d like to see what I wrote about but NOT SO FAST. It’s PRIVATE. If you want the goss, you’ll have to KILL ME FIRST! No but actually, when I croak, those journals (much like the REAL list of people who are dead to me) will be released for public consumption at my funeral. And I’ll watch the chaos from above. The grand finale.
Ok, we’ve reached the end of our satisfying checks. Here to report with a tear in my eye that the next three items have a GASH through them rather than a thicc checkmark next to them because unfortunately, I failed. I did not accomplish three items on the list by the time the clock struck twelve on May 15th, 2026. I will add a sad explanation as to why I couldn’t make it happen for each item, because I love to yap. If you don’t care to hear my tiny violin, skip to the three bonus items that I HAD to add in so we maintained the number 35.
#4 Be in the Audience at a Late Night Show
In August, I submitted myself for the SNL ticket lottery with this email:
My name is Julia and I’d like to enter the ticket lottery for Saturday Night Live for the 2025-2026 season. As a hobby satire writer myself, it would be a dream come true to be able to see the most iconic satirical sketch show live and in person! I would be a great addition to your studio audience because I have a great laugh and I love to have a good time. I also laugh when things are awkward or uncomfortable, so it’s a real win for the cast if there happens to be a lull or some of their material isn’t quite hitting with the crowd. You can always count on me to be a supportive member of the audience.
A little more info about me, I’m obsessed with making bucket lists and planning fun adventures. In May of 2026, I’ll be turning 35 and I thought, what better way to celebrate that milestone than by making a “35 things to do before I turn 35” bucket list?! Being at 30 Rock for SNL is on the bucket list…so no pressure or anything, but you could give me the satisfaction of checking that off if you were to pick me for this lottery! I greatly appreciate the consideration and hope to hear from you this season.
I…was not chosen.
My dad entered the same lottery with something about Lorne owing him $5 and he’d like to collect.
He…was also not chosen.
Then I found out that every late night show is some sort of lottery and the Jimmy Fallon (the next one I’d be interested in going to after SNL, is near impossible to get tix for.)
So, all that to say, this could not be accomplished because it’s all based on luck and HAHA I’ve never been lucky for one minute of my life. I even put up a thirsty hail mary post in March tagging all social accounts hoping someone might take pity on me. Still a no.
#8 Go to a Strip Club
As it turns out, people are much more willing to sashay into a strip club in their teens and twenties. Not so much mid-thirties and above. It was something I’ve wanted to do since I was in my teens and twenties, but never had guy friends/a big group of friends who were like wouldn’t it be funny to go to a strip club?! I know I will be grossed out by it, I also know I will be fascinated by the people-watching potential. Alas, after hammering everyone I knew for a year, actually RESEARCHING strip clubs in the city (nerd alert…I do not belong in a strip club if I’m doing in depth research on establishments that allow nudity), finding out that male strip clubs are illegal, which is honestly discriminatory against straight women who just want to ogle some dong, and also hearing that a strip club in NYC could bankrupt me, I finally decided to let it die. One day I will get a cliche strip club night straight out of a movie. That day just did not fall in the last 365. Keep me in your T’s and P’s that I’ll see some tasteful public nudity at some point in this life.
#18 Knicks Game at the Garden
If I’m ever a billionaire or end up boning a billionaire, I’ll get to see the Knicks play at the Garden. Otherwise, I’ll settle for the time I did see them play, at Wells Fargo against the Sixers, where they won. Would’ve loved to have an iconic noisy NYC home crowd for a team that is *as of writing time of this blog* (I’m not a jinx if by publication this is not true) in the playoffs. I ALSO tried to get MSG or the Knicks organization to make-a-wish me some free tix. Clearly, they did not think a 35 year old woman who would rather die than leave an item unchecked was someone in need. PS TickPick sent me the prices for the Eastern Conference Finals with the Knicks and the Cavs and tickets started at $500 for game one. Lolz hope that rat-faced Timmy Chalamet knows how privileged he is to be front row for every game.
