Television

The Hills Drinking Game

53a05077d50a8_-_cos-01-lauren-conrad-the-hills-cast-xl It’s no secret I have a thang for Lauren Conrad and another thang for trashy reality television…which comes together quite nicely to make The Hills a re-watchable series for me. Except instead of sitting down and binge-watching, I’ve found that it’s best consumed during a gal pal wine night as a way to feel nostalgic for a time when thick headbands were in style oh, and also to get hammied. I hope that sharing this very official drinking game with all of you will fulfill the overwhelming desire that you once had to booze every time Justin Bobby’s greasy locks and open mouthed burps graced your TV.

Take a Sip When:

-You see LA Traffic or the Hollywood sign

-Brody or Spencer uses the term homeboy or homie

-Audrina/Heidi talk to Chiara/Elodie about their personal lives that these “co-workers” are certainly not a part of.

elodie2

-Justin Bobby’s hair looks greasy

greasyabe

-LC touches her hair

-“Lisa wants to see you in her office”

lisalove

-Audrina has a blank stare that displays minimal brain activity, usually directed toward the ceiling.

audrinablankstare

-Spencer’s sister is referred to as the “She-Pratt”

-Whitney ends an “ing” word with the “k” sound instead

-Anyone starts a sentence with “It’s like…”

-Heidi admits that she has no friends, just Spencer

heidinofriends

-The phrase “Be Careful” or “Be Cautious” is uttered about anyone wanting to buddy up to LC’s shady ex-friends

-Spencer calls Heidi “my dear” and sounds like he wants to wear her skin as a suit.

-LC preaches an inspirational quote about love or friendships

anigif_enhanced-18213-1409218568-11anigif_enhanced-7551-1409217786-1

-JBobby calls Audrina “dude” as a term of endearment. Swoon.

-LC or Steph are in class to remind us all that they actually go to college

Take a Shot (or Gulp) When:

-LC is hammie sammied

LCdrunk

-Whitney’s surprised

whit

-LC cries

1362598807_lauren-conrad-1-lg

-Justin Bobby burps up everything he ate that day (and possibly that week)

burp

-Jen Bunney is shady AF

jenbunney

-A character says something off camera that is very obviously a voiceover dubbed in

-Audrina says she’s DONE with JB…DONE.

audrinadone 1405102292-justin_bobby

-Audrina is over being DONE with JB and takes his “hairstylin” ass back

-Whitney gives LC feedback that is really just repeating what LC said in an advice tone of voice

whitfirstdates

-An up and comer is introduced on the show like they’re in a garage band and they’re now a huge superstar (i.e. Lady Gaga)

hillsgaga

-“ARE THEY TAKING SHOTS?!”

heidishocked

-LC insults Audrina and she’s too stupid to notice, usually referring to her taste in men or Heidi using her to get to LC

jbobbydisgusting

-The gang announces that an event or trip will be drama free…and then there’s drama.

lcshocked

Take a Knee & Chug Your Drink When:

-The single black tear rolls down LC’s sad losing-another-BFF face

lauren-conrad-crying-happy-birthday-1

-LC doesn’t go to Paris

paris

-LC does go to Paris

-Audrina pretends to be friends with Sean Kingston and his crew and has a poster of him in her cube at work

audrinaseankingston

-Trashcan bar-slut redhead kisses Justin Bobby in front of Audrina but when confronted claims, “I didn’t kiss him. I didn’t NOTHING him.”

-Three 22 year olds buy a Hollywood mansion with a built-in pool

hillsmansion

-She-Pratt describes the life cycles of pet rodents

stephguineapig

-Spencer compares the bickering of basic betches to world conflicts. “It’s like trying to tell Iran and Israel to get along.”

Spencer-Pratt-Gif-2whitneyhills

-Spencer hooks up an IV of tequila to Heidi and then convinces her to marry him in Mexico

-Brody goes to Las Vegas reality show jail for dramatic effect

-LC makes her grand exit (Finish all the drinks within reach. It’s the end of the series.)

goodbyewine

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