Week of 4/22/19

There’s never been a time when Taylor Swift hasn’t released new music and/or video that I haven’t immediately blogged about it, so here we are. Happy Tay DAY….again! Can we just start by bowing down to her marketing genius? Because anyone who drops clues for a release date like a year in advance and then commissions an artist to paint a freakin’ wall in Nashville with even more clues and then just rolls up and people are already waiting there for her?! MASTERMIND. That’s like some if you build it, they will come shit. How the hell did anyone see butterfly wings on a wall in Nashville and think, if I wait here Taylor Swift will show up? The same weirdos who wrote countless in depth theories about the hidden message in every Instagram post for the past year.

Since I’m much lazier, but just as thirsty as her super stans, I blindly tuned into ABC last night at 8, not realizing it was the NFL Draft. What fresh hell is that, Taylor? I’m not spending 3 1/2 hours watching football garbage just for you to drop a morsel every few commercial breaks. I finally turned it off after she bounced that pink dipped ponytail onstage and was like TEASER LOLOLOL. Ain’t nobody got time for that. I’ve got a hard out at 10pm every single night, so I resigned to just wait until the morning. I did manage to learn before bed that her special guest on the song was Panic! At the Disco’s lead singer and I was nervous as hell because I’ve never loved his voice and have mostly associated it with closing the G-D door. Now here we are, 6:15 AM watching this masterpiece before getting ready for the day and BOY DO I FEEL JAZZED TO TAKE ON FRIDAY.

Let’s get this out of the way real quick–could’ve done all the way without a random dramatic french scene at the beginning. And the spelling breakdown in the middle. But that’s just Taylor and of course she has to throw her talking and dramatics in every song and I’ve just come to accept it rather than fight it. Other than that, I was captivated by this video from start to finish. I felt like I was high on pastels and unicorns and I was perfectly content with it. For a fleeting moment I considered also getting pink hair. But the moment has passed. Mostly because I have brown hair and pink and brown is gross. I’d end up looking like Ann Perkins when she went through her sad breakup phase in Parks and Rec.

Woof. But I digress. Here are my favorite looks from the video:

HELLO TAYLOR’S BOOBS! Seriously she really started off with a bang in this number, poppin that cleavage like nobody’s biz.

Once again skating over the fact that all she needs to make her happy is a cat (replace it with a puppy), this dress and her mermaid waves are a real dreamscape. Also loved the quick lyrical shout out to “Mine”. One of my favorite TSwizzle songs and videos mostly because she pretends to be a mom to 2 kids in it and looks like she’s 16. Gr8 mems.

I mean who doesn’t love a his and hers mint marching band getup?! Also it would be wrong of me not to point out how phenomenal her legs look in this.

 

 

HONORABLE MENTION SCENES:

1. BUTTERFLIES. The snake turning into butterflies. I mean what is Taylor if she doesn’t have her metaphors and symbolism. The fact that she marks every album with a symbol and then brings it into the next era, again, marketing genius. Glad the snake is gone, honestly could’ve gotten down with something other than butterflies as they give me HARD flashbacks to when they were the logo for Aeropastale and printed on every piece of their clothing. But whatevs.

2. HEART ON. The scene where Brandon opens a door to his heart and we dive right in?! WHOA. Literally I have no other words. That was cool as hell.

3. PAINT STORM. I pretty much watched the last scene with my mouth open and drool coming out (normal for me anyway since I have a drooling problem) because I was so fascinated by all of the colors and a liquid dress. What a lovely finale for a pastel explosion of a video. Never thought I’d be on board with a Lisa Frank inspired aesthetic at 27 but here we are and there’s no turning back.

Also the song bangs. It’s catchy AF, Brandon was the perfect duet partner for it–although sucks for him because Tay is definitely taking all the glory here and “from Panic At the Disco” follows his name everywhere–but either way, I’ll be bumping this all weekend thinking of unicorns hearts and rainbows.