Bonus #4: Watch the Moon Rise from a Lighthouse
I’m adding this one in, because I did it, I’ve never done it before, and I’ll probably never do it again, and clearly I fell short of my projected 35 items. If by this point you don’t realize how much of a type A psychopath I am, let me put it in writing that not accomplishing all 35 items may or may not ruin my entire year. Yes, I’m that dramatic. When I realized in April that three wouldn’t be crossed off, I ferociously started brainstorming 3 substitutes and then was trying to drag unsuspecting and unwilling friends into completing new tasks in 2 weeks time with me and FINALLY had to admit defeat before someone offed me in my sleep just so I never tried to bucket list again. BUT falling short of my goals is not going to stop me from looking back on a very eventful year and counting activities like this one.
I found an adorable little orange supermoon themed date night at a lighthouse, and took myself on out there for a romantic picnic as the sun set and a climb to the top of the lighthouse to watch that big ole orange blob ascend into the sky. Super cool, but also may or may not have permanent brain damage from the amount of times I smashed my head directly into the low entryway ceiling into the top of the lighthouse. For reference, I climbed each lighthouse before going up for the big show, so that’s three (possibly more?) times that I stupidly didn’t duck when I should’ve and left my brain matter splattered all over the steps. If you think I’m stupid, please know that I am, but I ALSO was wearing a hat, which cut all of my above the head and peripheral vision. It’s the hat’s fault I couldn’t see the metal heading straight for my dome piece. Not mine.
Bonus #8: Visit Buc-ee’s
I’ve been hearing about this beaver’s glorified convenience store/gas station/merch emporium FOREVA and I legitimately forgot that they were Texas-based until a day before my trip when I saw a headline about Buc-ee’s expanding and I’ve never been more excited. I immediately looked up the closest Buc’s to the rental house and told my dad to BUCkle up. And can you honestly complete a BUCket list without a beaver who wears a tiny red hat named Buc-ee?! Nah, son. There are no words to describe this establishment other than excess. I could’ve spent 4 hours wandering around this massive store and still have things to look at. Sadly, I was accompanied by a man, and men have no patience for shopping. Rookie mistake to show him the jerky wall first because then he got what he wanted and was ready to bounce. Should’ve saved his dry chewy meat reward for after the merch madness. And it was MADNESS. If you dream something up, they sell it with that lil beav’s face on it. And I am a well-known merch monster. Credit to me, I was able to narrow it down to just a hat and a tank top for myself, and then bought for others. Honestly I considered the leopard one piece with Buc’s face all over it for longer than appropriate. I went to Buc-ee’s a total of 3 times on my four-day vacation and should I just move to Texas so I can be near Buc’s and go every day? LMK.
Bonus #18: Experience America’s ONLY Cattle Drive
Lolz to me just pulling items out of a cow’s ass at this point to hold myself accountable for a list that I MADE UP. On my birthday, I decided to go back to a time of saloons and shootin pistols at the Fort Worth Stockyards. Part of this experience is a cattle drive. Literally had no clue what this meant but seemed like a kewl thing to get my peepers on. Twice a day they do this and it’s QUITE an attraction. People line the streets and there was such a buildup that I half expected the cattle to come right up for pets the way everyone was clamoring for a good spot. It was just a demonstration of how cattle got from one state to another pre-transportation. They walked. A LOT. So for exactly five minutes at 4pm on my birthday, I watched a cluster of cows walk from one end of the block to another. Riveting stuff, guys. Did it. Never need to do it again. I WILL say that I did learn cattle horns have live nerves and blood vessels in them. #TheMoreYouKnow I also watched the hooch next to me alternate between a digital camera and her phone and take no less than 16,000 selfies, which made me want to go back to a time where walking with cows across state lines was a BFD.
I also rode a bull. Thank God Den was there to wrangle that beast or I would’ve been TOAST.
If you’re keeping score, my bonus points are THROUGH THE ROOF. Winner winner, chicken dinner. Thank you to everyone who I badgered endlessly all year to accomplish items with me. I appreciate youse. Bucket listin is the most fun when done with others! But this one dominated my life and every conversation for a year so thankfully it is being put to rest. Back to your regularly scheduled program of non-age specific BL’s. That is, until I turn FORTY!!!
The Salty Ju 