Week of 5/4/15

1. Taylor Swift begins the 1989 tour in Tokyo with 55,000 people and it’s outrageously over the top. Girl’s got a moving stage, thousands of outfit changes, literal flying paper planes and synchronized the stadium via wristbands that light up to the beat of her music. Did we expect anything less? No. Was I still in awe? Yes. I guess this is why tickets were half a month’s rent. Thanks for making me feel like a poor person, Taylor. Keep traveling the world and performing sick beats in your purple shiny ice dancer fit and flare though. Respect.

No but actually I’ve included a collection of her outfits below because I’ve never seen a better collection of crop tops/bodysuits in my whole life. White crop with knee high boots coming in hot at number 1. (Also Tay really knows her audience in the first pic…)

2. The Mindy Project got the ax from Fox. Sad news but I feel like there’s hope in it being revived online or a cable network…or at least this is what I’m telling myself to stay calm. If I don’t have more Morgan Tookers in my life hanging with baby animals like a weirdo I might lose it.

3. Honest Trailer released a Fifty Shades edition this week. It had the word butthole in it, more than once. I think you know how this made the list. If laughing out loud every time I hear the word buhhole is childish then call me Peter Pan because I don’t ever wanna grow up.

4. The Royal Baby was born BUT did you hear Becks is tearin it up on Insta? Charlotte, Shmarlotte…David Beckham got an instagram on his 40th (forty.holy shit.) birthday and clearly he knows what insta’s all about because he immediately posted a selfie from bed. Yum. Since then he’s been crushing it so you should obviously follow him if you want to drool over his hot bod and hot fam. Here’s a sampling to tide you over.

5. Stephen Merchant makes me conflicted between laughing or covering my eyes. Obviously creator of Lip Sync Battle is going balls to the wall (I guess literally) so please enjoy his recreation of Xtina and cringe. Also might I add that Talk Dirty NEVER gets old?

Have a weird weekend, playas.