I made the sacrifice on a relaxing day full of family and food, to permanently glue my ass to the couch and consume everything on TV this morning just for you guys. You’re welcome, really. Here are the greatest hits of the Macy’s parade and the National Dog Show…should you be sick of family time and looking for some reading material post-turkey nap.

 

Macy’s Parade:

-Baldwinsville marching band does a SASSY rendition of a daft punk medley and reps CNY for all to see.

-Meghan Trainor performs a new song that I dig hard on a children’s toy float. Gurrrl power.

-There’s a Sea World float with Shamu that feels like it shouldn’t be included due to the fact that ever since Blackfish came out everyone hates Sea World. Read the crowd, guys…

-Nick Jonas wears the shit out of a peacoat and sings Jealous Guy…atop a cruise line float, which leads me to wonder if people get to pick the float they ride on?

-Matt Lauer is forced to describe balloons as if they are celebrities walking down the red carpet. “And here comes Paddington Bear wearing his signature hat and jacket…”

-There was a Peter Pan preview/performance and I got even less excited for the premiere of this live show next week–which means my excitement levels are in the negatives currently.

-MKTO got me revved up by singing Classic (still can’t get sick of that one) and also they won the float lottery with Ninja Turtles, MKTO has street cred, yo.

-In my dad’s words: Kiss “blew shit up again…ya gotta love ’em.” Though I don’t share this opinion, their performance was miles better than the weird video game salute dance that was shortly after.

-They promote the new Annie with that little 7 year old who almost swept the Oscars and brought a dog purse to the show a couple years ago, Jay-Z’s version of Hard Knock Life will ALWAYS be better, jus sayin.

National Dog Show:

(I didn’t see the whole show, sorry I’m not sorry, some of us had to take public transportation to our thanksgiving destination today)

-So many sensible shoes in one room, so little time.

-I saw a lot of ugly dogs and I didn’t think that would be possible considering how much I love puppies.

-Speaking of ugly dogs, the hairless black one that looked like an animated dog from Harry Potter will haunt my dreams tonight.

-What was the deal with the handlers eating their dogs’ treats? Share the wealth, guys. Nobody likes a tease.

-When my dad and I were contributing absolutely nothing to dinner, sitting on the couch making fun of dogs and my mom asked if he would come carve the turkey he replied, “No, they’re about to announce the best in show.” Happy Holidays from my family to yours.

-The man, the myth, the legend, Edd “Double D” E. Bivin was the Best in Show judge. What a rockstar.

-Nathan the Bloodhound won but let’s be straight up here…the sammy was ROBBED with the second place award. The sammy trotted around with an ear to ear grin and looked like a fluffy pile of happiness and was also well-behaved so WTF, Double D Ed?! I demand a recount.

 

 

Hope ya’ll had a nice Thanksgiving and stuff. I never thought leggings could feel constricting but that’s a place I got to today. Proud of it.

 

PS I didn’t want to have to go here, but Pitbull came close to ruining the day when he performed in Dallas as the halftime show. He did the same medley of songs he does every time he hits a stage and he was wearing creepy gloves and shades and grinding up on the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders. Can we have a solid week without him on TV orrrr?