Sometimes I just wanna talk about myself and not relate it back to a celeb headline from that week. Or work through big feelings on a very public platform. Or recap an entire year’s worth of activities. Basically this page is for WHATEVER THE HELL I WANT TO WRITE. Laugh at my struggles, pls. It just MIGHT make them all worth it.
WELP, I Tried. – Part Two
Disclaimer: I tried to not make this a 5,000 word dissertation, but I am a work in progress. If this blog is too long for you, please feel free to visit my Instagram and see the 5 curated & themed posts about this trip for a much shorter visual snack. That’s the family-friendly, ‘don’t piss…
WELP, I Tried. – Part One
Welcome to the summer of solo adventures that shall never be repeated. A lie that I told myself to get through one of the loneliest and darkest winters I have ever experienced, was that 2025 was going to be my year. I fully convinced myself (and anyone around me who would listen) that this is…
The Tummy Trials
As you might recall, I made the brave decision to detail my colonoscopy on this very blog a couple years ago. Since that fateful day when I sealed it into Internet history just what a disaster my intestines are amidst a dramatic retelling of my b*hole being plundered, I’ve continued living my life and hoping…
The Salty Ju Turns T E N!
Although it’s true I’ve been salty my whole life, today marks a decade of being salty in a permanent and very public forum. I’ve never once deleted a blog or retracted anything I’ve said, even when it was probably blatantly ill-informed or incorrect. And that my friends, is the beauty of the people’s internet. Say…
Table for One
I’m 33. I’m single. I live alone. I work remotely. And I’m not on the dating apps. I’m not on the dating apps because I thought I would make my grand debut on Hinge with my 6 stunning photos and witty one-liner prompts and hot men would be falling all over themselves to message me,…
Three Cheers for The Jersey Ju!
Oh, did you think this annual Jersey adventures recap blog was going to stop at year two? That’s cute. If anything, I’ve upped the ante by creating GardenStateGoofin, an account SPECIFICALLY for all of my Jerseylicious dalliances. All jokes aside, I will make a Grade A effort to be much briefer in this year-long summary…
The Most Alarming Things Medical Professionals Have Said to Me (So Far)
I’ve recently been trying harder to get published again, which caused me to dive back into the old archive of drafts from my writing sprint a couple years ago. I know it may seem hard to imagine for any of you who have read my blog or my satire before, but they are almost one…
I’m A Side Hustlin’ Hack
As luck would have it, exactly two weeks before I moved to a more expensive apartment, I got shitcanned by my freelance social media job that I had for 3 years, a supplemental income that I very much needed. But bad things don’t happen in isolated incidents, they happen in three’s, everyone knows that! At…
Year Two as The Jersey Ju
Today marks two years since I relocated to the glorious Garden State in what will forever be remembered as the most traumatic moving experience of my life. As you might recall, I made ambitious bucket lists (yes, that’s right, plural) when I first moved here to really adventure it up and explore my new home…
Open Letter to Everyone Working From Home But Really Just Running Errands (Julia’s Version)
If you feel like you just read a published piece with this same title, you’re not wrong. If you didn’t read it, WHY AREN’T YOU SUPPORTING MY ART?! Here’s the version that got published in Greener Pastures Magazine. I wrote the first draft of this piece in November of 2022 full of rage after yet…
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The Salty Ju 